First baby advice

[kwonitoy]

My little bruiser is here, mummy and boy are all ok so far! More to follow but I am one happy bunny

Congratulations,

When our little guy was born two years ago, I phoned my mom when he was born and said what I know about raising a baby wouldn't fill half a postcard, she just laughed and said you'll learn.

She was right, first child for both my wife and me and we learned, and are still learning.

So will you two.

Best of luck for the future

Ken

[eezergood]

He looks like mamma, but you can see he is my boy! Soooooo happy and scared

[EyesWideOpen]

Congratulations !!!! Don't worry, the being scared part goes away in a couple of

weeks as you realize that a baby is actually quite durable !!! And don't forget

to burp your son after feeding. The first day at the hospital I could not figure

out why my daughter was crying so much after feeding. Some quick internet research,

a burp, and then she was straight to sleep....

[eezergood]

Very useful advice regarding the burping, I dont know how something so small can make sooooo much noise!

Mamma & baby home, I must head back to work for a few days then off again me thinks.....

[Boo]

Very happy for you all. Enjoy it all, even the noise

[EyesWideOpen]

Very useful advice regarding the burping, I dont know how something so small can make sooooo much noise!

Mamma & baby home, I must head back to work for a few days then off again me thinks.....

No no no.....This is still the relatively quiet stage, when his lungs are small. Wait for about a year, then you will get some real crying action !! :-) :-)

[EyesWideOpen]

Here is the result of EyesWideOpen's child rearing information gleaned from the internet.....

Edited August 15, 2013 by EyesWideOpen

[krisb]

I was the same as you. My daughter here has just turned 3 years old. Neither

the mother or myself had ever taken care of a baby, and there were no in-laws

close by to help. So the first thoughts after coming home from the hospital was

" wow, what do we do now ?". Google became my new best friend as there is endless

advice for any problem that comes up. My Thai wife calls me the internet dad. :-)

Advice ?

1. Most important is to breast feed the baby. My daughter has never spent one minute

in a hospital from being sick. One year at a minimum, two years is about right,

any longer is just icing on the cake. My daughter will stop now at three years.

If breast fed, would not feed any solid food until the baby is about 1 and a half.

Lots of stuff on the internet about the dangers of feeding food too soon.

2. Do not use a pacifier. They are not necessary, and can distort the mouth if

used excessively. My daughter has never used one. If the baby has a need,

then address it instead of sticking in a pacifier.

3. Sleep with your baby. But be very careful to roll over on it. I would put my wife

between myself and the baby, or use a long pillow to protect the baby.

When new to the world, it must be terrifying to be put in a dark room by yourself. Far more

comforting to be next to the mother. With this system, getting sleep for the

parents is no problem. The baby wakes up hungry, gives a little whimper,

gets the breast, feeds, and goes right back to sleep.

4. Of course ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS put the baby to sleep on it's back to help prevent

the horror of SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome. To my astonishment at the

hospital the nurse there told my wife to be sure to put the baby to sleep on

her back. Guess the nurse was a bit behind the times medically...

5. Ignore all the village superstitious nonsense advice, which can range from comic

to dangerous. A friend of mine has a Vietnamese wife. On a trip back to her

village the baby became sick. While he was standing outside, he heard his baby

screaming. Rushing inside the house, he discovered his well meaning in-laws were

cutting the baby to bleed it, thinking that would make it well... :-(

Needless to say he went ballistic.... You can agree to cut the hair at one month,

which is a pointless but fairly benign village ritual....

6. When the baby is being given inoculations, go over with the doctor about what

is being given. There are some that are mandatory, and some that the hospital

tries to sort of slip in. The last time I went the doctor tried to slip in

a bird flu shot. I laughed and said my daughter did not live on a bird farm..

7. Whatever country you are from, get her a passport from that country. I did it

at 6 months for my daughter. If you are run over by a bus before you get her

a passport, she will then not be able to ever get one.

Enjoy your baby, for me it has been the best experience of my life !!!!!!!!!!!!

You don't have boobs with a child chewing on them. Most mothers find it agonizing once baby has teeth. Ours stopped the boob at 6mths and eats cerealac with mashed avocado, banana, other baby food no worries, she now only drinks formula milk and has never been sick either. She started cerealac at 4 months. First time mothers usually need to be taught how to breastfeed properly, get a midwife to teach your wife, there's techniques how to hold how to get the baby on properly, this was my wife's 3rd and she didn't know how to feed properly until shown with the 3rd. Your wife may not even produce a milk stream for a couple of days. Its not uncommon, she produces like a thick milky substance which baby doesn't get much of. Small amounts of boiled and cooled water spoon fed are fine until she does get the milk going. At least baby gets some liquid.

2. Babies should be slept on their back, although we changed ours onto her side and even front a bit. They now think sids has a lot to do with babies being to hot so good air flow, and watch how many blankets they have. Get an air con.

Baby should never sleep in the bed with you guys. The obvious squashing, suffocation, plus baby can get hot. Get it a good cot and only put blanket and baby in there, don't crowd it with toys. Just put the cot in your room, I know parents that would say no way, straight to their own room. Up to you.

Australia has great midwifery, they now recommend using pacifiers, nothing wrong with them.

I do agree those village traditions are crazy.

[krisb]

Congratulations Dad !!!

Did you cut the chord?

Feel free to upload a pic on the show us ya baby thread.. like I proudly did..

[eezergood]

My beautiful baby boy, will get a better pic to load but this was the day after he was born

[krisb]

Lovely pic! Mine looked really Thai the first week but now really only the eyes do. Its quite interesting seeing which way they go I think.

[EyesWideOpen]

Pro and cons on the pacifier issue. Guess it is just matter of doing the research, and deciding your self. Probably not that big of an issue either way....

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/newborns/whats-wrong-with-pacifiers

"However, many breastfeeding experts are challenging the AAP recommendation. Their argument? SIDS is thought to result from an infant falling into too deep a sleep before his body has gained the ability to regulate its own arousal. Sucking on a pacifier while sleeping keeps the baby from sleeping as deeply, thus guarding against SIDS. However, Mother Nature has already designed the perfect way to help babies regulate their arousal systems during the early months of life: waking frequently at night to nurse, and sleeping near Mama. In fact, co-sleeping and breastfeeding have both been shown to have a protective effect against SIDS, because the babys physiology is kept at a higher level of arousal. His sleep cycles even parallel his mothers. SIDS was probably unknown before separate bedrooms and cribs were invented, and as both co-sleeping and breastfeeding have increased since 1992, SIDS has decreased."

[draftvader]

Pro and cons on the pacifier issue. Guess it is just matter of doing the research, and deciding your self. Probably not that big of an issue either way....

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/newborns/whats-wrong-with-pacifiers

"However, many breastfeeding experts are challenging the AAP recommendation. Their argument? SIDS is thought to result from an infant falling into too deep a sleep before his body has gained the ability to regulate its own arousal. Sucking on a pacifier while sleeping keeps the baby from sleeping as deeply, thus guarding against SIDS. However, Mother Nature has already designed the perfect way to help babies regulate their arousal systems during the early months of life: waking frequently at night to nurse, and sleeping near Mama. In fact, co-sleeping and breastfeeding have both been shown to have a protective effect against SIDS, because the babys physiology is kept at a higher level of arousal. His sleep cycles even parallel his mothers. SIDS was probably unknown before separate bedrooms and cribs were invented, and as both co-sleeping and breastfeeding have increased since 1992, SIDS has decreased."

I'm with the co-sleeping and the breast-feeding. It really helps the family get enough rest. We have only used the pacifier when we weaned our daughter at 18 months and we only allow it at night when she is asleep.

[eezergood]

We have him in a crib pushed up againt the bed, when he wont settle we put him in with us till he is asleep and then move him over. I am by no means an expert (1 week in) but if my little man wont settle I just check the obvious - hungry? wet? wind? if not I thnk he just wants a bit of a cuddle, which i am happy to provide until he drifts off.

Edited August 16, 2013 by eezergood

[draftvader]

We have him in a crib pushed up againt the bed, when he wont settle we put him in with us till he is asleep and then move him over. I am by no means an expert (1 week in) but if my little man wont settle I just check the obvious - hungry? wet? wind? if not I thnk he just wants a bit of a cuddle, which i am happy to provide until he drifts off.

Yep, that's where we're at. Truthfully I think we'll find it hardest when our daughter completely moves from our bed. She is 21 months now and I feel a great sense of warmth and security knowing she is there, fast asleep and happy.

[EyesWideOpen]

Co-sleeping is the only way to go. Putting a child in a dark room by itself with a baby monitor is simply fundamentally wrong. Most of the world in fact co-sleeps. The benefits are endless. A few months after my daughter came home from the hospital, my friends would ask me if I was kept awake by crying at night. I started laughing , and said it never happened. With co-sleeping and breast feeding, I was never woken up. Baby gives a whimper, grabs a breast , and goes right back to sleep. So the baby learns it never has to cry to get food, as it is always right there. Even western doctors will reluctantly admit co-sleeping is much better for the child. Their reluctance is based up the fear of the parent rolling over and crushing the baby. So just address that issue with long pillows and your are all set.

[eezergood]

No fear of crushing, everytime he makes the smallest sound I am awake and jumping up! I didnt think i could move so fast!

[EyesWideOpen]

We have him in a crib pushed up againt the bed, when he wont settle we put him in with us till he is asleep and then move him over. I am by no means an expert (1 week in) but if my little man wont settle I just check the obvious - hungry? wet? wind? if not I thnk he just wants a bit of a cuddle, which i am happy to provide until he drifts off.

Think he is telling you he wants to sleep with you... :-)

To ensure my daughter did not fall off the bed at night, I built this around the bed. Has worked out fantastic by providing a large safe play area by day as well.

And then setup a small hammock that is directly over the bed which she absolutely adores. Great for getting her to sleep. So my wife can watch lakorn on the TV, while rocking our daughter back and forth.

Edited August 16, 2013 by EyesWideOpen

[draftvader]

No fear of crushing, everytime he makes the smallest sound I am awake and jumping up! I didnt think i could move so fast!

or that you slept so lightly?

[eezergood]

I am a light sleeper, ever since I caught a home intruder breaking into my place a few yrs ago!

But with the little fella, I have zero baby experience so panic/over worry are my default modes for now!

[benalibina]

And now he is only small, lets hope that your worries not increase the older he gets. Cha cha young man. But is nice eh a small eezergoodie around !

[draftvader]

I am a light sleeper, ever since I caught a home intruder breaking into my place a few yrs ago!

But with the little fella, I have zero baby experience so panic/over worry are my default modes for now!

You'll get there. We all spend the first year on full alert. Now, at nearly 22 months, my little girl is crying as I type. I can see that she is in no pain but just annoyed with a shoe, hence no jumping up from me. You'll get there.....you really will.

[EyesWideOpen]

I am a light sleeper, ever since I caught a home intruder breaking into my place a few yrs ago!

But with the little fella, I have zero baby experience so panic/over worry are my default modes for now!

You'll get there. We all spend the first year on full alert. Now, at nearly 22 months, my little girl is crying as I type. I can see that she is in no pain but just annoyed with a shoe, hence no jumping up from me. You'll get there.....you really will.

Hahaha I have a set of ear muffs I use for doing computer work when she is crying for no reason. Wait, will that knock me out of the running for Dad of The Year ?? :-)

[draftvader]

I am a light sleeper, ever since I caught a home intruder breaking into my place a few yrs ago!

But with the little fella, I have zero baby experience so panic/over worry are my default modes for now!

You'll get there. We all spend the first year on full alert. Now, at nearly 22 months, my little girl is crying as I type. I can see that she is in no pain but just annoyed with a shoe, hence no jumping up from me. You'll get there.....you really will.

Hahaha I have a set of ear muffs I use for doing computer work when she is crying for no reason. Wait, will that knock me out of the running for Dad of The Year ?? :-)

As long as you have done your ABC (ass, bottle, cuddle) then you're probably still well in the running (but behind me....naturally )

[renaz]

I really love this thread! I've been involved in a load of parenting/mama sites and it usually degenerates into a slanging match between mothers about who had the best way.

Congratulations eezergood! How are you guys travelling now? Mmmm little squishy, bet he smells good!

How are mum's nipples going a few weeks in? Was at about three weeks I was ready to pack it all in as they were an agony of burning hot pain. The natural lanolin cream over here worked best and determination! Nursed her till 19mths, second one till 20mths. They are six and just about three now, neither of them has ever had any antibiotics....they are not vax'd but that's a whole other debate that we won't get into here. They aren't so stupid either, the big one watched the little be born then asked me how the first person pushed herself out of her own v_gina. She was four and a half at the time.

My first slept about eight hours in every twenty-four for the first eight months if her life. Mama went a little crazy, tool her to sleep school. Worst mistake I made as a parent. Moved her out of the bed, everything. She is now a terrible sleeper but the little one who I nursed round the clock till she was 18mths, moved into own bed at 2, sleeps through most every night now.

Best decision I made as a parent was to baby wear. I tried with the first but only had a baby bjorn that I'd been given. Wish I'd known of the myriad other options out there. With number two I discovered purpose woven wraps of varying fibres. Steep learning curve to these but once mastered I could get her on my back with a 5m wrap in under a minute. I used to go to work with her up there, once did a five hour stint.

You might think they'd be too hot to use over there but the variety of textures/thickness/fibres means you can wear in just about any climate. Linen is stronger than cotton but much cooler.

Pm me if you'd like some more info about it! There's other carriers much more comfortable for baby and carer than the baby bjorn. If you're in Samui or KPG I'll be there in a couple of months, happy to meet up and give some lessons, I will have a couple of wraps with me, I still wear Miss Three a bit when needed.

Hope things are going well for you guys! It's a very exciting time...and then it can get totally crazy and you're standing around wondering who in earth dropped this alien off in your house. It goes on for years and then finally the youngest one sleeps through, they can talk and say the most hilarious things; they say "I wuv you mama." and your heart melts. Remember, THEY have no idea about what is right and wrong parenting, if you screw up occasionally, they probably didn't even know as long as you were always there for cuddles when they ask, even for no reason.

[draftvader]

Couldn't agree more about wearing the baby. My wife went back to work after 11 weeks leaving me "home alone" with our little girl for up to 12 hours a day. Wearing her on my front kept her cozy, secure and let her sleep naturally. I consider myself blessed amongst fathers to have such a close bond with my daughter. I would say that now, at 22 months, my wife and I have equal bonds with our child which is a wonderful thing for her security.

[eezergood]

So far so good......

He is amazing, and cant believe or imagine not having him around. He is alsmot growing before our eyes, 1.2kg in 3 weeks, and is definately going to be a proper little character. We are splitting the feeding and cleaning, so I am doing through the night stuff and my wife has him all day when i am at work. He comes with us everywhere, even take him down to the little gym in our condo when I go for a run. Put on soe music for him and as long as he can look outside he is as happy as larry!

This thread has been and continues be be great, with lots of genuine people contributing - hope we can keep it up & hope it helps others too!

[EyesWideOpen]

A bit of toddler advice for when he is bigger. I never used one of those walker things that roll around

and are supposed to exercise you baby. Current medical advice seems to be there are a lot of accidents

involved with those, so I chose to not buy one. I also never used a stroller, always seemed easier to me to just

pick her up and carry her. Now she loves horsey time, by riding on my shoulders.

When learning to walk, there will be a LOT of falls. A good idea is to have buy a padded sort of helmet that

goes on the head. Easily purchased here in Thailand. It is sort of sickening to see your wonderful child trying to walk, and then

watch them do a full on face plant on their head on a hard floor....... Also starting at around 1 .5 years I started

giving my daughter lemon flavored cod liver oil. A lot of information on this, do your own research. My Mom gave

it to me 55 years ago when I was a toddler, so it is an old idea. If I drink it first, put a happy expression on my face,

tell her it is ya ( medicine) for big people, she will happily drink a spoonful...

At an early age, a baby is sort of like a concept. Since they do not really do a whole lot. But when the personality starts

developing, they start gazing at you with trusting eyes, and they call you Daddy, that is when you will be wrapped

around their finger !!!!!!! :-)

[stoneyboy]

A bit of toddler advice for when he is bigger. I never used one of those walker things that roll around

and are supposed to exercise you baby. Current medical advice seems to be there are a lot of accidents

involved with those, so I chose to not buy one. I also never used a stroller, always seemed easier to me to just

pick her up and carry her. Now she loves horsey time, by riding on my shoulders.

When learning to walk, there will be a LOT of falls. A good idea is to have buy a padded sort of helmet that

goes on the head. Easily purchased here in Thailand. It is sort of sickening to see your wonderful child trying to walk, and then

watch them do a full on face plant on their head on a hard floor....... Also starting at around 1 .5 years I started

giving my daughter lemon flavored cod liver oil. A lot of information on this, do your own research. My Mom gave

it to me 55 years ago when I was a toddler, so it is an old idea. If I drink it first, put a happy expression on my face,

tell her it is ya ( medicine) for big people, she will happily drink a spoonful...

At an early age, a baby is sort of like a concept. Since they do not really do a whole lot. But when the personality starts

developing, they start gazing at you with trusting eyes, and they call you Daddy, that is when you will be wrapped

around their finger !!!!!!! :-)

My mum gave me the water from the boiled greens all those years ago.

Ah.

[maibork]

Just make sure to do things which you can't do in future..... Going out with friends, go to the cinema, even enjoying a meal in a restaurant... And of course sleep a lot because you will have a lack of sleep the first couple of days...

A private hospital will help you with the birth certificate and you just have to pick it up at your amphoer a few days later.

We bought a lot of baby clothes (most 2 pieces - trousers-pants) from different thai brands before birth however in the end we are only using bodysuits from H&M which are also cheaper.....