My adopted Thai teenage daughter's fascination with gay boys?

[jaideeguy]

She is almost 14 years old and has been my adopted daughter for 12 years so I've seen her go thru a lot of phases in maturing, but I am totally confused by her latest fascination with Gay Asian boys. There seems to be a new 'cult' of teenage girls that are into it here and they follow these imported and translated Japanese comics and romance novels that are somewhat censored for the Thai market with the more explicit parts censored out, but the message still is obvious.........men hugging, kissing, holding hands, sleeping together, etc.........

This has been going on with her for a couple of years now and we [Thai mom and I] haven't tried to suppress it, thinking it will pass as so many other phases have over the years. She gets excellent grades in school and is well mannered at home and school and is a normal teenage girl in many respects.

Mainly, I'm just wondering if other parents have seen this new strange 'fad' going on with other teen girls?? She doesn't show any other sexual preferences, either with boys or girls, but is really into the gay teen male thing and just wondering why?? and what it could lead to??

Thanks in advance for any feedback...........

[arthurwait]

Always see groups of girls with gay guys and short haired ladyboys. It been going on as long as I've been here.

Nothing to worry about or supress only she can choose her friends or know what her sexuality is. At least they won't get her pregnant.

How to say this without being rude, but it's usually girls that don't get any attention from straight lads. Same as in the west. Or the bitchy crew with the bitchy tuud.

[scorecard]

I am no expert at all on this subject.

I strongly respect and admire the fact that you notice and have some concern, I also strongly respect your approach to not 'over react'.

Just one point on my mind, at 14 is she (like many kids) seeing the things you mention, because of the hype, as 'glamorous'?

My guess is that many young teenagers, girls and boys, at 14 would be fairly strongly influenced by 'glamour', and that this is probably

well reinforced by what they see on TV programs and TV advertising.

On another sort of opposite note, I teach many Thai bachelor degree programs (in English). In every class there's a few / quite a few Thai teenager boys (late teens) who are in many ways quite masculine (I'm not meaning aggressive) and very attracted to girls, but at the same time very attracted to 'glamour'. More than once I've noticed magazine cut outs of boy band members / teen boy fashion models, etc., in the notebooks of the boys in the class. Also cut outs of teen girl fashion models in the notebooks of the girls in the class.

I'm not suggesting in any way that there is anything wrong with any of this, just life.

Not an expert but I suspect it's somehow all part of the fads along the journey. Whatever will be will be.

Take care.

Edited October 26, 2013 by scorecard

[jaideeguy]

'At least they won't get her pregnant.'............That eases my mind a lot, as I see so many other girls her age pregnant and no future.

And yes, I know from my own confused teenage hormones at 14 years that sexual energy and things mostly pass and LOS is quite tolerant re: sexuality, but this has been going on for 2 years.

Could be worse for sure. I was just curious and wondering if other parents have run into this fad?? Apparently it is in fashion with a lot of girls her age as there are a lot of Thai comics and novels that are available.

[eezergood]

Definately a fashion thing, same as EMO in the west. If you have an EMO mate then you are cool. One other point, again i aint an expert, as I have a son and he is 10 weeks old!, but it could be that gay guys are seen as less threatening. They dont want any kind of sexual gratification from girls, so the friendship is based only on that.

[Dr Robert]

I think there is a sense of sexual satisfaction by proxy, where all of the behaviours of male sexuality can be experienced and curiosity sated without risk by the girl, who can feel safe with boys she knows will not experiment with her. but by and large I agree with scorecard on the notion of glamour. Passing, harmless phase IMHO, and think similarly to eezergoods comments. Also like that you are aware enough as a parent to be concerned.

[WitawatWatawit]

Sensible comments, especially on glamour. It's important to them at that age. Then there's also peer pressure. It plays no small part. I noted it with my daughter and her friends, and then the friends' siblings. Obsessions by their very nature dominate a person's life and lifestyle, but do fade in time as maturity sets in and new things take over. For example, my daughter, once a rabid fan of Britney Spears, is now getting into jazz. But can't bloody shake her on those wretched Hello Kitty things, though.

[beachproperty]

Don't know if this answers your post.....but my adopted daughter who I have raise for 7 years went through the same phase...(she's now 21 and has has a long term boyfriend now for a few years)....Back when she was 14 through 18 ALL her friends (or at least the ones who she brought home) were the Katoey type.....Never had a problem because they were always polite, kind and thoughtful......People are people and they come in all persuasions....key is are they good people...if they are.... who cares what their persuasion is ....

[grumpyoldman]

IMO the western world is too caught up in sex and sexuality overall, seem to want to make a lot more of these types of things than there really is.

Good post by beachproperty which is if they are overall good people, polite, who cares (?)............it's a rainbow world, many colors.