I'm Still Just The Falang

[roamer]

Henry, I'm a American Buddhist monk.. when I'm in Thailand, I'm called Phra Farang. At the moment, I'm living in a Thai Buddhist temple in Phoenix, Arizona. Guess what the Thai people call me when they come to the temple? you got it. Phra Farang. in my own country no less.

Good point. Phra is a title of respect accorded to monks and a Thai would not use farang following it if it were to imply any disrespect.

[roamer]

Henry, if i were you when your g/f or her family members introduce new family members or new friends to you, forget the wai just hold your hand out for a good old fashioned handshake and say "hi i'm the farang". When your g/f questions why you did that, you have the golden opportunity to explain how she and her family have shown little respect for you for 5 years so why should you make any efforet to show any more respect to them.

If she makes excuses for them or fails to see the problem, your only option "Leave".

He should not "wai" anyway. It's a complex Thai hierarchical system and he is not Thai.

[Eesat]

Henry, I'm a American Buddhist monk.. when I'm in Thailand, I'm called Phra Farang. At the moment, I'm living in a Thai Buddhist temple in Phoenix, Arizona. Guess what the Thai people call me when they come to the temple? you got it. Phra Farang. in my own country no less.

Good point. Phra is a title of respect accorded to monks and a Thai would not use farang following it if it were to imply any disrespect.

No,his name is Frank!

[Bikkii]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

I thought that 'Khun' was a polite preposition,like Mr,Mrs,Miss etc.?

You are right. 'Khun' is used by Thais to address each other and us. I work in a formal setting here and everyone uses Khun .... or in emails K. ... There is nothing wrong with Khun.

[JohanBKK]

You guys understand nothing... calling thai kwais in their own country for calling you farang it's just stupidity. Most of thai are primitive, they wont learn anything, let them call you what they want, why do you care ?

[GooEng]

It's not unlikely that within the family group Henry is talking about, that others within the family circle of acquaintance are likewise referred to by what might be less than complimentary terms that are not their nickname or given name. I've seen this often amongst groups of thais, with the terms based perhaps based on a distinguishing characteristics - body shape, skin colour, etc... Farang at least is accurate.

Sent using the iPad App.

Edited April 23, 2013 by GooEng

[roamer]

I do not think OP is the only one in same situation. Whatever the reasons are it is not acceptable or excusable in my opinion.

Once i had a gf and had the displeasure of meeting her family who referred to me as "you"

I repeated my name a few times and to make it easier changed to a Thai name, but i was still "you"

"You" stopped to respond when addressed and "you" stopped to help each and every time they needed to borrow money.

"You" also threw out the GF together with entire family few weeks later.

The family very fast learned the full name including Mr, only "you" was not interested any longer.

If any moral to that story for OP, time to move on

Funnily enough, I got a bit fed up being called ' you ' ( ' khun ' ) a while back so I asked the misses what it meant. I explained to her that back home, being addressed as ' you ' was somewhat rude if not plain ignorant. She explained to me that ' khun ' was in fact a very polite way for a Thai person to address you if they didn't know your name. It still grates when I'm addressed as ' khun ' but I now know to take a deep breath and not take insult.

On the same vein, if like Kjelljit I hear someone address me as farang, I tend to reply ' banyar kwai ' in a way that is just loud enough for them to notice...............that's buffalo brain

Let me get this straight. Your knowledge of Thai is such that you have to ask your wife the meaning of Khun and for reasons too deep for me to fathom, have to take a deep breath so as not to take insult when your addressed in that way.

With such a deep understanding of Thai language & culture and customs I'm probably not the only one here thinking that if you go around calling Thai's "buffalo brains" that your going dangerously close to having your attempts at deep breathing managed by a hospital ventilator.

[enyaw]

You guys will always be farangs here, no matter how many years or how much money you give them. I always say "thai people" when i talk about them, just like they do, so i wont feel bad when they call me the farang. I'm a farang and they are the thai people, the thai sister, thai brother, thai mother, thai friend. And i prononce it always bad so they think i'm saying that they are dead...

You will never change them, maybe you can get them to call you by your name when they see you, but they will always refer you as the farang when talking in private. Because for them you are just an income source and because most of the thai people don't have any education. Don't get mad because uneducated thai people call you farang.

Another coping mechanism would be to replace the word farang with "the white dude" and then simpy refer to every one else around you as slant eyes?

[JimMagee]

I agree that after 5 years, they are dissing you big time and you should put your foot down and demand respect. The quickest way is to cut off the money flow until they change.

When I first moved to the village, I insisted that my wife inform the family and friends that I am not to be referred to as "farang". She did, but I was still called farang from time to time. When someone calls me farang instead of my name, I will either ignore them, or say "Pom mai chai farang", which means "I am not farang" or I will say "Pom cheu mai farang, pom cheu ......" which means "My name is not farang, my name is ......"

That has pretty much cured the issue, but I'm still referred to as farang by those who do not know me well, and the village children still forget. But I just ignore them, if they cannot respect me enough to call me by name, I do not need to listen to them.

[CharlieH]

I bet they know the dogs name ..........that should tell you something.

In my early years here I was always referred too as "the husband" samee, after awhile and probably because I made effort to learn a little Thai they used my actual name, but mostly i,m referred to as "na" +name, which means uncle by most of the family.

In the village they refer to me as Lukoy Dao, which means "son in law"Dao ( fathers name)

Atleast thats what I,ve been told it means....lol

Edited April 24, 2013 by CharlieH

[thaicbr]

I bet they know the dogs name ..........that should tell you something.

In my early years here I was always referred too as "the husband" samee, after awhile and probably because I made effort to learn a little Thai they used my actual name, but mostly i,m referred to as "na" +name, which means uncle by most of the family.

In the village they refer to me as Lukoy Dao, which means "son in law"Dao ( fathers name)

Atleast thats what I,ve been told it means....lol

Loong means uncle in Thai . Not sure what na means. Maybe a local dialect version.

Sent from my i-mobile i-STYLE Q6

[doontp]

I bet they know the dogs name ..........that should tell you something.

In my early years here I was always referred too as "the husband" samee, after awhile and probably because I made effort to learn a little Thai they used my actual name, but mostly i,m referred to as "na" +name, which means uncle by most of the family.

In the village they refer to me as Lukoy Dao, which means "son in law"Dao ( fathers name)

Atleast thats what I,ve been told it means....lol

Loong means uncle in Thai . Not sure what na means. Maybe a local dialect version.

Sent from my i-mobile i-STYLE Q6

loong if he is the older brother of your mom/dad,,,,,,,,,,na if he is the younger brother of your mom/dad

[thaicbr]

I bet they know the dogs name ..........that should tell you something.

In my early years here I was always referred too as "the husband" samee, after awhile and probably because I made effort to learn a little Thai they used my actual name, but mostly i,m referred to as "na" +name, which means uncle by most of the family.

In the village they refer to me as Lukoy Dao, which means "son in law"Dao ( fathers name)

Atleast thats what I,ve been told it means....lol

Loong means uncle in Thai . Not sure what na means. Maybe a local dialect version.

Sent from my i-mobile i-STYLE Q6

loong if he is the older brother of your mom/dad,,,,,,,,,,na if he is the younger brother of your mom/dad

Ahhh sorted. Ta very much Big D

Sent from my i-mobile i-STYLE Q6

Edited April 24, 2013 by thaicbr

[SteeleJoe]

I will say "Pom cheu mai farang, pom cheu ......" which means "My name is not farang, my name is ......"

Well...almost.

[DRONGOH]

So tell her that your name is Some suck, sorry, Somsak.

Easy to remember, it'a Thai.

[richard_smith237]

my experience is that...

the uneducated Thai's, and Thai people that don't respect or like you, will call you farang

and the educated Thai's, and Thai people that like you and respect you will call you by you name

My experience too...

It's quite evident when someone is attempting to show respect and manners... its also evident when someone doesn't care to show respect or manners...

[Keith67]

Henry, if i were you when your g/f or her family members introduce new family members or new friends to you, forget the wai just hold your hand out for a good old fashioned handshake and say "hi i'm the farang". When your g/f questions why you did that, you have the golden opportunity to explain how she and her family have shown little respect for you for 5 years so why should you make any efforet to show any more respect to them.

If she makes excuses for them or fails to see the problem, your only option "Leave".

He should not "wai" anyway. It's a complex Thai hierarchical system and he is not Thai.

And they should not call him farang after 5 years but they do, the wai is commonly used in all areas by all nationalities not only Thai but usually at the request of a Thai.

So just out of curiosity how should a Thai and a falang greet each other, as if what you say is correct a falang should not wai to a Thai as he/she is not Thai, two falangs meeting for the first time would usually give a handshake but as the Thai is not falang he/she should not use the handshake.

Edited April 24, 2013 by Keith67

[mickjn]

Henry I made a short reply to you earlier but I left out on this.Go home pack your bag tell mum to pack hers to and go.Doesnt matter where,your mistake is you are living 2 blocks from the family,should be 200 klms.Give Mum a few baht to go home now and again not to much she might not come back.It she doesnt it doesnt really matter

[ARISTIDE]

Problem is some farangs can't tell no different between bar girls and average Thai girls

the uneducated Thai's, and Thai people that don't respect or like you, will call you farang

[Pinot]

Why are some people so concerned with being called a farang? I could care less. That's who we are. We are farang. Worry about 10 year olds driving motorbikes.

[transam]

If I go somewhere and it might happen that l will sing ''farang'' songs , folk get on their phones to pass the word around. Most say to their chums, ''Farang Trans is here''. Really is just planting a picture in the recipients head to stay clear. .

[ayayay]

Interesting, this is exactly what I was talking about.

I wrote a popular post about this subject in this thread, check it out -----> http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/594355-accepting-the-farang-status-and-the-implications

Edited April 24, 2013 by ayayay

[SteeleJoe]

Oh, Lordy...Obsession rears it's ugly head again....

Actually, what you talked about, along with a host of untenable claims, was an imaginary place where everyone always acted as the family in the OP do.

Edited April 24, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[ayayay]

Oh, Lordy...Obsession rears it's ugly head again....

Actually, what you talked about, along with a host of untenable claims, was an imaginary place where everyone always acted as the family in the OP do.

Its not my fault you want to stick your head in the sand, and pretend there is no problem with the notion of "Farang".

We see it all the time, everyday, and still you and some others choose to ignore it.

[SteeleJoe]

Its not my fault you want to stick your head in the sand, and pretend there is no problem with the notion of "Farang".

We see it all the time, everyday, and still you and some others choose to ignore it.

That's the other thing you did - distort people's views or even lie about them and put up straw men and knock them down.

By the way, "not your fault"? How does that even make sense? I point out that you make unsupportable claims and you (wisely) don't deny it but post that fallacious non sequitur as a response?

Edited April 24, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[Kilgore Trout]

Why are some people so concerned with being called a farang? I could care less. That's who we are. We are farang. Worry about 10 year olds driving motorbikes.

Nice attitude; I'm sure some would say they wish blacks and hispanics in the US would learn a thing or two from you

[FWIW]

I agree that after 5 years, they are dissing you big time and you should put your foot down and demand respect.

Forgive me for disagreeing, but I have always felt that respect can only be earned, never demanded.

[maxme]

Its not my fault you want to stick your head in the sand, and pretend there is no problem with the notion of "Farang".

We see it all the time, everyday, and still you and some others choose to ignore it.

That's the other thing you did - distort people's views or even lie about them and put up straw men and knock them down.

By the way, "not your fault"? How does that even make sense? I point out that you make unsupportable claims and you (wisely) don't deny it but post that fallacious non sequitur as a response?

So Berkshire DO have two accounts...

[SteeleJoe]

Its not my fault you want to stick your head in the sand, and pretend there is no problem with the notion of "Farang".

We see it all the time, everyday, and still you and some others choose to ignore it.

That's the other thing you did - distort people's views or even lie about them and put up straw men and knock them down.

By the way, "not your fault"? How does that even make sense? I point out that you make unsupportable claims and you (wisely) don't deny it but post that fallacious non sequitur as a response?

So Berkshire DO have two accounts...

<deleted>?

Mods know I am NOT Berkshire or any other account holder beyond this one.

[SamsonSW]

Maybe he thinks paying for everything should buy respect.

Not that I think being called "the farang" within earshot is actually disrespectful either when it's done by people that don't have a clue we might find it so.

More educated Thais are more sensitive to cultural issues like this, country bumpkins will continue on blissfully unaware unless you take it upon yourself to forcefully and repeatedly "educate" them about your preferences.

Otherwise best to just relax and ignore it.