It's Mango Time!

[tutsiwarrior]

and tutsi is at home mixing a drink and then the kids appear knawing on green mangos 'ma muang man' and I look around and say 'where are the sweet mangoes???' and then there is the wife with arms folded and hip cocked and looking beautiful in her little cut offs and t-shirt who sez: ' there could have been a load by now but I remember that sweet mangoes remind you of an old girl friend in Jakarta...'

and tutsi mutters to himself: 'blast these asian women and their long memories...I can't even get a nicely sliced mango during mango season...'

then, this evening the little niece comes in from the weekly Friday market down the wat with carrier bags brimming with the fruit, there must have been 5 kilos, half green and half ripe ones...and then the sweet ones are peeled and sliced and the niece appears with a 'mango tray' bigger than she is and watches as tutsi devours the lot...

then she squeals with delight and and sez something like 'uncle tutsi, you are a beast!' and then runs back up the stairs...

tutsi is slouched in his rattan chair slathered with sweet mango juice and wondered what all the commotion was about; one normally eats mangoes during mango season, wot?

are YOU aware that mangoes are in season?

[Totster]

There's a dog in season across the road, causing a right commotion amongst the male dog population..

totster

[tutsiwarrior]

There's a dog in season across the road, causing a right commotion amongst the male dog population..

totster

hey, tots!...

are you saying that there is a dog season that corresponds to mangoes in season?

tutsi looks up from his sliced mangoes in hotel rooms from Hanoi to Jakarta and there is a sexually rapacious asian woman who barks 'woof!'

[theblether]

I am aware that mangos are in season, unfortunately I can't partake as I'm in training, and mangos are like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop.

[smokie36]

I am aware that mangos are in season, unfortunately I can't partake as I'm in training, and mangos are like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop.

No more posting on food threads....unless you start a salad thread!!

[Totster]

There's a dog in season across the road, causing a right commotion amongst the male dog population..

totster

hey, tots!...

are you saying that there is a dog season that corresponds to mangoes in season?

Well, it is a coincidence you'll agree... ?

totster

[theblether]

I am aware that mangos are in season, unfortunately I can't partake as I'm in training, and mangos are like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop.

No more posting on food threads....unless you start a salad thread!!

I couldn't help myself, the mental picture of Tutsi sitting there covered in Mango juice was too much for me

[Payboy]

There's a dog in season across the road, causing a right commotion amongst the male dog population..

totster

I bet they're making sticky rice.

[tutsiwarrior]

I am aware that mangos are in season, unfortunately I can't partake as I'm in training, and mangos are like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop.

No more posting on food threads....unless you start a salad thread!!

well, you know...thai folks don't eat a lot of western style salads and this is a thai food thread...

but, here goes...

tutsi's salad story:

a long time ago in a galaxy far away tutsi was reading the food section in a 'women's supplement' in the sunday paper and a salad recipe caught my attention and I went into the kitchen and lo! I had all the ingredients available and then ran water into the sink to wash the veges and got out the big knife and restored the edge and got to work...and, man was it good; something about the combination of ingredients was truly outstanding (the avocados and the olive oil made it heavy on the fat)

then I goes over to the evil sister's house with the ingredients and all the best intentions and announce: 'hey! ye gotta try this!' and when I finished the sister's husband who is also my best pal from primary school sez: 'mmmmm, tutsi...where'd you get this from?' and I said 'from the Home section of last week's sunday times...'

and then the sister appears and sez: '<deleted> is goin' on in here? tutsi, are you drinkin' again?' then she looks at the salad bowl and has a taste and then she's devoured it all and casts the bowl aside and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and growls: 'ye think yer smart...DON'T YE!!!' and then she lunges for the big chopping knife and then my pal grabs a chair to try and restrain her and then their 4 little children tumble into the kitchen and start howling and etc, etc...

a good salad recipe can be lethal in the wrong hands...

Edited April 6, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[theblether]

^^

[JLCrab]

For me, mango season means a daily mango smoothie with Ovaltine white malt. I've pretty much given up on western style salads and given the abundance of cabbage make cole slaw and saurkraut heaped on open faced sandwiches (although I'm going to wait again for cooler weather for the saurkraut)

Avocados are something in which I indulge during my 3 weeks in the USA and get them out of my thought-range.

[tutsiwarrior]

I found beautiful avocados at the market in north central Vietnam and nice mangoes as well...and I used to bring them back to the accommodation and offer them to the serving women an' 'awww, that's sweet, Mr tutsi!'...

and then there was Phuong who was about 18 and a VN country girl siren who let herself in on a Sunday when I was in bed and sang to herself while cleaning and I pretended to be asleep and one day I said as she was leaving: 'don't fergit to take some mangoes!' and then she sat on the bed and expertly peeled and sliced the fruit and I was naked under the covers and we mutually partook...and then she washed up and walked out the door with a wave and 'see ya!'

these girls know nothing of what they do...

[tutsiwarrior]

and then Ms Ky who was a manager heard about the mangoes and when I offered them to her looked at me in the eye evenly with distain...

and the next time I was at the supermarket I said to the highly made up young woman attendant: 'I'll have some ob dat shampoo...' and she smirked: 'ye got a problem wid de split ends?'

and I left the fragrant boddle where Ms Ky could see it the next time she called (she was a frequent caller as she liked to practice her English language skills) and she said: 'that's better, and as you are a westerner and I am roman catholic you will understand when I absolve you...'

she was about 4'6'' and under 25 years old and with a splendid back side which she didn't acknowledge as it was beneath her dignity...and I think that her dad was a local party member which is a bit weird for a practicing catholic...but hey, VN is a land of contradictions...

Edited April 7, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[wayned]

My wife's team of Mango Warriors have arrived from Bangkok and are currently stripping my 10 Rai of fruit to take back to Bangkok tonight and sell. They are drinking my beer and whiskey and cooking in the Gazebo. I'll never see a baht from the fruit, but it's a family gathering and a weekend party and the birds would just get it otherwise.

[JLCrab]

... and the nubile VN maid didn't say " Hey Mr. Tutsi why you keepin' one 'a dem mangoes under the covers dere?"

[tutsiwarrior]

yeah...I gots to admit that Phuong and the mangoes was the most sensual moment in the past 5-6 years and that there was no sex involved...must be something in the nature of the fruit which is aromatic and sensual...and is an observation of my darling wife when she considers my background as a 'rake and ramblin' boy'

Edited April 7, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[JLCrab]

Jeez what snoozer ... how about this one for the still living:

Edited April 7, 2013 by JLCrab

[tutsiwarrior]

hey man...I'd rather snooze with that pretty girl than with Waylon Jennings...he's so ugly that he should be in prison...

('hey! whatever happened to so and so?'...'he got banged up fer bein' ugly...')

Edited April 7, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[JLCrab]

It's called music, Tutsi. You could be ugly as sin, but if you played like Waylon there'd be more pretty girls around than you could handle.

[tutsiwarrior]

well...there have been a lot of pretty girls around but I don't think that it has anything to do with my guitar playing ability (tutsi put down his guitar in the early 70s and hasn't handled it since...I bought a Yamaha drednought a few years ago and tried some tunes with hard strumming with power chords and it frightened the little niece)

but I did have some dope dealer associates in the late 60s in Pasadena and there always were pretty gals around then...

[tutsiwarrior]

and I just received a message from Ms Ky that she is married (which I knew) and that she has recently given birth (which I didn't know as I figured that being a properly educated young woman from an influential family in a provincial town in VN that that would be unlikely so close to the nuptials)

there have been big changes in her life that she wanted to communicate to me and her message touched me deeply as she said something about us 'being under the same sky'...

we were traveling by car once between Ky Anh and Dong Hoi on the main north-south road and I mentioned that the rice harvest appeared to be late and she then folded her arms and looked at me and said: 'myself and my family are not engaged in those pursuits and wouldn't know...' and then I realized that I may have inadvertently insulted her...jezuz, Jane Austin in Quang Binh province...and later we stopped to get some bun bo and I was lookin' about to get some coke mixer for the Vodka Hanoi and then I said: 'this really tasty...' and then she looked up in her hornrimmed spectacles and said: 'there appears to be a lot that you don't know about Vietnam, tutsi...'

just a story and they happen all the time...

Edited April 8, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[JLCrab]

I'm sure with your effervescent personality there were always lots of pretty girls around but I think of this one from The Last Waltz as spoken by Robbie Robertson of 'The Band' when offered a job playing guitar in Ronnie Hawkins' band:

He called me up, and I said, "Sure I'd like a job. What does it mean? What do I do?" And he said, "Well, son, you won't make much money, but you'll get more p-ssy than Frank Sinatra."

Or maybe the pretty girls just went for you because when you talked you reminded them of that cute Uncle Remus guy in the Disney movie.

[tutsiwarrior]

well...you know...that Uncle Remus always had plenty of stories to tell...

[jeff555]

i love mangoes............

[Totster]

i love mangoes............

i love mangroves..........

[tutsiwarrior]

I gots a problem with mangroves...

I was working near Ca Mau south of the Mekong which is almost 100% mangrove where the client was attempting to erect a power station and it was a hostile environment...mostly local folks got around by boat...and when we got to the site I looked around and said: 'jesus, who ordered this mess...

and then I thought about 'the american war' and patrol boats going up the little passages with nervous american kids scared as hell and then gunfire bursting forth from the tangle of weeds on the 'shore' and a commander screaming 'get in there and kill 'em!!!' and then the sergeant saying 'we gots a bit of a problem, sir...there ain't no place to land' and then the crazy commander seizing the radio and calling in a napalm strike which usually never reached it's target anyway...

and then the ghosts finally got to me and I went home only 6 months into a 2 year contract...

my companion Linda Fiorentino came to visit from Vung Tau for a few days looked around and said 'you can't be serious, tuts...'

her dad was killed in the war and it was never clear which side he was on...she never wanted to speak of it...

Edited April 8, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[JLCrab]

Do you also have a problem with mangosteen -- or is it really mangostein?

[craigt3365]

Very interesting stories...but not barely related to Thai food. How about we move this to the Pub so you can continue your stories. OK?

Topic Moved.

[tutsiwarrior]

well (sigh), yeah, perhaps the thread may not be strictly about mangoes...but they are a 'congealing element'...really?!

(and then tutsi as Antoine Doinel in Les 400 ccoups crouches with apprehension as the school teacher rolls up his sleeve and approaches with the yard stick...)

Edited April 9, 2013 by tutsiwarrior

[StreetCowboy]

I am aware that mangos are in season, unfortunately I can't partake as I'm in training, and mangos are like Pringles, once you pop you can't stop.

No more posting on food threads....unless you start a salad thread!!

I couldn't help myself, the mental picture of Tutsi sitting there covered in Mango juice was too much for me

I've learnt not to form mental images after a particularly disturbing episode on television that I shan't go into on a public forum.

Anyway, if they're in season, that explains why there's so many of them about. When does the fox-hunting season start?