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When Thais talk **** about you right in front of your face...


Nautilus05

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Its a catch 22 thing learning Thai. I think most people would like to be able to speak. Mainly to ask for things than to have conversations.

The problem is when you can it becomes annoying because then you hear all the bad things being said about you and then you have to bite your tongue!

Why bite your tongue?

Mooner is Right !

sometimes its really hard to keep calm ...

i usally just walk out and never come back again.

even if you do say somethings, they wont get it anyway.

specially the ones running this copy-cat business'es

same if i get overtaken in shopping places by "the better thais" .. i simply do that with zero words in any language

do the same to them .. give them a reason on gossiping the rest of the day that they have just met a really bad falang. wink.png

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I do object to hearing the word Falang when I am the only one in the area as I consider it to be rude.Its like dsying look at yhst guy with the red shirt on. But on the whole I have only heard polite things said.. It can be a little annoying when my wife is asked questions about me whiile I am there and yes I do tease them about that. I have heard a lot more good than bad..

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The Bank Manager in the Bangkok Bank in Phuket when I questioned why I had been kept waiting for over an hour to convert Euro to Thai Baht suggested in Thai that I should go fornicate with my mother. The girl in the exchange booth simply went to lunch and left me standing there. When I complained to the head office they did not seem to think his comment was was worthy of an apology... I closed my account. To those who suspect that they are being insulted, demeaned etc by Thai's there is only one Thai word to learn and that is Jing Law .... Really? Say it and just walk away. They then can not be sure if you understood what they were talking about. Really screws them up!

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Besides...why learn a language that's only good in one very tiny country in the world, when most others speak English, even if it's their second language.

Thanks for this erudite gem.........any further comment would be superfluous.......blink.png

No worries....not bad for a extra masters degree ( Marine) hey?.... but being retired I dont care much about studying anymore, or using etiquette to get my point across.

I am at a time in life where I will call it straight....the easy way cheesy.gif

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I speak reasonable Thai, not fluent but adequate. I have often gone to a store or a market with my wife, or met a friend of hers I haven't met before and will exchange pleasantries with them or the vendor in Thai for some time, including about what we may buy and the price or whatever, and then they invariably turn to my wife and say, "does he speak Thai, where does he come from?" I have tried, literally in fun, jumping up and down and saying, "hey I'm here too you know, and we've already been talking". Doesn't seem to register. When I'm alone, without my wife. I have few problems and people do understand even my worst gaffes.

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I find that just saying a little something in Thai will change their attitude.

You don't need to know much thai, just a few phrases that will apply to almost any situation.

Just enough that they will think you understand them.

My favorite ( I used it just this morning):

When you hear the word Farang used smile and in Thai tell them " I am not Farang, I am Saparot!"

They always pause for a second and then burst out in laughter.

Sometimes they even repeat it to their friends who might not have heard you.

You are telling them that you are not a Guava, you are a Pineapple!

Some will ask "why are you a pineapple?"

I tell them that I am brown and rough outside and soft and sweet inside. Again, they laugh.

If you can tell a little joke about yourself in their language you are ahead of the game and gain a little respect.

They are very careful about what they say about you in the future.

Now to some locals I am known as Mister Saparot!

This is exactly my approach. However, living in CM - I don't use 'Saparot'; I use Bey Kwakah (phonetics?) which is the Lanna Thai for the same thing, Guava. I believe the Isaan for Guava is Sri Thay - so that would work there.

In general, if I hear them starting to talk about me, I say, "Bor ben Yang (Lanna for Mai pen rai) falang chawp sanook" - smile, and they are then somewhat guarded in what they say. The only sticky one I had was a tuk-tuk driver who started slating me, but a quick response, Khun khit pom gnu, mai? (you think I'm stupid?) and he soon backed off.

Edited by maybefitz
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The Bank Manager in the Bangkok Bank in Phuket when I questioned why I had been kept waiting for over an hour to convert Euro to Thai Baht suggested in Thai that I should go fornicate with my mother. The girl in the exchange booth simply went to lunch and left me standing there. When I complained to the head office they did not seem to think his comment was was worthy of an apology... I closed my account. To those who suspect that they are being insulted, demeaned etc by Thai's there is only one Thai word to learn and that is Jing Law .... Really? Say it and just walk away. They then can not be sure if you understood what they were talking about. Really screws them up!

i just closed my account too at bangkok bank for about the same reasons. ! coincedense. no way

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To the OP why did she talk shyt about you for no reason? Did you do something to provoke such a response from her?

Nah, didn't do anything to provoke her, and as far as I can remember, have never seen her before in my life. I've only been living in this community for about a month. And there's nothing wrong with me. Early 30s, well dressed, clean shaven, don't have tattoos, bald head, wife beater, or even a gut. I'm pretty boring and average, actually.

She was just being young, stupid, and I'm guessing a little drunk, as they were starting some family feast / event. I don't particularly care about her actions, and have heard similar cracks from other young idiots before. For example, I've heard people make jokes because I bought a couple packs of mama noodles for dinner. Apparently since I have white skin, I'm supposed to have a personal chef who cooks me filet mignon every night, or something. No lazy dinner nights allowed for white people in Thailand!

The part that aggravated me was the fact the older folk there (I'm assuming her parents) didn't speak up. They put their eyes down, and hoped the situation would go away. It wasn't until I spoke up that they reprimanded her, and forced her to apologize. That's the part that got under my skin.

But I well, I'm sure I won't die due to it, and should continue to live another day.

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Knowing a little Thai can be a dangerous thing. It's easy to fill in the words you don't know and end up with the wrong message altogether. Better to know it very we'll or not at all, ignorance is bliss.

Or turn on your phones recorder before going in - get a trusted Thai to translate it later -

Oh.

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My approach is that why pay attention to something insignificant. It's not thais. It's people in general. They talk sh_t about each other all the time. Guaranteed, somebody is talking crap about me or you at this moment. So be it. I just ignore it. They can say what they want to say. Others' opinion about me is non of my business.

Good quote mate i like that one.Lifes simple Live the life the you love and love the life you live Dont worry too much about the others

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There are a significant number of falangs who loudly in front of friends regularly and constantly abuse all Thais as stupid etc., and are indifferent as to whether there are Thais in earshot.

And they are completely oblivious to the noise they are making, thoroughly absorbed in their own righteousness.

Needless to say they ignore any attempts to 'wave' them down.

No excuse for the other side to do the same thing but just as bad.

Edited by yoshiwara
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I never used to have a problem in the first 10 years or so here, everybody smiling, everything great.

Then on the 7th September 1999 (I remember the day well) things changed. i first put it down to my Thai language improving to a point where i could really understand what was going on, you know, without relying on body language and facial expressions.

But no, it wasn't that at all. I was reminded in September 2000 when i forgot the anniversary. Still, the daily verbal abuse keeps me on my toes and on the straight and narrow...................sad.png

tongue.png

13 years of verbal abuse.

People pay good money for that type of arousal.

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I would have done exactly what the op did except I would not have bought anything there. I had a similar experience once in Tesco. The checkout gil was chatting with her friend about me and I don't really know most of what they said but when I said slightly angrily 'Kon Tai pood Thai dooay' the girl couldn't look at me and became suddenly silent and couldn't get me out the door fast enough !.

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To the OP why did she talk shyt about you for no reason? Did you do something to provoke such a response from her?

Nah, didn't do anything to provoke her, and as far as I can remember, have never seen her before in my life. I've only been living in this community for about a month. And there's nothing wrong with me. Early 30s, well dressed, clean shaven, don't have tattoos, bald head, wife beater, or even a gut. I'm pretty boring and average, actually.

She was just being young, stupid, and I'm guessing a little drunk, as they were starting some family feast / event. I don't particularly care about her actions, and have heard similar cracks from other young idiots before. For example, I've heard people make jokes because I bought a couple packs of mama noodles for dinner. Apparently since I have white skin, I'm supposed to have a personal chef who cooks me filet mignon every night, or something. No lazy dinner nights allowed for white people in Thailand!

The part that aggravated me was the fact the older folk there (I'm assuming her parents) didn't speak up. They put their eyes down, and hoped the situation would go away. It wasn't until I spoke up that they reprimanded her, and forced her to apologize. That's the part that got under my skin.

But I well, I'm sure I won't die due to it, and should continue to live another day.

Oh comeon their commentary wasn't insulting just that they were talking about you in a positive stereptypical manner.

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You are "farang" to them, that is, an object, rather than a human being. This is also why many Thais have very difficult to deal with the fact, that a white skin, a "farang", so totally different from a normal human being, can speak Thai.

In order for us to make ourself a little more human, less objectified, we should try to avoid calling ourselves "farang" all the time.

Does this apply the same way when farangs call say asians in their farang countries?

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On my wedding day at the Amphur I got 'All farangs are little dogs' when my wife was out of earshot. She got an answer about many Thai ladies resembling ghosts with their white skin crap (referring to her).

This very morning we visited a shop we had been buying seeds for a year now. A new girl there treated my wife as if she was a bar girl and asked impertinent questions. I didn't catch that part of the conversation but I did understand when she shouted to the sullen Chinese lady at the back 'you can keep your seeds, there's another shop down the road'. No reaction of course , why bother.

Who said that? Why would thai ladies gets insulted?

sullen chinese lady and a new girl?

How did you know the lady boss is a chinese and she hired a rude new girl?

First question: happens all the time in Isaan, young girls see a farang with a Thai lady, they just assume that she is a bar girl.

Second question: The lady boss is Chinese, not Japanese or Eskimo. We never saw the girl before so we assume that she is new, logical, ok?

I was just trying to point out that this suff happens to Thais also.

A question from me: how long have you been drinking today?

None at all. FYI looking chinese doesn't make that person chinese and i have to ask you cos you being farang means you probably cannot tell asians apart.

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There are a significant number of falangs who loudly in front of friends regularly and constantly abuse all Thais as stupid etc., and are indifferent as to whether there are Thais in earshot.

And they are completely oblivious to the noise they are making, thoroughly absorbed in their own righteousness.

Needless to say they ignore any attempts to 'wave' them down.

No excuse for the other side to do the same thing but just as bad.

It's this double standard thing that i need to bring up. Try being an asian/minority in farang land and well these minorities know how it is like. If you don't have any outright hostile racist taunt yelled at you then it's not normal.

I don't think we have the drunk thai shouting out at the farangs using racial slurs in passing cars do we?

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I don't see the difference between Farangs' daily bitching about Thais on this forum and Thais talking **** about Farangs right in front of their faces.

Ummm both sides or rather 1 side feel they are more justified and you know this is their country.

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You are "farang" to them, that is, an object, rather than a human being. This is also why many Thais have very difficult to deal with the fact, that a white skin, a "farang", so totally different from a normal human being, can speak Thai.

In order for us to make ourself a little more human, less objectified, we should try to avoid calling ourselves "farang" all the time.

Does this apply the same way when farangs call say asians in their farang countries?

Asian is an ethnicity and the correct term....

Farang literally means 'foreigner' and other way round if I was referring to someone of Asian descent as a foreigner in the UK....well that is not accepted and you know that!

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I have only ever experienced one situation where a Thai person was less than polite when chatting to his friend on the phone and mentioned me a couple of times. I wrote it off as him being tired and in need of a couple of beers with friends. Nothing to get upset about.

In business situations I have always made sure I let people know upfront that I speak Thai reasonably well and dont have any problems understanding a majority of what is being said. I've noticed that business partners also make sure to provide this information as soon as I am introduced to someone new, something I have always believed is to make sure they don't cause someone to lose face by revealing business information or saying something that could be interpreted as unsuitable.

In my opinion Thais are in general much kinder and friendlier as long as you behave and treat people with respect. Which is exactly the way it works in pretty much every corner of the world...

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It's not just Thais that do it, all races are guilty. I was on our local ferry a few weeks back, and a group of Chinese were talking impolitely about me and my GF. The look of horror, when GF asked them had they enjoyed their trip to the island in mandarin was priceless. There are tossers from all countries...

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I never used to have a problem in the first 10 years or so here, everybody smiling, everything great.

Then on the 7th September 1999 (I remember the day well) things changed. i first put it down to my Thai language improving to a point where i could really understand what was going on, you know, without relying on body language and facial expressions.

But no, it wasn't that at all. I was reminded in September 2000 when i forgot the anniversary. Still, the daily verbal abuse keeps me on my toes and on the straight and narrow...................20x20xsad.png.pagespeed.ic.5zxzyGiJz0.pn

tongue.png.pagespeed.ce.JwCxzAWj6x.png width=20 alt=tongue.png>

13 years of verbal abuse.

People pay good money for that type of arousal.

smile.png I have................

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The ditzy thing was right! You are fxxxxxng stupid!sad.png

They insulted you to your face, and you still bought from them??

She politely apologized. It's not about the mistakes you make, but how you handle them.

wrong.

the young spoke her heart and the old one didn't mind until you threatened to take your business away and then ordered the young one to apologize, which the latter did mindlessly.

it wasn't a honest apology.

I would have walked out, after I had said that I love Thailand, because of how polite, respectful and friendly SOME people are, without any further comment.

Another variant would be to tell the girl "If I was Thai, I would beat you up now". But I don't like confrontation.

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