How Did You Feel........

[BKK90210]

Just a question to help me prepare myself for the evitable up coming journey for the next stage of my life.

How did you all feel.....when you first moved to Thailand?

My gooosh I just can’t believe I’m here!

Or…..Nervous?....

Or…..ever asking yourself…”Did I make the right decision moving here?”

Or…..Well I’m here….now what next?

How did you overcome those butterfly feelings?

Edited April 19, 2006 by BKK90210

[chanchao]

Easy. I never made the conscious decision to move. But once in Thailand, I just never made the decision to leave.

[jdinasia]

Have I in fact moved here? ... came over for a semester at school .... still here 2.5 years later

[seonai]

Same with me Chanchao. I bought a one way ticket actually and stayed 5 years the first time. Now I am up to 15 years

[Boon Mee]

Absolutely, uniquivicably never had any 'Butterfly' feelings!

Felt right, right from the start.

[Thaising]

There is nothing I could express from my heart, that’s why I’m got stuck.

[Maigo6]

Horny.

[Jai Yen Yen]

Just a question to help me prepare myself for the evitable up coming journey for the next stage of my life.

How did you all feel.....when you first moved to Thailand?

"At last" was what I thought.

P.S. Maigo6 - please don't write "Horny" next to your avatar of Maggie. I haven't eaten yet.

[astral]

I was in seventh heaven............

[ThaiPauly]

Met the woman of my dreams when I came to visit my Son... moved heaven and earth to stay here.

BEST decison of my life

Happy? You bet.. wanna go back Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Miss my other two kids and Mum and Dad but they live their lives I have a right to live mine

[Donz]

good to hear, i will be moving end of next year or early 2008.

I cant wait to get there, it still seems like a life time away.

[Maigo6]

P.S. Maigo6 - please don't write "Horny" next to your avatar of Maggie. I haven't eaten yet.

Oh C'mon, everybody knows that Margaret Thatcher only became Prime Minister because she captured the Male vote with raw sex appeal.

[MarkBKK]

P.S. Maigo6 - please don't write "Horny" next to your avatar of Maggie. I haven't eaten yet.

Oh C'mon, everybody knows that Margaret Thatcher only became Prime Minister because she captured the Male vote with raw sex appeal.

You are sick.

[leftcross]

i used to get butterflys every time i had to go back to blighty after a holiday in thailand.

when i got the plane to move out here i felt like i was coming home.

nothing ever felt more right.

[chuchok]

How did I feel? I feel with my hands.Always have and always hope to.

[donna]

i came here with work. indonesia was my first choice so i didnt really want to be here! the first six months were hard for me.

but now i have been here coming up to 7 years and i love it.

[Patex]

...How did you all feel.....when you first moved to Thailand?...

What do you mean with "first"?

How they all feel? Don't know , for me it was something like:" Same shit - different country" .

[autonomous_unit]

I guess I am the only one who will give an answer along the lines of what you were hoping... for context, I consider my home to be where my wife is. When we take a trip, the hotel room (or tent!) feels like home to me as much as our apartments ever did. I call Thailand home now because that's where she has to be. If she didn't have to be here, or (god forbid) she wasn't in my life anymore, there would be no reason for me to stay here. I am not sure where I'd want to go next, but I don't think I'd ever really look back.

My first trip was for 10 days to meet my future inlaws. My second trip was to relocate permanently. I don't think any of my experiences were really all that surprising, but the depth and character of things is never quite what you expect before you experience them, no matter how much someone tells you about it.

I am not really a tourist kind of person, so I quickly got bored and started thinking about my career and how I was going to apply myself for the long haul (I was only 30 years old when we moved, and not of the trust-fund set). I ended up not really integrating very well before I got back on track doing consulting w/ overseas clients, and now I kind of regret the level of isolation I have here between frequent business trips and solo and email-based work. Previously I'd always worked in offices with at least a handful of other similarly educated and focused coworkers, so it is a double-whammy of a change. I do not really speak Thai even after two years, because I spend my work day in my home office (doing English writing and reading) while my wife is at work, and we speak English when together too.

We got busy with the boring stuff of life and probably only cooked our own food a few times a week. I have lately (with the move to our current residence with better kitchen equipment) taken a renewed interest in cooking, and trying to make things I like which are not available from the local Thai chefs. I rarely venture into the touristy central business district of Bangkok, and over the two years, I'd basically eaten almost all Thai food here and had kind of fallen into a rut of having the same half dozen dishes over and over. I have enough finicky preferences and demands about food that I cannot just randomly point and order things. I have to know what is in them, and that requires understanding Thai...

I don't know if that is useful information or not, but that is my experience making the big move here in somewhat similar circumstances to what you have described (wife educated in the US, married and living there for some time before relocating). I think the "nope, never worried" crowd are largely people who came here for their own individual satisfaction and then met partners here, which is a very different way to experience the move. I don't really know where your situation lies between the two variations.

[BKK90210]

I would like to thanks all the replies above

and.....AUTO_UNIT:

Thanks especially for your input. You always been a great help to me from all your replies.

Yep, my situation is same same as yours (wife educated in the US, 20 yrs marriage under our belt and living here in the US for some time before relocating). Actually my wife didn’t want to move back to Thailand originally but I had convinced her it’s time for us to move on doing and experiencing something new in our next half of our lives.

I always questioned myself “Are we making the right the decision to move to Thailand now?"

Just to give you a little taste of what I have been dealing with.

At 40 we have finally come to the junction middle point in our live that it’s time for us to move on and to try doing something new which will in turn gives us unique experiences and pleasures. I think we have accumulated quite a bit of acadamic degrees, knowledges, work and life experiences, along with money. We have a strong interest in design and homes building. We can work on the project all days and all nights without getting tired on it. We did this before and had made a sizable profit from them.

So I told her: Why don’t we just sell our house which have appreciated so much in value since we built it 2 yrs ago, then take the money+savings and move to Thailand?…..then we can develop the housing over there instead….thus in turn we will be doing something we truly love and give us pleasures so much.

Beside the points mentioned above……We used to think we have a good life and an american dream. We owned a fairly successful company for 14 yrs. But lately there seems to be something missing in our lives. Working on someone else projects is not “sanuk” any more. It becomes quite a mundane feeling…..A typical day in, day out of getting up in the morning, going to work, then getting paid for the job well done. There is no bliss in life or happiness in doing it anymore.

I read from somewhere that “Happiness” is…

1- Be able to do what you love (follows your passions)

2- Be able to control your own destiny

3- Be able to get helps when you need one

4- Be able to get reward you deserved (materials or non-materials)

So there you have it “my dilema”. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I took the time to think about the decision, or the fact that I thought it twice, or the fact that I began to understand it the third time we thought on it…..and why do I like Thailand.

All we know is this…. we will miss the USA, the great country (in our eyes) that gives us soo much. I’m sure that In the few years we will be looking back of how great things were back in the states. But somehow after our recent 4 weeks vacation there over the X’mas, something had happened. We just couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. All I know is that…..When we came back to the US I found things had changed and I saw things here differently than before, and within two weeks I were already thinking of ways to get back to Thailand. What do I miss SO MUCH now?? ….THAILAND!

We know when we move there, it will be an amazing new life beginning, discovering new ways of life, food, places, people, So I hope, it won’t all be as boring or terrifying as I originally thought.

Edited April 20, 2006 by BKK90210

[Neeranam]

I was in seventh heaven............ biggrin.gif

Careful - that has sexual connetations when translated into Thai.

When I first settled in Thailand I felt great, but the drink and drugs caused a lot of that.

I had a bit if fear when I first came here, who didn't? If they say they didn't they are not human, or lying.

I had a "pink cloud" phase lasting about a year when Thailand/Thais could do no wrong.

Then I become an 'expert' on all things to do with the country, when I'd stayed for a couple of years. I thought I could speak the language but on looking back I couldn't. After 3-5 years I realised that Thailand had a few things that didn't agree with me. I could speak the language after about 5 years.

After 12 years here permanently, I realise that Thailand is a great country - it's the foreigners that cause me most problems, or rather the way they act that makes Thai people think we're all the same.

The key to happiness in Thailand(or anywhere for that matter) for me is 'acceptance'. That old prayer works wonders for me - "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

OP - good luck .

[autonomous_unit]

Well, given your situation and that you both sound like you don't have to work unless you want to... I'd suggest your most valuable preparation for the move is working on your Thai language skills, so you will feel less handicapped when you are here. I would also suggest that you don't plan to start any dramatic projects here until you feel comfortable. It isn't very fun for either party if you are too dependent on your wife for translation/interpretation... she becomes a focal point or medium for every issue, need, or frustration.

If you have the time and resources to make integrating into the culture and environment a full-time job with your wife, I cannot imagine it being anything but exciting. Play it by ear. Find what you like. Definitely have patience and acceptance as your mantra while you settle in and find your place here.

What is stressful is trying to rapdily "return to normal life" upon arrival, i.e. finding a long-term residence and getting into full-time employment. Our stress centers around the extra bureaucratic stuff necessary to keep me working here legally, which my wife assists with during what should be our family time in the evenings and weekends (outside her own day job). We're still at that age of contemplating children or not and wondering how there could be enough hours in the day!

I still frequently question whether I am making the right balance/investment in trying to sustain my western career right now, to build some insurance against the future and to "strike while the iron is hot." It is easy to imagine losing relevance in my own field if I turned off (or inward) for a few years straight. In many ways I would love to be in your shoes and having the option to just stop work and reevaluate things, and what sounds like a "restartable" profession you can go back to when you feel like producing something would be fun again. The trouble is, we are here because my wife has to work, and it wouldn't be that much fun for me to be an "early retiree" if she still has to go to the office every day.

[donna]

i came to thailand working in the tourism industry. i had the best job in the world. taking people around this amazing country for up to 2 weeks at a time. i loved it.

when i first came, however, i questioned whether i had made the right decision in coming here. i had left a good job, great friends and a fab lifestyle to come to a country where i could not speak the language, and had no friends at all.

as mentioned earlier, the first six months were very hard to deal with. homesickness, pangs of 'oh my god what have i done?', and a general feeling of being unsettled were hard to fight off.

time soon addressed all of those things and i soon grew to love the country and her people.

thailand has given me so much.

i have learnt tolerance.

i have learnt a new language.

i have made great friends.

i have had the most incredible experiences.

i love living here. at times, i DO wonder what the heck i am doing here at 41 years of age and no big career prospects in front of me, but then i come to my senses and tell myself that i am living in a wonderful country with lovely people, good food, and stuning scenery.

i would not change my time here for anything.

[The Dude]

The Dude had NO FEAR moving to Thailand whatsoever. The Dude's Thai history:

Came for 4 separate 1 week vacations from '99-'02 and was only very modestly impressed. Spent most of that time in Phuket. Thought it was OK but not overwhelmingly special. At least 2 other countries were higher on my list. I never thought about moving out of US during this time as I was perfectly happy traveling

Flew into Thailand on way to Cambodia in late '02 for trip planned for spending 3 weeks there and zero time in Thailand. While in bkk airport, debated with friend to forego Cambo in favor of going to Calcutta and other Indian spots we had never gone before. We purchased India tickets at airport and found out afterwards that we needed visas that had to be obtained at Indian embassy in BKK. We were pretty pissed off that ticket seller did not bring up this minor detail. We then booked hotel near Indian embassy (Tai Pan). Went to emb and found out it would take 3 days to get; more unhappiness ensued. We did not plan on spending even 1 night in BKK or thailand prior to arrival. Spent 1 night at Tai Pan and slept while friend went out and walked around cowboy in early AM. Friend ran into farang who mentioned that the Ambassador was decent hotel and informed me. Me not being impressed with the Tai Pan, packed bag and walked to the Ambassador. The Dude booked room for 1000 baht and was pleased with accomodations. The Dude's friend stayed at Tai Pan for 2 more nights before moving to Ambassador at The Dude's urging. Went to Grace Hotel and met nice lady and hung with her for 2 days. We meet another farang staying at Ambassador from US who took us to The Thermae. Rest is history. We meet another farang in Thermae who convinces me to burn the India tickets. The Dude and his friend argue about the India trip as he does not want to waste cash. I explain that we are having blast in BKK and that India would be a downer. Guess who wins out? The Dude. We burn the India tickets at ceremonial burning outside of The Thermae. After 2 more weeks, we board flight back to US

After getting back to US, me, The Dude, having no committments scours internet for flight back to bKK. Booked flight some 10 days later for 3 month stay at Ambassador. At this point The Dude is pretty much hooked on Sukhumvit. Spend the 3 months enjoying each day. Take side trip to Bodia for a few days and remaining time spend on Sukhumvit. 3 months end and flight boarded foe US by The Dude

This time The Dude spends all of 3 weeks in US. He boards flight bound for bkk on another 3 month ticket. The Dude books himself into ambassador where staff know him quite well by now. 3 months pass and The Dude changes flight ticket to 3 more months out. 3 months coming closer and The Dude makes a major decision to burn the USA ticket. That was in August '03. Ticket burned at ceremonial burning outside of The Thermae. The Dude has not been back to the USA since. He has not disowned the place however.

The Dude checked out of said Ambassador in Aug '03 and into palacial condo a few blocks away. The Dude still loves this same Sukhumvit area and has no plans to move anywhere else. In short, The Dude never feared moving to Thailand cause he never had any plans to do so. It was a situation that developed. The Dude has numerous shovels to hand out to anyone who can dig his Thailand story. Can you dig it?

PS: The Dude could never have made a plan to move here.

PSS: The Dude does not speak the language and has no plans to start. He thinks that farangs speaking Thai look and sound stupid when doing so. The Dude does however love hearing Thais speak it

PSSS: The Dude maintains a palacial residence in a Beverly Hills type community in The US and will never sell it. The Dude, in addition, will never purchase a residence in Thailand, he will only rent. Would buy a shovel factory though cause do a lot of digging. Dig?

Edited April 20, 2006 by The Dude

[Jai Yen Yen]

...Went to Grace Hotel and met nice lady...

...The Dude has numerous shovels to hand out to anyone who can dig his Thailand story. Can you dig it? ...

Sorry Dude, nice story but you can have your shovel back. No way could anyone find a nice lady at The Grace Hotel.

[Jai Yen Yen]

<Double post>

Edited April 20, 2006 by Jai Yen Yen

[donna]

PSS: The Dude does not speak the language and has no plans to start. He thinks that farangs speaking Thai look and sound stupid when doing so. The Dude does however love hearing Thais speak it

donna dont dig.

donna thinks the dude should try to assimilate himself a bit more with the country he chooses to live in. donna thinks the dude would be a happier dude if he did so. since donna learnt to speak basic thai, donna has been able to communicate with many different kinds of people. the experiences donna has had are far more than what donna would have had otherwise.

donna thinks the dude should perhaps learn a little thai. donna thinks we dont all sound stupid when we speak thai.

[The Dude]

PSS: The Dude does not speak the language and has no plans to start. He thinks that farangs speaking Thai look and sound stupid when doing so. The Dude does however love hearing Thais speak it

donna dont dig.

donna thinks the dude should try to assimilate himself a bit more with the country he chooses to live in. donna thinks the dude would be a happier dude if he did so. since donna learnt to speak basic thai, donna has been able to communicate with many different kinds of people. the experiences donna has had are far more than what donna would have had otherwise.

donna thinks the dude should perhaps learn a little thai. donna thinks we dont all sound stupid when we speak thai.

The Dude's hot gf is his translator. She is by his side most of the time so The Dude can interact with all comers. It is a diggable situation in which he digs with said shovel. Can you dig that?

[donna]

donna dont want to get into a slanging match and donna respects the dudes decision to not learn thai.

what ever floats the dudes boat.

Edited April 20, 2006 by donna

[mark45y]

donna dont want to get into a slanging match and donna respects the dudes decision to not learn thai.

what ever floats the dudes boat.

The dude is stereotypical ugly American. Like most stereotypical ugly Americans he relishes the role. I guess one could substitute any other Western nationality for American but I am referring to the title of the book.

I don’t feel sorry for the dude. I don’t wish him to change his behavior. I know what’s going to happen to the dude as do most people reading this forum.

The only thing that upsets me about it is, people will know he is American and think because I am an American that I am like him.

I want to tell you all that most Americans are not like that.

I attend AUA and know a lot of other Americans who do the same.

We don’t speak in retarded ghetto California clichés that were outdated in 1969.

We are well traveled and well educated.

We don’t have egos larger than life.

We like people of all cultures and treat them as equals.

We are not as outrageously humorous as Australians. We are not as cultured and well read as Brits nor is our beer half as good. Our taste in food is not as refined as French people. Our love making is not as exquisite as Italians. But we are a mix of all of those people and most of us have many of the same qualities.

We like and respect the Europeans that we have descended from and appreciate and admire the Thais that are our new friends.

We learn the language to function in business and love and to show respect for a people and culture that we admire.

Not speaking or not trying to speak Thai is a sign of disrespect and we realize that fact. Most of us would never disrespect another intentionally.

So please don’t judge all Americans by the dude. There are some narrow minded parochial Americans as there are other narrow minded Westerners.

Edited April 20, 2006 by mark45y

[jdinasia]

Please ... don't judge all yanks by Marky either!

As for the Dude having to have an interpretter by his side all the time? In the USA we call that a caregiver :-) Some people NEEd them ... some don't