Extortion....or scam...same same as = loss of money.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Valid point...but i do call 6 months out of around 2 yrs and 9 months is having been together about 20 % of the time.

when together its allday and everyday so its not just 1 or 2 visits for 2 weeks.

also talk on phone daily all the period,emails daily and cam.

i think this is a lot more than many farangs who live away from thailand spend together with g/f or fiance.

With you 20% of the time, with her other four customers 80% of the time.

Chances of being your child about 1 in 5.

Good luck with those odds.

About the insults, not really, just guys that have seen this all before trying to give you a wake-up call.

Not that it matters, you won't listen. Part-timers never do.

Edited August 3, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[aTomsLife]

i thought i was very astute and good at picking the good from the bad but it looks like i let my guard down.

Fair enough, but you need to consider how well you really know this woman, given how far you live from each other and how infrequent your visits are.

Valid point...but i do call 6 months out of around 2 yrs and 9 months is having been together about 20 % of the time.

when together its allday and everyday so its not just 1 or 2 visits for 2 weeks.

also talk on phone daily all the period,emails daily and cam.

i think this is a lot more than many farangs who live away from thailand spend together with g/f or fiance.

20% wow! Who are you really trying to convince anyway?

I'm not telling you to dump your lady, especially with a child on the way. But you need to speak up and defend yourself to them the same way you are with me. See you're capable.

[TheSpade]

I met this European in a village in northern Thailand. He was a nice guy. He built a house for them to live in, and then some smaller bungalows for the aunts, uncles, cousins... Of course he also paid for the living expenses for the whole extended family. He was a happy man.

His wife was friends with the wife of another friend of mine. Well, the wife of the European told the wife of my other friend: "He has 12 million Baht. I already have 9 million, I'll get the rest too".

It didn't take long (maybe another year) for him to run out of money. The wife (oh, they were not legally married but only in a Buddhist ceremony) then explained to him that it is her house (the documents proved that) and if he wants to continue to live there, he would have to pay rent.

He went back to Europe to do some odd jobs for 6 months and then returned to her and paid the rent. You are right, nobody in his home country understood him, but neither did I. I have lost contact with him since. I believe he is still happy.

Just saying, as you mentioned "things will sort themselves out".

What has this guy got to be happy about? He's been scammed out of all his money and is now being forced into paying rent to live in his own house by a women he treated ridiculously well and cared for.

i have only tried to do my best for someone who i have found during our 6 months ( approx 5 weeks at a time ) together to be a nice,honest and lovely caring lady.

That's the problem though isn't it you haven't spent more than 5 weeks at a time with this girl so you barely know her. Five weeks is like a little holiday where you don't get to see the real person.

6 whole months and you're already paying for everything, sending her money and gifts, giving her more money than she's ever seen and funding her family too. Would you do that with a women back home?

Try to ignore the simple ass replies. As you should know by now this site is filled with many losers who have nothing else to do other then post hurtful and of course unhelpful replies. Good luck. I hope your situation ends happily.

Can you blame anyone for telling it like it is? Common sense would dictate not to send lots of money and gifts to a women you barely know in a foreign country when all the signs are there that she's taking the piss out of you and always wanting more.

i have even said to some...at least you know about a bargirl and that a lot of the time she is doing it out of need to help a very poor lady.

i have compassion for many from very poor backgrounds who at times appear to have no option than to do what they do.

its when someone is( seems !) so true,loving,caring,respectable etc etc and you know them and see them every few months and talk daily and see on cam daily at the shop

they dont drink,smoke,take drugs,never go or interested in discos etc etc. that one thinks they have found their perfect match and

that you feel secure and in control like that she isnt out with other guys or at a bar or club or disco etc etc.

thats what makes it all so hard to see that ...and i will say...foolishly by giving more and more and more the situation then gets out of control and they go for the jugular.

cheers buddy and thanks for re contacting me and explaining yourself.

much appreciated.

p.s. i have been to asia since 1987 to the philippines in the good old days and kept going there until mid 1990s then changed my focus to thailand as the phils was becoming a bit more dangerous 8 scams and shabu abuse leading to a lot of crime especially towards tourists ) and all the action shifted to angeles and i grew a little older and bored with just go go bar scene although i did travel throughout the islands.

anyway,life goes on,

cheers and good luck in whatever you do.

p.s. like i said i am new to posting on here,

is there a private message area ?

i thought i was very astute and good at picking the good from the bad but it looks like i let my guard down.

This idea about 'poor' bar girls...don't believe that most of them are richer than their customers these days due to all the sponsors they have. People just like you sending money hand over first every month thinking they are 'saving a poor girl'. What a joke.

The fact you've been coming to Asia for so long makes it even worse that you didn't see this as a scam a long time ago. You seem so gullible and naive that I would only expect this from an absolute newbie.

Wise up. I feel sorry for you if you've just been scammed out all your cash and had your hear torn out but you really need to wise up.

[poanoi]

It's your money, and you spend them in what way suits you.

Don't count on an act of gratitude in a distant future btw

Edited August 3, 2013 by poanoi

[onthemoon]

I met this European in a village in northern Thailand. He was a nice guy. He built a house for them to live in, and then some smaller bungalows for the aunts, uncles, cousins... Of course he also paid for the living expenses for the whole extended family. He was a happy man.

His wife was friends with the wife of another friend of mine. Well, the wife of the European told the wife of my other friend: "He has 12 million Baht. I already have 9 million, I'll get the rest too".

It didn't take long (maybe another year) for him to run out of money. The wife (oh, they were not legally married but only in a Buddhist ceremony) then explained to him that it is her house (the documents proved that) and if he wants to continue to live there, he would have to pay rent.

He went back to Europe to do some odd jobs for 6 months and then returned to her and paid the rent. You are right, nobody in his home country understood him, but neither did I. I have lost contact with him since. I believe he is still happy.

Just saying, as you mentioned "things will sort themselves out".

What has this guy got to be happy about? He's been scammed out of all his money and is now being forced into paying rent to live in his own house by a women he treated ridiculously well and cared for.

Good to know that you got the point.

[rayongchelsea]

Foreigners bring optimism , fairness and assume that when someone says something they are being honest until proven otherwise.Sometimes we are a patsy to be had.

Invariably uneducated Thais don't.

This is train wreck..

This is one thread that you feel like crying over..

Unusually the op is replying to most comments but just seems to compound his situation by illustrating that he is being in complete denial with his replies..

I expect he is a very kind individual..

[Songhua]

Another post that reads like a soap opera. If I was a Thai TV producer, I'd make a show about scheming families like the OP describes.

Some potential titles:

1) Buffalo Bill

2) Take Care

3) All in the Family (disgruntled expat as a 21st century Archie Bunker)

4) Love My Family (double entendre: the expat must "love", i.e., give money to, the family / the girl only loves her family)

5) ...?

5) Apocalypse Soon

6) The Dirty Dozen In Laws

[brabo2180]

Foreigners bring optimism , fairness and assume that when someone says something they are being honest until proven otherwise.Sometimes we are a patsy to be had.

Invariably uneducated Thais don't.

This is train wreck..

This is one thread that you feel like crying over..

Unusually the op is replying to most comments but just seems to compound his situation by illustrating that he is being in complete denial with his replies..

I expect he is a very kind individual..

I must agree with the above post.

Farang assume "innocent till proven guilty", and this is used against us.

On top of that, the Thai family knows that, once a girl is pregnant from a farang, he is hooked. Generally, farang don't run from their children like Thai men do in many cases.

In this case, the OP is caught in the trap of the Thai family. I'm not convinced his TGF is in on it.

The aunty is obviously greedy and will not stop harassing the TGF in Australia for more money. It will never end.

The TGF is obviously too weak to stand up against the aunty.

Yes, I'm sorry to say that a train wreck is on its way.

Good Luck Op, you'll need it.

[I Like Thai]

I think you've been had, buddy. Cut your losses and run.

thank you for your sincere reply and advice.

You are welcome. Whether you'll take the advice or not is up to you, I won't judge. But I do appreciate that you read all these postings in order to make up your mind. Once you do, please let us know.

thanks,i am reading them all,some are a little overboard and insulting but i have to accept everyones opinion as i wrote the post.

i expected more insults to be honest so i am very happy with the number of members who have shown a caring and compassionate nature.

i have only tried to do my best for someone who i have found during our 6 months ( approx 5 weeks at a time ) together to be a nice,honest and lovely caring lady.

from all i have seen and talked etc etc. she has had a life with little love as her mother died when she was young and father left and then father of her daughter left.

i have only tried to help and give the love shown to me back and to plan and give her a chance to have a goodlife away from the control of the aunty.

unfortunately it looks like the more i have given the more that is wanted and i feel it is by the aunty and her control.

i have not tried to buy love.

i see many who buy houses and cars for bargirls which is their business.

i will be there in 2 weeks time.

what was supposed to be one of the best days of my life with the birth of our daughter looks like the real begining of heartbreak and a nightmare.

anyway,worse things can happen in life and at the end of the day all i would of lost is money and nearly 3 yrs of time.

i will let you know what happens.

i am new to this forum in regards to posting etc.

can private messages be sent in this forum ?

cheers and thanks for your time.

i appreciate it very much.

You show absolutely no consideration whatsoever for your unborn child. Your child should be the only issue in every decision you make. But I get the impression that you have already made up your mind to abandon your child. It seems that your purpose for posting this thread is to "get approval" for this decision.

[Bender]

It didn't take long (maybe another year) for him to run out of money. The wife (oh, they were not legally married but only in a Buddhist ceremony) then explained to him that it is her house (the documents proved that) and if he wants to continue to live there, he would have to pay rent.

He went back to Europe to do some odd jobs for 6 months and then returned to her and paid the rent. You are right, nobody in his home country understood him, but neither did I. I have lost contact with him since. I believe he is still happy.

Just saying, as you mentioned "things will sort themselves out".

I rememeber, something like 5 years ago, i did met a british at my local gym. He was stuck in Thailand, waiting for his full retirement.

At 50 yo, he came to Thailand, he fall in love, with the first thai chicks he meet. The lady was around 40 yo with a 9 yo daughter.

He marry her and bring them back to UK. He really did take care his step daughter as if it was his own child.

After awhile, his wife complaining how she do miss Thailand.

At 55 yo he stopped to work, sell everything and move to Thailand.

Bought a nice house under his wife's name.... and you guess the end, few weeks later the love affair was over.

With nohere to go, he was allowed to stay in "his" house, but he have to pay 5000 baht for rent a room.

He told me when he sleep, he never forget to lock his door. He was a really nice chap.

This kind of story are really common, i fear Indelible4u, you might be one more to the long list.

You started a relatioship on wrong values, you spoiled her so much, sorry there is no way back!

Edited August 3, 2013 by Bender

[indelible14u]

It didn't take long (maybe another year) for him to run out of money. The wife (oh, they were not legally married but only in a Buddhist ceremony) then explained to him that it is her house (the documents proved that) and if he wants to continue to live there, he would have to pay rent.

He went back to Europe to do some odd jobs for 6 months and then returned to her and paid the rent. You are right, nobody in his home country understood him, but neither did I. I have lost contact with him since. I believe he is still happy.

Just saying, as you mentioned "things will sort themselves out".

I rememeber, something like 5 years ago, i did met a british at my local gym. He was stuck in Thailand, waiting for his full retirement.

At 50 yo, he came to Thailand, he fall in love, with the first thai chicks he meet. The lady was around 40 yo with a 9 yo daughter.

He marry her and bring them back to UK. He really did take care his step daughter as if it was his own child.

After awhile, his wife complaining how she do miss Thailand.

At 55 yo he stopped to work, sell everything and move to Thailand.

Bought a nice house under his wife's name.... and you guess the end, few weeks later the love affair was over.

With nohere to go, he was allowed to stay in "his" house, but he have to pay 5000 baht for rent a room.

He told me when he sleep, he never forget to lock his door. He was a really nice chap.

This kind of story are really common, i fear Indelible4u, you might be one more to the long list.

You started a relatioship on wrong values, you spoiled her so much, sorry there is no way back!

thanks....wow...2nd story about someone who ended up paying rent to stay in his own house bought by his own money.

i think i am one more on the long list.....no...i know i am one more on the long list.

and i agree....there is no way back.

guess i will make it into just a holiday like in the good old days.

but now having said that...the do gooders will start on me next...you have abandoned her and the baby....you selfish man....

cant win either way......maybe i will look for a russian bride.... ...........hahahaha...got to laugh...no point crying.

cheers.......only 1 way now.....forward....and all the way down sukhumvit road....

[Warhammer820]

Make sure the child is yours and if it is, take care of it. Either way, be firm and don't let the Aunt run over you

[benalibina]

Since around his 18th birthday he has been in SE Asia. He must be trolling.

[NeverSure]

Foreigners bring optimism , fairness and assume that when someone says something they are being honest until proven otherwise.Sometimes we are a patsy to be had.

Invariably uneducated Thais don't.

This is train wreck..

This is one thread that you feel like crying over..

Unusually the op is replying to most comments but just seems to compound his situation by illustrating that he is being in complete denial with his replies..

I expect he is a very kind individual..

I expect that he is what we call a rescuer. He likes the feeling of helping some poor girl with money and helping with her family problems. I think he is emotionally attached not only to the girl, but to rescuing her from her situation. That is a dangerous emotion - dangerous to the wallet and dangerous to the heart.

I'm guessing that all of the good advice, some of which he doesn't want to hear, will do no good. I suspect that he will go through with this even though the odds are that this gal has other guys and that the baby may not be his. If that last statement isn't true, then at least the odds are that the girl and family are only after money.

I think this OP is a super nice guy who would do anything to help this gal and that he's going to lose his ass and his heart as the only way to see reality. He's just in too deep emotionally.

We've all seen this before, over and over.

[indelible14u]

Since around his 18th birthday he has been in SE Asia. He must be trolling.

South America,U.S.A,Europe,Australia,North Africa....is this trolling too ????

[EyesWideOpen]

If the original post was a troll post, I am impressed by the amount of time put into the post. If it was a real post, then you are being straight out scammed by the wife, the aunt is just being used as a front. Pretty clever actually....What to do ?? Run away as fast as you can. When the baby is born have a DNA test done. At that point either congratulate the ex-husband on having a second child, or if it is yours, then arrange to send a reasonable sum of money sent to support the child.

[benalibina]

@OP

What a ridiculous reply you made on Neversure's comment. It was not a comment for you to respond like you did. He must be full of astonishment and becoming depressed quickly by reading your reply. Prooves the more that you are trolling. Especially if you have visited many countries like thailand for over 25 years, as you stated. Anyway before this topic will be closed you have had some anonymus fun and entertainment which you can brag about in the pub coming time. If my assumptions are totally wrong, well then they....... are.

[I Like Thai]

He's like the Fox having fun

[rene123]

Perceived

I actually read the OP's whole long story, although he could have shortened it and still got his point across.

There is no way that any of us here can actually know what happened, or even the OP knowing what is actually going on. But, it is quite evident that the aunt is manipulating the OP's girl friend/fiancé. All he can do now is damage control and get the woman and her child out of that situation as soon as possible. It would be far cheaper in the long run to get the woman as far away from the aunt as possible. Rent her a room in a Thai hotel in an entirely different city. There is always work for women who actually want to work.

However, if the woman wants to stay in the same situation then she has her priorities wrong with regards to the OP, and the OP better accept his losses and move on. I wish him the best of luck, but he did walk into a delicate situation with very little prior planning.

Lady i think you seriously underestimate Thai family values specially in Rural area's in Thailand very different from what you are used to in canada.If the woman he intends to marry had some balls and serious intentions she would have told him not to buy her all that crap like i-pads and such and apperently aunty runs an illegal gambling den so she must be making some cash of herself so no need to buy a car to bring baby home from hospital or build extra room to her shophouse from his hard earned cash.They where doing fine before khun farang appeared in there life .

No, I don't underestimate Thai family values. I understand that perseived family values are very compelling to family members, even when it goes against their own best interest. Young women allow themselves to be sold into sexual slavery by their own parents and don't run away. It is a hard cycle to beat, but at some point people have to accept responsibility for their own actions. Too many people don't.

In the OP's case he is between a rock and a hard place. All he can do now is damage control and cut back on the funding. He still might be able to salvage something out of the situation. As I said before, none of us here know all the details... including the OP himself. Our answers are only based on our own experiences and don't necessarily fit this situation.

[NeverSure]

@OP

What a ridiculous reply you made on Neversure's comment. It was not a comment for you to respond like you did. He must be full of astonishment and becoming depressed quickly by reading your reply. Prooves the more that you are trolling. Especially if you have visited many countries like thailand for over 25 years, as you stated. Anyway before this topic will be closed you have had some anonymus fun and entertainment which you can brag about in the pub coming time. If my assumptions are totally wrong, well then they....... are.

Thank you, and thanks mods. It got deleted and I appreciate it.

[Kudel]

Perceived

I actually read the OP's whole long story, although he could have shortened it and still got his point across.

There is no way that any of us here can actually know what happened, or even the OP knowing what is actually going on. But, it is quite evident that the aunt is manipulating the OP's girl friend/fiancé. All he can do now is damage control and get the woman and her child out of that situation as soon as possible. It would be far cheaper in the long run to get the woman as far away from the aunt as possible. Rent her a room in a Thai hotel in an entirely different city. There is always work for women who actually want to work.

However, if the woman wants to stay in the same situation then she has her priorities wrong with regards to the OP, and the OP better accept his losses and move on. I wish him the best of luck, but he did walk into a delicate situation with very little prior planning.

Lady i think you seriously underestimate Thai family values specially in Rural area's in Thailand very different from what you are used to in canada.If the woman he intends to marry had some balls and serious intentions she would have told him not to buy her all that crap like i-pads and such and apperently aunty runs an illegal gambling den so she must be making some cash of herself so no need to buy a car to bring baby home from hospital or build extra room to her shophouse from his hard earned cash.They where doing fine before khun farang appeared in there life .

No, I don't underestimate Thai family values. I understand that perseived family values are very compelling to family members, even when it goes against their own best interest. Young women allow themselves to be sold into sexual slavery by their own parents and don't run away. It is a hard cycle to beat, but at some point people have to accept responsibility for their own actions. Too many people don't.

In the OP's case he is between a rock and a hard place. All he can do now is damage control and cut back on the funding. He still might be able to salvage something out of the situation. As I said before, none of us here know all the details... including the OP himself. Our answers are only based on our own experiences and don't necessarily fit this situation.

Very nice lady and i think you have travelled the world,but would you like to do a case study about overaged western woman having there way for pay with black young men from poor country's in some African and caribean country's would make a nice thesis dont you think?So whats youre opinion about this are these young black males being exploited in the sex trade ?So whats your intrest in Thailand anyway?

[899cc]

OP your in a little too deep now sorry to say, normally when you hear these stories from time to time and you do, my advice is love another one it's that simple really, don't know why people waste so much time & money on these matter's, it's not like there is a shortage of women here is there, keep it simple really is what i'm trying to say

[Spoonman]

wow, what a train wreck.

Your engaged to and empregnated another mans wife, how did you think it was going to work out ?

sorry to say...cant you read....he left 6 years ago.

besides no wedding papers only the old sinsod stuff.

so...no legal marriage.

So sorry to say but your story is full of holes and you keep drip feeding information, my reply was based on your OP.

[aTomsLife]

I rememeber, something like 5 years ago, i did met a british at my local gym. He was stuck in Thailand, waiting for his full retirement.

At 50 yo, he came to Thailand, he fall in love, with the first thai chicks he meet. The lady was around 40 yo with a 9 yo daughter.

He marry her and bring them back to UK. He really did take care his step daughter as if it was his own child.

After awhile, his wife complaining how she do miss Thailand.

At 55 yo he stopped to work, sell everything and move to Thailand.

Bought a nice house under his wife's name.... and you guess the end, few weeks later the love affair was over.

With nohere to go, he was allowed to stay in "his" house, but he have to pay 5000 baht for rent a room.

He told me when he sleep, he never forget to lock his door. He was a really nice chap.

This kind of story are really common, i fear Indelible4u, you might be one more to the long list.

You started a relatioship on wrong values, you spoiled her so much, sorry there is no way back!

thanks....wow...2nd story about someone who ended up paying rent to stay in his own house bought by his own money.

i think i am one more on the long list.....no...i know i am one more on the long list.

and i agree....there is no way back.

guess i will make it into just a holiday like in the good old days.

but now having said that...the do gooders will start on me next...you have abandoned her and the baby....you selfish man....

cant win either way......maybe i will look for a russian bride.... ...........hahahaha...got to laugh...no point crying.

cheers.......only 1 way now.....forward....and all the way down sukhumvit road....

So that's in then? After so many vehement replies to my and others' comments, you've had a change of heart -- gonna back out of the marriage and head "all the way down sukhumvit road", which I assume means head to Pattaya.

Troll.

[MobileContent]

hi,

i am new to posting on this forum but have been reading posts and info on this great site for many years.

Welcome to TV.

i would like to share my story and i hope i have some honest feedback.

i will say i feel that i have been victim of a scam but will let you decide.

i have known my fiance for nearly 3 yrs.

i have travelled to thailand and spent a total of 6 months together with her ( approx 5 weeks every 6 months ) mainly on vacation as she works 16 hours + per day every day as well as doing housework in her aunties homefront shop/supermarket when i am not there.i then pay for an employee to help at the shop when she is away although her uncle helps there too.

This is your first mistake. Why would you pay for an employee if you bring her on a holiday

she doesn't get paid just a room and a room for her 5 yr old daughter.

when i visit i buy them all they need and also for 2+ years sent 5,000 bht per month and leave 25,000 bht everytime i go back home which equates to 10,000 bht per month.

I think that is a fair amount.

last december she became pregnant and our baby girl will be born mid-august.

Congratulations.

i have been what i feel as kind and generous in that i have made her feel loved by spending over 250,000 baht on jewelery and engagement ring.

That counts to almost 10 Baht in gold. To be honest I think that is a bit high.

i have arranged for visa which is currently being processed so they can come and live with me in australia.

she has been a good lady to me and has a good work ethic and use to work as a nurse in the udon thani hospital.

Why did she stopped working at the Udon Thani Hospital?

she married a thai man 6 yrs ago but he had a mistress and left her before their baby girl who is now 5+ yrs old was born.

This happens every day. In our village two guys left their newborn baby. Sometimes the guy plays and sometime it is the lady.

her mother passed away when she was young and her father ran away from isaan to work in bangkok due to some financial problems.

Her father didn't run away but he had to work to survive. He might had run away from the aunty.

her aunty views farangs as all rich and people from whom to become wealthy from them and their money.

It's not really only her aunty but 90% of Thai's think that away.

there is a gambling house in front of their house/shop which is packed everyday with thai ladies married to farangs who work o/s

these ladies all drive new cars and have homes all purchased by their old farang husbands.

Not all farangs are old of those Thai ladies that gamble around. Next to our village are two farangs in their 30's and 40's that come every 6 months for one month, buy iPhones, iPad's, gold jewelry, renovate or build houses, make down-payments on cars, pay debts off for their inlaws and the list goes on.

they gamble and drink daily and many have thai lovers who also do the same and seem to be unemployed.

Their is not much to do really in Udon. By the way you can be assured that your aunty has introduced your fiancee to those ladies that have farangs and tips will get exchanged how to get more out of you. I do not know if your financee is in on it but your aunty is certainly part of it.

she has for years been complaining to my fiance about how these bar girls etc.have new houses and cars yet she doesnt and hasnt got which is very upsetting to her.

I would not use the word bar-girls. Often they are not bar girls and never left Isaan. Almost all the farangs that are getting cheated around my villages met their lady not in bars but either on the internet or visiting pubs etc. during a short trip to Isaan.

i always bring expensive gifts for them when i visit from o/s and take them out to meals at good hotels etc etc.

I think this makes us different. Of course I bring a small gift for my father in law or mother in law when I have to go overseas but my inlaws don't like to eat in expensive hotels and prefer to eat at the road noodles. If I buy a gift I normally would buy a bottle Hennessy once in a while.

i treat her daughter like she was my own and she has all she needs like 46" lcd tv,toys,bikes,pink room,dvd,consoles,games,clothes,karaoke,good school,art school,karate new aircond in her room,new furniture,i pay for all her foods and mi,health insurance and some other insurances for when she is older etc etc. and my love and care.

Sorry but if I heard it correctly you buy for a 6 year old girl a 46" TV. I think this is way over the board. I would never buy my kid (I have a boy of 8 months) at the age of 6 years a 46" TV. You are very chai-dee but it makes your situation not better. What you actually do is that you spoil her at that young age and she will expect it from you all her life. You also bought insurance for her? This is the typical Isaan scam for farangs to buy insurance for some step kids. I guess you know that the guardian is your aunty and she can cancel that insurance, even if she looses half of the money that you paid in.

i treat my fiance the same with phones,tablet,our vacations spent in nice hotels around thailand,always eat in quality resturantes,buy her clothes,hairstyles,braces for teeth,

paid for her ipad,and all lifes comforts she has them as well as also love and care.i ring her everyday without fail and she emails me also daily and we chat at times on cam if we are not tired.my mother and young son have not met her but will do in january and they talkon the phone and online on cam.

Thats's fine I guess. I too bought my lady an iPad and an iPod. She didn't wanted an iPhone as an iPod can do exactly the same and she really appreciates the Samsung Cooper and don't want to change it to another phone as this was the first present I bought for her.

i found her long lost father for her which made her very happy and took her,him and her younger brother for 1 week vacation to hua hin...all so she is happy which she is.it was a warm and lovely reuniting time.the raw emotion that poured out after not having seen each other for about 15 years brought tears all around.we had a great time.

I think this is ok.

since the news of our baby i have had big porfessional extension built onto the aunties house with ensuite,furniture etc etc which will only be used until the visa is approved.

What will happen to the furniture after the visa is approved. Whatever you bought you will not get back. The 46" TV might also go to the aunty if you all leave for Australia.

all the babies needs are all in place.i am happy to spend and give as i love her very much and i feel she loves me too.it is a genuine relationship based on love and respect.

Let's hope everything will work out for you.

to the business i stock it with goods on occasions and have paid for a huge roof to cover all the shop/patio/car parking area again for comfort for them all.

Your fiancee gets no money for working 16 hours a day and you actually expanded a shop doesn't even belong to her. Sorry but I think I would never do that.

since we have been together the aunty has not had to pay 1 satang towards my fiance and her daughter who lovingly calls me dad.

I think the aunty knows that you will pay for everything, so your fiancee and the autnty have a deal that you pay for everything.

since her pregnancy i have paid all doctors bills and expenses and already paid the 40,000 baht for a private room for the birth and for a good doctor to deliver the baby.

Will your child be born at Aek Udon? I too wanted my baby boy born in Aek Udon but both my inlaws and wife told me she wants to born the baby at a government hospital because it is free and we only paid 3000 Baht for a three day stay at a VIP room. The birth was a success and I left 5000 Baht tip for the nurses and the doctor for such a good job they did.

she tells me and has told me there is no love in the home for them...all is about money.all is about material things like what others have from farangs and what she hasnt.

This is normal. It's not only the aunty but this is almost everywhere in Isaan. You need to control the situation from the beginning but I think you have been to generous and it will be expected from you until the rest of your life.

please understand i am not trying to big note myself that i give,give,give and spend,spend ,spend on them as i do it from my heart and as my way to show i love them.

To be honest you should had from the beginning not shown any money and play the game of being poor. I did that with my wife when I met her and lived with her parents for 6 months none-stop on a budget of 10,000 Baht. From the beginning they were not after money and after almost 3 years the situation hasn't changed. All in all I have a great relationship to my wife's parents and they even stay next to our house.

when i arrive in thailand i fly her into bangkok and we meet at the airport everytime and i leave thailand the day i leave her.

I suggested the same before to my wife to come down to Bangkok to pick me up but she said it is a waste of money as we would fly a few hours later to Udon or Sakon Nakhon.

there are no other men or woman involved and we are honest and faithful to each other and all is going along very well and we are very happy and excited about our future.

I am happy to hear that. I can also guarantee that my wife is very faithful to me and I am as well.

although the aunty would love a big new house and a brand new car from me...she just isnt going to get these desires or dreams as i am not a millionaire.

You have given to much already to the aunty. A house and a car is also not your problem.

besides she has several houses and farms and works high up in a big hotel so she is well off financially and her husband has just retired and once worked o/s for many years

since the pregnancy i send now 10,000 plus the money i leave equates to 15,000 per month which i feel is enough to live comfortably.

Yes, this is more then enough.

now comes my question.....

but 1st...i need to say...1 month ago i was told her aunty is buying a new car so our baby can go home in it from the hospital.

OK here comes my story. My FIL has a very old pickup truck which he mainly uses for his construction work. I told my wife that I am going to buy a car before the baby is born, because I live here in Isaan and don't always wanted to ask my FIL to drive me around. If he has to drive me around he would loose money not working that day. In the beginning I offered him money but he felt very upset and shy taking money from me. I went with my wife to Toyota and they declined the finance and asked me to pay cash for the new car. We ended up at Isuzu and I bought the MU7 under my name with a 3 year finance contract. Even the building materials for our house was purchased under my name but I do have to say that I have 10-% faith in my wife and inlaws but I would have done the same in any Western country.

i told my fiance that this wasnt needed,they already had a good 4x4 only a few years old anyway the hospital is only a few km away.

What did your fiancee told you when you told her.

if she wanted a new car that was not my business but i didnt want to hear talk of..so that baby can be picked up from the hospital in a new car.

I really wanted to have my baby son being picked up in a new car because the pickup from my FIL (15 years) had only two doors and felt very uncomfortable.

it worried me to hear this as it sounded a little absurd.

Yes in your situation it wouldn't make sense because your plan is moving to Australia but your financee must have known about that and somehow agreed to it.

i said i didnt want to hear our babies name linked to the purchase of a new car as i could feel what it may lead to.

Trouble

i booked my flight last sunday and emailed her the itinerary.

the next day aunty took delivery of a 600,000 + bht new car,

You will be condemned to pay for that car before you can leave with your fiancee.

by some stroke of bad luck that afternoon my fiances ex husband ( married but no papers ) supposedly turned up and demanded 200,000 baht or he would come and harrass her daughter.they had 2 days to pay him.

Why not tell your fiancee to tell the ex to have his daughter for a while.

when i rang her i could tell something was not right.

when i was told he had arrived when he has never ever seen the little girl and left there lives nearly 6 yrs ago i was shocked.

My guess the ex found out that Aunty wants to clean you up or they are in together. I would be also carefully to assume your fiancee is innocent on that. Their is a fair chance that she might be also in that game involved but I let you decide.

when i was told the ransom money was needed to be paid i was in true shock.

i said,go to the police station ( also they have a relative who is a policeman ).

Police don't get involved that. No crime has been committed.

i said you must report it.

you cant pay as he may come back next month and want more.

i was told thai police arent like police in farangland...i know that in many cases there is corruption,scams,set ups etc, but to protect a little girl from kidnap is a different matter.

I will say it again. Ask your fiancee to let the daughter go back to him. She will be in no time back. She should actually congratulate him that he wants to take care of her. Of course your fiancee and you don't want her to go back to her father but call it a bluff.

i said the poilce would probably send an undercover officer to be at the shop and witness the extortion and arrest him straight away as it is a very serious offence especially involving respectable citizens and a little 5 yr old girl.

Who is that respectable citizen? The aunty? Forget the police.

it then became a bit of an arguement between us.my fiance has since gone to relatives and i am told borrowed the 200,000 bht and paid him.

Absolute bullshit. You are in for a big scam. This guy has no rights for the 200k and it sounds to me that they want to dry and get us much money as they can get. I would almost bet with you your fiancee is in on that deal. Sorry to say because you seems to be an honest and nice guy.

our baby is due on the 11th august,i am due there soon,i had just booked my ticket,the aunty just paid for the new car.

Why would they push you for the money before the baby is born? I can assure you know already that your trip this time is only about paying money. You are very happy because your baby is born, properly you don't even speak the Isaan language nor Thai and you might not even know what is said. Don't count on your fiancee that she will translate everything for you.

she didnt get a new house like all the others she compares my fiance with and calls her a failure but she did get 2 room extensions,huge roofing,a new kitchen and not a bht to spend on her niece or granddaughter in nearly 3 yrs.she also adopted the litle girl and has the legal papers since the father left before she was born so shes a guardian.

If she adopted the little girl and is the guardian now then you should consider flying only your fiancee and your child back to Australia. I would actually double check the Thai government documents that she is legally the guardian.

she didnt get a new car but unfortunately i think she got 33% of her new car as now since my fiance has borrowed the money to pay and i am the one who supports her one doesnt have to be a brain surgeon to work out...i will be paying for the loan and if it is all true which i somehow doubt he can come back next month and demand more.

surely if it was all true they would of gone to police.....my fiance is still a mess and is still in fear but seems to think the problem is fixed ...well hopeful anyway.

thank you for your time and please leave your opinion.

regardless if i have been scammed or not...surely one would of needed to involve the police at a high level for the safety of the child and so that this man doesnt come back next month and demand...maybe more...500,000 bht since he was paid what he demanded this time.

No crime has been really done.

my last point..surely the police in a case like this would help or has thailand got that bad like many people are saying in forums etc about scams,setups,extortion etc by police

I wish you good luck.

[Tywais]

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