The Good Thai Girl Conundrum

[Phronesis]

The following post is draw from my experiences in Phuket, but the conclusions apply to all of Thailand.

Over the last four years living in Phuket I have dated dozens of Phuket girls.

Like any big "city" or commercial centre, the bulk of single girls arrive, from somewhere else, looking for work. And I don't mean in a bar, most of the girls in the banks, malls and other businesses come from outside of Phuket as well.

If a girl comes from an old Phuket family, chances are they will have land on the island and be wealthly. If that is the case she will already be snapped up by a Thai guy, or if still single, certainly not looking for a farang.

Some older, previously divorced, sometimes with kids, local Phuket women do date farangs because they are already on the shelf in the eyes of Thai society.

I can give you one example who is a personal friend. Her name is Nam. She is 41, was forced, by her parents, into an arranged marriage with a Thai guy when she was 22, divorced at 24 with no kids. She is very fit and attractive for her age (we play sport together), speaks reasonable English, has her own car, a job that pays 50KTHB per month, has just purchased a new high end condo (cash) and her old Phuket family has large property holdings near the beach in Surin. She is a great girl, and certainly has too much going for her to park up with some 50 or 60 year old farang loser. Unfortunately Thais and farangs in her age bracket can get 20 something year old girls...and so my friend is in kind of a dating twilight zone. I was considering turning our friendship into a relationship but then I met my current girlfriend who is 25 years old, beautiful, has a degree in law and works in a good job in Phuket town. That is the sort of competition that Nam is up against.

If you want to find a good girl in Phuket you have to learn Thai and also learn to navigate your way around Phuket town. All of the girls you will find in the beach areas are only after one thing.....$$$$.

However there are also significant issues attached to a dating good Thai girl. I will call this the "Good Girl Conundrum". Let me explain. Most blokes who set up camp on Phuket are not metrosexuals, but rather, like me, live here to enjoy the beaches and diving and an active outdoor lifestyle. The good Thai girls that work in the banks and malls of Phuket are like vampires, they are "khun ngoos" and detest any activity that comes with a risk of being exposed to the sun. The other issue is that a good Thai girl will have a career and be at work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.

There are many stunning, fun, intelligent and hard working girls in Thailand. Good luck finding yours.

[falkan]

is she white,skinny,tall and wealthy to? if not it's one way end and no thanks! rue??

[TheSpade]

So was there a point in this topic or did you just want to boast that you have a well off 'good' girl as a girlfriend?

[giggles]

after a 10 hour day theyre not really up for anything at all .shame but its the same all over the realm

[Aussieroaming]

Let me clarify something for you...

Your friend who is forty something faces a conundrum because of her age

You faced a conundrum when you were trying to decide whether to date her, when you had other options

The "good Thai Girl" is merely fortunate

No slight intended on your outcome, lucky you for finding a girlfriend you like, because you resolved your conundrum

[bigbamboo]

So was there a point in this topic or did you just want to boast that you have a well off 'good' girl as a girlfriend?

Can't see this relationship lasting either.

I'd guess she'll dump this failed Lothario soon just like some of those others must have.

[cdnvic]

Nobody is forced to read the topic. If you don't like it go read another rather than trolling the OP.

[amykat]

So OP, what is the difference exactly, between this 41 year old Thai girl, and your 25 year old? Besides the age, and I think your Thai girl makes much less money?

I can't quote you for some reason ...but the whole "working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, for the good girls, and not liking sun" ...isn't your law lady the same? Or she works 2 hours a day and loves sun and beach sports?? Do you not have the same conundrum or is the 25 years old, winning out over everything else?

[Jasun]

I have to disagree. The only Thai women I've ever met who were into hiking, mountain biking, wake boarding, skiing, motorsports, diving or any other adventure activity were middle and upper-class office girls. Maybe they've got the means to do stuff, or perhaps it's because education broadens the mind and inspires people to try new things. I also think you'll find the average Isaan female hates the sun just as much as anyone.

[Thai Chi]

One of the many questions I have to the OP ( I'll stick to one for now) is, are you closer to Nam or your current girlfriend in AGE?

[IrishIvan]

I guess that counts me out. I hate going to Phuket Town. I think Thais should learn to speak english and I like my women black with rice farmer thighs

[Chittychangchang]

Marry the rich old girl and keep the younger one as a mia noi.

Solved Thai styleee.

You lucky man.

CCC

[Nana Cowboy]

All I can say is I wish I were you but I'm just not that lucky.

[dao16]

My wife hikes like a beast, but she does it for me, not because she likes it, necessarily (much like I go dancing for her, even though I don't like it). She is able to keep up with the "guys" as they cycle, climb through caves or up mountains. She just can't swim (her weakness...hahah...like superman and kryptonite). She would just never propose it as an activity on her own.

[trainman34014]

I guess i am in a minority but when i decided to get hooked up in Thailand at age 58 the last thing i was looking for was a young dolly bird 35 years younger than me. I wanted a more homely woman mid to late forties, possibly widowed, still working in a decent job and with some English experience at conversation level.

A tough ask you may well say but the truth is there are a lot more women out there who fit this description than most may think. It took me three years of searching and dating until the right one came along but there was no shortage of choice and the majority were not 'in it for the money'. There are an awful lot of middle aged lonely women in Thailand just looking for the opportunity to settle down with a decent man.

[razorramone]

"I will call this the "Good Girl Conundrum". Let me explain. Most blokes who set up camp on Phuket are not metrosexuals, but rather, like me, live here to enjoy the beaches and diving and an active outdoor lifestyle. The good Thai girls that work in the banks and malls of Phuket are like vampires, they are "khun ngoos" and detest any activity that comes with a risk of being exposed to the sun. The other issue is that a good Thai girl will have a career and be at work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week."

It seems to me that your conundrum can be summarised as follows:

"Good" girls lead a certain lifestyle, which does not match that of foreign guys.

Four things that come to mind:

-Why seek girls that live such a totally different life to your own. It is clear from the outset it would be a shitty match. Eg. I don't drink... therefore I would be a retard to go start dating a party girl.

-I'm not sure why you are classing these girls as "good". Or what that is supposed to mean. You say they hate going outdoors, and you love going outdoors. That makes them good?

-If someone is only meeting women who are after money, that is their own fault. Who you meet and who you attract are reflections of your own lifestyle. I'm not saying this is you, but if some chump keeps bouncing from gold-digger to gold-digger, maybe he needs to change himself.

-Also. Women 30+ who have a career have this same problem all over the world. I do not think it is unique to Phuket.

[Loptr]

Tough crowd.

[cpofc]

all very interesting stuff. I stopped cooking myself in the sun when about 25 or so years ago they told all us Australians we had the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world and my friends started dying early.

However that aside, what I would like to know, OP, is, what is the difference between a 50-60 YO 'Loser' and a 50-60 YO 'Winner'. IYO.

(and to all the budding Jack Bennys out there, please don't say viagara).

BTW should I scrape into the latter of the two categories above, could you let the heartbroken 41 YO know, that if she ever makes it up to Bangkok, feel free to drop in.

[AlexRRR]

Correction...not all thais work a 6 day week, better the job, higher the degree equals a 5 day week in normal situations, the 3 TG's ive had all were 5 day a week workers and very out going sure they didn't like to get darkened but they were more than happy to get out into the outdoors and be active, though the latest who is also the youngest seems to be tired often (though she has the toughest job) shes still up for and actively wanting to go here there and everywhere.

I understand how over looking an older girl for a younger one is but then again in my experience its much easier to meet 27 to 35 age range than 40 plus and the younger ones seem more keen than the older ones.

I too have a friend shes 42 never married and no children very well groomed and very well dressed and a very high earner 2 property's etc etc she cant get anyone interested in her and yet she is very much available.

[BookMan]

Another interesting thread from the OP.

Some guys like to date a woman and have her around all the time; sharing hobbies, sporting and leisure activities, shopping, translation work, the days in general. To have a GF/wife who can do all these things usually means the girl doesn't work full time or the farang guy has to support them.

The OP makes a good point about there being plenty of good women about, but there is a catch if you want them. They don't hang about in the tourist strip so you wont meet them there, they work hard 5-6 days a week, they are more accessible if you speak Thai, they more than likely wont share the same outdoor sporting interests. They are the downsides.

The upsides are they are likely well educated, they earn their own money, they keep busy and have a social life through work (and therefore are not reliant on you for entertainment, finance, stimulation). The relationship can be kept fresh from the fact alone that there is less time spent with each other.

The question is how many of these women are interested in farangs of any age?

[David48]

Correction...not all thais work a 6 day week, better the job, higher the degree equals a 5 day week in normal situations, t

Everywhere is different, but my experience differs from yours.

The majority of the Thais with degrees that I know (group of friends, so a concentrated example) work a 6 day week, but the Saturday is more of a fun day with Corporate dress optional.

They are all managers and they have production teams which they manage.

Indeed, last Saturday, I was sitting in their Office.

.

[Chittychangchang]

Another interesting thread from the OP.

Some guys like to date a woman and have her around all the time; sharing hobbies, sporting and leisure activities, shopping, translation work, the days in general. To have a GF/wife who can do all these things usually means the girl doesn't work full time or the farang guy has to support them.

The OP makes a good point about there being plenty of good women about, but there is a catch if you want them. They don't hang about in the tourist strip so you wont meet them there, they work hard 5-6 days a week, they are more accessible if you speak Thai, they more than likely wont share the same outdoor sporting interests. They are the downsides.

The upsides are they are likely well educated, they earn their own money, they keep busy and have a social life through work (and therefore are not reliant on you for entertainment, finance, stimulation). The relationship can be kept fresh from the fact alone that there is less time spent with each other.

The question is how many of these women are interested in farangs of any age?

the flip side is - How many farang's would be interested in a woman they could meet at home with the above qualities.

None probaly The Op is trying to prove a point to himself and i wish him success.

CCC

[farang000999]

I was considering turning our friendship into a relationship but then I met my current girlfriend who is 25 years old, beautiful, has a degree in law and works in a good job in Phuket town.

[giggles]

there are indeed older women looking for a farang ,but you cant be sure how much into the menopause they are ,and you could find out too late .they may look good but suffer tetchy moods and general hard to get along with traits on a daily basis

[AlexRRR]

Another interesting thread from the OP.

Some guys like to date a woman and have her around all the time; sharing hobbies, sporting and leisure activities, shopping, translation work, the days in general. To have a GF/wife who can do all these things usually means the girl doesn't work full time or the farang guy has to support them.

The OP makes a good point about there being plenty of good women about, but there is a catch if you want them. They don't hang about in the tourist strip so you wont meet them there, they work hard 5-6 days a week, they are more accessible if you speak Thai, they more than likely wont share the same outdoor sporting interests. They are the downsides.

The upsides are they are likely well educated, they earn their own money, they keep busy and have a social life through work (and therefore are not reliant on you for entertainment, finance, stimulation). The relationship can be kept fresh from the fact alone that there is less time spent with each other.

The question is how many of these women are interested in farangs of any age?

the flip side is - How many farang's would be interested in a woman they could meet at home with the above qualities.

None probaly The Op is trying to prove a point to himself and i wish him success.

CCC

I agree, he is trying to prove a point to himself but hey its easy to get seduced by a young fun girl that pushes all your buttons..

[arminbkk]

As far as the OP had a question, it would seem he already answered it himself:

"I was considering turning our friendship into a relationship but then I met my current girlfriend who is 25 years old, beautiful, has a degree in law and works in a good job in Phuket town. That is the sort of competition that Nam is up against."

Thai men, as many foreign men, just like young women/girls.

And for some the younger they can get, the even more younger they want, i.e. one below 20.

I met a Thai friend last Friday, and when he arrived he gave me his phone to talk with his 30+ wife while he

sat down with his 24 year old kik.