first experince of gf isaan village

[DILLIGAD]

That shouldn't be a problem as its the 2nd most common language in England. 5555

[transam]

That shouldn't be a problem as its the 2nd most common language in England. 5555

For gods sake don't tell 7by7.

[rgs2001uk]

That shouldn't be a problem as its the 2nd most common language in England. 5555

For gods sake don't tell 7by7.

I heard, like Dr Naam's dog he is trilingual.

Speaks fluent, Somali, Arabic and Punjabi, also putting in extra hours to learn Romanian for our gypo friends immenent arrival.

[farmerjo]

I think one of the great challenges of moving to a country like this when young is knowing its make or break in most cicumstances.

No welfare to fall back on.

[transam]

If I was a youngster, (30's) I could never deal with village life. Of course we are all different so nobody can say ''your daft'' cos none of us are the same.

PS. I got daft as I got older. But still not daft enough for the village thing.

[lovinglifeinthailand]

living in pattaya now im bored silly of the bars, only go now once a week to play pool. bar girl chat is more boring than village gossip

unless its about me.

I do play football twice a week that I will miss, but planning on a few rounds of golf when up north.

Also as not far from khon kaen can have a good p*ss up with friends when I feel like it.

[David48]

living in pattaya ...

When do you plan to pack our bags and settle down back in the village up in nong song hong 100km south of khon kaen with the support of her parents and family ?

[DILLIGAD]

That shouldn't be a problem as its the 2nd most common language in England. 5555

For gods sake don't tell 7by7.

I think I know his son, 4by2 !

[KunMatt]

living  in pattaya  ...

 

When do you plan to pack our bags and settle down back in the village up in nong song hong 100km south of khon kaen with the support of her parents and family ?

 

What have you got to do to get an answer in this thread David?? Hang on, let me ask him for you:

Hey OP, when are you planning to move to the village and settle down there?

[MeMock]

If you speak and write good English which obviously you do. Why not teach your child yourself? Easy.

Sent from my GT-I9300T using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Wow, that is so easy! You've just solved all of the problems for raising a child in Thailand and Isaan so that they are now safe, healthy and well educated and have the values and morals that I want from them. Congratulations on your amazing insight that nobody has ever considered before. You have just changed my life with that incredible comment.

Why so negative Matt? I home school my kids and we move effortlessly between lives in Australia and Thailand and they are doing great. It is actually a very valid option.

Edited October 2, 2013 by MeMock

[Dakling]

To the OP, good luck on the move to the village. We did it a while ago and I think you have been getting great insights from others. I agree with those who say that you will never be fully accepted as a member of the village, I am more of the village mascot or something. Everyone seems to be happy I am here as a novelty item in the village but I don't have any real friends among the Thai's in the village. To be honest I don't even try to develop friends here because every time I take the time to chat with someone with my broken Thai the conversation always turns to money or land or other things I don't really want to talk about. For me this is not a big deal as I was always a bit of a loner, I have the internet, sat TV and other interests to keep me busy. I am not completely anti-social but the weekly trip into town to meet up with other "Farang" for a beer or two is enough for me.

I think Matt's first post was excellent but since his posts seem to be getting more and more judgmental. While I think he has a valid point about his kids education I don't think it needs to be the only deciding factor in the decision. Having the time to be with your kids allows you to have more impact on their life. Yes they will be influenced by the other kids and the extended family but if you are directly involved in their life you can counter the negative and enhance the positive aspects of that. I sure don't claim to be an expert on anything but I agree strongly with MeMock and the other poster who home-school and/or supplement their kids education with tutoring. If I was still working in the west I would be getting home only an hour or two before his bedtime and likely wouldn't have the energy after a long days work to do much more than veg and watch TV with him.

I really like Sly's post as well, there are path's to success here if you look for them and work for it. Teaching is a good option for many to keep busy and keep the brain lubricated. Might be a good option for the OP as well once you are settled.

[KunMatt]

I think Matt's first post was excellent but since his posts seem to be getting more and more judgmental. While I think he has a valid point about his kids education I don't think it needs to be the only deciding factor in the decision. Having the time to be with your kids allows you to have more impact on their life. Yes they will be influenced by the other kids and the extended family but if you are directly involved in their life you can counter the negative and enhance the positive aspects of that. I sure don't claim to be an expert on anything but I agree strongly with MeMock and the other poster who home-school and/or supplement their kids education with tutoring. If I was still working in the west I would be getting home only an hour or two before his bedtime and likely wouldn't have the energy after a long days work to do much more than veg and watch TV with him.

I haven't tried to be judgemental at all. Even when someone said that the primary reason they are raising their children in the poorest part of a 3rd world country with the worst education standards in this region was to save money and play golf, I wished them well and said it was their choice, no judgement from me about that. Any curt replies from me after that are simply because some people are trying to find something about me or my family to condescend me with.

I don't think I am being negative, I do have some positive points about living here but realistically the many cons outweigh the few pros here for me for raising my kids in Thailand, and especially in Isaan. In the beginning I did want it to work here and had some deluded thoughts about how I could make it work but looking back at it I was really just trying to gloss over certain things and convince myself I could make it work rather than impartially judging what the best option would be for my children. I see other posters in this thread are doing the same thing.

The visa situation is a big factor for me personally. I would be living year to year hoping that they don't introduce a rule that would mean we would all have to up and leave Thailand anyway. I don't like being at the mercy of that system. That's not me being negative, that is me thinking practically about what is likely to happen in the future.

That's without the consideration of how my kids will turn out if they grow up here and, to be blunt, I don't like Thai youth's culture, values or morals so that is a big factor for me to raise them in my home country which I know from growing up there. And yes, people will retort that there are Muslim children in the UK, and Eastern Europeans, and chavs and the dole but I honestly don't care, that's just the negative Daily Mail side of the UK that people focus on when they are not there and want something to criticise the UK about.

And as for schooling, everyone keeps saying that you have to home school your kids to make up for the lacking Thai education system, but even when we live in the UK I plan to be very involved with them and their studies anyway so I hope they will soar in the UK instead of just getting by in Thailand.

Like I said before, I have the option to either raise them in Thailand or the UK and economics are not a factor for me about this. But answer me this; how many Thais would choose the UK option if they had the same choice? Every westernised Thai person I have spoken to has told me that no way in hell should I send my kids to a Thai school, not even the best international school. This is why every rich Thai sends their kids to a western school.

So back to the OP, you have a few years left to make up your mind. If you can afford to drop a few million in Isaan for 3 years of living there and walk away from it all the same then go for it, otherwise you should hang on to your money and invest it wherever you decide to settle long-term. That's advice from my experience of living here for 3 years, maybe you think you have the answer already but you know what they say? "Experience is something you think you have until you get a little bit more of it". Don't rush into anything and don't commit to anything, it will be very difficult to tell your Isaan family your plans now and then change them completely later without breaking someone's face.

I may sound negative because it doesn't go along with everyone's "can do" attitude of trying to raise kids here because they want to stay here for themselves, but I am just trying to be realistic and the reality is my kids would be much better off growing up in the UK or so I believe. That's my prerogative and I don't care what anyone else does with their own kids.

So, there's the ammo, take your shots everyone.

[hotrod4098]

stayed in the village 4 years...very difficult...5 am they talk about money..then all day...same talk every day...

i say no more yes i left behind..4 million THB..

[Dakling]

I think Matt's first post was excellent but since his posts seem to be getting more and more judgmental. While I think he has a valid point about his kids education I don't think it needs to be the only deciding factor in the decision. Having the time to be with your kids allows you to have more impact on their life. Yes they will be influenced by the other kids and the extended family but if you are directly involved in their life you can counter the negative and enhance the positive aspects of that. I sure don't claim to be an expert on anything but I agree strongly with MeMock and the other poster who home-school and/or supplement their kids education with tutoring. If I was still working in the west I would be getting home only an hour or two before his bedtime and likely wouldn't have the energy after a long days work to do much more than veg and watch TV with him.

I haven't tried to be judgemental at all. Even when someone said that the primary reason they are raising their children in the poorest part of a 3rd world country with the worst education standards in this region was to save money and play golf, I wished them well and said it was their choice, no judgement from me about that. Any curt replies from me after that are simply because some people are trying to find something about me or my family to condescend me with.

I don't think I am being negative, I do have some positive points about living here but realistically the many cons outweigh the few pros here for me for raising my kids in Thailand, and especially in Isaan. In the beginning I did want it to work here and had some deluded thoughts about how I could make it work but looking back at it I was really just trying to gloss over certain things and convince myself I could make it work rather than impartially judging what the best option would be for my children. I see other posters in this thread are doing the same thing.

The visa situation is a big factor for me personally. I would be living year to year hoping that they don't introduce a rule that would mean we would all have to up and leave Thailand anyway. I don't like being at the mercy of that system. That's not me being negative, that is me thinking practically about what is likely to happen in the future.

That's without the consideration of how my kids will turn out if they grow up here and, to be blunt, I don't like Thai youth's culture, values or morals so that is a big factor for me to raise them in my home country which I know from growing up there. And yes, people will retort that there are Muslim children in the UK, and Eastern Europeans, and chavs and the dole but I honestly don't care, that's just the negative Daily Mail side of the UK that people focus on when they are not there and want something to criticise the UK about.

And as for schooling, everyone keeps saying that you have to home school your kids to make up for the lacking Thai education system, but even when we live in the UK I plan to be very involved with them and their studies anyway so I hope they will soar in the UK instead of just getting by in Thailand.

Like I said before, I have the option to either raise them in Thailand or the UK and economics are not a factor for me about this. But answer me this; how many Thais would choose the UK option if they had the same choice? Every westernised Thai person I have spoken to has told me that no way in hell should I send my kids to a Thai school, not even the best international school. This is why every rich Thai sends their kids to a western school.

So back to the OP, you have a few years left to make up your mind. If you can afford to drop a few million in Isaan for 3 years of living there and walk away from it all the same then go for it, otherwise you should hang on to your money and invest it wherever you decide to settle long-term. That's advice from my experience of living here for 3 years, maybe you think you have the answer already but you know what they say? "Experience is something you think you have until you get a little bit more of it". Don't rush into anything and don't commit to anything, it will be very difficult to tell your Isaan family your plans now and then change them completely later without breaking someone's face.

I may sound negative because it doesn't go along with everyone's "can do" attitude of trying to raise kids here because they want to stay here for themselves, but I am just trying to be realistic and the reality is my kids would be much better off growing up in the UK or so I believe. That's my prerogative and I don't care what anyone else does with their own kids.

So, there's the ammo, take your shots everyone.

Hopefully none of this comes as taking shots, I agree with much of what you are saying. For example, I strongly agree that you have the right to make decisions for your family. The main thing I am trying to point out is that everyone's situation is unique and there is nothing necessarily wrong with people who decide to raise their children here. Your focus seems to be on your children's education, ain't nothin' wrong wit dat. I also agree with the road safety thing and it is a constant concern for me. My in-laws think I am nuts for making everyone wear their seat belts.

This part of your post I have trouble with, "I may sound negative because it doesn't go along with everyone's "can do" attitude of trying to raise kids here because they want to stay here for themselves,..."

You are implying that those of us who chose to raise our kids here are either selfish or deluded and may not have our kids best interests at heart.

In my personal situation, I could easily take wife and son back to the west but if I did I would need to work to support us as my investments would not suffice to cover our living expenses. Here, I do not need to work (though I choose to work limited hours), this affords me the opportunity to spend much more time with my family. For me this is more important. Also, while I agree with you that schools here run the gamut from absolutely terrible to merely substandard, this does not necessarily equate to the standard of living my little guy will have after graduation. I am an outsider in this country so I can only go by what I see but I think Thailand is a great place for the wealthy Thais. Even the upper middle class folks seem to have much more disposable income than those in the west. So long as my little guy gets a good education (by local standards), learns English to a high level (by local standards) and has the financial backing of his parents he should have a good life. I value his time with his extended family, here in the village he is surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and his little buddies.

Unfortunately the local village school is at the shockingly bad end of the spectrum so next year we will be moving to the provincial capital so that we can get him into a better school. All our weekends and most of our holidays will be spent back in the village though. I guess on a smaller scale I have made a similar decision to you to leave the village to look for a better school but I am unwilling to go farther because I believe his contact with his extended family and his current happiness is also important. As you have done I have made a decision (with my wife) as to what is best for my family.

Back to the OP, only you can make the decision what is best for you and your family. There is no one solution that fits everyone. While it is true you have to be concerned about education, that is true of any place in Thailand though perhaps to a lesser degree in urban centers.

I strongly agree with limiting your capital expenditure in the village because it is unlikely you will ever be able to recover the money. In the village you don't need a show home. If you get along with the in-laws consider updating their house to a reasonable standard and building an addition for your mental health getaway and some privacy with your wife. Put as little money into it as you can, Thai standard as apposed to western standard for everything other than electrics. This is what we chose to do and I think it was a good decision(for us).

Basically we built a suite on the side of the family home and updated the family home (new roof, concrete floor with tile downstairs instead of dirt, walled in under the house, new electrics and plumbing all in cost under 400k baht). Ended up with a comfortable place that works for us (but it wont win any beauty contests). Now that we are planning it as the weekend getaway and holiday home we don't need to worry about security through the week as the in-laws are in the other side of the house. I am not really that worried about thieves anyhow since we have never had a problem and almost everyone in the village is related to some degree. It is nice to have someone in the house while we are away though just to keep it aired out and lived in.

If down the road after the little guy is on his own we decide to move back to the village full time we can then build the big "face" house. Or maybe not....

As far as worrying if the in-laws are "sharing" the laundry soap, who cares. They help us with allot of chores and things around the house and are always willing to work on our farm for little money. Yes I give my mother in law an additional 3,000 baht a month because she is poor I want to help her, I also pay the electric bill for the whole house. I would like to think that I would be willing to do these things for my in-laws in the west as well. As long it is "reasonable" and appreciated rather than expected, there is nothing wrong with sharing a bit of the wealth.

You seem to have a good approach in general and while I understand the little one has pushed the schedule on you I think it is still best to move as slowly as possible on the financial outlay side. It's good to listen to the negative advice as most people don't last long living in a village but there are some who thrive there and love it. The only way you will know what group you fall into is to try it.

My apologies, this got awfully long.

Edited October 2, 2013 by Dakling

[downtown]

well said matt.plus not everyone is loaded enough to be able to home school and not need to work.

[MJP]

I'm going to chime in again after taking advice from two of my closest expat friends who have children here.

One is David, he owns a resort on an island and he sent his children to Assumption College in Sri Racha. They are doing very well now.

The other is Hiro, a fine Japanese fellow who had a large company in Bangkok until one of the coups ended his business, now has an entertainment establishment. His daughter went to Assumption College and is now studying medicine at Dalian University in China.

Guess where I'm sending my two girls?

Edited October 2, 2013 by MJP

[downtown]

pyongyang?

[Dakling]

I'm going to chime in again after taking advice from two of my closest expat friends who have children here.

One is David, he owns a resort on an island and he sent his children to Assumption College in Sri Racha. They are doing very well now.

The other is Hiro, a fine Japanese fellow who had a large company in Bangkok until one of the coups ended his business, now has an entertainment establishment. His daughter went to Assumption College and is now studying medicine at Dalian University in China.

Guess where I'm sending my two girls?

You might want to do some more research on Assumption.

[lovinglifeinthailand]

living in pattaya ...

When do you plan to pack our bags and settle down back in the village up in nong song hong 100km south of khon kaen with the support of her parents and family ?

Come on david 48 im not ignoring you, I have liked many of your posts.

I just thought in your last comment you were being sarcastic.

I move in jan, but have now decided to build next November when the baby will be 8 months, don't want any stress during the birth.

will also give me more time living with the family see how we get on.

[KunMatt]

 

living  in pattaya  ...

 

When do you plan to pack our bags and settle down back in the village up in nong song hong 100km south of khon kaen with the support of her parents and family ?

 

 

Come on david 48 im not ignoring you, I have liked many of your posts.

 

I just thought in your last comment you were  being sarcastic.

 

I move in jan, but have now decided to build next November when the baby will be 8 months, don't want any stress during the birth.

will also give me more time living with the family see how we get on.

So full build or extension of your parent's place?

From when you start to plan with the builder/architect to completion will be about a year so you are look at moving in when your kid is 20 months and maybe moving away 2 years later when your child is 4.

So where will you stay until your child is 8 months old and during the build?

You also haven't said where you plan to have the birth?

[lovinglifeinthailand]

I will start planning early feb.

im not planning on building a palace, so I don't believe will take a year to build.

We will stay with the in-laws

the in-laws will live on site during the build

We will rent in the nearby town.

having the birth in a hospital in the town.

[KunMatt]

I will start planning early feb.

im not planning on building a palace, so I don't believe will take a year to build.

We will stay with the in-laws

the in-laws will live on site during the build

We will rent in the nearby town.

having the birth in a hospital in the town.

Alright, seems like you have everything worked out already (and haven't heeded anyone's advice! )

Best of luck and be sure to post back in 3 years and let me know how it all worked out for you.

[lovinglifeinthailand]

haha seems like it.

I was always going to move to the village just wanted some pro's and con's to help me not follow anyone else mistakes.

I think if I told you 4 years ago not to move I would have been talking to a brick wall also.

Life is good and exciting, everyday I smile to myself that im not stuck in a 9-5 job starring out the window waiting for my life to start..

if it ends in tears so be it, but at least I would have tried. as long as my little family are looked after and happy I will keep this smile.

[KunMatt]

I think if I told you 4 years ago not to move I would have been talking to a brick wall also.

No, if somebody had already been through the same experience I was planning and was talking to me like my dad then I think I would have deeply considered everything he was saying. I think I was pretty sensible about it from the start and understood the risks, me moving here for a few years was not a mistake and I got what I wanted from it which was a nice, safe comfortable home for my missus and kid (now kids) and for them to be close to my missus's family for a few years. I knew from the beginning that the money I spent here I would never re-coup and worst case scenario we would have a holiday home to come back to which is exactly how it worked out. I also was prepared to sacrifice a few years of my social life for them too by isolating myself here, something I also knew from the beginning.

£65k is not pocket change for me but I was prepared to spend that for threes years of building a house here for what I just explained and in a couple of years I will be walking away from it. Everyone keeps saying how they live here to save money but, like I explained in one of my first posts here, it would've been much much cheaper to rent a luxury condo in BKK for a few years and have much more advantages of living in the city compared to here.

Life is good and exciting, everyday I smile to myself that im not stuck in a 9-5 job starring out the window waiting for my life to start..

if it ends in tears so be it, but at least I would have tried. as long as my little family are looked after and happy I will keep this smile.

Like I said, that will wear off soon enough once you find yourself isolated in a remote village where the only person that speaks your language is your partner. You've only stayed in the village once so you cannot possibly think you know what it is really like. Have you ever tried to live in a place you loved going to on holiday? It is very different living in a place to just visiting it for a couple of weeks. You are a young guy and you need some activities to do with yourself and the chances of finding some like minded people in your village that share your interests will be slim at best. Seeing as you were the sort of person who was attracted to live in Pattaya where you have everything you need on your doorstep, living in Isaan full time is going to be a huge difference.

I do feel like this is falling on deaf ears because, like you said, you have already made up your mind to build in an Isaan village and it doesn't seem like anyone else's experience is being considered by yourself. I am interested to hear the outcome of all this in 3 years to find out your experience.

[Kiggs]

Great first post!!!!!

Didnt read all the pages (didnt want to read all the crap from some people)

Im going to the village next mth but only for 4/5/6 weeks 3rd time for me . Its ok but miss the night life of Puket/Patts and alike.

Wish you all the luck in the world mate and good luck with the little one,You will need it I have 2 (15 years old and 11 years) and remember how hard it can be

[lovinglifeinthailand]

I think if I told you 4 years ago not to move I would have been talking to a brick wall also.

No, if somebody had already been through the same experience I was planning and was talking to me like my dad then I think I would have deeply considered everything he was saying. I think I was pretty sensible about it from the start and understood the risks, me moving here for a few years was not a mistake and I got what I wanted from it which was a nice, safe comfortable home for my missus and kid (now kids) and for them to be close to my missus's family for a few years. I knew from the beginning that the money I spent here I would never re-coup and worst case scenario we would have a holiday home to come back to which is exactly how it worked out. I also was prepared to sacrifice a few years of my social life for them too by isolating myself here, something I also knew from the beginning.

£65k is not pocket change for me but I was prepared to spend that for threes years of building a house here for what I just explained and in a couple of years I will be walking away from it. Everyone keeps saying how they live here to save money but, like I explained in one of my first posts here, it would've been much much cheaper to rent a luxury condo in BKK for a few years and have much more advantages of living in the city compared to here.

Life is good and exciting, everyday I smile to myself that im not stuck in a 9-5 job starring out the window waiting for my life to start..

if it ends in tears so be it, but at least I would have tried. as long as my little family are looked after and happy I will keep this smile.

Like I said, that will wear off soon enough once you find yourself isolated in a remote village where the only person that speaks your language is your partner. You've only stayed in the village once so you cannot possibly think you know what it is really like. Have you ever tried to live in a place you loved going to on holiday? It is very different living in a place to just visiting it for a couple of weeks. You are a young guy and you need some activities to do with yourself and the chances of finding some like minded people in your village that share your interests will be slim at best. Seeing as you were the sort of person who was attracted to live in Pattaya where you have everything you need on your doorstep, living in Isaan full time is going to be a huge difference.

I do feel like this is falling on deaf ears because, like you said, you have already made up your mind to build in an Isaan village and it doesn't seem like anyone else's experience is being considered by yourself. I am interested to hear the outcome of all this in 3 years to find out your experience.

I do not feel that I will be isolated as I said i have a group of young friends mid 20s same interests living an hours drive away, if and when I feel the need to socialize ill pop in the car. that's when the in-laws come in handy to babysit. its not like we are tied to the village if me want a holiday in Thailand no problem for a few weeks.

as well as being in the uk for a few months each year.

I do not plan to spend £65k no need to spend 1million on a car. and a modest clean house will do.

I to feel I am being sensible the house is for the family now and my child long term even if he/she wants to live or sell the land in the future after we are in the ground.

I have read all the comments and taken on board the many helpful posts, but a few my way or the highway post are not helpful to me as I was always moving to the village just wanted to here readers experiences.

[KunMatt]

I have read all the comments and taken on board the many helpful posts, but a few my way or the highway post are not helpful to me as I was always moving to the village just wanted to here readers experiences.

I don't recall even one post in this thread of anyone telling you to do something, is there? Strange that you would put it that way, seems a bit of arrogance and stubbornness on your behalf is showing if that's how you are taking people's stories and questions.

You've already said that I am talking to a brick wall so I won't waste any more of your or my time. Good luck with it all.

[Kiggs]

31 and can live in Thailand Doing well mate.

Do what you’re doing you seem to have made some VERY good decisions in the past.

O' and ignore these bitter twisted old barstewards.

Dan

[KunMatt]

31 and can live in Thailand Doing well mate.

Do what you’re doing you seem to have made some VERY good decisions in the past.

O' and ignore these bitter twisted old barstewards.

Dan

I also don't recall anyone being bitter and twisted in this thread, it has been quite a productive discussion.

I really believe that some people just come out with critical statements like that just for the sake of saying them.

[David48]

O' and ignore these bitter twisted old barstewards.

Dan

Dan ... you are truly the Man ...

.

Edited October 3, 2013 by David48