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Farang women + Thai Karen man?

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Hey ladies, I'm somewhat new to the forum. Have used this site for the plethora of information since last October when I started dating a Thai guy in Chiang Mai province...

My bf is Thai/Karen, I'm wondering if anyone has experience dating KAREN men? From what I've read, the culture is slightly different than Thai culture.

For example, the "mia noi" concept is not as acceptable, traditionally relating to bad luck for the rice crops or something like that. Although Thai Karen I imagine have integrated more towards Thai culture and I know plenty of mahouts (the gents who work with elephants) that love to dabble in the Farang women world and have easy access to do so...

Just curious to hear any stories, cultural "lessons", advice, or thoughts on the matter?

Kitty

  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Kitty,

I also date a Karen guy from Chiang Mai, not a mahout as yours is, but I actually work with elephants and we actually have mutual mahout friends on Facebook! Small world!

Anyway, I agree with you that dating a karen guy is a bit different in some ways to a thai guy. They are very protective of their culture and the fact that they are garieng and that can some how affect the way they see things. Also I think they have a little bit of a chip on their shoulder about it, I often get the 'why do you love me, when I am just a poor hill tribe boy' etc. But I think this also stems from the negative gossip that we get about our relationship where we work. He actually has to listen to some of the staff saying that stuff to him! like 'she's a rich farang, she is so much above you, you are just a hilltribe boy' (P.S. not rich in anyway, I earn a thai wage along with the rest of them!).

Your right about the mia noi though, it is definitely far less acceptable in karen culture, don't be fooled that it doesn't happen though. Although I'm not a second girlfriend, my boyfriend and I have alot of trouble with his ex who doesn't want to be his ex. He is getting bullied by her parents and relatives to marry her even though they have been broken up for two years! And because he is karen, he feels like he has a responsibility to her and will not sever ties with her... very frustrating!

Anyway, can't think of anything else at the moment, I've never dated a Thai thai guy before so I guess I don't have a lot to compare it too except what my female thai friends tell me...

Feel free to PM me if you need to chat or vent :) or add me on Facebook, as I said we have mutual friends, I don't want to use names, but I'm friends with Cha, see if you can find me ;)

Sophie

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

Yea, he constantly reminds me how he's a "hobo" or however you'd translate that word... and one of the annoying cultural things (I believe) is the CONSTANT chatter of money. How much I paid for something, how much I make in Canada, how much I spent on my flight... People go on and on and on about money, and he ALWAYS talks about how he has no money but he has happiness. He's the sweetest guy, but I swear if he keeps reminding me he's broke and will always be broke, I might just let him be a hobo by himself hahaha... jk...

I try to be modest with my money because I REALLY don't want him or anyone else looking at me like moneybags.

I've had to "prove" more than once that I am not made of money. One girl who's a "friend" of mine took advantage when I first moved there, I don't take it personally because I know that "skimming" is very common and I understand their thoughts on foreigners, but when she asked if I wanted to go out one day (shopping, no less) I said "sure but I have no money." She seemed surprised by that statement, but likely didn't believe it.

She tested it by suggesting a spa (I had been DYING for a leg wax) and then said "Oh, maybe too expensive..." Yup. I agreed and walked away without a second glance. Then she went to buy something while I browsed goods. When she came back she asked "oh did you buy that?"

NOPE... my response "I was not joking, I have no money."

Budget, savings, planning, investment, all things that don't seem to exist for my Karen buddies. My bf wants to build a house, piece by piece. I'm trying to help him save his money in the bank, but he is convinced if he doesn't buy some wood here and some labour there, and start building it, that it will never happen. Nobody does it like that in his village. I really hope if nothing else I could help him with his future, help him learn to save, and spend like us westerners :P

I'll be in touch! I'm back in October (just selling my house in YYC now) Maybe we can connect on FB

I just wondered if he has Thai citizenship.

Thai ID card, right to own land, right to a Thai passport, etc.

Many hill tribe persons have no rights of any kind in Thailand, and nor do their children.

If you were to reproduce, it would also be hard to get any child citizenship to your country too.

No passport, no birth certificate, no papers, no right to travel, etc.

  • Author

Yes, he and his family are Thai Karen, all born in Thailand. I read ALL about Karen culture before I jumped into the relationship, and there were Karen people who immigrated to Thailand about 150 years ago, seems he was one of them from my prodding about his family history. He is a citizen, anyway.

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