The Old Days

[ToddWeston]

I was thinking about the old days this morning and how far we've really come, now some just seem silly but at the time some were difficult and some was hurtful, at least now we just smile and say they've matured.

Late eighties when we first opened our joint bank account and the woman said "what's your relationship" and we said friends - she said no let's put cousins and then was mad because his super long Thai name didnt fit in all the boxes So we ended up being cousins and the last 7 letters of his name never made it on our cheques.

Or when we had our first mortgage and the mortgage insurer said you cannot list each other as beneficiary unless you are family, you have to write the money goes to the Estate.

The lawyer doing the Estate will saying - I think we should put a codicil about your assets going to each other as more than a wish because your family will have grounds to contest (and yes we did fake promissory notes)

Or the car insurance rep visiting our home and saying, is there a wife ? we need to put a female on your policy to bring the rate down, so I listed my sister (which ended up costing more with her lead foot)

The time the mechanic said your wife must be a bad driver, this is the second set of brake pads in a year - I smiled and said yes just terrible the absolute worst - and yes he was standing beside me in silence - priceless

The time we went to the Masonic Hall and some old guy said to him in a loud voice - do you like it here ? have you met any women yet who like orientals - we still laugh at that one

The Vet saying with a silly mock birth certificate for the dog - why don't I just put your sisters name for Mummy - Todd.

The time on a flight he passed out from being over served and was resting on my shoulder and the flight attendant stopped and asked if he's sick and you knew damn well he was a mothball

All those nights in hotels with two beds arranged by reception, on purpose

Or that uncomfortable feeling everytime good old Uncle Ken would say - do you want a fag

The time in a shoe store and I said here try these on, the clerk looked puzzled, I said we have the same size feet - she responded YA right with a look of disgust and walked away

The time in hospital when they wouldn't tell him my situation because he wasn't family, yet he found an error with my meds

The two gifts at Xmas instead of one

When my Brothers started to call him their Brother and people would ask silly questions about Vietnam (assuming he was an adopted Vietnamese Boat person)

So much has changed and it makes me happy, a long way to go for many and hopefully they'll catch up sooner rather than later. Not so much a struggle for us but I would like to find that woman at the show store and invite her to our 25th anniversary, I'd even pay for her flight to Thailand.

What's a memory for you ? perhaps silly now or things that still hurt.

Maybe we can have a laugh ?

[ProThaiExpat]

Traveling in Europe and running into many of the same people at tourist sites. When asked "Is he your Nephew?"

My answer, if I liked them "Yes". If I didn't like them: "No, we are lovers and we have been together since he was eleven!!"

[Scott]

In the old days it was sometimes not so hard to stay in the closet because it felt like that is where we were supposed to be. If you wanted to be out of the closet, where I lived, it basically meant moving away.

One thing that made life a little easier was that people didn't think much about others being gay (or homosexual, as it was called). Homosexuals were people that lived somewhere else. People were just considered to be close friends.

I remember two old farmers that were burned to death in their farm house. They were found in the same bed. For those of us in the closet, it was pretty obvious they gay. That had been together for many, many years. The official story was that one of them must of went into the other one's room to save him!

I grew up in a very conservative area, so sex was just not talked about -- gay or straight.

[ToddWeston]

In the old days it was sometimes not so hard to stay in the closet because it felt like that is where we were supposed to be. If you wanted to be out of the closet, where I lived, it basically meant moving away.

One thing that made life a little easier was that people didn't think much about others being gay (or homosexual, as it was called). Homosexuals were people that lived somewhere else. People were just considered to be close friends.

I remember two old farmers that were burned to death in their farm house. They were found in the same bed. For those of us in the closet, it was pretty obvious they gay. That had been together for many, many years. The official story was that one of them must of went into the other one's room to save him!

I grew up in a very conservative area, so sex was just not talked about -- gay or straight.

I was envious of the States that there were so many big cities and choices, in Canada it's only really 3 or 4.

It's sad the farmers met their demise in such a tragic event, it shows the time that they had to come up with a story....

[isanbirder]

I met my first 'partner for a lifetime' in 1977 (he died in 1996; now I'm with another one) in Hong Kong. He was Chinese, and very, very obviously gay. So I had to come out. And nobody batted an eyelid. (They must all have known already!)

And nobody made an amusing mistake either. And yet a few years later a Hong Kong police inspector shot himself through the head for being found out to be gay. At least that was the story; as he was shot through the head five times, some doubted that it was suicide.

[LeCharivari]

PCA has its benefits - what are these "old days"?

[ToddWeston]

PCA has its benefits - what are these "old days"?

75 years ago will suffice :)

[sustento]

I remember standing in a pub in Slab Square in Nottingham at the age of 16 thinking 'if poofery is illegal why is this place full of them' ?

[sustento]

I can also remember breathing a sigh of relief in 1967.