Is your Thai GF/Wife also your best friend?

[Southerndrawl]

I recently went through a breakup with my Thai GF, and Ive been missing her every day even though its probably better that we arent together any more. What I did not expect was not only missing her physically, but we also did almost everything together as constant companions and I realize that she was my best friend during our time together. Despite the fact that I felt it was more of a financial relationship, I still feel as though I have lost my best friend.

I didnt have a big number of friends to begin with, and losing her really took the wind out of my sails.

My ex gf decided that if I was no longer willing to support her, she was not going to have anything to do with me any more, which evidently meant she was really not my friend to begin with. Im shocked that although I did not care for her so much emotionally, I still feel like I have lost my best friend. Im will try to be careful the next time around, maybe not rely so much on one person, and try to make more friends in Thailand just in case my relationship in the future doesnt work out.

Is your Thai GF/wife also your best friend, and if you no longer had a relationship with her, do you think you would remain friends? Do you have any ex Thai gf that you remain friends with?

Edited August 31, 2013 by Southerndrawl

[Indrid Cold]

My best friend is still back in sweden. The gf i have now is very much on friendship, helping each other basis. I doubt that she would still be the same friend to me if we break up but to me it is always like that thai or not. People just goes different ways. It would be a great loss to me though loosing my gf since she is a goverment official and that is very convenient many times, i wish there was more love involved on both sides but i guess i can not have everything, at least not now.

[smokie36]

She is both....but I make sure to have other friendships too....its healthie all round for both of us.

[i claudius]

Yes she is my best friend here in Thailand ,but i also have a bestie back in the UK ,i also have many friends here in Thailand , but at the end of the day my wife and i like being together loads

[i claudius]

Southendrawl ,yes i was married to a thai girl 23 years ago ,we are still friends she now lives in the UK and has 3 kids ,my wife knows her well and when they meet they get along ok ,

[btwretail]

I think, partners in Farang/Thai relationships in general spend much more time together that other non-mixed couples.

This is because, we Farangs are basically "lost", when we live in Thailand and the Thais are "lost" if they move to our country. We get dependent on each other i daily life, which automatically brings people closer.

So I think many Farang/Thai relationships are very close, which is good and bad at the same time. I also think many relationships stop, because the partners simply are too much together and things become too intense.

Edited August 31, 2013 by btwretail

[chrisinth]

When you discover that your wife is indeed your best friend, then your marriage will likely succeed. There are things we talk about that we won't discuss with others. and things we do that is no business of others...............

But, there are things about my past that she still doesn't know, and things about hers that I don't know, however if asked either way, there would be no hiding it. That is what makes friendships; trust.

That said, we have only been married for 14 years, so there are still some secrets to be discussed on rainy nights if the TV is cr@p.............

IMEHO of course.

[wayned]

My best friend was my avatar, Joey, until he died in January. Now my best friend is my 13 year old Golden Lab, Buffy. My wife and I seem to have enjoyed aggravating each other over the last 14 years of our marriage and it continues on a daily basis.

[geriatrickid]

No.

My best friend has 4 legs and better breath than many Thais I know.

Anyway, I'm sick and bitter. My human companion is sitting here watching the muay thai fights and eating something stinky. I'm sick because someone shared a horrid cold with me and my sinuses are ready to explode and my throat hurts. I know the culprit is sitting here..........

[HeijoshinCool]

In fact she feels more like a good friend now, than a girlfriend. If we ever did break up, I expect that she (unlike you-know-who) will remain a long-term friend. I truly like her as a person.

[breadbin]

I recently went through a breakup with my Thai GF, and Ive been missing her every day even though its probably better that we arent together any more. What I did not expect was not only missing her physically, but we also did almost everything together as constant companions and I realize that she was my best friend during our time together. Despite the fact that I felt it was more of a financial relationship, I still feel as though I have lost my best friend.

I didnt have a big number of friends to begin with, and losing her really took the wind out of my sails.

My ex gf decided that if I was no longer willing to support her, she was not going to have anything to do with me any more, which evidently meant she was really not my friend to begin with. Im shocked that although I did not care for her so much emotionally, I still feel like I have lost my best friend. Im will try to be careful the next time around, maybe not rely so much on one person, and try to make more friends in Thailand just in case my relationship in the future doesnt work out.

Is your Thai GF/wife also your best friend, and if you no longer had a relationship with her, do you think you would remain friends? Do you have any ex Thai gf that you remain friends with?

So, you admit that she was with you for money but your still missing her even though as I'm sure you'd agree that she was taking advantage if you. If you had no income or money she wouldn't have wanted to know.

My advice, get over get now, wise up, grow up and find someone decent out of a bar environment,

Do not ever offer any money for anything or buy anything other than a bunch of cheap flowers. Offer to pay 50/50 for dates.

If she keeps coming back then she may be a keeper. If she doesn't shed after money.

Heed this advice and you'll be ok.

[Neeranam]

My wife is not my best friend, she is my wife, which has many other just as important benefits.

I find communication with my wife very difficult and I don't mean because of the language.

Edited August 31, 2013 by Neeranam

[kannot]

No! my ex girlfriend of 15 years is my best friend...........that's all it is though.

[somtampet]

No.

My best friend has 4 legs and better breath than many Thais I know.

Anyway, I'm sick and bitter. My human companion is sitting here watching the muay thai fights and eating something stinky. I'm sick because someone shared a horrid cold with me and my sinuses are ready to explode and my throat hurts. I know the culprit is sitting here..........

YOUR dog watrches muai thai and has a cold lol lol

[somtampet]

My partner of 9 years is my lover and good freiend,but i have friends that live in Pattaya too.She works 6 days a week so i have plenty of time in the day to do what i want,then we meet up and start the best buddies scenario again

[kevvy]

You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without .Sometimes I think my wife is so amazing that I don't know why she is with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make her happy, then I'm everything I want to be. My wife is everything to me . Life is good with her.

[Southerndrawl]

You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without .Sometimes I think my wife is so amazing that I don't know why she is with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make her happy, then I'm everything I want to be. My wife is everything to me . Life is good with her.

Yes the hard part is finding that someone...

[JLCrab]

In many cases you don't find that someone; she finds you.

[David48]

Nice OP Southerdrawl ... ... I gave it a 'like'

They reckon when you find a job you love ... it never feels like work.

Same maybe when you find a partner who is also your best friend ... it's never hard work then.

My other half is MissFarmGirl and what's nice is that we always have something to chat about ... even though we are (currently) 24/7

[ToddWeston]

We've been attached at the hip for 23 years - met in uni owned our business and worked beside each other from 9 to 7 at least 4 or 5 days a week. Best friend 99% of the time - we only have time for family. I do believe whomever goes first the other with follow shortly thereafter.

I hope you can find happiness it really does exist.

Edited August 31, 2013 by ToddWeston

[Kifalo]

Love my wife and we do every thing together. Either In Thailand or the uk. Is that not what marriage is all about?

[Southerndrawl]

Love my wife and we do every thing together. Either In Thailand or the uk. Is that not what marriage is all about?

I think that helps a marriage alot if you are friends as well as companions and lovers. In this situation, I would always ask myself "would you do that to a friend" and if the answer is no, then I would try and not do it such as look at other women or flirt.

My ex GF and my ex wife were both very cool girls, didnt care what people thought, and were free spirits. But I never really considered my ex wife my real friend, but she was a great wife and a great wingman(girl) because she always covered my 6. (6 oclock position in dog fights is your most vulnerable for those non aviation people).

Its strange that I didnt consider my farang ex wife as much of a friend as my ex Thai GF. My farang ex wife and I had so much in common, religion, liked the same music, loved travel, but she just wasnt someone I would hang out with if she wasnt my wife. My Thai ex GF didnt like any of the same music, different religion, much younger, but I would consider hanging out with her as a friend if she wasnt my GF.

I have to say that I have really been able to focus on what I really want when I return to Thailand thanks to some great responses here and to my previous post. The TV voice of reason and experience is awesome and thanks for all the great opinions and suggestions.

Edited September 1, 2013 by Southerndrawl

[Songhua]

Yes

[pattayadingo]

Yes.

She loves me so much she continually gives me her Thai germs, colds and flu.

I have Thai and foreign friends too so I am never at a loss for friendship or people to go watch football, drink or generally chat with.

I am friends with 2 of my ex ladies much to the chagrin of this one who has a 'hot heart'.

Many years ago I learned never to ditch my friends or ignore them in the heat of the new love. The love dies away but true friendship remains.

[NoshowJones]

My best friend is still back in sweden. The gf i have now is very much on friendship, helping each other basis. I doubt that she would still be the same friend to me if we break up but to me it is always like that thai or not. People just goes different ways. It would be a great loss to me though loosing my gf since she is a goverment official and that is very convenient many times, i wish there was more love involved on both sides but i guess i can not have everything, at least not now.

To the OP. You should never have been supporting her in the first place. Helping her, yes, but actually supporting her, no way. When I decided I wanted to live in Thailand after a few holidays in the country, I admit that eventually, I started looking for a wife, I dated market girls, shop girls etc, before I met my wife. Any girl I married, had to be working and have her own money, there was no way I was going to support either her, her family, or her parents, help them from time to time financially, yes, but completely support them? No chance. I have been with my wife for eight years now, she has her money, and I have mine.

[NoshowJones]

When you discover that your wife is indeed your best friend, then your marriage will likely succeed. There are things we talk about that we won't discuss with others. and things we do that is no business of others...............

But, there are things about my past that she still doesn't know, and things about hers that I don't know, however if asked either way, there would be no hiding it. That is what makes friendships; trust.

That said, we have only been married for 14 years, so there are still some secrets to be discussed on rainy nights if the TV is cr@p.............

IMEHO of course.

Good post chrisinth, but I believe what happened in my wifes past before she met me is none of my business, and vice versa. If I found out now that my wife was a bargirl, my attitude would be, it does not matter, it was in the past. We have had eight happy years together, that's what counts.

[2unique]

When you discover that your wife is indeed your best friend, then your marriage will likely succeed. There are things we talk about that we won't discuss with others. and things we do that is no business of others...............

 

But, there are things about my past that she still doesn't know, and things about hers that I don't know, however if asked either way, there would be no hiding it. That is what makes friendships; trust.

 

That said, we have only been married for 14 years, so there are still some secrets to be discussed on rainy nights if the TV is  cr@p.............

 

IMEHO of course.

Good post chrisinth, but I believe what happened in my wifes past before she met me is none of my business, and vice versa. If I found out now that my wife was a bargirl, my attitude would be, it does not matter, it was in the past. We have had eight happy years together, that's what counts.

Whatever was in her past made her the person you fell in love with today, it's often better off left in the past.

You can't change her past (nor should you if you could -see Butterfly Effect) and ultimately you didn't walk her past - if a person can't let it go then they should only look for young virgins with no life experiences to have a boring yet controlled existence with.

My wife is a great and good friend. We mesh well and share secrets but as much as I wish I could remove any painful experiences she's ever had, a better option is to heal them moving forwards.

... And load her up with fresh pain for I am a man after all!

Sent from Android please excuse errors in type or judgement

[NoshowJones]

When you discover that your wife is indeed your best friend, then your marriage will likely succeed. There are things we talk about that we won't discuss with others. and things we do that is no business of others...............

But, there are things about my past that she still doesn't know, and things about hers that I don't know, however if asked either way, there would be no hiding it. That is what makes friendships; trust.

That said, we have only been married for 14 years, so there are still some secrets to be discussed on rainy nights if the TV is cr@p.............

IMEHO of course.

Good post chrisinth, but I believe what happened in my wifes past before she met me is none of my business, and vice versa. If I found out now that my wife was a bargirl, my attitude would be, it does not matter, it was in the past. We have had eight happy years together, that's what counts.

Whatever was in her past made her the person you fell in love with today, it's often better off left in the past.

You can't change her past (nor should you if you could -see Butterfly Effect) and ultimately you didn't walk her past - if a person can't let it go then they should only look for young virgins with no life experiences to have a boring yet controlled existence with.

My wife is a great and good friend. We mesh well and share secrets but as much as I wish I could remove any painful experiences she's ever had, a better option is to heal them moving forwards.

... And load her up with fresh pain for I am a man after all!

Sent from Android please excuse errors in type or judgement

Very well said.

[JusticeGB]

My best friend in Thailand is my wife. We have been married 9 years. She works 6 days a week so I also have time for myself. Many farangs here do not appreciate or understand their wives. In the UK you would give your wife housekeepong money why do some guys have a problem with this in Thailand. Does your food come from thin air?

[Torrens54]

When you discover that your wife is indeed your best friend, then your marriage will likely succeed. There are things we talk about that we won't discuss with others. and things we do that is no business of others...............

But, there are things about my past that she still doesn't know, and things about hers that I don't know, however if asked either way, there would be no hiding it. That is what makes friendships; trust.

That said, we have only been married for 14 years, so there are still some secrets to be discussed on rainy nights if the TV is cr@p.............

IMEHO of course.

Couldn't have said it better, so I won't even try.

We've lived here in Thailand previously, lived abroad and have now retired in CNX. Well, "I have retired" she won't allow me to do anything, except some cooking but she works around the house day and night taking care of me, our Teenage daughter and our two dogs, she even has time for gardening and to pray.

Having experienced disastrous relationships with Australian and European women in the past (and it wasn't always their fault, I contributed to the problems) I adore my wife and our daughter and don't know how I managed without them.

I can only wish that others can find the happiness and contentment that I have been lucky enough to discover, although that could be a tad difficult, as I have the Best Wife and Daughter in Thailand, if not the World!