Thai Daughter Family Dynamic.....

[theblether]

There's a horrific story on the news thread today ( Witch Doctor ) which boils down to evil parents arranging for their daughter to be tortured. Now that story is exceptional in it's depravity. It's unbelievable that anyone would treat their daughter like that.

Setting that to the side, I am aware that there is a high level of expectation laid by parents on their daughters. Can someone explain that family dynamic?

Let's say there are three daughters, is the expectation the same for the three of them or does it mainly fall on the older daughter?

In that same example, does the oldest daughter inherit everything or is it split?

So many more questions, but that would be a start. What is expected of Thai daughters, and what do they get in return.

[trainman34014]

My Father-in Law is 91 and has outlived five wives, with which he produced two Sons and four Daughters. The oldest son is a Government official nearing retirement and lives 30 miles away from Father. In the last three years he has contributed 3,500 Baht per month to Fathers upkeep but before that did nothing to help his Father financially at all and stayed away from the family home for long periods. The other Son was killed on a Motorbike at 18, being drunk out of his head and hitting an unlit road repair vehicle at 3am one morning.

The eldest Daughter; my Wife's half Sister from Same Mother, lives next door to Father and has never offered any money, ever. However; for the last two years since final Mother-in-Law expired she has looked after his daily needs together with her own Daughter-in-Law. They are not too happy about this as there is no love between them and him, it's a case of having to do their bit as he lives in a house built and owned by my Wife, who is the second eldest Daughter. We also provide all the additional money to support him financially as no one else in the family is interested or stays in contact with him. We also visit twice monthly and stay for two nights looking after Hospital visits, other trips and maintaining the house and surroundings. The two Daughters that were born last, both from different Mother's, vanished many years ago and have no contact with their Father.

The reason i have outlined this story is because this Old Man has spent his whole life being a bad drunken, gambling Husband and Father who regularly beat his wive's and family to the point where they just wanted to run away. However; he constantly hammered the Girls to provide him and his many Wive's with lots of money to support them and kept up the pressure on them until he became so old and fragile that he can't shout and scream at anyone anymore, or they ran away and got a life. If it wasn't for my Wife building them a new house the old wooden one would have fallen down on their heads but when it was built not one word of thanks was heard. This Man has spent his life believing it's his right to demand from the Women in his family that they support him in every way and that he shouldn't need to do much about supporting them in any way, shape or form. He has not been alone in this behaviour as I know of several others in the villages around us who have acted in similar ways.

I do think things are changing these days and the majority of Men like this are Dinosaurs that are slowly dying off. From the modern families i observe in these parts it seems that Father is more interested in getting his Daughters educated and getting them into decent jobs without pressuring them for financial support.

[arthurwait]

Daughters are expected to be second place to the sons. Son can do what he wants and daughter will always be expected to look after the parent/parents, whatever the financial situation of the family.

If rich not monartery wise but be there for the parents. Family business etc.

Edited July 18, 2013 by arthurwait

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Some parents will try to make money out of a pretty daughter, however they can.

Ugly ones don't seem to suffer the same problems.

[NeverSure]

There are two ways to do it and I am truly convinced. Send the pretty ones to work in a bar. OR find a farang and get a ton of sin sod.

Or both.

Sorry to be so jaded, but I have found it impossible to get to know a Thai woman without the subject of sin sod coming up long before any mention of marriage.

[arthurwait]

There are two ways to do it and I am truly convinced. Send the pretty ones to work in a bar. OR find a farang and get a ton of sin sod.

Or both.

Sorry to be so jaded, but I have found it impossible to get to know a Thai woman without the subject of sin sod coming up long before any mention of marriage.

The pretty girls in Thailand go nowhere near bars to work especially farang ones.

If you mean less ugly poverty stricken country girls then yes maybe you are right.

[pattayadingo]

I have always been led to believe it is down to the youngest daughter because the older ones have already helped out - with the younger ones education etc.

On the other hand that may have been said because the younger daugters have wanted some extra funds

[theblether]

Thanks for that insight Trainman and taking the time to answer.

It seems we're a bit stuck with this one, does anyone agree with PD that it's down to the youngest daughter?

[harrry]

Traditionally it was the youngest daughter who hadd the responsibility of caring for the framily and in return inherited all the land. It is only fairly recently that the land came to be divided between people. Thailand was a matriachal society with an agricultural base and this helped preserve the land holdings intact rather than them being reduced in size to an unsustainable level as happens now.

[Issangeorge]

My wife the youngest daughter in the family looked after her mother while she was alive, but that may of been because she was married to me and had more money than the rest of the family. Although I have heard that it is the youngest daughter's responsibility to look after the family.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[theblether]

Thanks very much, right seems to be that the youngest daughter is responsible, under the traditional system she would inherit the land, and I take it the older daughters would be married off and have to leave the house?

[harrry]

Thanks very much, right seems to be that the youngest daughter is responsible, under the traditional system she would inherit the land, and I take it the older daughters would be married off and have to leave the house?

About right...the older brothers would probably have provided the labor...but have no real rights.