Lazy Cops

[The Skipper]

I had a horrible experience the other day involving soon Ex and her family.

We have been seperated for 4 months and I live 1 hour from her mom and two sisters where she stays in a nice 3rd floor apartment. She owns the land next door.

I live at Baan Chao Praya, across the river.

I gave her $12,000usd to hold her over till divorce, then appx $100.000usd and a promise to look after her if necesssary, very friendly type split. I thought..

(She was earning 6.000 bht / month working hard when we met)

She went bonkers the other day, found out my address, and conned the building guards into getting into my new apt. I got home on Tuesday and she was puking drunk and fell hard on the bathroom floor. Puke all over the bathroom.

I thought she hit her head and called her friends asking to contact her family.

In the meantime I ate a bad meal that day and was puking out the thai taxi the whole way across Bangkok coming home. Covered in puke, diarea and sweat I dragged her into the living room. gave her a pillow and spent the net 10 minutes almost dying in the bathroom . When I came out she was up but incoherant and crying etc.

I got a call from her sister and said, I will look after her and put her in a cab in the morning.

I spent the entire net day in bed, sick as a DOG!

She now is refusing to go acting wierd, I thought she might jump off my balcony.

I've been trying to give her time to cope and she stayed that entire day and nite.

Next morning I was feeling better. At 9am I asked her to leave and I will walk her to the lobby, promised to look after her forever if necessary, She won't go!

Ok I gave her a warning that building security will get involved soon.

I call but the building security guard won't get involved so I dragged her out the door with a struggle.

I got the door locked and she spent the net 2 hours hurling herself against my door. Still no security after repeated calls. I asked security to call police, they tell ME to call police and give me number. THEY WONT HELP.

They were in trouble for letting her into my place and thai security are very timid I guess?

Her sisters were called and they finally came but started joining in bashing my door with a big chair for another 2 hours. I had done nothing to them and we were best friends last I saw them.

4 hours after this started the Thai Police got there. The police station is about 150 meters away I find out later.

I opened the door and the 3 girls rushed into my home and attacked me with their shoes and ripping my pockets going for my wallet, phone and bashing me, hitting, kicking me scratching.

(It probably sounded like the flight recorder on Flight 93 over Pittsburgh)

My shirt was ripped off, my pants pockets ripped off. I was only able to hang onto my phone and wallet and was not really defending myself. I am big and could beat them up I suppose, but really i just wanted them off me and out of MY home.

The cops decided this would be their afternoon entertainment and did nothing.

Finally a building security guard helped me and got them off.

Everyone got banged up a bit I suspect. I did!

I had packed my suitcase an hour earlier and was going to the beach after the Thai cops remove them from the hallway but was astonished when they let them in after banging my door for 4 hours and then watching an attack.

Now I look and my suitcase is missing with my passport, $1500usd cash, bankbook, all my important #s etc.

It disappeared in front of two cops and a security officer. in my tiny one bedroom apt. It obviously went over my balcony and must have been thrown out by one of the sisters.

We all end up at the police station and the cops would not let me speak and gave me a form for a lost passport. My wife admitted they took my bag and that they gave it back to me and the cops say OK. The security says he didn"t see my bag either.

Nothing else they will do.

Today I went to police again with a lawyer and they called her and she is claiming assault.

The two cops involved made no report and the building guard saw nothing he says.

Now I am most likely facing charges of assault soon!!

She also is threatning to tell the police I take DRUGS!

I also am very afraid to stay at my new apt. knowing that security might not ever come in emergency.

[DavieA]

Shit dude....very sorry to hear. Certainly not the first time either. Sounds like you need to find a good lawyer for this one! I hate to sound negative but.....The sad thing, and the thing I hate most about Thailand, is that amongst all the lies and corruption, you will almost certainly be the one to lose.

[ColPyat]

I had a horrible experience the other day involving soon Ex and her family.

Thanks for the colorful description. I planned having my dinner soon...

Anyhow, if i were you i would relocate for a extended holiday to some other country as soon as i got my new passport. Before that i would relocate where you cannot be found that easily. This situation does not sound nice at all, and most likely will get worse.

[taxexile]

I live at Baan Chao Praya, across the river.

do you live on a high floor ?

[Thaipwriter]

Sorry to hear about your plight, not sure what to say really other than check into a hotel and keep a low profile for a few days.

Go to a decent hospital and have them do a pee test for drugs under controlled circumstances. Get them to retain the results. This should help if she goes down the "drug user" lies route.

Good Luck

[corkscrew]

hel_l hath no fury like......

You know the ending to that sentence.

[The Skipper]

A sad irony is I had left her everything at the prior address and only had my carryon suitcase and now that's gone too.

I still don't have a tally of what's all missing.

The receptionist in the lobby handed me my TV remote saying one of them tossed it from her bag.

I can see how a police force has better things to do than attend family squabbles but this was well beyond an arguement.

Never open a door for a Thai Cop untill your lawyer is there.

[marshbags]

The best way to go is to cut your losses and walk away.

( I hope you are renting by the way to be able to do this. )

Take the report issued re.your passport lost ? and go get a replacement at your Embassy.

Report to the bank about your Bankbook as soon as possible if you haven,t done so already.

If she has access, withdraw your savings and open another acc. somewhere else if possible at your new location.

Go somewhere you know she will not find you /where she is not likely to show up.

You have 2 choices really, (1) stay and live a life of hel_l. (2) move away and start living again.

Life is to short to put up with this hastle and do not think it can be sorted out between you.

The chances of this are very remote and you deserve better.

I get really upset when i see good people being took advantage of, as has happened to several mates, just like yourself.

It could get really nasty Skipper so get the hel_l out of it, now.

What ever you do , don,t drown your sorrows and finish up getting out of control of your common sense, and unless you have a mate you can trust don,t let on where you are going.

Good luck and maybe you can let us know your well and sorted out, remember most members care and will offer help and sound advice, should you need it.

marshbags

[taxexile]

the advice given so far seems sound , i would add that , if your lawyer hasnt already done so on your behalf , you should report the whole incident in all its detail ,( especially the passport and bank books and important documents ), to the police and retain a copy of that report.

the police dont get too involved in domestics here , unless lots of violence is involved.

good luck.

[Thaipwriter]

The receptionist in the lobby handed me my TV remote saying one of them tossed it from her bag.

<deleted> scum

Thai or not Thai, i dont give a 5hit!

[opothai]

is this kind of thing a thai woman thing or are there other cultures that act in this way. way over the top.

i know western women can act strangly sometimes but on th whole they would act with a certain amount of decorum and self respect.

sorry to hear about your predicament skip

[monochaser]

My sincere condolences Skipper, that is a major nitemare and you are the last person here who deserves it. I hope you get out of this situation with at least part of your ass left. I'm sure you will pull thru this craziness and I hope some people here can learn from it. Dam man, that whole thing really sucks

[terdsak_12]

Getting the birds is not the problem, it's getting rid of the buggers. Thai cops won't get involved in domestics. i've been down this road a few times in the past, suicide bids etc.

Lay low for a few weeks, they'll get bored and move on. Saves you 100K too!!!

[monochaser]

She's going to tell the cops that YOU are on the drugs? what kind of irony is that?

[terdsak_12]

Getting the birds is not the problem, it's getting rid of the buggers. Thai cops won't get involved in domestics. i've been down this road a few times in the past, suicide bids etc.

Lay low for a few weeks, they'll get bored and move on. Saves you 100K too!!!

[bino]

Sorry to hear about your situation Skipper. if I were you, I'd consider making a case with the building management about the security guard.

I've been in a similar situation with a previous Thai girlfriend. Not long after we had broken up, she showed up at my building and convinced the security guards to let her in. It turned into several hours of her banging on my door and screaming.

I was heartless and never opened the door. I couldn't... the next girl was in there with me! I can't imagine the scene that would have happened if I opened the door and the ex found another woman in there.

The security guards had tried calling my apartment many times. I had heard the internal house phone ringing and had ignored it to the point of unplugging it from the wall. I knew it had to be the ex GF. Even if it was someone else, I didn't want to be disturbed. I figured that they would think that I am not at home and turn her away.

I would guess that one of my neighbors made a call, and the security guard had to come and take her away. I could hear her arguing in Thai with the guard before things got quiet. I think she was fully intending to camp out on my doorstep and keep on screaming and banging until I opened the door or arrived home.

The next morning, I got a nasty letter from the building management about the noise and disturbance caused by the whole ordeal, and how incidents like this were not acceptable in this building.

I sent them back a equally nasty letter telling them that the security guard was clearly negligent when he admitted the person to the building without my authorization and approval. I paid a high rent for the apartment to get the controlled security, which had been violated by the guard.

The whole incident could have been avoided and was caused by him neglecting his responsibility to the building policy. The building policy was supposed to be incredibly strict... All visitors had to be announced / approved by the tenant, and they had to exchange their ID for a visitors pass. They would not allow delivery people in the building. If I ordered a pizza, the security would call me and I had to go down to the lobby to pick it up.

In my letter I demanded a written apology from the building and from the security guard, and an explanation of why the security policy was ignored. I never got this, but the security guard was gone the next day. Not another word was said during the rest of my tenancy there, and the security policy was followed to the letter.

is this kind of thing a thai woman thing or are there other cultures that act in this way. way over the top.

A Thai woman thing? I wouldn't go as far as to say that, because we men all know that hel_l hath no fury like a scorned woman- anywhere in the world. However, Thailand is the only place where anything like this has ever happened to me, and quite likely one of the only places where someone could easily convince a security guard to admit them to the place they are supposed to be securing without authorization.

Needless to say, the new girl vanished after that... stopped answering and returning my calls! This is the thing that I was most upset about... she was hot!

Hope it all works out for you Skipper- and you can get all of your documentation back in order with minimal grief!

Edited April 15, 2006 by bino

[jing jing]

Lay low for a few weeks, they'll get bored and move on. Saves you 100K too!!!

Sure, she'll forget all about that 100 grand (4,000,000 baht or so) you promised her in a few weeks and just leave you alone... after all, she's got that kind of money coming to her every week.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, you've got yourself one helluva situation there Skipper. This one has all the earmarks of a tragic downward spiral that could really end in tears if not handled very, very carefully. At least you didn't mention kids, so I'm assuming you don't have any with her, which is a huge plus under these circumstances.

From the information you've shared here with us, her behavior is beyond erratic and unpredictable and crosses well into criminal territory. She has broken into your apartment. She has stolen money and valuables from you. She has threatened to frame you with a felony drug charge. Is this really someone you feel deserves a 4,000,000 baht gift -- on top of the 480,000 baht you've already given her? Please tell us you've decided against giving away any more of your money to this thieving witch!

I would join my fellow members in urging you to immediately disappear from this woman's life; absolutely, completely, totally cut off any further contact with her except through your lawyer. Go wherever you have to go, as far as it may be, to be inaccessable to her -- it doesn't sound as though money is a problem for you... yet.

Let us know what transpires, Skipper. I know many of us here can read your story with great sympathy and say, to quote the old cliche, "there but for the grace of God go I."

[saeb]

Hi Skip,

Sorry about your situation . It's awful when they lose it...........

If you move - do not tell anyone where you are going. Not even your mates as a pound to a penny

she'll threaten to dub them in for dope or something unless they say where you are.

I've seen it happen.

Pity that the police were not more helpful. In my case I was shacked up with a lunatic for a while until the heavies from a casino started turning up wanting gambling debts paid.

I gave her the option of cards or me. She chose cards so I threw her out.

She went ballistic. Totally nuts.

For a week.

We ended up in Lumpini cop shop (very friendly and efficient) who gave her an option.

If they saw her in Lumpini police area again it was the monkey house.

She ranted and wailed about drugs, my visa being over for a couple of days, I was a fugitive from the FBI......yack...yack...yack.

They locked her up for a few days and that was the last I ever heard from her. Hands up to Lumpini MIB.

They did suggest that I change my address though.....and not tell anyone.

Hope it works out for you - just stay cool and away from the Mekhong bottle.

[markuk]

is this kind of thing a thai woman thing or are there other cultures that act in this way. way over the top.

it happens the world around. A women scorned and all that!!!

[greenwanderer108]

I gave her $12,000usd to hold her over till divorce, then appx $100.000usd and a promise to look after her if necesssary

Wow! I just realized I've been in the wrong business....teaching and writing all these years for pennies, when I should have been seducing physcho chicks getting over split ups with rich farang...

Got her number? I'll take her mind off of this stressful situation!

Well, on the serious tip, it's the flaw of the foreigner to expect/demand the Thai to act in a certain manner....money talks but Thais will be Thais and This is Thailand...

Regards

[leftcross]

yes 100,000 dollars sounds a ridiculous amount for someone who was earning 6000 baht a month.

my advice - dont pay her fkin penny and disappear

[samran]

A woman scorned and all that...yeah right

Thai women are in their own league. I've got one as a mother, a few are aunts, cousins etc etc. I love them all to death, but they are all mad as cut snakes, and it doesn't take much to push them over the edge. Luckily, they mellow after 35-40 odd years of marriage! Just ask my father.

Just my two cents...

[hopeless]

100,000 usd wasnt enough for this crazy woman, perhaps she deserved more? 'farang mai jai dee mai?'

[monochaser]

Skip, some serious and solid advice for you man; move out of Thailand to the Phillipines, Cambo or Indo. I'll come visit you I promise. Let her try and find you there

[cobra]

Incredible, this is right out of Pulp Fiction,

I've seen GFs hanging on the leg of guys, being dragged, screaming, begging, crying,

Whether it's the potential loss of a golden goose, fatal attraction, or mental instability,

Obviously you have to remove yourself from this / the situation, most likely move, preferably to another city given the details of this nightmare,

[siam-i-am]

Incredible, this is right out of Pulp Fiction,

I've seen GFs hanging on the leg of guys, being dragged, screaming, begging, crying,

Whether it's the potential loss of a golden goose, fatal attraction, or mental instability,

Obviously you have to remove yourself from this / the situation, most likely move, preferably to another city given the details of this nightmare,

Tough one skip....and now you have a Thai lawyer!!! good luck your goona need it

[terdsak_12]

don't pay her a bean mate.

[The Skipper]

Yea, I think I'll let her sisters look after her now with that $1,500

I did talk with my sister and she has heard horrible things about me.

No wonder her sisters wanted to kill me.

[terdsak_12]

It's the classic Thai short term thinking pattern, if she'd kept schtum she could have got $100,000K, but no!!!!!!!

[p_brownstone]

I would suggest you move too Skipper – but not for any of the reasons previously mentioned here.

Simply put every Thai in your Condominium, plus most in the vicinity, are laughing up their sleeves at the dumb Farang who got involved with a low class Thai girl who caused him such problems.

The reaction of the Police is not at all surprising either; why should they intervene against someone of their own level of society - particularly against a Farang who, they consider, has lost a great deal of respect anyway by getting himself involved with such a person.

You seem to be a reasonably educated and affluent chap; why on earth do you – and so many people like you here in Thailand – get caught up with these uneducated women, take them as your “girlfriends” and are then surprised when their dark side comes out to bite you.

There’s a Thai word “Sandarn” which basically means the individuals’ traits, attitudes and behaviour patterns which are inherited from one’s parents; the Thais believe these cannot be altered, regardless of how a persons lifestyle may change or improve. A Thai at your level of wealth and education would very rarely get deeply involved with someone from a much lower class than himself because he knows what to expect.

Not a flame, just an observation.

Patrick