The Sil And Her Dumplings

[tutsiwarrior]

I'm at home now for a visit and as per usual the inlaws are over for a visit...the sister-in law is a big woman named Lek and she knows her way around the kitchen and I looked and thought; 'if I keep me head down she will perform in the way that I expect...mmmmm, yeah...'

previously she rattled some pans and looked in the fridge to see what was available and then put together an omelette that was indescribable and I watched during part of the preparation and I know talented cooks when I see them: no wasted motion and the result is devastation...monsters that are wild with control of temperatures and ingredients to produce concoctions that are beyond anyone's wildest fantasies...

sure enough not much later the step daughter came down the stairs with a wicked grin and a covered bowl and smirked: 'got sumpim fer ye...' and I said:'what's that? are ye gonna bend over the cooker and let me 'have at it'? and then she set down the bowl and uncovered it...

I was stunned as the presentation fairly leaped at me from the bowl and the step daughter stepped back with her evil grin as I lunged at the bowl's contents...

later with the wife: 'we got to harness Lek's talent and give it to the world!' and she was bored an said: ' yeah, tuts...we tried a food stall on the main road where they live but it didn't work...' and I shouted: 'how can it 'not work'! the greatest chefs in China would kill to know what she does!!!

they were wonton-like dumplings that Lek had prepared and I have had dumplings all over asia and can declare, etc., etc...

like in the movie where Steve McQueen shrugged in futility and said 'Jesus'...

[tutsiwarrior]

earlier the niece Pan came in while the dumplings were being prepared to say hello ...she is big like her mum and the doorway was darkened with her bulk as she entered the room and she pressed my face to her large teenaged breasts in greeting and then I was able to look up and see who she was...looking vertically...she is handy in the kitchen as well as she hangs out with her mum but is more shy about presenting things to the table...when I disentangled she presented herself with hands on hips and I said: 'yer lookin' good, kid'...and then she smiled and went upstairs to join her mum in the kitchen...

about 5 years ago I remember her as a sick little girl with dengue in the local hospital before traveling back to work with her mum wringing her hands in concern...the nurse said that it had stabilised but I cried all the way back to Jeddah on the plane pondering: 'why can I not prevent these things from happening?...'

[saakura]

So what is this thread about?

[tutsiwarrior]

ohh...man...you don't get the point...threads don't really have to be about anything but I did want to introduce the matter of my country-girl thai sister in law and her delicious home made dumplings...

(and I can hear the following:) 'and why should we be interested in country women and their culinary antics?'...

well, I dunno..folks like to eat and they do have imaginations and folks have been complaining about boredom round here...

so...shoot me, why don't ye...

Edited April 2, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[Payboy]

So what is this thread about?

Think it's about not posting when drunk, but can't be so sure.

[tutsiwarrior]

aw right aw right...maybe I should have called the thread 'I just had some wonderful dumplings in Thailand' which is worthwhile to mention as dumplings are not a standard part of thai cuisine but in the hands of a capable chef can have no boundaries...

it is remarkable as this is a country woman that has never been outside of the little district that she lives in...the chinese usually take the awards for dumplings but she's never even been to chinatown in BKK...where does she get this fantastic culinary instinct? a big fat woman in a t-shirt and baggy shorts?

sometimes when I'm at home someone sez: 'tutsi has been eating hot dogs from 7-11 again' and then I barely see her; a phantasm passing in the dark and a bowl of something exquisite then mysteriously appears on my kitchen table...

the step daughter then considers me sardonically and I shout: 'what the hell is going on here???' and she looks at the ceiling and pretends to hum a tune...and then when I persist she picks up the baby girl and sez: 'hey look! you have a beautiful baby grandaughter!'

surely someone else on this forum has had the same experience?

[onionluke]

Well , me and my cuz were only weans , and our gran was a cook of the traditional flavour . It was a local midwinter festival and the whole family was gathered . Much beautiful , simple and local food was prepared for this was the early 70's before jetting grub around the world had become a fashionable extravagance . My dear gran made her food from the CO-OP and her garden . So it was all layed out on a table in a side room of the house . My cousin and I were of an infuriatingly dangerous age and so were confined to the side room , whilst men and women drank and so on , with a clothes horse laid across the doorway barring our escape . The gathering was warming up and me and cuz saw a chance to break out . Cousin's gift of a carpentry set was in the side room too for to give us amusement . What to do with this lot , wee minds conferred , mumble mumble in agreement . So wee climbed up onto the table from the floor to the chair and set about the Christmass cake . We clamped , malleted , planed .sawed and sanded the cake into smoothdom , finding all the ten pences as we laboured .

Aye all our hard work went without appreciation , but I can still remember the taste , the Christmass cake , the ten pences , the clip around the ear .

[sustento]

So what is this thread about?

Vodka

[onionluke]

So what is this thread about?

Vodka

and grapefruit juice if you can get it , pomelo is a good second best

[candypants]

seems to me like thinly veiled lechery with a peado chaser

[tutsiwarrior]

oh dear...this happened 10 years ago on this forum...I had just bonded with the wife's family and I found it strange that adults and children slept together and wondered if it was appropriate...we had the teenaged step daughter and some other nieces sleeping next to us in all of their adolescent glory and folks from the forum would say: 'hey, man that sounds a bit too weird...' but that's what 'floats the boat' for sleeping arrangements in rural Thailand...

today with the kids there was a rough house with a lot of screaming and the little niece jumped into my arms like she useta and I did a 'corn on the cob' number on her little belly and she then screamed and squirmed with delight and I set her down and I wondered if that was gonna be the last time as she is getting older and I was saddened...

anyway, I ain't got nothin' to apologize for and if those that want to exercise their absurd western abhorrence persist then you know what you can do including and with prejudice to the 'confectionery trouser' brigade...

(youse gettin' disrespectful an' I don't like it too much...)

Edited April 2, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[candypants]

then stop talking about teenage breasts, and making absurd remarks about bending girls over the cooker -- simple innit?

I don't find it odd at all that families sleep together, in fact my daughter has been sleeping in my bed since she was born, but them I'm not the one making using sexual innuendo, am I?

[onionluke]

then stop talking about teenage breasts, and making absurd remarks about bending girls over the cooker -- simple innit?

I don't find it odd at all that families sleep together, in fact my daughter has been sleeping in my bed since she was born, but them I'm not the one making using sexual innuendo, am I?

Not at all , not at all .

[wooloomooloo]

later with the wife: 'we got to harness Lek's talent and give it to the world!' and she was bored an said: ' yeah, tuts...we tried a food stall on the main road where they live but it didn't work...' and I shouted: 'how can it 'not work'! the greatest chefs in China would kill to know what she does!!!

Just because your sister in law's a great cook, tutsiwarrior, doesn't mean she's a good business woman.

If you're certain of her talents then maybe you need to come at this from another angle, i.e. a different business model. Think about it.

[tutsiwarrior]

then stop talking about teenage breasts, and making absurd remarks about bending girls over the cooker -- simple innit?

I don't find it odd at all that families sleep together, in fact my daughter has been sleeping in my bed since she was born, but them I'm not the one making using sexual innuendo, am I?

and why should that annoy anyone? my stepdaughter will be 20 y.o. in June and has 2 children and no one has any cause to complain about any goddamed 'innuendo'... perceived or otherwise...plus she has been helping my wife out a lot while I've been at work who has menopause problems and I just bought her an iphone so that I'm entitled if I wanna bend her over the cooker and have my way...

she is a special girl with unique sensibilities and abilities and I'm just finding that out after 13 years...maybe it's because she's not a kid anymore and etc...

the niece Pan is a big, full figured girl and when she gave me a hug in greeting her tits got in the way...simple enough, I was seated and she was standing, etc...

[candypants]

then stop talking about teenage breasts, and making absurd remarks about bending girls over the cooker -- simple innit?

I don't find it odd at all that families sleep together, in fact my daughter has been sleeping in my bed since she was born, but them I'm not the one making using sexual innuendo, am I?

and why should that annoy anyone? my stepdaughter will be 20 y.o. in June and has 2 children and no one has any cause to complain about any goddamed 'innuendo'... perceived or otherwise...plus she has been helping my wife out a lot while I've been at work who has menopause problems and I just bought her an iphone so that I'm entitled if I wanna bend her over the cooker and have my way...

she is a special girl with unique sensibilities and abilities and I'm just finding that out after 13 years...maybe it's because she's not a kid anymore and etc...

the niece Pan is a big, full figured girl and when she gave me a hug in greeting her tits got in the way...simple enough, I was seated and she was standing, etc...

have at her mate, you have earned it, I had you figured all wrong

[tutsiwarrior]

later with the wife: 'we got to harness Lek's talent and give it to the world!' and she was bored an said: ' yeah, tuts...we tried a food stall on the main road where they live but it didn't work...' and I shouted: 'how can it 'not work'! the greatest chefs in China would kill to know what she does!!!

Just because your sister in law's a great cook, tutsiwarrior, doesn't mean she's a good business woman.

If you're certain of her talents then maybe you need to come at this from another angle, i.e. a different business model. Think about it.

yeah, I reckon that flogging food at the side of the road is not a good scenario for making money as the 'diners' just wanna stuff their faces for as cheaply as possible and then move on down the road...Lek is a genius in the kitchen but don't have much sense otherwise...

some years ago there was the idea of a dump truck and the wife came to me with a demand, not a proposal...we worked thru some numbers and it was obvious that the money would be wasted with all the operating costs as she hadn't looked at the figures; she demanded the money...it was then clear to me that her stupid brother had a pal who was a con man and because my wife had already struck the deal she couldn't back out and we lost about USD10k...losing the money wasn't so bad; I just wanna get my hands on the bastid and bring in 'the bad m.f.'s with pliers and blow torches and get mideaval on his ass...'

[wooloomooloo]

'we got to harness Lek's talent and give it to the world!'

Here's the rub, tutsi - your business and you employ your SIL. She might even be a partner.

This is where the harness Lek's talent comes in. She's head chef. She cooks and she trains the staff. Lek can't be at pit face all day, every day so you'll need to employ new talent on a regular basis.

Edited April 2, 2013 by wooloomooloo

[craigt3365]

The OP does seem to have a way with words, but not really sure this is food related. Best if we move this over to the Farang Pub.

Topic Moved.

[saakura]

The OP does seem to have a way with words, but not really sure this is food related. Best if we move this over to the Farang Pub.

Topic Moved.

Seems more like having a way with words that dont make much sense and still cant figure out whether the thread is about food or his fascination for his step daughter and sister in law.

[Dancealot]

ohh...man...you don't get the point...threads don't really have to be about anything but I did want to introduce the matter of my country-girl thai sister in law and her delicious home made dumplings...

(and I can hear the following:) 'and why should we be interested in country women and their culinary antics?'...

well, I dunno..folks like to eat and they do have imaginations and folks have been complaining about boredom round here...

so...shoot me, why don't ye...

I am new here, so i happy to speak out now i really understand why you got your Poster of the year title.

Keep it up.

I voted for someone else,....

Edited April 3, 2013 by Dancealot

[billd766]

I enjoyed the thread very much and I don't care where it was posted.

It made a brilliant change from all the other political, should I buy a bike without a green book , my Thai wife/girlfriend and other totally predictable and boring threads.

Thank you very much Tutsi, you have made my week..

[tutsiwarrior]

'we got to harness Lek's talent and give it to the world!'

Here's the rub, tutsi - your business and you employ your SIL. She might even be a partner.

This is where the harness Lek's talent comes in. She's head chef. She cooks and she trains the staff. Lek can't be at pit face all day, every day so you'll need to employ new talent on a regular basis.

it would be my wife's business with Lek as the partner...we would need a well located premises and a line on good ingredients and there is always the risk of failure and losing USD20-30k which I can't afford as I have health issues and my future working time as an expatriate engineer is limited but the chef is well known in these parts and we have that going for us...

but...'dare to struggle, dare to win' as someone once said...

the failure rate for new restaurant businesses is astronomical and makes the whole proposition very daunting...

[tutsiwarrior]

The OP does seem to have a way with words, but not really sure this is food related. Best if we move this over to the Farang Pub.

Topic Moved.

Seems more like having a way with words that dont make much sense and still cant figure out whether the thread is about food or his fascination for his step daughter and sister in law.

(sigh) ye gotta reckon that things are in decline when miserable types keep searching threads for educational value...

[paulchiangmai]

Well , me and my cuz were only weans , and our gran was a cook of the traditional flavour . It was a local midwinter festival and the whole family was gathered . Much beautiful , simple and local food was prepared for this was the early 70's before jetting grub around the world had become a fashionable extravagance . My dear gran made her food from the CO-OP and her garden . So it was all layed out on a table in a side room of the house . My cousin and I were of an infuriatingly dangerous age and so were confined to the side room , whilst men and women drank and so on , with a clothes horse laid across the doorway barring our escape . The gathering was warming up and me and cuz saw a chance to break out . Cousin's gift of a carpentry set was in the side room too for to give us amusement . What to do with this lot , wee minds conferred , mumble mumble in agreement . So wee climbed up onto the table from the floor to the chair and set about the Christmass cake . We clamped , malleted , planed .sawed and sanded the cake into smoothdom , finding all the ten pences as we laboured .

Aye all our hard work went without appreciation , but I can still remember the taste , the Christmass cake , the ten pences , the clip around the ear .

Thats what inflation does to you, when I was young they used to put the old silver threepenny bits in the pud. So it went up to tenpence did it? Probably quids now.

[tutsiwarrior]

one new years day in Sandy Hills in Glasgow nearly 20 years ago as I was strolling with the bairn in the push chair folks came up and put 50 pence coins in his clothing...

[onionluke]

one new years day in Sandy Hills in Glasgow nearly 20 years ago as I was strolling with the bairn in the push chair folks came up and put 50 pence coins in his clothing...

chust a wee bit ov silver

[tutsiwarrior]

yeah...

hey...maybe I should open a dumpling shop up on the Shettlestone Road...right by the junction with Killin Street; big Lek and daughter Pan would cause quite a stir with the wee jimmys around there...

c'mon...who's in? blether, Smokes?...plenty of quality meat from the butcher shops around there but ye need to have the makin's fer the little pastry noodles...so's that they don't fall apart when biled...

down at the Scotia Bar folks are suppin' their halves of Tennants and Grouse and mumblin': 'ye had them dumplins then?' 'nah, but them big brown asian women are sumpin' t'see, I'm told...'

'I'm also told that the owner is a yank that supports Celtic...'

Edited April 3, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[onionluke]

Excellent idea , get wee trays and sell the coco cakes to the passengers at Garrowhill and Shettleston stations , Young niece will see through it quick enough .

[smokie36]

Im Potchana in Mae Salong has great dumplings....even better roast pork....and better still revolving tables so ya can pinch your neighbours grub.

Could be some fun there with bike keys an all for pudding.....