Breaking Up in Thailand

[Cambodger]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Very interesting. At the moment I share many of your points of view.

"Unsurprisingly it was all my fault."

Care to elaborate on this?

Its the old face saving bullshit which basically equates to if you catch them telling lies and you confront them with it, then they will blame you. No logic required.

[iancnx]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Get yer crash helmet on buddy..... I sense 'incoming' for the 99% assumption

Well 1% does leave around 600,000 of them and i have met one decent Thai in 3 years...

Sorry to be pedantic but you said :

i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

That you have met .........

[Cambodger]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Get yer crash helmet on buddy..... I sense 'incoming' for the 99% assumption

Well 1% does leave around 600,000 of them and i have met one decent Thai in 3 years...

Sorry to be pedantic but you said :

i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

That you have met .........

its just my opinion.

[boosta]

Its the old face saving bullshit which basically equates to if you catch them telling lies and you confront them with it, then they will blame you. No logic required.

-

I think more like people who don't want to take responsibility for their lives will always blame outside forces and other people for their problems.

[boosta]

its just my opinion.

-

No the point was you should find ways to improve the quality of the Thais you meet and stop overgeneralizing as if that select group was representative of the whole population.

Higher proportions of the type you describe congregate in farang-infested areas. Get out of those places, learn Thai well enough and most importantly improve your attitudes towards them and you'll meet an entirely different set of very wonderful people.

Edited June 20, 2013 by boosta

[Cambodger]

its just my opinion.

-

No the point was you should find ways to improve the quality of the Thais you meet and stop overgeneralizing as if that select group was representative of the whole population.

Higher proportions of the type you describe congregate in farang-infested areas. Get out of those places, learn Thai well enough and most importantly improve your attitudes towards them and you'll meet an entirely different set of very wonderful people.

I've mingled with with Thais from all backgrounds, maybe not hi-so but certainly educated ones and have always treated them with respect, as i do most people i meet regardless of nationality or class.

The cultural traits in the middle class are still the same, the packaging may be different but underneath it all and behind the smiles they're nearly all as selfish and self centered as each other.

I wouldn't take the risk of introducing one into my family, but like i said thats just my opinion from a fairly limited experience of Thais, I'm certainly not as seasoned as some of the veterans on here, so maybe my opinion isn't worth that much.

But after 3 years i'll trust my own judgment with what i've known and seen with my own eyes.

We live and learn.

[boosta]

A wise man said:

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought; it is founded on our thoughts; it is made up of our thoughts. A man’s life is the direct result of his thoughts… We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world."

[stickylies]

Higher proportions of the type you describe congregate in farang-infested areas. Get out of those places, learn Thai well enough and most importantly improve your attitudes towards them and you'll meet an entirely different set of very wonderful people.

Agreed in full.

I have a really great time here surrounded by really great Thai people (no farang) but then I do not engage in love-relationships (girlfriends, fiancés, wifes, mia-nois, keeks, whatever) with Thai women. They would never "get me" (as in "understand") and vice-versa.

[Cambodger]

Its the old face saving bullshit which basically equates to if you catch them telling lies and you confront them with it, then they will blame you. No logic required.

-

I think more like people who don't want to take responsibility for their lives will always blame outside forces and other people for their problems.

Its just mental immaturity, I'm not immune to it myself but this is on another level.

[RBOP]

A friend of mine dated a Thai girl for a couple years. When he wanted to break up she freaked out too. It cost him 100,000 Baht cash for her to be satisfied with the break up. So you may consider giving her a break up settlement.

[Cambodger]

Higher proportions of the type you describe congregate in farang-infested areas. Get out of those places, learn Thai well enough and most importantly improve your attitudes towards them and you'll meet an entirely different set of very wonderful people.

Agreed in full.

I have a really great time here surrounded by really great Thai people (no farang) but then I do not engage in love-relationships (girlfriends, fiancés, wifes, mia-nois, keeks, whatever) with Thai women. They would never "get me" (as in "understand") and vice-versa.

At my age and with my options in life moving into some backwater Thai area and learning Thai is not a option i'd be willing to consider.

I didnt come to Thailand to meet thai girls or make a new life and i didnt meet her in a farang tourist area.

[boosta]

I didnt come to Thailand to meet thai girls or make a new life and i didnt meet her in a farang tourist area.

-

I don't think anyone's talking about any one comment (I have no idea what "her" you're talking about), just your overall view of Thai people reflecting a very limited set of experiences.

Maybe if you qualified the negatives a bit they would be less offensive.

[Cambodger]

I didnt come to Thailand to meet thai girls or make a new life and i didnt meet her in a farang tourist area.

-

I don't think anyone's talking about any one comment (I have no idea what "her" you're talking about), just your overall view of Thai people reflecting a very limited set of experiences.

Maybe if you qualified the negatives a bit they would be less offensive.

well the comment you chose to reply to was a direct reply to my previous comment about a specific girl and my personal experiences...

maybe you should follow the conversation before you jump in with both feet

[SCARLETIBIS1]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Very well put. Like I said in my earlier post I got dumped for a guy who bought my gf a new Fino one week after he met. So much for true love. At least I know exactly what I am worth to a typical Thai chic-58000 baht unless you add extras. But she came back after he dumped her. I felt sorry for the girl who all the while kept in contact with the guy who 3 years later married her. Of course he also gave her family 250k baht and she got 200k baht plus some additonal envelopes of good will thrown around.

My latest gf lasted 6 months. Her Thai bf beat the crap out of her so she called me. I knew her only as an acquaintance at a coffee shop for maybe 3 months or so. I gave her my phone number if she ever got interested. So I get the call out of the blue and I help her out by letting her stay with me for two days with the intention of sending her home on a bus. I told her I was taking a long bike trip around the Thai coast and she could either come with me to Satun and then I would send her home on a bus or plane ticket as I was meeting my brother in Viet Nam or I would take her home on the bike to Sisaket. She opted to go with me. The day before we were to leave she goes ballistic on me and says I am going to dump her when we get to Satun.

I had fully explained the deal upfront and she had choices and made the decision to go with me along the coast and go home from there. Now, she is pissed at me for some reason and only after being with her for a week or so. So now I tell her that I think it is not a good idea for her to go with me so she packs her one bag and stomps out of my apartment. Five mintues later she calls me crying she has nowhere to go. haha. But I decide to give it up and take her to a hotel and gave her 2k and wished her well.

I go on my trip but I miss her so two months later I call her and we get together again. One week after being back she wants to move in with me. I said ok but to keep her apartment which I am paying for. Well, she wound up staying for two months as was as sweet as could be to me.

Six months later she says she may need breast surgery so we go the hospital at my suggestion to get checked out. We wait an hour and a half. (Thais make appointments for everyone for the same time. Stupidity is the norm here. Then it is first come first served). So 5 minutes later she comes out and says let's go home. I say <deleted> is going on. Why no xray? She gets pissed at me for asking. She says they said to come back in a week for an xray which makes no sense whatsoever. So we go home and the discussion continues as I am in a total quandry <deleted> is going on. I just want some answers. BTW, she walked to the counter to pay and I stayed in the foyer. So she yells at me to come pay the bill. I would have paid it or paid her back when we got home. So now she is getting upset that I am upset about what is going on.

And let me backtrack a little bit here as well. This girl was a sex machine. She loved it. Sounds great but at my age I was beginning to make excuses not to be home. But another thing is she worked at a restaurant and got home at midnite. Most of the time I was asleep. She would get pissed if I didn't wake up and pay attention to her. I would have to tell her that no worries since you live here now go to sleep and I'll do you in the morning.

Time after time when I wanted to go play golf or something she wound up on my lap trying to get me not to go.

Ok, so now I finally decide that enough is enough and I suggest that we need to straighten al this out once and for all. But now she goes ballistic on me again and again packs up her stuff and says she is going to leave me and go live with a friend in Pattaya. I am at my desk in another room and I am waiting for her to leave. Finally, I went in to the bedroom and said to her, "I thought you were leaving"? Her reply, "I decided I am not leaving". LOL I said to her she had to leave and she said no way was she leaving. I said, you said you wanted to leave and you packed to leave and you have to leave. Her response was if you make me leave I will kill myself. This got my attention. I had just bought new silk sheets and I think blood is difficult to remove from silk.

I asked her is she could please do it in the bathtub. But later I found out she HAD slit her wrists over her last bf so I freaked out. Well, I told her she could stay. The next morning we went to breakfast and I left her there along with some money. I said it was over. Threats like that do not make for a good relationship.

Two days later she sent me text after text. One was that she was gonna move in with her old bf (an Englishman) who was gonna send her to school. Later she texted me she didn't mean it that she didn't love him so she wouldn't be moving in with him but she was going to become a bar girl if I didn't let her come back.

This girl I think is like so many others here in Thailand. Once they get a taste of the money or being taken care of financially they get spoiled and expectant. They are jealous to a fault. And when they do not get their way they threaten you with what they think will hurt or bother you.

I imagine it is possible that at one time in it's history the Thai girls were genuinly sweet, virginal, majestic angels and that perhaps the Westerners flucked them over so bad that they were forced to become the pitiful, disgusting vamps that they now are but at the end of the day with all the women in the world I have been fortunate enough to dip my wick in without paying it was those sweet angels who let me do it so not sure we are to blame. Aside from what we nihilistic hunks think, women make all the sexual decisions so I say let them go when they become a pest but watch your back.

Edited June 20, 2013 by SCARLETIBIS1

[stickylies]

At my age and with my options in life moving into some backwater Thai area and learning Thai is not a option i'd be willing to consider.

I didnt come to Thailand to meet thai girls or make a new life and i didnt meet her in a farang tourist area.

no worries. i understand. been here since my mid'30s myself but never felt attracted to the "action".

[Cambodger]

At my age and with my options in life moving into some backwater Thai area and learning Thai is not a option i'd be willing to consider.

I didnt come to Thailand to meet thai girls or make a new life and i didnt meet her in a farang tourist area.

no worries. i understand. been here since my mid'30s myself but never felt attracted to the "action".

Thats probably why you have garnered some real respect and still in sane state of mind.

[Cambodger]

maybe you should follow the conversation before you jump in with both feet

-

Post something interesting and I promise I'll read it more closely.

But I can't guarantee I'll still remember it - or associate it with your ID here - after more than 90 seconds, I'm a bit handicapped that way.

i'd already gathered that you might be a bit challenged. If its not interesting to you move on. Good day.

[Cambodger]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Very well put. Like I said in my earlier post I got dumped for a guy who bought my gf a new Fino one week after he met. So much for true love. At least I know exactly what I am worth to a typical Thai chic-58000 baht unless you add extras. But she came back after he dumped her. I felt sorry for the girl who all the while kept in contact with the guy who 3 years later married her. Of course he also gave her family 250k baht and she got 200k baht plus some additonal envelopes of good will thrown around.

My latest gf lasted 6 months. Her Thai bf beat the crap out of her so she called me. I knew her only as an acquaintance at a coffee shop for maybe 3 months or so. I gave her my phone number if she ever got interested. So I get the call out of the blue and I help her out by letting her stay with me for two days with the intention of sending her home on a bus. I told her I was taking a long bike trip around the Thai coast and she could either come with me to Satun and then I would send her home on a bus or plane ticket as I was meeting my brother in Viet Nam or I would take her home on the bike to Sisaket. She opted to go with me. The day before we were to leave she goes ballistic on me and says I am going to dump her when we get to Satun.

I had fully explained the deal upfront and she had choices and made the decision to go with me along the coast and go home from there. Now, she is pissed at me for some reason and only after being with her for a week or so. So now I tell her that I think it is not a good idea for her to go with me so she packs her one bag and stomps out of my apartment. Five mintues later she calls me crying she has nowhere to go. haha. But I decide to give it up and take her to a hotel and gave her 2k and wished her well.

I go on my trip but I miss her so two months later I call her and we get together again. One week after being back she wants to move in with me. I said ok but to keep her apartment which I am paying for. Well, she wound up staying for two months as was as sweet as could be to me.

Six months later she says she may need breast surgery so we go the hospital at my suggestion to get checked out. We wait an hour and a half. (Thais make appointments for everyone for the same time. Stupidity is the norm here. Then it is first come first served). So 5 minutes later she comes out and says let's go home. I say <deleted> is going on. Why no xray? She gets pissed at me for asking. She says they said to come back in a week for an xray which makes no sense whatsoever. So we go home and the discussion continues as I am in a total quandry <deleted> is going on. I just want some answers. BTW, she walked to the counter to pay and I stayed in the foyer. So she yells at me to come pay the bill. I would have paid it or paid her back when we got home. So now she is getting upset that I am upset about what is going on.

And let me backtrack a little bit here as well. This girl was a sex machine. She loved it. Sounds great but at my age I was beginning to make excuses not to be home. But another thing is she worked at a restaurant and got home at midnite. Most of the time I was asleep. She would get pissed if I didn't wake up and pay attention to her. I would have to tell her that no worries since you live here now go to sleep and I'll do you in the morning.

Time after time when I wanted to go play golf or something she wound up on my lap trying to get me not to go.

Ok, so now I finally decide that enough is enough and I suggest that we need to straighten al this out once and for all. But now she goes ballistic on me again and again packs up her stuff and says she is going to leave me and go live with a friend in Pattaya. I am at my desk in another room and I am waiting for her to leave. Finally, I went in to the bedroom and said to her, "I thought you were leaving"? Her reply, "I decided I am not leaving". LOL I said to her she had to leave and she said no way was she leaving. I said, you said you wanted to leave and you packed to leave and you have to leave. Her response was if you make me leave I will kill myself. This got my attention. I had just bought new silk sheets and I think blood is difficult to remove from silk.

I asked her is she could please do it in the bathtub. But later I found out she HAD slit her wrists over her last bf so I freaked out. Well, I told her she could stay. The next morning we went to breakfast and I left her there along with some money. I said it was over. Threats like that do not make for a good relationship.

Two days later she sent me text after text. One was that she was gonna move in with her old bf (an Englishman) who was gonna send her to school. Later she texted me she didn't mean it that she didn't love him so she wouldn't be moving in with him but she was going to become a bar girl if I didn't let her come back.

This girl I think is like so many others here in Thailand. Once they get a taste of the money or being taken care of financially they get spoiled and expectant. They are jealous to a fault. And when they do not get their way they threaten you with what they think will hurt or bother you.

I imagine it is possible that at one time in it's history the Thai girls were genuinly sweet, virginal, majestic angels and that perhaps the Westerners flucked them over so bad that they were forced to become the pitiful, disgusting vamps that they now are but at the end of the day with all the women in the world I have been fortunate enough to dip my wick in without paying it was those sweet angels who let me do it so not sure we are to blame. Aside from what we nihilistic hunks think, women make all the sexual decisions so I say let them go when they become a pest but watch your back.

You might be better looking outside Thailand and south east asia for that matter..

Relationships aren't all about looks and if they are you'll probably end up getting stung.

Personally i dont think most thai girls are as sexy looking with there clothes off as they are with them on.

Seen one seen them all, could never say that about western women.

[chris2155]

don't want to get into the domestic of what is right or wrong,

I look for what is right for me.

why because i need to take care of me.

I am first in this world.

and that is exactly what she is doing.

she is trying to take care of herself.

so do the same.

have a nice flight.

[stickylies]

no worries. i understand. been here since my mid'30s myself but never felt attracted to the "action".

Thats probably why you have garnered some real respect and still in sane state of mind.

cheers. the sane mind i'm not too sure about that as i came here after 15 years of non-stop heavy action in my native country.

[SCARLETIBIS1]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Very well put. Like I said in my earlier post I got dumped for a guy who bought my gf a new Fino one week after he met. So much for true love. At least I know exactly what I am worth to a typical Thai chic-58000 baht unless you add extras. But she came back after he dumped her. I felt sorry for the girl who all the while kept in contact with the guy who 3 years later married her. Of course he also gave her family 250k baht and she got 200k baht plus some additonal envelopes of good will thrown around.

My latest gf lasted 6 months. Her Thai bf beat the crap out of her so she called me. I knew her only as an acquaintance at a coffee shop for maybe 3 months or so. I gave her my phone number if she ever got interested. So I get the call out of the blue and I help her out by letting her stay with me for two days with the intention of sending her home on a bus. I told her I was taking a long bike trip around the Thai coast and she could either come with me to Satun and then I would send her home on a bus or plane ticket as I was meeting my brother in Viet Nam or I would take her home on the bike to Sisaket. She opted to go with me. The day before we were to leave she goes ballistic on me and says I am going to dump her when we get to Satun.

I had fully explained the deal upfront and she had choices and made the decision to go with me along the coast and go home from there. Now, she is pissed at me for some reason and only after being with her for a week or so. So now I tell her that I think it is not a good idea for her to go with me so she packs her one bag and stomps out of my apartment. Five mintues later she calls me crying she has nowhere to go. haha. But I decide to give it up and take her to a hotel and gave her 2k and wished her well.

I go on my trip but I miss her so two months later I call her and we get together again. One week after being back she wants to move in with me. I said ok but to keep her apartment which I am paying for. Well, she wound up staying for two months as was as sweet as could be to me.

Six months later she says she may need breast surgery so we go the hospital at my suggestion to get checked out. We wait an hour and a half. (Thais make appointments for everyone for the same time. Stupidity is the norm here. Then it is first come first served). So 5 minutes later she comes out and says let's go home. I say <deleted> is going on. Why no xray? She gets pissed at me for asking. She says they said to come back in a week for an xray which makes no sense whatsoever. So we go home and the discussion continues as I am in a total quandry <deleted> is going on. I just want some answers. BTW, she walked to the counter to pay and I stayed in the foyer. So she yells at me to come pay the bill. I would have paid it or paid her back when we got home. So now she is getting upset that I am upset about what is going on.

And let me backtrack a little bit here as well. This girl was a sex machine. She loved it. Sounds great but at my age I was beginning to make excuses not to be home. But another thing is she worked at a restaurant and got home at midnite. Most of the time I was asleep. She would get pissed if I didn't wake up and pay attention to her. I would have to tell her that no worries since you live here now go to sleep and I'll do you in the morning.

Time after time when I wanted to go play golf or something she wound up on my lap trying to get me not to go.

Ok, so now I finally decide that enough is enough and I suggest that we need to straighten al this out once and for all. But now she goes ballistic on me again and again packs up her stuff and says she is going to leave me and go live with a friend in Pattaya. I am at my desk in another room and I am waiting for her to leave. Finally, I went in to the bedroom and said to her, "I thought you were leaving"? Her reply, "I decided I am not leaving". LOL I said to her she had to leave and she said no way was she leaving. I said, you said you wanted to leave and you packed to leave and you have to leave. Her response was if you make me leave I will kill myself. This got my attention. I had just bought new silk sheets and I think blood is difficult to remove from silk.

I asked her is she could please do it in the bathtub. But later I found out she HAD slit her wrists over her last bf so I freaked out. Well, I told her she could stay. The next morning we went to breakfast and I left her there along with some money. I said it was over. Threats like that do not make for a good relationship.

Two days later she sent me text after text. One was that she was gonna move in with her old bf (an Englishman) who was gonna send her to school. Later she texted me she didn't mean it that she didn't love him so she wouldn't be moving in with him but she was going to become a bar girl if I didn't let her come back.

This girl I think is like so many others here in Thailand. Once they get a taste of the money or being taken care of financially they get spoiled and expectant. They are jealous to a fault. And when they do not get their way they threaten you with what they think will hurt or bother you.

I imagine it is possible that at one time in it's history the Thai girls were genuinly sweet, virginal, majestic angels and that perhaps the Westerners flucked them over so bad that they were forced to become the pitiful, disgusting vamps that they now are but at the end of the day with all the women in the world I have been fortunate enough to dip my wick in without paying it was those sweet angels who let me do it so not sure we are to blame. Aside from what we nihilistic hunks think, women make all the sexual decisions so I say let them go when they become a pest but watch your back.

You might be better looking outside Thailand and south east asia for that matter..

Relationships aren't all about looks and if they are you'll probably end up getting stung.

Personally i dont think most thai girls are as sexy looking with there clothes off as they are with them on.

Seen one seen them all, could never say that about western women.

You may not have read my first post. I would say 95% or more of all the Thai women are quite less than even what I would accept as average in looks. And I never said relationships were about looks. Quite the contrary which is all the more reason since it is almost impossible to have an infanitle conversation with these girls what is left?? And that isn't all their fault either just the reality.

I've said it before, Thailand is an illusion which after a while even according to TV I think I read 90% of all farongs go home after 3 years because the "illusion" becomes the delusion. Of course that still leaves a whole lot of scum farongs here which for some reason Thailand caters to like a bee to a flower.

[BahBahBoBo]

After three month you owe her marry.

After six month you owe her everything in bank and car motorbike too (for brother)

You need apologise for lie about 'love you forever longtime'

You need apologise for not realise boy on top her in bed just 'brother' and they just 'play game'

You need apologise for not realise; "Thai lady NEVER lie... just sometime not say true"

[bkksiam]

watch out for scenarios like this one

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57583698-71/man-cant-stop-ex-from-stalking-him-online-after-years/

[BahBahBoBo]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Very well put. Like I said in my earlier post I got dumped for a guy who bought my gf a new Fino one week after he met. So much for true love. At least I know exactly what I am worth to a typical Thai chic-58000 baht unless you add extras. But she came back after he dumped her. I felt sorry for the girl who all the while kept in contact with the guy who 3 years later married her. Of course he also gave her family 250k baht and she got 200k baht plus some additonal envelopes of good will thrown around.

My latest gf lasted 6 months. Her Thai bf beat the crap out of her so she called me. I knew her only as an acquaintance at a coffee shop for maybe 3 months or so. I gave her my phone number if she ever got interested. So I get the call out of the blue and I help her out by letting her stay with me for two days with the intention of sending her home on a bus. I told her I was taking a long bike trip around the Thai coast and she could either come with me to Satun and then I would send her home on a bus or plane ticket as I was meeting my brother in Viet Nam or I would take her home on the bike to Sisaket. She opted to go with me. The day before we were to leave she goes ballistic on me and says I am going to dump her when we get to Satun.

I had fully explained the deal upfront and she had choices and made the decision to go with me along the coast and go home from there. Now, she is pissed at me for some reason and only after being with her for a week or so. So now I tell her that I think it is not a good idea for her to go with me so she packs her one bag and stomps out of my apartment. Five mintues later she calls me crying she has nowhere to go. haha. But I decide to give it up and take her to a hotel and gave her 2k and wished her well.

I go on my trip but I miss her so two months later I call her and we get together again. One week after being back she wants to move in with me. I said ok but to keep her apartment which I am paying for. Well, she wound up staying for two months as was as sweet as could be to me.

Six months later she says she may need breast surgery so we go the hospital at my suggestion to get checked out. We wait an hour and a half. (Thais make appointments for everyone for the same time. Stupidity is the norm here. Then it is first come first served). So 5 minutes later she comes out and says let's go home. I say <deleted> is going on. Why no xray? She gets pissed at me for asking. She says they said to come back in a week for an xray which makes no sense whatsoever. So we go home and the discussion continues as I am in a total quandry <deleted> is going on. I just want some answers. BTW, she walked to the counter to pay and I stayed in the foyer. So she yells at me to come pay the bill. I would have paid it or paid her back when we got home. So now she is getting upset that I am upset about what is going on.

And let me backtrack a little bit here as well. This girl was a sex machine. She loved it. Sounds great but at my age I was beginning to make excuses not to be home. But another thing is she worked at a restaurant and got home at midnite. Most of the time I was asleep. She would get pissed if I didn't wake up and pay attention to her. I would have to tell her that no worries since you live here now go to sleep and I'll do you in the morning.

Time after time when I wanted to go play golf or something she wound up on my lap trying to get me not to go.

Ok, so now I finally decide that enough is enough and I suggest that we need to straighten al this out once and for all. But now she goes ballistic on me again and again packs up her stuff and says she is going to leave me and go live with a friend in Pattaya. I am at my desk in another room and I am waiting for her to leave. Finally, I went in to the bedroom and said to her, "I thought you were leaving"? Her reply, "I decided I am not leaving". LOL I said to her she had to leave and she said no way was she leaving. I said, you said you wanted to leave and you packed to leave and you have to leave. Her response was if you make me leave I will kill myself. This got my attention. I had just bought new silk sheets and I think blood is difficult to remove from silk.

I asked her is she could please do it in the bathtub. But later I found out she HAD slit her wrists over her last bf so I freaked out. Well, I told her she could stay. The next morning we went to breakfast and I left her there along with some money. I said it was over. Threats like that do not make for a good relationship.

Two days later she sent me text after text. One was that she was gonna move in with her old bf (an Englishman) who was gonna send her to school. Later she texted me she didn't mean it that she didn't love him so she wouldn't be moving in with him but she was going to become a bar girl if I didn't let her come back.

This girl I think is like so many others here in Thailand. Once they get a taste of the money or being taken care of financially they get spoiled and expectant. They are jealous to a fault. And when they do not get their way they threaten you with what they think will hurt or bother you.

I imagine it is possible that at one time in it's history the Thai girls were genuinly sweet, virginal, majestic angels and that perhaps the Westerners flucked them over so bad that they were forced to become the pitiful, disgusting vamps that they now are but at the end of the day with all the women in the world I have been fortunate enough to dip my wick in without paying it was those sweet angels who let me do it so not sure we are to blame. Aside from what we nihilistic hunks think, women make all the sexual decisions so I say let them go when they become a pest but watch your back.

You might be better looking outside Thailand and south east asia for that matter..

Relationships aren't all about looks and if they are you'll probably end up getting stung.

Personally i dont think most thai girls are as sexy looking with there clothes off as they are with them on.

Seen one seen them all, could never say that about western women.

You may not have read my first post. I would say 95% or more of all the Thai women are quite less than even what I would accept as average in looks. And I never said relationships were about looks. Quite the contrary which is all the more reason since it is almost impossible to have an infanitle conversation with these girls what is left?? And that isn't all their fault either just the reality.

I've said it before, Thailand is an illusion which after a while even according to TV I think I read 90% of all farongs go home after 3 years because the "illusion" becomes the delusion. Of course that still leaves a whole lot of scum farongs here which for some reason Thailand caters to like a bee to a flower.

I love Thai girls, they just so F*&^%n CRAZY!!!! I love CRAZY!!!!!!!! If I win super lottery my dream to buy old VW beetle sportcar and big old hospital and open Hospital BahBahBoBo and I be 'Doctor the head' and I spend the rest my life help these poor wilted flowers :D

[stickylies]

I love Thai girls, they just so F*&^%n CRAZY!!!! I love CRAZY!!!!!!!! If I win super lottery my dream to buy old VW beetle sportcar and big old hospital and open Hospital BahBahBoBo and I be 'Doctor the head' and I spend the rest my life help these poor wilted flowers

you seem more the kinda guy who loses all his money in 6 months. no offense Sir BahBahBoBo!

[Cambodger]

I've recently just come out of a 3 year relationship with a thai girl, 28yrs old office worker lower middle class and a real stunner. I don't think i'd ever entertain doing it again.

I never married or got engaged to her, i wanted to, but there were just too many red flags popping along the way for me to take the plunge.

I'm 36 by the way and never had a problem attracting hot women in the west so i wasn't really operating out of my league and with lots of disposable income to burn.

She could have had it all from me visa, marriage into a fairly affluent western family, everything she said that she wanted in life, but she couldn't hold it together for more than 6 months. Unsurprisingly it was all my fault.

After stepping back from the situation and accessing the last 3 years its been one compromise after the other with her. trying to pass off lies and lack of respect as culture is just making excuses for them.

I dont just mean her, i'd say 99% of Thais from all backgrounds that I've met are selfish, self centered people with very little to offer a reasonably smart educated westerner in friendship or in relationships.

Personally i would chose a average looking western women over a hot Thai any day.

Very well put. Like I said in my earlier post I got dumped for a guy who bought my gf a new Fino one week after he met. So much for true love. At least I know exactly what I am worth to a typical Thai chic-58000 baht unless you add extras. But she came back after he dumped her. I felt sorry for the girl who all the while kept in contact with the guy who 3 years later married her. Of course he also gave her family 250k baht and she got 200k baht plus some additonal envelopes of good will thrown around.

My latest gf lasted 6 months. Her Thai bf beat the crap out of her so she called me. I knew her only as an acquaintance at a coffee shop for maybe 3 months or so. I gave her my phone number if she ever got interested. So I get the call out of the blue and I help her out by letting her stay with me for two days with the intention of sending her home on a bus. I told her I was taking a long bike trip around the Thai coast and she could either come with me to Satun and then I would send her home on a bus or plane ticket as I was meeting my brother in Viet Nam or I would take her home on the bike to Sisaket. She opted to go with me. The day before we were to leave she goes ballistic on me and says I am going to dump her when we get to Satun.

I had fully explained the deal upfront and she had choices and made the decision to go with me along the coast and go home from there. Now, she is pissed at me for some reason and only after being with her for a week or so. So now I tell her that I think it is not a good idea for her to go with me so she packs her one bag and stomps out of my apartment. Five mintues later she calls me crying she has nowhere to go. haha. But I decide to give it up and take her to a hotel and gave her 2k and wished her well.

I go on my trip but I miss her so two months later I call her and we get together again. One week after being back she wants to move in with me. I said ok but to keep her apartment which I am paying for. Well, she wound up staying for two months as was as sweet as could be to me.

Six months later she says she may need breast surgery so we go the hospital at my suggestion to get checked out. We wait an hour and a half. (Thais make appointments for everyone for the same time. Stupidity is the norm here. Then it is first come first served). So 5 minutes later she comes out and says let's go home. I say <deleted> is going on. Why no xray? She gets pissed at me for asking. She says they said to come back in a week for an xray which makes no sense whatsoever. So we go home and the discussion continues as I am in a total quandry <deleted> is going on. I just want some answers. BTW, she walked to the counter to pay and I stayed in the foyer. So she yells at me to come pay the bill. I would have paid it or paid her back when we got home. So now she is getting upset that I am upset about what is going on.

And let me backtrack a little bit here as well. This girl was a sex machine. She loved it. Sounds great but at my age I was beginning to make excuses not to be home. But another thing is she worked at a restaurant and got home at midnite. Most of the time I was asleep. She would get pissed if I didn't wake up and pay attention to her. I would have to tell her that no worries since you live here now go to sleep and I'll do you in the morning.

Time after time when I wanted to go play golf or something she wound up on my lap trying to get me not to go.

Ok, so now I finally decide that enough is enough and I suggest that we need to straighten al this out once and for all. But now she goes ballistic on me again and again packs up her stuff and says she is going to leave me and go live with a friend in Pattaya. I am at my desk in another room and I am waiting for her to leave. Finally, I went in to the bedroom and said to her, "I thought you were leaving"? Her reply, "I decided I am not leaving". LOL I said to her she had to leave and she said no way was she leaving. I said, you said you wanted to leave and you packed to leave and you have to leave. Her response was if you make me leave I will kill myself. This got my attention. I had just bought new silk sheets and I think blood is difficult to remove from silk.

I asked her is she could please do it in the bathtub. But later I found out she HAD slit her wrists over her last bf so I freaked out. Well, I told her she could stay. The next morning we went to breakfast and I left her there along with some money. I said it was over. Threats like that do not make for a good relationship.

Two days later she sent me text after text. One was that she was gonna move in with her old bf (an Englishman) who was gonna send her to school. Later she texted me she didn't mean it that she didn't love him so she wouldn't be moving in with him but she was going to become a bar girl if I didn't let her come back.

This girl I think is like so many others here in Thailand. Once they get a taste of the money or being taken care of financially they get spoiled and expectant. They are jealous to a fault. And when they do not get their way they threaten you with what they think will hurt or bother you.

I imagine it is possible that at one time in it's history the Thai girls were genuinly sweet, virginal, majestic angels and that perhaps the Westerners flucked them over so bad that they were forced to become the pitiful, disgusting vamps that they now are but at the end of the day with all the women in the world I have been fortunate enough to dip my wick in without paying it was those sweet angels who let me do it so not sure we are to blame. Aside from what we nihilistic hunks think, women make all the sexual decisions so I say let them go when they become a pest but watch your back.

You might be better looking outside Thailand and south east asia for that matter..

Relationships aren't all about looks and if they are you'll probably end up getting stung.

Personally i dont think most thai girls are as sexy looking with there clothes off as they are with them on.

Seen one seen them all, could never say that about western women.

You may not have read my first post. I would say 95% or more of all the Thai women are quite less than even what I would accept as average in looks. And I never said relationships were about looks. Quite the contrary which is all the more reason since it is almost impossible to have an infanitle conversation with these girls what is left?? And that isn't all their fault either just the reality.

I've said it before, Thailand is an illusion which after a while even according to TV I think I read 90% of all farongs go home after 3 years because the "illusion" becomes the delusion. Of course that still leaves a whole lot of scum farongs here which for some reason Thailand caters to like a bee to a flower.

Sorry about that, i do agree with everything you say. I think i was giving that advice to myself....

[Ulic]

Women's secret weapon, tears.

[boosta]

watch out for scenarios like this one

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57583698-71/man-cant-stop-ex-from-stalking-him-online-after-years/

-

Wow those Malaysians sure make TGs look like amateurs!

[benalibina]

watch out for scenarios like this onehttp://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57583698-71/man-cant-stop-ex-from-stalking-him-online-after-years/

-Wow those Malaysians sure make TGs look like amateurs!

She is computerliterate, has time, money and most of all; She has got an aim in life ! Till now it proves to be succesfull. Its a shambles !

[GooEng]

Well no matter what Tom, you sure have concentrated some minds, even if some of them are ever so slightly warped. So what's the verdict, and can I have the 'rights' for the Thai Movie ? Please ?

After note. The movie would encompass all of the above..... The OP would be thread running through it all. Oh.... And you would live happily ever after in my script.

Verdict is I'm going to be honest about the possibility of my departure, but not tell her I'm 99% sure of it. Moreover, I'll stress to her that we can try and make it work. It seems the most reasonable course to take. And as I mentioned, even if she's not actively dating other guys, I don't think she'll stop entertaining the attention that comes her way on a regular basis. Point being, for those inclined to accuse me of wasting her time, I think she's well in control of keeping her options open.

Ok, I'm confused....

See, the majority of advice on the thread has been of a piss or get off the pot nature - either get out of the relationship now, or man-up and either plan to take her to the states or stay with her in Thailand. Yet the OP appears to have decided to string her along for another year and still probably go back to the states alone. In doing so he will not only be lying to the girl for the next year, but will face a by-that-time entirely righteously angry, disappointed and hurt woman and a potentially far more explosive situation than he now faces.

What gives OP?