John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of

me life between the legs of me own sweet wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and boasted to his wife Mary, "I won the prize for the best

toast of the night!"

"Aye, did ye now," said she. "And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sittin' in church

beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street

corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the

other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know,

he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep,

and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

A corker, made me laugh out loud...