Other Half's Girlfriend wants to visit - Advice Required

[David48]

Talking about my Thai girlfriend ... her Thai Girlfriend wants to visit us in Farangland.

That's OK by me, she an exceptionally polite and nice lady, have met several times.

Currently, the intending visitor is in LA and hates it.

So I suggested that maybe she should drop by my home country and we would show her some hospitality.

I like to be organised so recently asked my gf if she had been in contact with her friend about the proposed visit because I want to organise my flights for next year back to Thailand ... I have this years sorted and leave soon.

The reply comes back and the answer is yes, she is very interested in visiting.

Oh, OK ... when, and for how long?

Well, I never got to the when, as I fell off the chair, because the how long was 2 - 3 months ...

There is no work involved ... just a friendly visit.

So, what are your experiences of a similar situation?

Not interested in hearing stories about Thailand, just social visits in your home country.

How long, relationship etc?

I've got to get an icepack for the bump on the noggin when I fell off the chair!

.

Edited July 2, 2013 by David48

[Boo]

We talked about Mr Boos bestie & wife visiting Uk for a holiday & if they could get the time off, visas etc. Estimated visit time 2-4 weeks. No problem.

It's an expensive & long trip.

Same when a good friend from TV was coming to UK, she was travelling around but spent most of her month trip at ours.

Depends on how much you like your privacy & how well you know the visitor.

if you don't want her staying that long then say so, it's your house too.

[krisb]

2 or 3 months!.... Gee, LA must be really sh!t huh?

Sorry David, but thats great. Just a short visit I see! Then the awkward position of you dont wanna say thats too long. Way I see it is think of your other half, let her decide if thats ok, then let them sort it out. Least dinner will be awesome huh?

[briboy]

David, I think from somewhere back along the track i read that you were from the Northern Rivers area, keep in mind I am not far away if you need a hand....

Edited July 2, 2013 by briboy

[rucus7]

My rule of thumb is, fish and guests stink after three days.

Edited July 2, 2013 by rucus7

[Scottythai]

Hmm you got me on that one. Best of luck and all! But wow 2-3 months? Did the wife maybe talk her into the extra long stay because she is " My sister me"?

[lazygourmet]

double post.

... guests "stink"... I would rather have said

[theblether]

Och stop being so miserable and let her stay.

Once she moves out I'm coming over for 6 months.

[Gsxrnz]

Years ago my then best friend of maybe 10 years was relocated back to my hometown after a 6 month transfer away. He'd bought a house while away and therefore had all his cash tied up. I offer to let him stay with me and family for a month until his house was sold and he could repurchase.

Biggest mistake ever made. An otherwise good mate, golf partner, bike riding partner, general all around good bloke turned out to have the personal habits of a pig and was as lazy as a sloth. The month couldn't go past fast enough. It caused our friendship to dissipate and also put pressure on my marriage. We still stay in touch but I wouldn't go out of my way to help him again.

Good luck with your 2-3 month visitor David - maybe her being female and Thai may make it a more pleasant experience, but consider what it will be like living with two Thai women for that length of time.

[weegee]

Och stop being so miserable and let her stay.

Once she moves out I'm coming over for 6 months.

oooooooh noooooo.....the coast will never be the same. Dont do it Dave

[David48]

Och stop being so miserable and let her stay.

Once she moves out I'm coming over for 6 months.

I'll leave you the keys ...

Under the pot plant on the right.

Don't forget to turn the Hot Water off on the way out!

.

[David48]

David, I think from somewhere back along the track i read that you were from the Northern Rivers area, keep in mind I am not far away if you need a hand....

Friend is Uni educated, Accountant and owns a small farm with Rubber Trees.

Easy enough on the eye 38ish from memory ... she's a catch!

Visas are not a problem as she is currently in the States.

I'll let you know ...

.

[David48]

GUYS ... you are assuming that it's a fait accompli ...

The gf (my partner) are equals ... we decide things together ... just it's that our Cultures have clashed a little here.

I was my suggestion to invite her out ... she's a sweetie.

But I was anticipating 2 - 3 weeks ... 2 - 3 not months!

Advice according ...

.

[samran]

Remind her Australia is expensive. Double the cost of living from the US. Plus she'll only get a visa for a max 3 month visit anyway.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

When the lady comes to stay, sit very close to her, look deeply in her eyes, find excuses to be alone with her.

Your wife will have her out of the house within 3 days.

[varun]

If I were you, I'd 'revise' the length of stay to be closer to a maxium of 1 month. 2-3 weeks tops.

The period as stipulated by your wife is not set in stone, and could easily extend beyond that.

This is precisely why she said '2-3 months'.

What if the friend gets very comfortable and decides to stay longer?

More importantly, won't the financial burden be your's to bear? Are you willing to put up with that?

If you have a big house and cash to burn, by all means, go ahead.

Otherwise, make it very clear to your wife how long the acceptable period is (in your opinion)

[David48]

When the lady comes to stay, sit very close to her, look deeply in her eyes, find excuses to be alone with her.

Your wife will have her out of the house within 3 days.

Thanks AOA ... but we aren't in Thailand for this visit.

@ varun ... visas to my country max out in 3 months.

... as I just noticed samran reminded us.

.

Edited July 2, 2013 by David48

[Stradavarius37]

If she's hot, no problem...

[Chittychangchang]

Wife's friend planned on staying a week and practically moved in, she tried to take over the house.

She stayed three weeks till we eventually got rid of her. Loads of horror stories in that three weeks.

That was six years ago and we've not seen her since.

Some friends are great!!!.....in small doses

[rijb]

Find her a separate place to stay close by.

[arthurwait]

2-3 months you've got to be joking. Unless she really is her girlfriend and then 'woop woop'.

[David48]

@ Stradavarius37 ... 'Hot' ... no. Attractive ... sure. But it's kind of looking at your sister, so no attraction there. Plus, I have a gf ... my lot is good.

@ rijb ... 2 - 3 months in a hotel ... that's some coin which I know she doesn't have. Remember, Farangland, not Thailand.

@ CCC ... in the back of my mind as there is no 'quest wing' at my place.

Thanks for all the replies thus far.

.

[arvind]

So she's specifically staying with you because she couldn't afford the trip otherwise - that's not a "visit by a friend" but a freeloader.

Unless she's got a lot to offer in exchange for the inconvenience - potential nightmare situation - I'd say no dice.

[rijb]

I wasn't thinking about a hotel. Maybe she could stay in a time share or cheap month-to-month apartment or a room-for-rent in somebody else's house. And helping her with the rent might be cheaper, and more peaceful, in the long run.

[mickjn]

Its great especially when they want to go out and you dont want to go.They come back at 11,thats ok then the yak yak starts until 5 am sitting on the floor eating their grub.I do not mind it others do

[BB1955]

When we lived in the USA we had the 5 day rule the fifth day start packing . Here in Thailand same thing . Problem here is they never tell you when there coming and when they plan on leaving .... Had one guest show up in toat of three more people we diidnt know and two dogs . Needless to say we were not happy campers . This last year she called to come visit , sorry we are busy that week ... Let us know when you get here we 'll break free one afternoon and have dinner ...

[Paangjang]

David, I think from somewhere back along the track i read that you were from the Northern Rivers area, keep in mind I am not far away if you need a hand....

Friend is Uni educated, Accountant and owns a small farm with Rubber Trees.

Easy enough on the eye 38ish from memory ... she's a catch!

Visas are not a problem as she is currently in the States.

I'll let you know ...

.

If you don't show us a picture she's not real!

[kevvy]

why do you have to ask members on this forum about your situation, i am sure you and your wife can work this out between yourselves. either you want her there for 3 months or you dont , surely you can work that out D

[nonthaburial]

Grrrrrrrr, different country but SAME SAME, I live in China with a high so Chinese wife, she has two brothers, one the Toyota agent for a large Chinese province, the other one of the top cancer specialists in China. One of the brothers has a 19 yo daughter being educated in LA, but she got herself into a DUI SITUATION, so she "deliberately and deviously" did not follow up on her education visa, problem is, he father, is now remarried with a new daughter. His new wife does not tolerate the daughter in question, resulting in a request from my wife, can she stay with us for two weeks. After arguing and trying to be fair I agreed, only to find when the so called 2nd daughter arrived she was to stay for three months.

I went ape Shiite, and was told thisis the Chinese family way, but this 19 yo only showed herself as a guest When food was being served, she is am dog orientated fat, rude , lazy, spoilt, total waste of space LIKE MAJORITY OF ASIAN/ CHINESE YOUNGSTERS ARE.

This nearly broke my marriage BEWARE

[ABCer]

My friend, be sensible.

Either your GF or her GF. You can't have both back home. For this you must revisit LOS.

Good luck.