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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on...


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the

computer industry with the auto industry and stated,


"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we

would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."


In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:


If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving

cars with the following characteristics:


1... For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.


2... Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy

a new car.


3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason

whatsoever. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of

the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you

could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.


4... Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause

your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to

reinstall the engine.


5... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,

five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five

percent of the roads.


6... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be

replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning

light.


I love the next one!


7... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.


8... Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and

refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned

the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.


9... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how

to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the

same manner as the old car.


10... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.


PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer

service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language

you can barely understand how to fix your car yourself!
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