Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?

[GuestHouse]

HP, you frequently attribute emotions of 'envy' to people who post on TV but who are not living in Thailand.

Not just in this thread but in responses you make across other threads here on the TVF.

I'm not sure on what basis you come to this conclusion, though I note it is an accusation you make when trashing the views of people who have different opinions to your own.

Keeping to the topic of discussion, you've told us in colourful detail why you don't think you would fit in back home.

I suspect your inability to accept people can live outside of Thailand without being eaten with envy comes from your own understanding of how you yourself would feel come the day you have to leave.

Take comfort NP, there is meaningful and happy life outside of Thailand. You only need to know how to live it.

I could be wrong but I think you are commenting on my feeling that people who comment on Thailand and give advice on Thailand who have never been to Thailand is rather much. Indeed there are a number of people who comment on Thai politics (very complicated issues actually) who have never lived here. There are people who comment on rice storage who have never seen a silo.

I'm all in favor of education but experience is necessary for many things. You can go to cooking school but cooking for 1000 people on a cruise ship rocking up and down in the ocean is a learned skill.

You can talk to girls in a bar but until you live with a bunch of bar girls you won't know much about them. You may think you know Thailand but until you speak Thai you won't have a clue.

So when I say I won't fit in back home it is because I do fit in here. My life is here by choice. I could go back home but I came here; I moved here because I didn't like life at home.

For a lot of people on this forum it is a big insult to call someone Thai. Not so for me.

NP, you paint an awfully rosey picture of your use of the term envy.\

But since you did say 'I might be wrong but I think you are commenting on...'

Well yes, you were wrong.

I had posts like the following in mind.

The envy effect of fitting in back home. Lets face it even a small Thai town makes most places in the West look like a sexual wasteland a "Death Valley of Pleasure" so to speak. Even in my little town in Thailand the mall is a veritable smörgåsbord of female delight.

When the unfortunate ex pat goes back home in order to cope with his feelings of envy for his luckier male brethren living in Thailand he assumes a Puritan attitude that is more in keeping with a witch burning in Salem than a BBQ in the modern world. Some guys have the same thing happen when they get married in Thailand. Pity but normal and by reading Thai Visa easily verified.

When was the last time a friend referred having a beer at a go go as, "hey mate, lets do some filthy deeds on Soi Buakhow!"

[metisdead]

Pages of off topic posts and replies have been removed. This topic not about Empower, not about the impact of anti-trafficking policy or Sex Workers Human Rights in Thailand.

A post containing copies of Personal Messages has been removed:

20) Not to post personal messages from other members, whether in full or in part.

Topic is about " Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?"

[GuestHouse]

Something I find curious is that, I'm sure like most people here, my first move to Thailand presented a whole bunch of challenges with respect to getting to know the place, the people, the culture and the language.

Thailand was not my first overseas posting, but it was my first to such a diversely different culture and language.

I absolutely remember the feeling I had when I returned home after just over three years full time in Thailand, it was one of never having been away - I kind of just slotted back in again. With the usual moments, like sitting in the car waiting for someone to fill the tank for me, walking away from the bar without having paid for my drinks one at a time and the strong smell of perfume.

But all else was just an easy slide back into a life and culture I grew up with - like putting on an old jumper that fits comfortably.

However, there's something else too.

I did learn a tremendous amount in Thailand, about the place, people, language and culture, but also about myself and I learned a lot about adapting which served me well when I was posted elswhere. Particularly to some of the nastier parts of the world I have lived and worked.

I think this enhanced ability to adapt which Thailalnd gave me has and continues to serve me well.

Surely others learn this too.

And if so, how can they not readapt to the culture they grew up in.

Or is it just like the guys who spend years in Thailand and simply do not learn any of the language beyond what they absolutely must grudgingly learn.

Nothing to do with where they are and everything to do with where their head is?

[giggles]

one good thing about going home is that you dont have to censor your thoughts and opinions any more !

so you could fit in just fine .

no more softly softly approach with Thais

[historyprof]

And if so, how can they not readapt to the culture they grew up in.

Those of us who came here as young men - grew up here because of the harsh realities of war. Going home to no welcome or worse confirmed what we already knew. Home was South East Asia.

They didn't hate us here.

[Kananga]

one good thing about going home is that you dont have to censor your thoughts and opinions any more !

so you could fit in just fine .

no more softly softly approach with Thais

Yes, being able to speak your mind and inform someone they could do something better (so they can improve) and they appreciate it instead of sulking for eternity is a godsend.

[GuestHouse]

And if so, how can they not readapt to the culture they grew up in.

Those of us who came here as young men - grew up here because of the harsh realities of war. Going home to no welcome or worse confirmed what we already knew. Home was South East Asia.

They didn't hate us here.

Precisely how old where you when you moved to live in Thailand?

To let you know where I'm coming from I regard the period of growing up as being from birth to late teens.

This being the period when we a socialised by family and the community/culture in which we are raised.

[edit]

To explain that a little further, in the UK where we have English/Scots/Welsh and (Northern) Irish, I know several people who moved to England from Scotland, Wales and Ireland during their mid teens, but who remained and remain very much identified with the culture they grew up in, not England - They could in no sense be described as English.

To claim a period beyond late teens to be the period you grew up seems to be stretching credibility a little.

Edited September 11, 2013 by GuestHouse

[historyprof]

And if so, how can they not readapt to the culture they grew up in.

Those of us who came here as young men - grew up here because of the harsh realities of war. Going home to no welcome or worse confirmed what we already knew. Home was South East Asia.

They didn't hate us here.

Precisely how old where you when you moved to live in Thailand?

To let you know where I'm coming from I regard the period of growing up as being from birth to late teens.

This being the period when we a socialised by family and the community/culture in which we are raised.

21 or 22. I had been in college for the previous 6 years. College prolongs adolescence.

[farang000999]

I absolutely remember the feeling I had when I returned home after just over three years full time in Thailand, it was one of never having been away - I kind of just slotted back in again.

Felt the same way. I wanted to leave immediately back to Thailand.

[lempereur]

gonna find out in a few weeks after 8 years in Thailand back to Holland for a few months

still have good contact with family and friends through FB and Skype

but already dislike the wheather i'm going to

20C. feels like freezing to me

but we will manage anyway

This is one of the many reasons to not live back in Belgium, luckily I have social security in Belgium, now they ask me to vote next year, so I asked my son tho vote for me, get my letter back from embassy that I have some one that lives in the village I lived before, after so many years not been to the village I know no body there any more, the voting can go to hel

[Bpuumike]

Do you "fit in" here?

I believe I've fitted in very well in Thailand and I have over the years very much enjoyed my time there, many happy memories and many dear friends in Thailand who I plan to visit in the future.

But with respect to the OP's question.

Absolutely I think I would fit in - I've just spent a month back home in the UK - I had a wonderful time and not once did I feel the place rubbing me or making me wish I was not there.

I'd list all the good things about being home, but doing so upsets some members who are of the mind that we can't express any good sentiments about anywhere other than Thailand without by doing so be taking part in slagging Thailand off.

A good life in Thailand and a good life back home are not mutually exclusive.

I would wager that the vast majority of posters who ramble on about the West equating to nanny states, fat 50 year old women, rampant immigration and high taxes lived in some god forsaken industrial town on 40,000 pounds a year. If you have money the UK is a very nice place to live. For the same amount as an overpriced badly constructed Bangkok condo you can have a nice house with beautiful countryside on your doorstep, a BMW for the same price you would pay for a crapanese car in Thailand, excellent restaurants, proper farmers markets that dont sell pesticide laden leaves and proper butchers. If you did well back home and had a well paying job I cant for the life of me think why you would want to give that up to live in the outskirts of Naknon No-nose, or not be able to fit in back home when you see Thailand for what it really is.

Simple, apart from cricket in 'summer' and best beers in the world it's <deleted> cold

Edited November 5, 2013 by Bpuumike