Can You Say Parallel Park?

[HeijoshinCool]

For almost three years the GF has watched me execute my one-shot-one-kill parallel parking technique, even into the smallest of fissures. Sometimes this takes place after a local has made repeated attempts, aided by numerous family surrounding the vehicle. Upon giving up, I slip in, and hop out of the car with a grin.

The GF always scowls.

They don’t know how to do, Cool, nobody teaches them.

Last month the DL folks from the big city announced they would visit our little burg, Rhek

Thum, for a single day of driver license testing. My GF barely got her name on a list limited to 100 applicants, including a handful of local cops who’ve never had a license, and so had preference.

So GF asks me to help her practice parallel parking, because it is required in the city where

testing for Nakhon Si Thammarhat province is normally given. After a month of daily workouts, she’s a parallel parking sniper. Fast and accurate, afterward slapping it into park followed by her own grin and a thump on the steering wheel.

Yesterday was the big day. A battalion of city officials sets up at a local wat and things get

started. With a prayer. And khanom gin. With 3 in 1. Everyone gets a free blessing and a free breakfast. Then comes paperwork and written testing accompanied by much chatter, along with neck stretching exercises and over-the-shoulder vision testing. My GF gets 27/30—all on her own, of course. She calls to brag while everyone eats a free lunch.

I say, Way to go, Andretti.

Who is Andretti? Old girlfriend?

That would be Andrea.

Oh.

In the PM it’s the practical test. The big moment has come, and the GF is itching to get behind the wheel. Everyone cruises outside, and there they are; two orange cones with tall flags pointing skyward. The cones sit a good eight meters apart from one another.

Eight meters! No sweat, my GF excitedly whispers into her cell, keeping me abreast of all developments. She gives me a blow-by-blow as the first lucky contestant gets behind the wheel.

Okay, she is backing, backing, back—what? What is she doing?

I dunno, what?

She is backing!

Well, yeah.

No, I mean she is backing into the space between the cones!

Yeah, good.

No! Backing! I mean she is—

The GF’s English is pretty good but when she’s excited she can’t say parallel so this goes on

for a minute until I realize what she is telling me—that the driver is simply backing into the “space,” not parallel parking.

One down, I say.

She is screwed, says the GF.

A minute later the next testee duplicates the maneuver. Then the next. And so on ….

Turns out, there is no parallel parking test. Just need to back into the yawning abyss between two cones and stop before you ram the stupa.

GF is pissed.

We spend a lot of money on gas, practicing!

Hey, no prob, Little Miss Sticky Pockets. It was fun. (Besides, nothing else to do in Rhek Thum

anyway.)

A late afternoon call for an update. She says she hears no parallel parking because they don’t

want anyone to fail.

Everyone must pass, she says.

I say, Really?

Yes! But some run over cones.

Really? At eight meters apart? Wow. Probably because there wasn’t any spastic whistling.

No, I mean, they pass, too! A hundred out of a hundred!

When she arrives at my house at six to show me her fancy new plastic, I say I’m hungry, let’s

celebrate, I’ll buy you dinner.

Ugh, I eat way too much. Food very good! And everything only 200 baht!

Edited May 26, 2013 by HeijoshinCool

[lomatopo]

The going rate to bypass the parallel parking portion for the driving test, which many Thais evidently fail, and are afraid of, is 3,000 baht.

Edited May 26, 2013 by lomatopo

[NanLaew]

It's been noted by others that Thai drivers do not park. They just stop driving.

[arthurwait]

Parallel parking in Thailand means parking your car parallel to another all the way out to the third lane, due to being too lazy to wlak 10-20 metres.

[yourauntbob]

"So GF asks me to help her practice parallel parking, because it is required in the city where

testing for Nakhon Si Thammarhat province is normally given"

testing

[Gsxrnz]

A bar I (um.....occasionally) frequent, has a travel agency next door and the owner routinely tries to parallel park in the shop width outside his business. The record so far witnessed is 19 independent movements to get the car "parallel", although by no means close to the steps. A typical attempt is probably 10 movements - and every 3rd or 4th movement involves him getting out of the car to check, or his wife or kid giving ever confusing directions. I can down two beers in the time it usually takes him. ironically his Mrs is a little better. It's a Yarris - go figure.

I love the parking on Sukhumvit - just nose into half a space and leave the arse end sticking out at virtually a 90 degree angle - with the hazard lights flashing obviously. You can park anywhere with the hazard lights on, especially if you're a bus

[krisb]

Yes but can she pronounce the word parallel park?...

[Thereisnoif]

Get a new girlfriend, if you can afford one .