Christmas in Thailand....My daughter

[LemonSqueeza]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

[soi41]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Not bad coming from a poster, who only joined yesterday!!

So for future reference: I you agree with miss lemon, please go on posting. If in the unlikely event, you don't agree with her, go and do charity work!!

Who do you think, you are??

[lineofentry]

I love kids, but I couldn't eat a whole one.

[Forethat]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Proved effective?

In my opinion things could have gone really bad. If one start messing with a teenagers mind by refusing her entrance to her home at 2AM one need to realise that things can go downhill very quickly. This time it went well, but to claim that one made the right decision simply because it "proved effective" THIS time is beyond naivety if you ask me.

She shouldn't have been out there in the first place, if OP had been as responsible as he claim to be. He should have secured the girl and dealt with this in an adult way. What he did resembles the attitude often found amongst pissed off 3-year olds, pretty much the worst case scenario if the girl had behaved in exactly the same way the OP did.

Again, I'm only sharing my opinion, which is I think YOU behaved like a child. But good for you playing Russian roulette with a 14 year old girl "proved effective" this time.

I can only say that if I was the father of a 14-year old girl who was refused entrance to her home at 2AM in the morning by a grown up brat, he would have been subject to a beating so bad his own mother wouldn't recognise him.

Edited October 29, 2013 by Forethat

[Forethat]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Well, last time I checked this was a forum where things are meant to be discussed...?

Opinions will differ; your's mine and OPs.

I dont see a problem with that, to be honest.

But you're telling me I am free to have an opinion as long as it's your's as well..?

[hellodolly]

Glad it worked out that time, but could have resulted in an unwanted pregnancy.

Allowing a 14 year old girl to stay out as late as she wants with nothing being said or done about it would increase the chances of unwanted pregnancies and sexual diseases drastically.

Maybe there was another way but the situation needed handling immediately.

Reminds me of years ago when I had just met this lady about a week or so. We were laying on her bed watching TV fully dressed with the door open. She had two teen age daughters one came in and tried some ridicules thing on her mother. With out even thinking I said no.Three days later my by then girl friend told me this daughter thought I should move in with them. She said I cared about her and was not using her to get at her mother.

Children need to feel wanted.

[kevvy]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Proved effective?

In my opinion things could have gone really bad. If one start messing with a teenagers mind by refusing her entrance to her home at 2AM one need to realise that things can go downhill very quickly. This time it went well, but to claim that one made the right decision simply because it "proved effective" THIS time is beyond naivety if you ask me.

She shouldn't have been out there in the first place, if OP had been as responsible as he claim to be. He should have secured the girl and dealt with this in an adult way. What he did resembles the attitude often found amongst pissed off 3-year olds, pretty much the worst case scenario if the girl had behaved in exactly the same way the OP did.

Again, I'm only sharing my opinion, which is I think YOU behaved like a child. But good for you playing Russian roulette with a 14 year old girl "proved effective" this time.

I can only say that if I was the father of a 14-year old girl who was refused entrance to her home at 2AM in the morning by a grown up brat, he would have been subject to a beating so bad his own mother wouldn't recognise him.

Some parents think they are doing the right thing bringing up their children , but in this case it was not . The op told his story and then the posts after he started telling more to the story E.G the blinds she climbed up were safe. He didn't say that in the beginning. And other posts how good a father he has been , which we were not arguing about that .just this one story about his daughter didnt come home on time . Well after she was late why didnt he ring her and ring where she was , as he is a good father he should have known where she was , dont all parents know that about the young daughters when they go out. Or , did he just wanted to teach her a lesson, so 10 minutes after 10 , and refused to ring her . But there will be more to the story now as he will say he did. # As I said it is only this story about the daughter , not saying he is a bad father, but a bad decision with this story .

[LemonSqueeza]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Not bad coming from a poster, who only joined yesterday!!

So for future reference: I you agree with miss lemon, please go on posting. If in the unlikely event, you don't agree with her, go and do charity work!!

Who do you think, you are??

so i need a post count of 4000 to have an opinion?

i didnt read that in the forum rules.

[crumpled]

Sex, drugs, prostitution, burglary and all manner of other problems can easily occurr with a child of 14 out until 02-00 hrs. She needed stopping. As it is, the end result is what counts. One persons way of dealing with things is not the same as anothers. In the same way, each child will react differently to different forms of discipline. Your way worked, OP. I am pleased about that.

For anyone who says that a good parent should know where their children are all the time is very misguided in my opinion. Children tell lies and unless you are actually with them, you cannot know where they are and what they are doing. That is life.

[dao16]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Proved effective?

In my opinion things could have gone really bad. If one start messing with a teenagers mind by refusing her entrance to her home at 2AM one need to realise that things can go downhill very quickly. This time it went well, but to claim that one made the right decision simply because it "proved effective" THIS time is beyond naivety if you ask me.

She shouldn't have been out there in the first place, if OP had been as responsible as he claim to be. He should have secured the girl and dealt with this in an adult way. What he did resembles the attitude often found amongst pissed off 3-year olds, pretty much the worst case scenario if the girl had behaved in exactly the same way the OP did.

Again, I'm only sharing my opinion, which is I think YOU behaved like a child. But good for you playing Russian roulette with a 14 year old girl "proved effective" this time.

I can only say that if I was the father of a 14-year old girl who was refused entrance to her home at 2AM in the morning by a grown up brat, he would have been subject to a beating so bad his own mother wouldn't recognise him.

Some parents think they are doing the right thing bringing up their children , but in this case it was not . The op told his story and then the posts after he started telling more to the story E.G the blinds she climbed up were safe. He didn't say that in the beginning. And other posts how good a father he has been , which we were not arguing about that .just this one story about his daughter didnt come home on time . Well after she was late why didnt he ring her and ring where she was , as he is a good father he should have known where she was , dont all parents know that about the young daughters when they go out. Or , did he just wanted to teach her a lesson, so 10 minutes after 10 , and refused to ring her . But there will be more to the story now as he will say he did. # As I said it is only this story about the daughter , not saying he is a bad father, but a bad decision with this story .

Well, if I read the original post correctly, he didn't arrive on the scene until she was already 14 and running around like a crazy person, due to the mother's situation before (very common...I see it every day). As a stepfather, it takes time to build up authority of the kind you are talking about (for Thai stepfathers, too....same). So, "laying down the law" as it were, might not work at first, since you are just seen as a random person who showed up. That is how I understood the OP and why he had to find a different way.

I have also had to make a case with my stepchildren. Basically, the case is this--you stay here, but things will be this way. Otherwise, you can go live with grandma and grandpa. That is the distilled version. There were many trying times and it has taken years to direct them in a better direction. I was lucky and arrived on the scene earlier, so the teen stuff hadn't come into play.

I just think that the OP was facing a drastic situation, and drastic measures were called for. I haven't had to deal with anything like that, and hopefully I won't have to (I am in the danger zone for that kind of thing right now....so far so good, fingers crossed).

It is also difficult (alert: not Thai bashing here) as many Thais are very "mai benrai" with these situations, so the young person continues the behavior with almost no consequences, other than maybe a tongue lashing. That's just how a lot of Thais deal with their kids. So it isn't easy at all to find a way to discipline stepchildren when you are new on the scene. With time, if things go right, they will come to love you and respect you and maybe have more of the kind of relationship you are envisioning, Kevvy. Just...all of us didn't arrive at such a dangerous time in life as the OP did in his daughter's life.

Edited October 29, 2013 by dao16

[beachproperty]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Proved effective?

In my opinion things could have gone really bad. If one start messing with a teenagers mind by refusing her entrance to her home at 2AM one need to realise that things can go downhill very quickly. This time it went well, but to claim that one made the right decision simply because it "proved effective" THIS time is beyond naivety if you ask me.

She shouldn't have been out there in the first place, if OP had been as responsible as he claim to be. He should have secured the girl and dealt with this in an adult way. What he did resembles the attitude often found amongst pissed off 3-year olds, pretty much the worst case scenario if the girl had behaved in exactly the same way the OP did.

Again, I'm only sharing my opinion, which is I think YOU behaved like a child. But good for you playing Russian roulette with a 14 year old girl "proved effective" this time.

I can only say that if I was the father of a 14-year old girl who was refused entrance to her home at 2AM in the morning by a grown up brat, he would have been subject to a beating so bad his own mother wouldn't recognise him.

Some parents think they are doing the right thing bringing up their children , but in this case it was not . The op told his story and then the posts after he started telling more to the story E.G the blinds she climbed up were safe. He didn't say that in the beginning. And other posts how good a father he has been , which we were not arguing about that .just this one story about his daughter didnt come home on time . Well after she was late why didnt he ring her and ring where she was , as he is a good father he should have known where she was , dont all parents know that about the young daughters when they go out. Or , did he just wanted to teach her a lesson, so 10 minutes after 10 , and refused to ring her . But there will be more to the story now as he will say he did. # As I said it is only this story about the daughter , not saying he is a bad father, but a bad decision with this story .

Well, if I read the original post correctly, he didn't arrive on the scene until she was already 14 and running around like a crazy person, due to the mother's situation before (very common...I see it every day). As a stepfather, it takes time to build up authority of the kind you are talking about (for Thai stepfathers, too....same). So, "laying down the law" as it were, might not work at first, since you are just seen as a random person who showed up. That is how I understood the OP and why he had to find a different way.

I have also had to make a case with my stepchildren. Basically, the case is this--you stay here, but things will be this way. Otherwise, you can go live with grandma and grandpa. That is the distilled version. There were many trying times and it has taken years to direct them in a better direction. I was lucky and arrived on the scene earlier, so the teen stuff hadn't come into play.

I just think that the OP was facing a drastic situation, and drastic measure were called for. I haven't had to deal with anything like that, and hopefully I won't have to (I am in the danger zone for that kind of thing right now....so far so good, fingers crossed).

It is also difficult (alert: not Thai bashing here) as many Thais are very "mai benrai" with these situations, so the young person continues the behavior with almost no consequences, other than maybe a tongue lashing. That's just how a lot of Thais deal with their kids. So it isn't easy at all to find a way to discipline stepchildren when you are new on the scene. With time, if things go right, they will come to love you and respect you and maybe have more of the kind of relationship you are envisioning, Kevvy. Just...all of us didn't arrive at such a dangerous time in life as the OP did in his daughter's life.

Thank you Dao16... your right on the money.....a 100% correct assessment of my situation....I wanted to give you a "like" but I ran out.....Thanks Again for your support and everybody else who realized what a difficult spot I was in ...

Edited October 29, 2013 by beachproperty

[kevvy]

Well there is no win here for anybody , not saying we have to win , i have my views and other people share the same and the OP has his which people feel the same . So as one member said this is a forum and we can put our opinions on here without getting nasty to each other. as the OP asked me , are we still going fishing ? hell yes... will we argue in the future about something we dont agreed with ..hell yes... but one thing for sure is that I am a better fisherman than he is.

[beachproperty]

Well there is no win here for anybody , not saying we have to win , i have my views and other people share the same and the OP has his which people feel the same . So as one member said this is a forum and we can put our opinions on here without getting nasty to each other. as the OP asked me , are we still going fishing ? hell yes... will we argue in the future about something we dont agreed with ..hell yes... but one thing for sure is that I am a better fisherman than he is.

Guess we'll argue about who's the better fisherman another time.....for now I do appreciate and respect ALL the opinions given ...Much appreciated! Funny thing was, the point of the post was supposed to be about good stories/stories with good endings.....but it somehow turned into a discussion on discipline...oh well...Best to all... and again Thanks!!!!

[chuckd]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Not bad coming from a poster, who only joined yesterday!!

So for future reference: I you agree with miss lemon, please go on posting. If in the unlikely event, you don't agree with her, go and do charity work!!

Who do you think, you are??

I joined the forum nearly nine years before you did. To me...you are a newbie.

LemonSqueezea has the same right to post an opinion that you (or I) have.

Seniority gives you no special rights around here.

[Forethat]

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Proved effective?

In my opinion things could have gone really bad. If one start messing with a teenagers mind by refusing her entrance to her home at 2AM one need to realise that things can go downhill very quickly. This time it went well, but to claim that one made the right decision simply because it "proved effective" THIS time is beyond naivety if you ask me.

She shouldn't have been out there in the first place, if OP had been as responsible as he claim to be. He should have secured the girl and dealt with this in an adult way. What he did resembles the attitude often found amongst pissed off 3-year olds, pretty much the worst case scenario if the girl had behaved in exactly the same way the OP did.

Again, I'm only sharing my opinion, which is I think YOU behaved like a child. But good for you playing Russian roulette with a 14 year old girl "proved effective" this time.

I can only say that if I was the father of a 14-year old girl who was refused entrance to her home at 2AM in the morning by a grown up brat, he would have been subject to a beating so bad his own mother wouldn't recognise him.

Some parents think they are doing the right thing bringing up their children , but in this case it was not . The op told his story and then the posts after he started telling more to the story E.G the blinds she climbed up were safe. He didn't say that in the beginning. And other posts how good a father he has been , which we were not arguing about that .just this one story about his daughter didnt come home on time . Well after she was late why didnt he ring her and ring where she was , as he is a good father he should have known where she was , dont all parents know that about the young daughters when they go out. Or , did he just wanted to teach her a lesson, so 10 minutes after 10 , and refused to ring her . But there will be more to the story now as he will say he did. # As I said it is only this story about the daughter , not saying he is a bad father, but a bad decision with this story .

Well, if I read the original post correctly, he didn't arrive on the scene until she was already 14 and running around like a crazy person, due to the mother's situation before (very common...I see it every day). As a stepfather, it takes time to build up authority of the kind you are talking about (for Thai stepfathers, too....same). So, "laying down the law" as it were, might not work at first, since you are just seen as a random person who showed up. That is how I understood the OP and why he had to find a different way.

Apologies if I comment on your post without reason, but since I'm in the trail of quotes I'll assume you comment on something that related to my post.

First of all, when I initially stated that the problem was not the 14-year old, I wasn't referring to OP. It is obvious that not only OP but also a few others made that assumption. I have no clue why. The problem - pay attention - is with the parenting, and by that I mean parenting as in "the values as shared and taught". If you have a child that is not in bed before midnight you've failed miserably to communicate some sort of values.

BUT, seriously; locking the doors and refuse a 14-year old entry to her home when she finally comes home at 2AM...? That is, in my humble opinion, the worst example of wrecked parenting I have heard. Granted it is a wee bit late to start thinking about parenting, but the parental behaviour in this situation resembles that of a little crying child. How anyone would even consider supporting this type of behaviour is even more remarkable.

People who behaves like this should have their parental rights revoked, if you ask me, but considering the behaviour and mentality of many Thais - AND posters on here - I'm not surprised if my view is challenged. Am I wrong thinking a majority are uneducated or at least lack a post high-school degree?

[MAJIC]

Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone else's young people than it is your own.

One of my 20 year old work colleagues,was telling me, how he was very angry,that his parents would not let him sleep with his Girlfriend in his own bedroom. (in the family house) So I explained to him his parents probably didn't mind too much,but they have to be sure that this is the girl that you will eventually marry. If not,then next time you have a new Girlfriend,you will expect the same to happen.

So... then you are bringing your parents house into disrepute, by this time he was nodding slightly,and then I said "do you really want your mates to think of your parents,and your house to be known as the local knocking shop?" by this time he was shaking his head. So I finished off our conversation,with "So you you are earning good money here, a good reason to take her to a hotel for the night,and then everyone is happy!

But conversations like this,would most likely be too difficult with your own children....Just another point of view!

Edited October 29, 2013 by MAJIC

[waynerooney]

You changed a life for the the better, i take my hat of to you, yes buy her something nice for Xmas and enjoy the reward in her eyes as sparkle with appreciation for the place you have in her heart.

[kevvy]

 

 

 

what astonishes me is the myopathy of the posters here. when presented an anecdote of a difficult time told only to reinforce how much better things have become some herecan only focus on the bad. which in this case proved effective.

take care of your own kids or do some charity work and leave the rest of us here to go about our business as wee see fit.

Proved effective?

In my opinion things could have gone really bad. If one start messing with a teenagers mind by refusing her entrance to her home at 2AM one need to realise that things can go downhill very quickly. This time it went well, but to claim that one made the right decision simply because it "proved effective" THIS time is beyond naivety if you ask me.

She shouldn't have been out there in the first place, if OP had been as responsible as he claim to be. He should have secured the girl and dealt with this in an adult way. What he did resembles the attitude often found amongst pissed off 3-year olds, pretty much the worst case scenario if the girl had behaved in exactly the same way the OP did.

Again, I'm only sharing my opinion, which is I think YOU behaved like a child. But good for you playing Russian roulette with a 14 year old girl "proved effective" this time.

I can only say that if I was the father of a 14-year old girl who was refused entrance to her home at 2AM in the morning by a grown up brat, he would have been subject to a beating so bad his own mother wouldn't recognise him.

 

 

Some parents think they are doing the right thing bringing up their children , but in this case it was not . The op told his story and then the posts after he started telling more to the story E.G the blinds she climbed up were safe. He didn't say that in the beginning. And other posts how good a father he has been , which we were not arguing about that .just this one story about his daughter didnt come home on time . Well after she was late why didnt he ring her and ring where she was , as he is a good father he should have known where she was , dont all parents know that about the young daughters when they go out. Or , did he just wanted to teach her a lesson, so 10 minutes after 10 , and refused to ring her . But there will be more to the story now as he will say he did.  # As I said it is only this story about the daughter , not saying he is a bad father, but a bad decision with this story .

 

Well, if I read the original post correctly, he didn't arrive on the scene until she was already 14 and running around like a crazy person, due to the mother's situation before (very common...I see it every day). As a stepfather, it takes time to build up authority of the kind you are talking about (for Thai stepfathers, too....same). So, "laying down the law" as it were, might not work at first, since you are just seen as a random person who showed up. That is how I understood the OP and why he had to find a different way.

 

Apologies if I comment on your post without reason, but since I'm in the trail of quotes I'll assume you comment on something that related to my post.

First of all, when I initially stated that the problem was not the 14-year old, I wasn't referring to OP. It is obvious that not only OP but also a few others made that assumption. I have no clue why. The problem - pay attention - is with the parenting, and by that I mean parenting as in "the values as shared and taught". If you have a child that is not in bed before midnight you've failed miserably to communicate some sort of values.

BUT, seriously; locking the doors and refuse a 14-year old entry to her home when she finally comes home at 2AM...? That is, in my humble opinion, the worst example of wrecked parenting I have heard. Granted it is a wee bit late to start thinking about parenting, but the parental behaviour in this situation resembles that of a little crying child. How anyone would even consider supporting this type of behaviour is even more remarkable.

 

People who behaves like this should have their parental rights revoked, if you ask me, but considering the behaviour and mentality of many Thais - AND posters on here - I'm not surprised if my view is challenged. Am I wrong thinking a majority are uneducated or at least lack a post high-school degree?

 

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well said totally agree with you .

[beachproperty]

Poll tally as of Now........9 to 1 in favor of me (beachproperty)......Was I right? don't think that's the question ........Did it work? YES

Parenting is a fluid situation.....would I have locked her out forever ...of course NOT....didn't come to that ....another poster told the story of when his daughter was young and she told them she was running away....the parents helped her packed.....Would they have actually let her run away.....NO.....Are they bad parents ...NO

Same thing happened to me when I was young.....Can't remember all the details but suffice it to say that I told my parents I was running away.....they did the same thing .....packed a bag for me.....only thing different was that I was stubborn and kept up the act of running away to the end....My parents just opened the door and said "bye".......so stubborn me ....I slowly walked out ....and went ....looking over my shoulder every few meters to see if they were coming to get me.....Nope...no where in sight.....got about 3 blocks away when I got scared enough to eat my pride and walk back home.....Knocked and the door ....mother answered and said "Can I help you?"......stunned again thinking they didn't want me I said "I forgot my toothbrush"......My mother laughed, hugged me and told me she loved me.....That's all I needed.....and that's all any child needs is "love"............Were my parents bad parents and wrong for letting a 7 year old boy walk 3 blocks on his own (where I could've been KIDNAPPED, KILLED, ROBBED.....a lot of could've should've would've's) ...........NO.......did it work.....Sure did ........

Edited October 30, 2013 by beachproperty

[benalibina]

Poll tally as of Now........9 to 1 in favor of me (beachproperty)......Was I right? don't think that's the question ........Did it work? YES

Parenting is a fluid situation.....would I have locked her out forever ...of course NOT....didn't come to that ....another poster told the story of when his daughter was young and she told them she was running away....the parents helped her packed.....Would they have actually let her run away.....NO.....Are they bad parents ...NO

Same thing happened to me when I was young.....Can't remember all the details but suffice it to say that I told my parents I was running away.....they did the same thing .....packed a bag for me.....only thing different was that I was stubborn and kept up the act of running away to the end....My parents just opened the door and said "bye".......so stubborn me ....I slowly walked out ....and went ....looking over my shoulder every few meters to see if they were coming to get me.....Nope...no where in sight.....got about 3 blocks away when I got scared enough to eat my pride and walk back home.....Knocked and the door ....mother answered and said "Can I help you?"......stunned again thinking they didn't want me I said "I forgot my toothbrush"......My mother laughed, hugged me and told me she loved me.....That's all I needed.....and that's all any child needs is "love"............Were my parents bad parents and wrong for letting a 7 year old boy walk 3 blocks on his own (where I could've been KIDNAPPED, KILLED, ROBBED.....a lot of could've should've would've's) ...........NO.......did it work.....Sure did ........

I am ....well baffled to say the least. You seem to be nice man who, on his way, cares for children but pride in a pointless pissingcontest about who is right well......let it go for your own sake. Accept that others think different, with motivation too as of why, and let it go.

[kevozman1]

Poll tally as of Now........9 to 1 in favor of me (beachproperty)......Was I right? don't think that's the question ........Did it work? YES

Parenting is a fluid situation.....would I have locked her out forever ...of course NOT....didn't come to that ....another poster told the story of when his daughter was young and she told them she was running away....the parents helped her packed.....Would they have actually let her run away.....NO.....Are they bad parents ...NO

Same thing happened to me when I was young.....Can't remember all the details but suffice it to say that I told my parents I was running away.....they did the same thing .....packed a bag for me.....only thing different was that I was stubborn and kept up the act of running away to the end....My parents just opened the door and said "bye".......so stubborn me ....I slowly walked out ....and went ....looking over my shoulder every few meters to see if they were coming to get me.....Nope...no where in sight.....got about 3 blocks away when I got scared enough to eat my pride and walk back home.....Knocked and the door ....mother answered and said "Can I help you?"......stunned again thinking they didn't want me I said "I forgot my toothbrush"......My mother laughed, hugged me and told me she loved me.....That's all I needed.....and that's all any child needs is "love"............Were my parents bad parents and wrong for letting a 7 year old boy walk 3 blocks on his own (where I could've been KIDNAPPED, KILLED, ROBBED.....a lot of could've should've would've's) ...........NO.......did it work.....Sure did ........

I am ....well baffled to say the least. You seem to be nice man who, on his way, cares for children but pride in a pointless pissingcontest about who is right well......let it go for your own sake. Accept that others think different, with motivation too as of why, and let it go.

I think the OP is probably just trolling around here tbh, the other poll thread suggests so at least. In any case posting about such things as the OP mentioned on an internet forum full of strangers is not the way to go. Family issues should stay with the family or with close friends/trusted acquaintances, imo. No one needs their personal trends and customs bashed by complete strangers and it always goes that way.

[beachproperty]

kevozman1

I think the OP is probably just trolling around here tbh, the other poll thread suggests so at least. In any case posting about such things as the OP mentioned on an internet forum full of strangers is not the way to go. Family issues should stay with the family or with close friends/trusted acquaintances, imo. No one needs their personal trends and customs bashed by complete strangers and it always goes that way.

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Call it what you like.....My initial post was NOT about discipline or Parenting styles.....but this topic evolved to that.....and a rather important issue I would say....the different points of view on how to handle this situation....(actually only 1 was forwarded......grounding) ...are what discussions are about....Are TV posters so dense that a lively discussion on Discipline is beyond them? I think not ....and I actually respect the help that has been given so far .....I'm new to this type of thing (been a member less than 10 days) ...so if I have been out of line.....sorry.....just not into topics like Do you still use toilet paper?

[godden]

Step son coming home late all the time, one night i opened the told him i had but one piece of advice for him, that way is bangkok that way is chiang mai and shut the door.

[kikoman]

kevozman1

I think the OP is probably just trolling around here tbh, the other poll thread suggests so at least. In any case posting about such things as the OP mentioned on an internet forum full of strangers is not the way to go. Family issues should stay with the family or with close friends/trusted acquaintances, imo. No one needs their personal trends and customs bashed by complete strangers and it always goes that way.

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Call it what you like.....My initial post was NOT about discipline or Parenting styles.....but this topic evolved to that.....and a rather important issue I would say....the different points of view on how to handle this situation....(actually only 1 was forwarded......grounding) ...are what discussions are about....Are TV posters so dense that a lively discussion on Discipline is beyond them? I think not ....and I actually respect the help that has been given so far .....I'm new to this type of thing (been a member less than 10 days) ...so if I have been out of line.....sorry.....just not into topics like Do you still use toilet paper?

If you have only been a TV member for 10 days it would be wise to check the past post(s) of your harshest critic go back and check on their posting history, they do not discuss, which is a two way street. They argue which is a one way street, their posting style is that they act like they agree with part of your comments, to attempt to get you off balance and to appeal to the other readers that theirs is a fair, logical, balanced approach and try to get you to defend your comment, when you do they simply sit back and nitpick on your explanation.,

The best defense is a good offence, you will also note they use the same points on different threads, remember discussion is a two way street, if they do not respond to the discussion point, cease communicating with them with either positive or negative communication.

Keep posting to those that make valid points, which you may not agree with.

Cheers:

Edited October 30, 2013 by kikoman

[2unique]

Had to take my 5 year old to the temple and threaten to leave her there. Bawled her eyes out until the monk said we only take boys! Started a chart cataloging good vs bad behavior and told her 8 would find find a girl's temple next time. She's much better behaved now - sometimes extreme works I guess...

She starts staying out late at 14 I'm going Uncle Buck on her. I'll just turn up at the party or club, introduce myself as her father and do my daddy dancing right next to her. Pretty much guarantee her getting home on time than suffer that 2 or 3 times!

Sent from Android please excuse errors in type or judgement

[cup-O-coffee]

As good of an example of Tough Love as I have ever read. This is also a good example of why being a man is important, as well as placing a great importance on why fathers must be there to raise their children, rather than instead letting single moms raise kids; because otherwise, spoiled kids grow up thinking the door will "always be opened" by an overly kind and soft feminine constitution after their irresponsible and unaccountable behavior. This is a BIG chalk mark against Buddhism, and why uncontrolled and mininterpreted and unrelenting toleration breeds lunatics.

Mom is sweet and tender. Father is "The Line". Don't cross it and show respect for the sweet and tender within the boundaries because life outside that is as cold as hell!

Good on ya, mate! You are a man's man and a father's father.

[beachproperty]

As good of an example of Tough Love as I have ever read. This is also a good example of why being a man is important, as well as placing a great importance on why fathers must be there to raise their children, rather than instead letting single moms raise kids; because otherwise, spoiled kids grow up thinking the door will "always be opened" by an overly kind and soft feminine constitution after their irresponsible and unaccountable behavior. This is a BIG chalk mark against Buddhism, and why uncontrolled and mininterpreted and unrelenting toleration breeds lunatics.

Mom is sweet and tender. Father is "The Line". Don't cross it and show respect for the sweet and tender within the boundaries because life outside that is as cold as hell!

Good on ya, mate! You are a man's man and a father's father.

Thanks for the support....Have had many supporting what I did, and its much appreciated. Would've given you a "like" but too many supporters already and ran out....So just want to say again.....Thanks for the support ....keep the opinions coming.....good and bad.

[kevvy]

As good of an example of Tough Love as I have ever read. This is also a good example of why being a man is important, as well as placing a great importance on why fathers must be there to raise their children, rather than instead letting single moms raise kids; because otherwise, spoiled kids grow up thinking the door will "always be opened" by an overly kind and soft feminine constitution after their irresponsible and unaccountable behavior. This is a BIG chalk mark against Buddhism, and why uncontrolled and mininterpreted and unrelenting toleration breeds lunatics.

 

Mom is sweet and tender. Father is "The Line". Don't cross it and show respect for the sweet and tender within the boundaries because life outside that is as cold as hell!

 

Good on ya, mate! You are a man's man and a father's father.

Thanks for the support....Have had many supporting what I did, and its much appreciated. Would've given you a "like" but too many supporters already and ran out....So just want to say again.....Thanks for the support ....keep the opinions coming.....good and bad.

This man started a another poll to ask members who is right. What lenghts he will go to to prove he was right does this happen in his home too. Think about it .

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[beachproperty]

kevvy

This man started a another poll to ask members who is right. What lenghts he will go to to prove he was right does this happen in his home too. Think about it .

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Yes Kevvy ....your right I did start another topic...If its your purpose to attempt to discredit me as you are unable to prove your case on its merits.....please spare me......In case you forgot....This topic was originally supposed to be about nice stories (stepfather and daughter bonding)....You though, hi-jacked the topic and changed it to and focused on Discipline.....so all I did was start another post directing people here.....there is nothing here about who is right or wrong as much as that is what you would like it to be....

The other topic post (which seems to have taken on a life of its own) has the link below ....(just asks which method TV viewers think is more appropriate ......not right or wrong....although TV posters seem to take some things to the extreme and paint them as black and white.....)

Poll regarding How to Discipline for your Child

Edited October 30, 2013 by beachproperty

[seajae]

OK, I am a father and have raised 3 of my own daughters and now have a 14y/o thai stepdaughter. This should never have happened in the first place, I have found that here in Thailand the kids get away with whatever they like because the parents refuse to discipline them. Anyone allowing a 14y/o out till 2am is an idiot and asking for trouble. One of my daughters(14) was raped and thrown from a train(died) in Sydney while travelling to her grandmothers(daytime), there are a lot of creeps out there so even when you think they are ok they arent. Some things you cannot prevent but we need to try to instill a set of ethics in our kids, something thai parents do not seem to do. Yes she needed to be pulled into line, locking her out was extreme even though it worked, grounding would have been a lot better and if she refused then telling her that if she was to live with you in the house then she HAD to follow the rules and being out after 10pm was not allowed. No mobile phone, no money etc would also bring her into line, a lot less harsh but again they would soon take effect without having to lock her out at 2 am. In reality if you want to lay blame look at your wife, I have had to do the same here and it is actually starting to work. Our daughter insisted on sitting up all night watching movies/cartoons on the internet, it is now cut to her room at 10pm(wifi), her mother does not let her do as she pleases anymore and is starting to pull her into line, making her use manners, making her answer when spoken to etc. Unless the parents enforce the rules then the kids will keep running amock, be grateful what you did worked but it could have easily gone the other way as well. Parenting is not easy, being a step parent is even harder as they are not our own even though we may look at them as if they are, if we can earn their respect then we have done something right but we must always have their best welfare at heart when we do things.