Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?

[Kananga]

I'm going back after 10 years. Really looking forward to it. Thailand has changed, and not for the better. The cons far outweigh the pros here now. Looking forward to feeling safe on the roads, being able to buy the land your house is built on, not seeing people literally get away with murder on a weekly basis, sidewalks you can actually walk on, less pollution, a police force that for the most part has the mindset they are there to protect and serve the people who pay their salaries, instead of sucking more money out of them, not having to pay out of your own pocket to put your children through any sort of acceptable education system, not worrying that if you have an accident that an ambulance will not turn up and if it did that people would actually get out of the way to let it through, 90 day visa hassles, taxis that will actually take you where you want to go and the drivers aren't drunk or carry weapons, balconies that dont seem to have an anti gravity device fitted to them that ejects people over the top, gridlock traffic 16 hours a day, seasons and long summer evenings etc etc.

[historyprof]

I'm going back after 10 years. Really looking forward to it. Thailand has changed, and not for the better. The cons far outweigh the pros here now. Looking forward to feeling safe on the roads, being able to buy the land your house is built on, not seeing people literally get away with murder on a weekly basis, sidewalks you can actually walk on, less pollution, a police force that for the most part has the mindset they are there to protect and serve the people who pay their salaries, instead of sucking more money out of them, not having to pay out of your own pocket to put your children through any sort of acceptable education system, not worrying that if you have an accident that an ambulance will not turn up and if it did that people would actually get out of the way to let it through, 90 day visa hassles, taxis that will actually take you where you want to go and the drivers aren't drunk or carry weapons, balconies that dont seem to have an anti gravity device fitted to them that ejects people over the top, gridlock traffic 16 hours a day, seasons and long summer evenings etc etc.

That's a great 180 degree post. The topic was would you fit in back home and you have turned it into an Anti Thai Tirade of why almost no one could fit in in Thailand.

[Kananga]

I'm going back after 10 years. Really looking forward to it. Thailand has changed, and not for the better. The cons far outweigh the pros here now. Looking forward to feeling safe on the roads, being able to buy the land your house is built on, not seeing people literally get away with murder on a weekly basis, sidewalks you can actually walk on, less pollution, a police force that for the most part has the mindset they are there to protect and serve the people who pay their salaries, instead of sucking more money out of them, not having to pay out of your own pocket to put your children through any sort of acceptable education system, not worrying that if you have an accident that an ambulance will not turn up and if it did that people would actually get out of the way to let it through, 90 day visa hassles, taxis that will actually take you where you want to go and the drivers aren't drunk or carry weapons, balconies that dont seem to have an anti gravity device fitted to them that ejects people over the top, gridlock traffic 16 hours a day, seasons and long summer evenings etc etc.

That's a great 180 degree post. The topic was would you fit in back home and you have turned it into an Anti Thai Tirade of why almost no one could fit in in Thailand.

Thanks. The relevance is one of the reasons I will find it easy to fit in is because of the valid reasons listed. If there above points were actually addressed by the Thai authorities I would find it more difficult to fit in at home because it wouldnt be such a desirable alternative. Suppose I should be thankful its turning to shit here, its made the decision to move back and subsequent integration so much easier.

[historyprof]

Heck, yeah. I'd fit in. It's been twelve years since I've been back, but I'm sure there'd be no problem. Fitting in in Thailand, now that was impossible. I have a very low tolerance for lies, scams, crime, corruption, crap service, filth, pollution (air/noise), traffic, rudeness, shoddy workmanship, etc. Living in Japan is harmonious with my general appreciation of adherence to the law, quiet, cleanliness, politeness, quality, beauty, and common sense.

Another 180 degree post. I wonder if there is an award for posts that are not just off topic but exactly the opposite of the intended topic?

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

fit in?

how socially inept would you need to be to not "fit in" in your home country?

Edited September 6, 2013 by GirlDrinkDrunk

[hanno]

Home? Let me think: born in Germany, raised in Kenya, hotel school in Switzerland, stints in Luxembourg, Dubai, China, 20 years in SE Asia. Darn, I don't know where home is!

Planet Earth?

That sounds about right.

[siampayne]

Since returning to the US after 17 years in LOS, I still feel like that dust ball that moves around a room. Find I'm better friends with former BKK neighbors spread across the US than my 'real' neighbors. But, the good thing is that no matter how closed minded the locals are, I learned how to politely smile at them....

Nice people the world over, I'm sure. Maybe I'm just not putting in the effort....

[Kananga]

Heck, yeah. I'd fit in. It's been twelve years since I've been back, but I'm sure there'd be no problem. Fitting in in Thailand, now that was impossible. I have a very low tolerance for lies, scams, crime, corruption, crap service, filth, pollution (air/noise), traffic, rudeness, shoddy workmanship, etc. Living in Japan is harmonious with my general appreciation of adherence to the law, quiet, cleanliness, politeness, quality, beauty, and common sense.

Another 180 degree post. I wonder if there is an award for posts that are not just off topic but exactly the opposite of the intended topic?

Don't wonder about it for too long. If there was an award dont worry, I would donate it to the biggest thai apologist award ceremony.

[Frank James]

I am American in my soul, but can't live there any more. I never "fit in" well there, and now I love my new home town, Chiang Mai.

Sure, I miss lots of things about it, like driving a big fast car on the open road in Montana, with not one motorbike in sight. That will do for a quick example.

Funny to see this topic. I actually wrote a book called "You Don't Fit In Around Here."

[nami]

Never really fitted there. I don't want to see the permanent rude facial expressions, attitude and lack of smiles (even if here are fake sometimes). I don't miss the lowlife hooligans looking for trouble or fights either. I also don't like the arrogant ways of the half decent looking girls. But probably the most important is I don't like to be in a nanny state that has laws for every single thing you could think of, if I were to move from Thailand I would go to Lao, Cambodia or even Burma.

[Kananga]

Never really fitted there. I don't want to see the permanent rude facial expressions, attitude and lack of smiles (even if here are fake sometimes). I don't miss the lowlife hooligans looking for trouble or fights either. I also don't like the arrogant ways of the half decent looking girls. But probably the most important is I don't like to be in a nanny state that has laws for every single thing you could think of, if I were to move from Thailand I would go to Lao, Cambodia or even Burma.

I quite like laws that are enforced. Less people die as a result.

[allucero]

My experience living here and not long (6 months but visit every year) is every foreigner here has a purpose: they love young boys, love the prostitutes, alcoholics, gay, drug attics, or running from the law... And That is the truth... Now if they go home to wherever they came from, they are not excepted or they are hiding the truth of what they prefer or not excepted in their own countries...

[historyprof]

Heck, yeah. I'd fit in. It's been twelve years since I've been back, but I'm sure there'd be no problem. Fitting in in Thailand, now that was impossible. I have a very low tolerance for lies, scams, crime, corruption, crap service, filth, pollution (air/noise), traffic, rudeness, shoddy workmanship, etc. Living in Japan is harmonious with my general appreciation of adherence to the law, quiet, cleanliness, politeness, quality, beauty, and common sense.

Another 180 degree post. I wonder if there is an award for posts that are not just off topic but exactly the opposite of the intended topic?

Don't wonder about it for too long. If there was an award dont worry, I would donate it to the biggest thai apologist award ceremony.

I have discovered living in 32 different places that there are people who don't get along anywhere. Normally when one does not get along in Thailand they don't get along anywhere. Of the 32 different places I have lived the only one I didn't fit in was East St Louis.

Edited September 6, 2013 by historyprof

[historyprof]

My experience living here and not long (6 months but visit every year) is every foreigner here has a purpose: they love young boys, love the prostitutes, alcoholics, gay, drug attics, or running from the law... And That is the truth... Now if they go home to wherever they came from, they are not excepted or they are hiding the truth of what they prefer or not excepted in their own countries...

Since you are a foreigner which are you, love young boys, love the prostitutes, alcoholics, gay, drug attics, or running from the law or are you different?

[seasia]

I don`t think i`d have any trouble fitting in back in the UK, main problem for me would be the weather, really dislike the cold.

I went for a visit last year and will go again next year, maybe just for a couple of weeks.

[lucifer666]

I went back to the Uk for three months last year, hated every second of it. They say that home is where the heart is and mine is here in Thailand.

[transam]

Quick aside: For 5 years I lived in New York City in an older apartment building that still had a manually operated elevator. When the building employee maneuvered the elevator to my floor I would get off and then turn to him and say 'Thank you'. Problem was this became so habitual that when I would get off the automated elevator in a modern NYC office building and would turn and say 'Thank you' and the people remaining in the elevator would look at me as a nut-case.

So when I go back to the US, I do things that I habitually do in Thailand and probably don't readjust until it's time to go back again -- like saying 'Kaap maak' at the US grocery store.

Or going to the pub to meet your ol' pals and Wai them. .........................

[khunPer]

Not really, would be difficult – and a lot more difficult than moving from “home” to LoS

[Guest]

Interesting topic. The more I think about it, the more complicated it becomes.. but some of the key points become more obvious.

I come from a small nation, which is pretty homogenious. People share the same way how they see the values and the world. The country is very stabile and secure.

Ever since I was a kid I loved to travel. I needed to travel! I still have the urge. It's not about moving, but more of learning. People from different cultures gives the best opportunity for this. Like here in Thailand. There is always something new to learn, every day.

I have been living in South-East Asia for the past decade. Last time I visited my home country was 5 years ago. I feel quite reluctant to even visit the place. The reason is not yet clear to myself. However I made an promise to go there next summer, which might clarify the thoughts at the time.

So I feel that I'm not ready to go back home, at least not yet. There is still so many places to visit and so many things to learn. Next I might move from Thailand to some other location and get a kickstart for new culture shock once again.

When I hit my age of rocking chair, then it might be nice to go back and share the experiences with others, if there is still some old friends who wish to listen.

[uptheos]

I don`t think i`d have any trouble fitting in back in the UK, main problem for me would be the weather, really dislike the cold.

I went for a visit last year and will go again next year, maybe just for a couple of weeks.

It doesn't seem to bother hundreds of thousands of immigrants from Asia, so why should it bother someone born there?

[norrona]

I'm going back after 10 years. Really looking forward to it. Thailand has changed, and not for the better. The cons far outweigh the pros here now. Looking forward to feeling safe on the roads, being able to buy the land your house is built on, not seeing people literally get away with murder on a weekly basis, sidewalks you can actually walk on, less pollution, a police force that for the most part has the mindset they are there to protect and serve the people who pay their salaries, instead of sucking more money out of them, not having to pay out of your own pocket to put your children through any sort of acceptable education system, not worrying that if you have an accident that an ambulance will not turn up and if it did that people would actually get out of the way to let it through, 90 day visa hassles, taxis that will actually take you where you want to go and the drivers aren't drunk or carry weapons, balconies that dont seem to have an anti gravity device fitted to them that ejects people over the top, gridlock traffic 16 hours a day, seasons and long summer evenings etc etc.

That's a great 180 degree post. The topic was would you fit in back home and you have turned it into an Anti Thai Tirade of why almost no one could fit in in Thailand.

The truth does hurt sometimes.....deal with it

[nami]

I, unlike you, would choose freedom over security any day. I like i can fly my rc plane without stupid regulations, if I want to swim in a toxic canal I can do, if I want to make a fire in my patio, cross the railroads, jaywalk on the street, swim on the beach even with bad weather, any single stupid thing that in the west it would bring a police or some volunteer to blame and educate me.

Maybe those aren't good examples, but my point is that for every single enforced good law there are literally hundreds that are there just to collect money and are way more restrictive than they should be. I still choose any underdeveloped country and the sense of freedom over quality of life, welfare system and police state.

Never really fitted there. I don't want to see the permanent rude facial expressions, attitude and lack of smiles (even if here are fake sometimes). I don't miss the lowlife hooligans looking for trouble or fights either. I also don't like the arrogant ways of the half decent looking girls. But probably the most important is I don't like to be in a nanny state that has laws for every single thing you could think of, if I were to move from Thailand I would go to Lao, Cambodia or even Burma.

I quite like laws that are enforced. Less people die as a result.

[MrWorldwide]

I don`t think i`d have any trouble fitting in back in the UK, main problem for me would be the weather, really dislike the cold.

Bingo, and that's not even the worst Winter in Europe. No secret that LOS is a huge draw for people from Northern Europe. Even those of us who live in Oz and NZ rarely look forward to Winter - it sucks big time. Envy those who can have it both ways - six months in their home country and six months overseas - but I'm not unhappy knowing that I've just finished my last ever Winter in Oz. No question that 38degC / 90% humidity sux, and the wet season gets old pretty quickly, but I'll have the luxury of being able to stay indoors for most of the day - might be different if I had to battle traffic to get to and from work. Its the nights that make those scorching hot days worth it in Asia

[sunshine51]

"Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?"

Similar to what Hanno said in his post.... I wasn't raised in one particular

place or country. My father was an Admiral and we lived all over the world.

Made it hard to have life-long friends while growing up and I envy those folks

who have that in this day and age...you're very lucky if you have that. So to

answer the question...my answer would have to be yes....Earth is my

home...and I haven't left it yet so I cannot return...home is where I make my

bed...home is LOS.

[overherebc]

Wouldn't really care if I fitted in or not, as I don't care if I fit in here or not.

The one thing that I would like about being back is the ease with which you can rebuild an old car ( forget the expense ) and get registration insurance etc sorted out without all the crap that you are supposed to go through here.

I'm trying now to think of things I miss back in UK but I'm seriously having a hard time trying to come up with something apart from my statement about the cars..

The couple of times I've been back were in the first few years of coming to Thailand and then the idea of going back just kind of faded away.

I never talked about Thailand when I went back, I just told people not to bother thinking about coming here, why bring in more competition

[Kananga]

I, unlike you, would choose freedom over security any day. I like i can fly my rc plane without stupid regulations, if I want to swim in a toxic canal I can do, if I want to make a fire in my patio, cross the railroads, jaywalk on the street, swim on the beach even with bad weather, any single stupid thing that in the west it would bring a police or some volunteer to blame and educate me.

Maybe those aren't good examples, but my point is that for every single enforced good law there are literally hundreds that are there just to collect money and are way more restrictive than they should be. I still choose any underdeveloped country and the sense of freedom over quality of life, welfare system and police state.

Never really fitted there. I don't want to see the permanent rude facial expressions, attitude and lack of smiles (even if here are fake sometimes). I don't miss the lowlife hooligans looking for trouble or fights either. I also don't like the arrogant ways of the half decent looking girls. But probably the most important is I don't like to be in a nanny state that has laws for every single thing you could think of, if I were to move from Thailand I would go to Lao, Cambodia or even Burma.

I quite like laws that are enforced. Less people die as a result.

You're right they aren't good examples. Start fires on your balconies? That's smart. Swim in dangerous conditions just because you can? Even smarter. Jaywalk on a busy Thai road? Thats the smartest of the lot. No wait, swimming in a toxic klong takes the top prize. I suppose you like the 'freedom' to be able to sit in the front passenger seat of a minibus driving at 140kmh inches behind the driver in front with no seatbelt on just because you can. I think Darwin was definitely onto something.

Here's a question for you, would you rather swim in a toxic canal (like you suggested) or a clean one because the authorities enforce rules to stop people polluting it? Or is the freedom to dump trash in public waterways more important than having a safe and clean environment for you and and the people you care about.

It also disturbs me (but obviously not you) to see the low quality of life here for so many people because of the freedom that you think so highly of means the government and police aren't accountable and would rather line their own pockets than serve the people who voted for them.

[stoli]

Do you "fit in" here?

[Alwyn]

That's down to each individual person really isnt it. You say you didn't fit in before you left? why would you fit in when you returned and what difference would living in Thailand for "half a decade" make? Do you only mix with ex-pats when abroad or do mix with locals too? On a personal level I've lived abroad since 1976 with a few years here and there back in England. Last 12 years in Thailand but I've lived in Israel, Brazil and Spain to name a few (lucky ol' me) and the point is this; Each country has it's own peculiarities and quirks. So what? EWhen I go home my friemds are still my friends and my kids are still my kids and i relish it! Do you think this will impact you're own personal history satying here or any other country? I'll bet you're one of these people that when you're in a bar here you say how great you're home pub is "best Sunday lunch" etc and when you go home you say how great it is here in your local? Just jog on and ejoy what life has to throw at you mate!

[jmccarty]

I worried about "fitting in" a bit as a child, but not too much. I preferred my own company much of the time and only had a few that I would describe as close friends and only 1 that I still contact once a year for a x-mas/new year greeting. If I went back now, 26 years after leaving. I would probably be even more inclined to my spending my time alone for the most part. So expect it would make no difference. That is unless I got home to find out I no longer cared for myself!

[BuriramRes]

Haven't got any contacts back home in AUS but that does not matter.

Last time I went back was with my wife for my son's wedding. Spent 2 weeks living with them prior to nuptules (which was bloody hard). His to-be wife keep sending us orders (don't do this, don't do that) and the last week when we were keeping our head down as much as possible, they came home (we were in bed keeping out of the way), saying they had something to sort out which would not wait until the next day (it was 20.00 hrs). When I got up they started an argument, about money of course. It ended up my son telling me I had been "uninvited to the wedding" & get out of the house. I ignored it & went back to bed.

Next thing, they had called the cops & had me evicted (and I spent the rest of the night in the police holding cell). Never went to the wedding & never want to have anything to do with him!

If you have another 12 hours I could tell you what really happened, but it is a lonnnnng story.

No, don't want to re-connect with the a...hole but will probably go back to AUS soon. (I have also "unadopted" him as well!!) Got the wedding present back though & gave it to my friend's wife who is a Harley Davidson buff. The present was a framed depiction of a classic Harley Davidson lovingly created, in cross stitch, by my darling wife.

Edited September 6, 2013 by BuriramRes