Going for it.....

[lostinisaan]

Thanks for all the nice :"advice" so far. I do have a lovely wife and it wouldn't be a problem to tell her my desire...

Being online on certain websites suggests me that there're so many married men who're looking for a man to have fun.

I do not thin that I'm doing anything wrong, when having sex with a guy. My question was if there're places in Ubon Ratchathani, where some people hang out, to make it easier.

P.S. Please no places in Udon Thani and I'm sure that I'm not the only one on this forum who's got suck (meant such!) thoughts. Good day....

Edited October 9, 2013 by lostinisaan

[onthemoon]

Thanks for all the nice :"advice" so far. I do have a lovely wife and it wouldn't be a problem to tell her my desire...

Being online on certain websites suggests me that there're so many married men who're looking for a man to have fun.

I do not thin that I'm doing anything wrong, when having sex with a guy. My question was if there're places in Ubon Ratchathani, where some people hang out, to make it easier.

P.S. Please no places in Udon Thani and I'm sure that I'm not the only one on this forum who's got suck (meant such!) thoughts. Good day....

I know many a man who identifies himself as straight but is curious about an experience with another man. As you say your wife is OK with it, the crucial question has been answered.

Alas, I don't know Ubon from Udon, so I cannot recommend places.

[LeCharivari]

There still is a lot of pressure in a lot of areas for people to not be gay. That, in and of itself, prevents a lot of people from exploring their sexuality.

Even in countries that are liberal, there are pockets of conservatism and their are families that simply do not accept that someone may be gay. A few people manage to bury their sexuality to the point where they are asexual.

There is a common misconception that if you are gay and get married that a good woman will 'straighten you out'. It might work for a while, but eventually the other urges become stronger.

The problem for a lot of people is that when you are younger, you are quite easily aroused sexually and this makes a sexual relationship with a female easier for some. As we age, this is generally not the case and that is often the point where men start realizing that libido - booster is a male, not a female.

A lot of younger males have the libido to live a double life. That's not so easy when your older.

A very valid point, which I hadn't really considered - as you age you naturally want less sex but you want "better" sex. That's understandable.

Edited October 10, 2013 by LeCharivari

[LeCharivari]

.......... nd for anyone who thinks that giving in to one's desires is natural and healthy, its not - its anarchy.

it is very human to give in to desires. It is very unhealthy to deny pleasures, it can lead to sadness, depression, despair, those feelings usually lead to alcoholism and other types of self medication. Depression is very difficult to treat, often impossible.

Where does this notion of monogamy come from? Is it some sort of morality thing? Long time ago marriage was a business arrangement, still is in many cases, so that part I understand. But monogamy for purely moral reasons makes no sense at all.

What does monogamy achieve, other than questionable pride in padding yourself on the back 'Oh Look How Moral I Am, I Am A Really Good Person'

And why do you care how OP decides to live his life? Makes you guys feel somehow better about yourself when judge and condemn him?

Do you have no consideration at all for his wife or her feelings?

What a seriously bizarre viewpoint - that one should give in to all one's desires and pleasures, What if one person's "pleasure" happens to be beating up minorities, drinking and driving, etc?

This has nothing to do with "morality" - nobody's criticising anyone for not being monogamous or saying that being married and/or monogamous makes someone a "Really Good Person" or somehow any better (or any worse) than someone who has a different partner every day (or more).

Monogamy is simply a part of marriage - if you don't like that then there's no compulsion to get married and every reason not to.

[anon8]

LeCharivari, obviously I meant giving in to desire, not murder, not rape, not anything illegal. But you knew that, and you are simply baiting, and twisting what I said

[anon8]

Monogamy is simply a part of marriage - if you don't like that then there's no compulsion to get married and every reason not to.

I know it is part of marriage very often. And it is the main reason why half the marriages fail.

btw Im happy we are back on talking terms.

[LeCharivari]

If you are married, you shouldn't pursue other people, male or female.

To the contrary, if you have desire to meet other people, male or female, go for it! If we think of marriage as a prison, a life long prison, that is not a recipe for happy life, and happy marriage. Most marriages would last longer and be happier if rules were more relaxed.

It is only natural and healthy to have desire for sex with people that you find attractive, even if you live together with another person. It seems very unnatural to be in life long contract with only one person to the rest of life.

Unfortunately I can't help with meeting people in Isaan, I wish I could.

What a load of complete rubbish. Some of us take our relationship very seriously and my relationship happens to be my greatest accomplishment.

Your concept of natural - become a player

Your concept of unnatural - being in a long term "contract" as you call it

I guess I'm a freak of nature then, and I'm very proud of it.

Scott made an excellent comment that I'd not considered, I hope the OP can find happiness.

"..... my relationship happens to be my greatest accomplishment."

Mine's just pure luck meeting the right person, although my partner thinks its all pre-ordained in some way ... and if there's any accomplishment its my partner putting up with me.

I don't have sex with anyone else because of some great desire to be somehow "moral" or "righteous", but because if I did it would be betraying my partner's trust and that's not something I would consider, whether I knew I could get away with it or not or whether he would "forgive" me or not ... plus I know that I would only be disappointed as he's still the best sex I've ever had so what would be the point?

[anon8]

I don't have sex with anyone else because of some great desire to be somehow "moral" or "righteous", but because if I did it would be betraying my partner's trust ..

If it works for you, then that is wonderful. But don't think your relationship is somehow 'better' or more valid than OPs. This topic is about OPs desire for men, and where to find it in remote area, and while he is married to a woman.

Do you understand this is about a guy who wants to meet other guys, NOT about your relationship. But this is moot by now, OP has already thanked us for our wonderful judgmental views, and I doubt he will be back.

[LeCharivari]

I can't help recalling that you asked exactly the same question here last year and also earlier this year, lostinisaan. Odd that you haven't found anywhere yet and that your wife still doesn't know .....

[ToddWeston]

If you are married, you shouldn't pursue other people, male or female.

To the contrary, if you have desire to meet other people, male or female, go for it! If we think of marriage as a prison, a life long prison, that is not a recipe for happy life, and happy marriage. Most marriages would last longer and be happier if rules were more relaxed.

It is only natural and healthy to have desire for sex with people that you find attractive, even if you live together with another person. It seems very unnatural to be in life long contract with only one person to the rest of life.

Unfortunately I can't help with meeting people in Isaan, I wish I could.

What a load of complete rubbish. Some of us take our relationship very seriously and my relationship happens to be my greatest accomplishment.

Your concept of natural - become a player

Your concept of unnatural - being in a long term "contract" as you call it

I guess I'm a freak of nature then, and I'm very proud of it.

Scott made an excellent comment that I'd not considered, I hope the OP can find happiness.

"..... my relationship happens to be my greatest accomplishment."

Mine's just pure luck meeting the right person, although my partner thinks its all pre-ordained in some way ... and if there's any accomplishment its my partner putting up with me.

I don't have sex with anyone else because of some great desire to be somehow "moral" or "righteous", but because if I did it would be betraying my partner's trust and that's not something I would consider, whether I knew I could get away with it or not or whether he would "forgive" me or not ... plus I know that I would only be disappointed as he's still the best sex I've ever had so what would be the point?

Spot on.

I should have added it's also the greatest investment of my life and the dividends are paying off. I do believe a beautiful part of ageing, is seeing the person you adore growing old along your side.

The OP has lust for another guy, I think I get that. I have never had that feeling for a female and I know it would do my head in trying to sort it out but I also know I'd never act on it as my life committment is to the person I fell in love with many years ago.

This thread has been interesting, there are a few that say loudly - look into my eyes join our team, come over it's more fun, whilst maybe the OP only needs a big brother to say stop that now and go hug your wife.

[LeCharivari]

What a load of complete rubbish. Some of us take our relationship very seriously and my relationship happens to be my greatest accomplishment.

Your concept of natural - become a player

Your concept of unnatural - being in a long term "contract" as you call it

I guess I'm a freak of nature then, and I'm very proud of it.

Scott made an excellent comment that I'd not considered, I hope the OP can find happiness.

"..... my relationship happens to be my greatest accomplishment."

Mine's just pure luck meeting the right person, although my partner thinks its all pre-ordained in some way ... and if there's any accomplishment its my partner putting up with me.

I don't have sex with anyone else because of some great desire to be somehow "moral" or "righteous", but because if I did it would be betraying my partner's trust and that's not something I would consider, whether I knew I could get away with it or not or whether he would "forgive" me or not ... plus I know that I would only be disappointed as he's still the best sex I've ever had so what would be the point?

Spot on.

I should have added it's also the greatest investment of my life and the dividends are paying off. I do believe a beautiful part of ageing, is seeing the person you adore growing old along your side.

The OP has lust for another guy, I think I get that. I have never had that feeling for a female and I know it would do my head in trying to sort it out but I also know I'd never act on it as my life committment is to the person I fell in love with many years ago.

This thread has been interesting, there are a few that say loudly - look into my eyes join our team, come over it's more fun, whilst maybe the OP only needs a big brother to say stop that now and go hug your wife.

"I do believe a beautiful part of ageing, is seeing the person you adore growing old along your side."

Unfortunately in my case there's nothing beautiful about it - every time I look in the mirror (which is as seldom as possible, and always has been) or try to do things I took for granted a decade or two ago I'm only too well aware that I'm "growing old"; every time I look at my partner, on the other hand, nothing seems to have changed and when we look at our photos he actually looks younger now than he did over a decade ago.

[Scott]

The only thing good about getting older is that it's better than the alternative.

[transam]

Unfortunately, we don't quite live in a world that condones the exploring of sexuality before we do things like get married. I always feel sorry for the females who end up married to a gay man. Many will never get the fulfilling relationship they deserve.

Good honest post.

[onthemoon]

The only thing good about getting older is that it's better than the alternative.

Allow me to disagree. Not about the alternative, but about the good things about getting older. For example:

- I have more life experience. I can share these with people, and I can also enjoy thinking back to when I made them.

- I am more relaxed about the little things now. I have better access to the big picture.

- I don't have to worry about my future any more. When I was a teenager, and when I was in my twenties, I had ideas for my life but didn't know whether they would work out. Now I know I made a few bad choices, luckily many good ones, and I don't worry too much any more as I had laid out and have made an educated guess where the rest of my life can go.

There are more issues, this should just serve as the basic idea.

[Scott]

Let me know if that's how you feel in about 20 years. Your still a little on the young side, young man!

[onthemoon]

Scott, you are not 20 years older than me, are you?

I have been feeling better every year, or even every decade, as my life plan is working out. I am a few years behind with some detailed plans, but the overall idea makes me feel good. And of course, I wouldn't be where I am now without the experience I made earlier, and I wouldn't want to miss them.

People say "<sigh>, I'd like to be 20 again". Me, not so. Gee, having to go through all that life experience again would be too exhausting. I'm glad I did it, and now I can look back and afford to relax. Not entirely, I still have some plans to follow and things to accomplish, but the ground work has been set.

[Scott]

Oh, I am not sure of the age difference. Like you, I don't necessarily wish I were 20 again, BUT...time does start ticking away.....

[ToddWeston]

20 again hell no, just thinking of the clothes I wore back then makes me cringe:)

The clock is ticking but I live by my 3 H's - Humour, Health and Husband creates my Happiness & I won't let age define me.

I almost want to get the karaoke out and sing ole blue eyes My Way :)

[LeCharivari]

20 again hell no, just thinking of the clothes I wore back then makes me cringe:)

The clock is ticking but I live by my 3 H's - Humour, Health and Husband creates my Happiness & I won't let age define me.

I almost want to get the karaoke out and sing ole blue eyes My Way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtGfyruroU

Infinitely better.

[onthemoon]

20 again hell no, just thinking of the clothes I wore back then makes me cringe:)

The clock is ticking but I live by my 3 H's - Humour, Health and Husband creates my Happiness & I won't let age define me.

I almost want to get the karaoke out and sing ole blue eyes My Way :)

They wear different clothes now, and that's what I'd wear if I were 20 now. However, I don't agree with the haircut fashion.

Sent from my I-405 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[onthemoon]

20 again hell no, just thinking of the clothes I wore back then makes me cringe:)

The clock is ticking but I live by my 3 H's - Humour, Health and Husband creates my Happiness & I won't let age define me.

I almost want to get the karaoke out and sing ole blue eyes My Way

 

 

Infinitely better.

The Piaf was great, no doubt. One of my favourites.

But the 20yo's of today like ever heard of her and consider Michael Jackson a classic from the past.

Sent from my I-405 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[ToddWeston]

20 again hell no, just thinking of the clothes I wore back then makes me cringe:)

The clock is ticking but I live by my 3 H's - Humour, Health and Husband creates my Happiness & I won't let age define me.

I almost want to get the karaoke out and sing ole blue eyes My Way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtGfyruroU

Infinitely better.

The Piaf was great, no doubt. One of my favourites.

But the 20yo's of today like ever heard of her and consider Michael Jackson a classic from the past.

Sent from my I-405 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

My niece has the creepiest music I've ever heard yet the nephew has Charles Aznavour and the likes & the little &lt;deleted&gt; can sing Yesterday When I was Young with a bloody French accent.

[lostinisaan]

Honestly, not all of us enjoy the privilege to get older and perhaps wiser. Had to say goodbye to too many friends who died pretty young.

But something I've leaned is to be honest to people who mean a lot to me, with all the consequences..

My wife knows that I have a fable for good looking ladyboys and our relationship is still functioning. Maybe I shouldn't have written gay man, bisexual might have been more precise.

Whatever your opinions are, It's much better to try whatever you';d like to, than playing the tough straight guy watching certain movies, but can't "talk" about his feelings, because he might think it' a bad attitude.

Why are there so many men on websites such as the hamster with an x, straight, married, but they wanna meet a guy ???

For the guy criticizing me that I'd posted a similar thread about a year ago. : Is it restricted how often you gonna post something here?

Thanks for all the others who understood my point. Better to enjoy life, as none of us knows when it's over.

[Scott]

A troll post has been removed.

[Scott]

A questionable post has been removed. If you have nothing to contribute to the discussion, do not post.