Attacked by Thai Work colleague

[justben]

It is always better to take here than to give. I know this sounds mean, but look what happens You can go to the police without fear. No reason to fear whatsoever. If you are willing to forgo stuff you erroneously gave to someone who's jealous of you and everything about you while not ever having a shred of respect for you, then that is up to your temperament. I see no reason to ever accept any such behaviour because she decided you're gonna be easy to deal with (stupid whity no do anyting). Prove her wrong and make this situation highly unpleasant for her and make her very known to the police, make some noise. You will be known in all circles and the circles around them that it's best to leave you alone or be your friend. It should be a matter of fact when dealing with management in the school that she should be fired. This is after the police are involved. You think somebody is going to try and push you back down on your seat? Only if you let them

The chances you will be harmed after cops involvement are slim to none. Not only that, but she will be in awe of you because generally I feel that almost all actions taken by Thai vs stupid whity are done in cowardice and some shrouded in weird inferiority and jealousy issues. Your courage is a threat to her and her job.

You find the good people and they'll walk a mile on their heads for you and then never ask for anything. But this is type of clash you are having is more common

I wish you good luck. Be strong and PROUD.

Edited June 16, 2013 by justben

[soundman]

I have removed a couple of highly critical posts referring to language skills, however, I am not going to waste my time going back through the entire topic. Please remember that English is not everyone's first language and refrain from jumping on the bandwagon and getting a boot in. Thanks.

[puukao]

Sorry about the bad experience. This is not easy. Let's say you are American, and this happened in your classroom; easy. I'm guessing you don't want to create an even worse scenario in Thailand, a country you likely love. You don't want to jeopardize your job, one you likely love. You really want this all to end, and have drawn the line on the USB. Lesson learned, and in the future I wouldn't even loan 100 baht to a friend. I just always lie and say i'm super broke. then when i accidentally mention i bought a house in america, well, they might be able to figure it out.....ah, not my problem.

anyhow....i "think" I would have pressed for the cash. For one, to see how the courts or police handle your misfortune. Because, in the future, other stuff might happen. Moreover, I would want to know how my bosses really felt about me getting punched. They say nice things now, but in court it might be different. If it all went bad, I would actually even leave the country to another place that would value my safety more. but who knows....maybe you have a bf there and other things going on....

i am pretty sure thais know they can take and keep other people's property with very little recourse. unfortunately, this episode only helps reinforce that stereotype.

anyhow, just remember to keep upbeat when teaching.

good luck.

Edited June 17, 2013 by puukao

[Tarryn]

Hello all! Hope you are well,

Thank you so much for your encouraging messages and input. You wouldn't believe the prospective you gain to hear other peoples advice and not from a bias point either. We are strangers.

SOOOOO UPDATE!

Well its been a week since the incident took place, what I thought was a "supportive" school faculty turned out to be a "lets try brush this under the carpet" type reaction. So had to take things in my own hands but obviously with tact and the understanding of others....taking advise of not rocking apple carts or ruffling feathers. As I do think in hind sight that would be a bad move on my part...not just for me.

What I have done is gone down the route of documenting things, e.g meetings what has been discussed within the meetings, outcomes from those meetings and also proposals from others to help resolve the issue.

Again it took me to approach and bring up that nothing still has not been done, so I presented a formal letter to say within 48 hours if there is no further progression I have no option but to go ahead with pressing charges. I had previously gained legal advise and have been told my case is strong along with other finer details which is not worth elaborating on.

I signed the letter and gave it to my head.....he took 20 mins to call in T1 for a meeting to present my letter....LONE AND BEHOLD...suddenly out of her bag came a USB...(which apparently she said she did not have!) Again unsurprisingly not all files were there.....some photos had been deleted. Mainly of stuff we had done together.....but whatever! As for the cash....I have told her give me an offering at least a total you can afford. Rather have something than nothing.

This again is "getting resolved" ...we shall see... but as for the majority of the data ...it has been returned, I do however think the missing files will be on her laptop....is it worth chasing??? ill think about it just to be awkward. She has all week been playing games...and head of faculty seem to be regretting a written warning and should have maybe ....suspended her until they knew the ins and out of the situation.

But now they are sat with the knowledge they have now experienced first hand and have to wait for her to slip up again to do anything about it.

In the grand scale of things, no one will gain from a situation like this, yet we can certainly hope to walk away knowing the other person has a lot more to contend with now than I do as she has not only exposed herself for being a not so pleasant person but she has aired all her dirty laundry in the process and is now working amongst people whom don't really respect her. She has tried to play a game which has failed and people can see this, so her dignity has too been tarnished....overall lets just say she has shot herself in the foot with a double barrel.

As for me....well the torment has ended, my possessions are almost fully recovered I have handed in my notice and have plenty of interest in other schools whom offer a better package for me, I am rid of a damaged person, and have learnt a few lessons along the way. Did I get my justice ....Legally no, would I like to take her down.....shes doing a pretty good job of it without my help, so sometimes it best to leave something happen naturally. ........

but there is a small part of me deep inside that would have loved to have watched her squirm in court! hahaha but Im also a bit of a softy.

But I stuck with my guns, I carried out all the necessary paper work and reports to take this legally as a back up, so IF my property was not returned , I could make a call and they could take it out of my hands.....DONT LEAVE ANYONE RESPONSIBLE TO DO THINGS ON YOUR BEHALF...... make sure they are done!!!! follow it up. As if I had left my school to deal with this they certainly wouldnt have.

So no victory......just a plain old settlement. I am happy with that.

AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN MY TOPIC!!! It has helped me a lot, even just the encouraging words from people which gave me a little more to not back down without a fair resolution.

SO CHEERS! ....for now.....you never know whats around the corner! ahahah

[Marcel1]

Good work Tarryn!

very well done to stand up for yourselfe.

We have too many people here who always tell the "leave it and take it as a lesson learned" line.

Maybe that is why Thais are more likely to think we can get screwed over...

[Wavefloater]

Good to hear that something directly positive came from this -- your USB drive being returned.

And I see you've handed in your notice to pursue greener pastures. IMO that's a very good and face-saving action. You've retained your dignity and integrity, whereas your nasty little colleague has lost face terribly.

As for trying to get the files/photos she dumped onto her laptop, only you know how important they are, but they'd have to be extremely important for me to bother trying to get that kind of cooperation from this gal.

Good luck with all the rest.

[TomTao]

Good to see you had a positive outcome through a proactive approach, I hope you get at least some of your money back.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[ozzieovaseas]

Hi OP,

After reading most of your thread im glad to see a (seemingly) good outcome. I dont want to alarm you, but seeing the conclusion, i do have a few points to add.
I am definately no psycological expert when it comes to the whole Thai mentality, but i have spent enough time around Thais to notice that individual (Thai) reactions to different circumstances ARE NOT really as varied as the people we are used to dealing with in our own countries.

By this i mean that many Thais faced with certain choices of a reaction nearly ALWAYS react in the same or similiar ways. Many here on TV may argue that this is a racist call, but i have seen it to many times over (time after time) for it to be coincidental trait by people with a similair personality .

The history behind your relatinship, IF not a sexual one (as others have insinuated) is only known by you, but im sure there is a lot that lead up to this.
I can tell you this, when working alongside Thais in a school environment, many will form an initial attitude of resentment that you are getting paid more than them.Money seems the key and answer of everything here.

They will then often scrutinize everything you do. Any success that comes of you will quickly raise their ire of jealously and it all builds on from there.

I will bet (in this girls mentality) that what happened..(taking your money and belongings) was her getting what was rightfully hers anyway. She probably even believes that you OWE her, because of both the difference in income and in what she probably sees as a gross unfairness in the different ways you are treated in a personal and professional sense. It comes down to jealousy in the end.

By your taking the legal route (although it didnt end up so serious) you never really stood to gain anything anyway..but your own personal satisfaction at "winning".
She may have given the stuff back, but in a case of compensation been awarded to you,im sure this person probably wouldnt have 2 baht to rub together anyway. At the end of the day they cannot FORCE her to pay anything in the same way they do in the west.

(I'd be interested to know if ANY farang has EVER actually received any sum of monetary compensation legally awarded to them from a Thai, but thats another thread idea.)

SO, if i was to make a prediction, i would say this person is now thinking along the lines.."OK, you have won round one, now lets see how you go for the rest of the fight"
A Thai, (especially one like this) NEVER FORGETS..and more so when a farang gets one over them..the humiliation is tenfold worse.
Without a doubt she will be plotting for revenge.

I know it goes against all our "priciples" and NO we shouldnt have to do it and YES, its a very hard pill to swallow, but if i was you..when the dust has settled and you have got most of your stuff back, i would approach this person and try to make a VERY friendly truce.

Even if that means expressing a want to be friends again, (since thats obviously what set the nutter behaviour off in the first place) its worth it to avoid any future paybacks.

It doesnt have to be sincere, and after its done you can avoid her like the plaque. Even if you have to hide your cringe with a smile, you really need to disarm this persons anger or things can seriously escalate in the future.

Remember you are dealing with tiny fragile egos here, and one scorned (especially a Thai woman) will NEVER never forget.

People like this often feel they are a failure within themselves if they dont get revenge for the perceived loss of face...

IMO, by letting them believe that they have won, even just in some small way, is a cheap way of de-fuseing a ticking time bomb

[givenall]

Report to police and demand 40k compensation

Sent from my ST18a using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[robertthebruce]

Glad that you found a resolution, and glad that you can move on.

i always think there will be better things round the corner,

think positive, and all will be fine..

all the best

Cheers

Robert