Are You Faithful To Your Partner?

[ChiangMaiThai]

If not lacking in respect for one's partner then what does dishonesty and deception mean?

Thanks for the dictionary definitions. If you read my last post and a couple others further back, maybe you'll get the point.

In our society one partner can't say to the other that they are attracted to another individual and would like to experience intimacy with them. If they could do this without any anger or jealousy, the world would be a much happier place. But people want to own their girlfirends, boyfriends, husbands and wives like they own a car or a house. And knowing that your significant other is attracted to another crushes our massive egos. It is therefore unacceptable. The result is untold hardship. You've got good people forced into being dishonest and deceptive. You've got other people ignoring their instincts and emotions to stay in very sad, joyless realtionships in order to please the neighbours, their families, their co-workers etc. It is a sorry state of affairs.

[Moving]

I suspect that the majority of the opinions (faithful/unfaithful) are based on a combination of personal experiences and cultural/family up-bringing.

Some are doomed to spend a large part of their lives "trapped" in unhappy and unsatisfying relationships, and for many reasons (religion, children, money, stability etc) are not willing to end the relationship....many will attempt to "escape"...and this takes on an atmosphere of urgency as the years add up. Take a look at the clientele of Nana, Patpong, Soi Cowboy, Walking Street...ole farangs with a young Thai ladies..or depending on where you go...old Thai's with a young Thai ladies. I have no problems...I have said before in previous posts...I do not want the moral high ground...I can't hold it.

I feel that if either party in a relationship decides to have sex with another partner than something, at that time, was missing in the relationship...AND I will end this post with questions...

"Does a single act of being 'unfaithful' doom the relationship?"

"Does thinking about having sex with someone other that your partner mean you are being unfaithful?"

[roberteales]

Which of the following constitutes being unfaithful?

1. Having sex with another woman?

2. Kissing, or snogging another woman?

3. Chatting a woman up?

4. Smiling seductively at a beautiful woman who passes you by on the street?

5. Masturbating on the strength of a woman who you fancy?

6. Thinking dirty thoughts about a woman who you would love to screw?

If any, or all of these count then I am definietly unfaithful. Although I wont say which one of the above that I do the most.

Rob

[mango head]

The fact that half of those going into this life long commitment decide to end it should be a slight hint that the current system is not working for everyone or indeed for a great deal of people.

I think this is an indication of western society's disposable culture. Things are built to work a little while and then thrown away. Somehow this has crept into peoples way of thinking in all aspects of their lives. Sadly, if people feel there is a problem in their relationship, rather than discuss it or try and solve it, they just "throw it away."

[mango head]

One thing that seems to have escaped the mind's of the forum guests here is that it's nobody's d##n business what other people do with thier sex lives. If I want to spice up my life a bit here and there it's not your, his, her, their business.

It's not the government's either. It's mine and my wife's.

Sorry, but I didn't see any posts telling you what you can or can't do. the posts I saw were stating whether or not THEY were faithful and the reasons for it. It's not the role of this forum to dictate what other peoples behavior should be. People come to this forum to express their opinions. Granted, sometimes the posts wander off the topic a little, I think for the most part you will find the posters to be fascinating, funny, and informative. So lighten up a bit, willya?

[Boon Mee]

Have I been faithful to my partner?

Absolutely! 100%! My "Wat Jai" is ALWAYS faithful.!

[ChiangMaiThai]

40% unfaithful. Come on guys we can do better than that! Put in a little extra effort and maybe we can win this thing.

[chanchao]

40% unfaithful. Come on guys we can do better than that! Put in a little extra effort and maybe we can win this thing.

Look at it this way: if we keep this topic alive long enough then some of the faithful ones will eventually succumb and turn to the dark side. The unfaithful votes however are there to stay forever. It's kind of like losing your virginity, you can't regain it.

Hey.. how can I change my vote? ;-)

Cheers,

Chanchao

[mbkudu]

My heart is 100% faithful to my wife of ten years. I feel more sexual passion and love for her than I did half way through our marriage and it gets stronger each

year. My physical body is, I would say 80% faithful. One the reasons why I think

my love for her continues to grow is because I do indulge in a little variety now

and then. Some of the women I enjoy being with very much and others not so much. At times when with other women I reflect and feel that I am very lucky

to have the wife I have. I fee that I "know" her so well. Whereas the others are

for physical gratification only. You people need to relax. Humans are not immaculate beings, we are animals like all the others in the kingdom.

[Bluecat]

I feel more sexual passion and love for her

....

One the reasons why I think my love for her continues to grow is because I do indulge in a little variety now and then,...

So the more you take the taxi, the better you like your car?

Up to the time you will want to buy the taxi and sell the car,...

[mbkudu]

The family car is never sold and who on Earth would buy a taxi.

[Bluecat]

The family car is never sold and who on Earth would buy a taxi.

Believe me, quite a few foreigners in Thailand did. And quite seldom a brand new taxi,...

[mbkudu]

Why are you in Thailand? Are you studying human behavior as some kind of

book writing analyst or are you just trying to fit in?

[ChiangMaiThai]

My heart is 100% faithful to my wife of ten years. I feel more sexual passion and love for her than I did half way through our marriage and it gets stronger each

year. My physical body is, I would say 80% faithful. One the reasons why I think

my love for her continues to grow is because I do indulge in a little variety now

and then. Some of the women I enjoy being with very much and others not so much. At times when with other women I reflect and feel that I am very lucky

to have the wife I have. I fee that I "know" her so well. Whereas the others are

for physical gratification only. You people need to relax. Humans are not immaculate beings, we are animals like all the others in the kingdom.

A nice honest response. Not another guy who thinks that he is superior and sophisticated because he refuses to 'give in' to his 'animal instincts'.

[Bluecat]

A nice honest response. Not another guy who thinks that he is superior and sophisticated because he refuses to 'give in' to his 'animal instincts'.

True, the closer to animals, the better,...

[D80]

I'm just wondering....

for the guys who say they are not 'physically faithful' to their partners but still 'emotionally faithful' (love their wives to bits etc etc):

1)If your wife does the same thing (ie. indulge in some varieties of men, bar fine rent boys, have 'massage' etc), will you be happy with it?

2)If your wife suffers from your behaviour (ie that you have sex with other women sometimes, even just for sexual gratification only), and asks you to stop, seeing that you care for her so much, will you stop?

3)If you have a daughter one day and some married guys have sex with her from time to time to get his 'sexual gratification' from her, would you be ok with it?

4)Again, if you have a daughter one day and she is married to a guy who goes off and have sex with other women from time to time for his sexual gratification only, would you be ok with it?

5)Since protection is not always 100% effective, does your wife get worried about possibly getting sexually transmitted diseases from you? And do you feel worried that you may contract STD and pass it on to your wife/partner/unborn child?

6)If, unfortunately, you contracted STD from one of your sexual partner and passed it on to your wife/partner/unborn child, will you stop having multiple sex partners then? (bearing in mind protection is not always 100% effective)

7)If you have a daughter one day and her husband sleeps around, then unfortunately contracted STD, passed it on to her/her unborn child (your grandchild), would you be ok with it? Also, if your son decided to have multiple sexual partners when married, looking up to you as his role model, and accidentally caught STD, will you be ok with it? (bearing in mind protection is not 100% effective)

8)If your wife also indulge in sexual varieties and accidentally became pregnant/caught STD, will you be ok with it? (bearing in mind protection is not 100% effective)

9)If your children find out that you are not 'physically faithful' to their mother and strongly disagree with it, to the point that they beg you to stop, will you stop?

I'm asking all these questions, not because I want to pick a fight or anything. I am just very curious what people think.

One of the reasons my partner & I decide to be physically and emotionally faithful to each other is to avoid some of the problems that we thought would get in the way of our relationship. There are many more reasons for us not to; but that is just us in our situation. For us, the complication is just not worth it. But I understand that for others, things may be different.

So, I'm just wondering what are the reasons for other people to choose differently, apart from one's own sexual gratification.

Again, I don't know how to express my tone to make sure that you guys understand this is not an aggressive post. I'm just truly curious, that's all.

[Bluecat]

I'm just wondering....

for the guys who say they are not 'physically faithful' to their partners but still 'emotionally faithful' (love their wives to bits etc etc):

1)If your wife does the same thing (ie. indulge in some varieties of men, bar fine rent boys, have 'massage' etc), will you be happy with it?

2)If your wife suffers from your behaviour (ie that you have sex with other women sometimes, even just for sexual gratification only), and asks you to stop, seeing that you care for her so much, will you stop?

3)If you have a daughter one day and some married guys have sex with her from time to time to get his 'sexual gratification' from her, would you be ok with it?

4)Again, if you have a daughter one day and she is married to a guy who goes off and have sex with other women from time to time for his sexual gratification only, would you be ok with it?

The first four points are enough, D80.

Animals are animals. What differentiate animals from humans? The ability to control your instincts. Still a long way to go, obviously,...

[D80]

I'm just curious Bluecat!!

My post wasn't meant to be a jab at anything, honest!

Seriously though, I would be interested to see the real answers. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

[davethailand]

D80

i think they are fair coments and i agree with most of them.

i don't cheat on my wife because i know for a fact she will. A, leave me & B, she will do exactly the same thing to me and make sure i see her.

that might sound strange to some but maybe thats why we have such a close happy relationship.

[Bluecat]

My post wasn't meant to be a jab at anything, honest!

As honest can be,...

[TizMe]

I'm just curious Bluecat!!

Remember what curiosity did to the cat D80.

[mbkudu]

Dear BlueCat, I'm just a man I guess. I can't analyze it any furthur than that. If you think I and men like me are scum, then that's ok. Some of us need this and some of us don't. We're dealing with something that goes so far back into the history of human (animal) nature that I think it might be impossible to figure it out

Let me add something. My wife is aware of my behavior and doesn't mind as long as I'm careful and I am. One of the women I sleep with on a regular basis is one of her college aged neices, who I am putting through college. When the wife's in town, I'm with her, when the wife's out of town, I'm with her neice. You can call

her a mia noi or what ever you want, I don't care. One of the good things about Thailand is the freedom without stigmatism like you find in the west. Europeans,

French, Italians still value freedom as well.

I think this will end it for me on this subject for me; really can't think of anything

else to say. Take care now, Mbkudu.

[davethailand]

Dear BlueCat, I'm just a man I guess. I can't analyze it any furthur than that. If you think I and men like me are scum, then that's ok. Some of us need this and some of us don't. We're dealing with something that goes so far back into the history of human (animal) nature that I think it might be impossible to figure it out

Let me add something. My wife is aware of my behavior and doesn't mind as long as I'm careful and I am. One of the women I sleep with on a regular basis is one of her college aged neices, who I am putting through college. When the wife's in town, I'm with her, when the wife's out of town, I'm with her neice. You can call

her a mia noi or what ever you want, I don't care. One of the good things about Thailand is the freedom without stigmatism like you find in the west. Europeans,

French, Italians still value freedom as well.

I think this will end it for me on this subject for me; really can't think of anything

else to say. Take care now, Mbkudu.

mbkudu

i know alot of people that have a bit on the side as it were, i also know that some wives know about it and don't say anything, up to them.

but let me ask you this,

don't you think that by doing this you are making your wife look and feel stupid?

what about the other people that know you and your wife, do you think they look at her thinking what a mug she is for putting up with it.

as for sleeping with your niece, (whom by the way you are putting though college) that is wrong! does the rest of your wifes family know about this.

the topics about being unfaithful to your partner, most people that are unfaithful do it secretly with a bg or whatever. but i can't believe your bragging about shagging your wifes niece.

its a bit sick in my opinion

[Bluecat]

Dear BlueCat, I'm just a man I guess. I can't analyze it any furthur than that. If you think I and men like me are scum, then that's ok.

I was not judging, just commenting,...

One of the women I sleep with on a regular basis is one of her college aged nieces, who I am putting through college.

Now, I'm judging,...

[mbkudu]

Ok, so I've grown little horns on my head and I seem to have a sharp pointed tail, but I'll tell you, I'm having FUN.

[mbkudu]

Blue Cat, I noticed that there are two separate posts started by you on the same subject: Mia Nois. You must have an extremely deep interest in this subject.

Is there the possibility of a little Pua Noi for you in the future; just curious. I am

assuming that you are a female, maybe a Farang female. If I have made an incorrect assumption, then I am very sorry.

[Bluecat]

My wife is aware of my behavior and doesn't mind as long as I'm careful and I am.

Can we meet your wife, so that she can have fun also?

Or has it been taken care of already?

But anyway, I guess you do not care. we are animals after all, aren't we?

[mbkudu]

Yes indeed.

[Bluecat]

Blue Cat, I noticed that there are two separate posts started by you on the same subject: Mia Nois. You must have an extremely deep interest in this subject.

Is there the possibility of a little Pua Noi for you in the future; just curious. I am

assuming that you are a female, maybe a Farang female.

Jeez, you got me. Your knowledge and understanding of the female mind is so deep that we are no match for you. I'm humbled.

You truly deserve to be the king of the savanna,...

[utapaortnab]

My take is that some men and women NEVER grow up and learn about honor, self respect, and proper adult behavior.

What is it, I ask, that would allow someone to marry their partner, promising to honor him/her, and then feel that it is still necessary to "cheat", to have mistresses, mia nois, prostitutes in addition to the person he/she is meant to be with for the rest of their lives????

Is it just immaturity, or is it insecurity, or does this person think that the more people he sleeps with raises the bar on his/her worth????

It is simply something I will never fully understand.

Ken Bower

San Antonio Texas.