Middle Thailand Increasingly Thinking Marrying A Farang Is "Low Class"

[LaraC]

You think Thai cant differenciate between obviously well-matched Thai/Farang relationships and ones based on.. security?

Mixed race and culture partnerships happens all over the world, and surely all can see when the pairing seems generally well-matched. Similar age, mindset, academic background etc.

If i, as a young farang woman, were to marry an overweight elderly man with maybe some health issues or charm issues..etc. You can be sure people would think "he must have money". Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd.

But, ultimately its up to people to decide what makes them happy, and who are we to judge as long as they arent harming anyone.

Was your appointment as judge civil or religious?

Point out where exactly im aparently judging.

You wrote, "Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd."

Are you honestly saying that if you saw a 20 something farang lady with a 60 or 70 year old partner, you wouldnt consider that odd?

I ended by saying ultimately people should do what makes them happy (and "who are we to judge").

There was nothing judgemental in my post, in fact, it was pro being happy in life.

Cant speak the bloody truth on this forum, especially if you are a farang woman.

The fact of the matter that any farang woman with a voice in this forum is shot down, thats the long and the shot of it really.

[arthurwait]

Are you honestly saying that if you saw a 20 something farang lady with a 60 or 70 year old partner, you wouldnt consider that odd?

I ended by saying ultimately people should do what makes them happy (and "who are we to judge").

There was nothing judgemental in my post, in fact, it was pro being happy in life.

Cant speak the bloody truth on this forum, especially if you are a farang woman.

The fact of the matter that any farang woman with a voice in this forum is shot down, thats the long and the shot of it really.

Nothing strange about taking your Grandad out for a pint.

[Forethat]

Paradorn ain't middle class. He's probably made a fortune with his potency pills

Besides, he dumped her already. I reckon the best before date arrived.

Now did he?

I watched a TV show where they appeared after announcing their divorce. Judging from body language in combination with what was said, I got the impression Ms Glebova was the one doing the dumping but was kind enough to do her best to help him save face...

[i claudius]

Rubbish ,all our Thai friends are quite well off ,and i have never heard this "generalisation" before and speaking to my wife she said 'if that was the case why do we get invited out so much and when they go away they always bring us a small gift ? i dont think its because they look down on us ,but there again i suppose if your the sort of person who has lots of tats walks around the streets in singlet and shorts and your wife dresses like a hooker ,they may indeed look down on you.

[seajae]

sounds more like you have very racist friends to me, my wife is far from poor and so are her family and they would probably rate above middle class as well. This seems more like a group of thais that believe they are above "farangs" and do not realize they are deluding themselves. Unfortunately there are still many thais that are brainwashed into thinking that Thailand is a great world leading nation and that thai people are better than everyone else, news flash, it isnt and they arent. Unfortunately you get these types in every country, they simply cannot see past their own bias and racial dislikes. It is more likely that they are upset that they are simply not as intelligent and are seen to be stupid when compared to most western schooled farangs, after all, the only reason they pass their own schooling is because thay are not allowed to be given fail marks in case they lose face, poor darlings.

[FiftyTwo]

You think Thai cant differenciate between obviously well-matched Thai/Farang relationships and ones based on.. security?

Mixed race and culture partnerships happens all over the world, and surely all can see when the pairing seems generally well-matched. Similar age, mindset, academic background etc.

If i, as a young farang woman, were to marry an overweight elderly man with maybe some health issues or charm issues..etc. You can be sure people would think "he must have money". Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd.

But, ultimately its up to people to decide what makes them happy, and who are we to judge as long as they arent harming anyone.

In America and many western countries it would seem odd, western culture dictates you marry for love.

In the rest of the world it would seem normal, they often have arranged marriages, love not required.

Funny fact

In marriages for love in the USA, divorce rate is nearly 50%

In arranged marriages worldwide, divorce rate is 6%

Western world only accounts for about 15% of the world population, our culture is in the minority.

Not to mention we are living in an Asia country.

As for racism, many Asians look down on those who marry non-Asians.

Nothing new, it has been like that throughout known history.

Edited October 29, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Berkshire]

You're gonna need ta bump up your game lads !

If you're referring to some of the responses on this thread, I'd agree. Saying that it's a jealousy thing is pretty lame and really not believable.

[thailiketoo]

Was your appointment as judge civil or religious?

Point out where exactly im aparently judging.

You wrote, "Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd."

Are you honestly saying that if you saw a 20 something farang lady with a 60 or 70 year old partner, you wouldnt consider that odd?

I ended by saying ultimately people should do what makes them happy (and "who are we to judge").

There was nothing judgemental in my post, in fact, it was pro being happy in life.

Cant speak the bloody truth on this forum, especially if you are a farang woman.

The fact of the matter that any farang woman with a voice in this forum is shot down, thats the long and the shot of it really.

Perhaps you are confusing "Judging" and the "bloody truth." You may think you are speaking the bloody truth and that you are the keeper of the bloody truth. But don't get upset when someone else thinks you might not be the keeper of the bloody truth. You did ask me a question. You wrote, " Are you honestly saying that if you saw a 20 something farang lady with a 60 or 70 year old partner, you wouldnt consider that odd?" No, I would consider it normal for Asia where age is more respected than in the West. I would be the first one to fight for your right to say anything you like right or wrong. I listen to you and you listen to me. No harm no foul. Perhaps we both learn something.

Edited October 29, 2013 by thailiketoo

[Berkshire]

I've never really given a toss what anyone in Thailand thinks of what I do in Thailand and in fact it has never occurred to me to ask anyone what they think. Thais aren't exactly the most worldly people so I would imagine that thinking that a relationship with a farang is low class, or that there are ghosts floating around the Kingdom goes hand in hand.

Truth is that while there may be some Thais who think as the OP alleges, I'd say western tourists are much more judgmental towards farang/Thai relationships. So all these westerners aren't very "worldly people".....?

[kurnell]

I've never really given a toss what anyone in Thailand thinks of what I do in Thailand and in fact it has never occurred to me to ask anyone what they think. Thais aren't exactly the most worldly people so I would imagine that thinking that a relationship with a farang is low class, or that there are ghosts floating around the Kingdom goes hand in hand.

Truth is that while there may be some Thais who think as the OP alleges, I'd say western tourists are much more judgmental towards farang/Thai relationships. So all these westerners aren't very "worldly people".....?

Word! I had the scandies staring daggers at me and the msz when the was preggers in Krabi 8 years ago.

[LaraC]

You think Thai cant differenciate between obviously well-matched Thai/Farang relationships and ones based on.. security?

Mixed race and culture partnerships happens all over the world, and surely all can see when the pairing seems generally well-matched. Similar age, mindset, academic background etc.

If i, as a young farang woman, were to marry an overweight elderly man with maybe some health issues or charm issues..etc. You can be sure people would think "he must have money". Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd.

But, ultimately its up to people to decide what makes them happy, and who are we to judge as long as they arent harming anyone.

In America and many western countries it would seem odd, western culture dictates you marry for love.

In the rest of the world it would seem normal, they often have arranged marriages, love not required.

Funny fact

In marriages for love in the USA, divorce rate is nearly 50%

In arranged marriages worldwide, divorce rate is 6%

Western world only accounts for about 15% of the world population, our culture is in the minority.

Not to mention we are living in an Asia country.

As for racism, many Asians look down on those who marry non-Asians.

Nothing new, it has been like that throughout known history.

In Thailand many marriages are unofficial, and when they do marry, its taboo to divorce (loss of face). Enter Mia Nois. The lack of official or quantifiable divorce statistics in Thailand does not indicate happier partnerships.

[FiftyTwo]

You think Thai cant differenciate between obviously well-matched Thai/Farang relationships and ones based on.. security?

Mixed race and culture partnerships happens all over the world, and surely all can see when the pairing seems generally well-matched. Similar age, mindset, academic background etc.

If i, as a young farang woman, were to marry an overweight elderly man with maybe some health issues or charm issues..etc. You can be sure people would think "he must have money". Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd.

But, ultimately its up to people to decide what makes them happy, and who are we to judge as long as they arent harming anyone.

In America and many western countries it would seem odd, western culture dictates you marry for love.

In the rest of the world it would seem normal, they often have arranged marriages, love not required.

Funny fact

In marriages for love in the USA, divorce rate is nearly 50%

In arranged marriages worldwide, divorce rate is 6%

Western world only accounts for about 15% of the world population, our culture is in the minority.

Not to mention we are living in an Asia country.

As for racism, many Asians look down on those who marry non-Asians.

Nothing new, it has been like that throughout known history.

In Thailand many marriages are unofficial, and when they do marry, its taboo to divorce (loss of face). Enter Mia Nois. The lack of official or quantifiable divorce statistics in Thailand does not indicate happier partnerships.

Thailand is a small and insignificant part of the rest of the world (and a surprisingly sexually liberal part).

Not only that, but you are wrong about divorce in Thailand, very common, nobody thinks twice about doing it.

Unofficial marriage common due to marital property laws, nobody likes to share.

China, India and Muslim countries are a huge part of the world population, and all practise arranged marriage.

Nobody is slamming you because you are a woman, you're getting slammed for projecting/forcing your moral values on to everyone else, in a country where the people don't share your moral values.

Edited October 29, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[jmerrin]

Interesting response to a good post.

Those people who think the OP is talking rubbish about how the perceptions of Thai-Farang relationships have evolved over the last decade or so are deluding themselves.

The fact is that the economic tides have changed. Gone are the days of your 69 baht to the pound, and 42 baht to the dollar. Middle class Thailand, and its disposable income has exploded while the fortunes of the West have contracted. The "value" of a farang is certainly less than what it was.

Add problematic relationships, aloof farang males who think they are culturally superior, bi-cultural children with a divorced parent on other side of planet, unadjustable farang men who frequently can't get a job here or join in with wider Thai society. Is it any wonder that parents of Thai women who don't need money would prefer them to marry a culturally identical male who is not an unknown from other side of the planet ?

Also a fact is the Thais travel and adjust to abroad a lot better than we adjust to Thailand.

If you think that this middle-class view that it is preferable for a Thai to marry a Thai is proof the Thais are "bigoted", you are probably suffering from the same cultural superiority you may think the middle class Thais have. Everyone has preferences for their sons and daughters, the fact they may be pragmatic does not make them racist.

The middle-income middle-class Thai view of Thai Farang marriages HAS CHANGED over the last 10 years. If you cant see it (those readers in Isaan, poor areas, or Pattaya, Phuket are excused because we are talking about conservative middle-class middle income Thailand) you are living in a bubble and don't understand the place you live in.

Edited October 29, 2013 by jmerrin

[PREM-R]

Paradorn Srichaphan (Thai: ภราดร ศรีชาพันธุ์; born 14 June 1979) is a retired professional tennis player from Thailand. He was the highest ranked men's singles player from Thailand and Asia in history, reaching a career high world no. 9. His nickname is "Ball". Paradorn is extremely popular in Asia, especially in Thailand. He was Thailand's flag bearer at the opening ceremony of the 2004 Summer Olympic Games. The Nation newspaper named him "Thai of the Year." Paradorn was featured on the cover of Time and featured as one of the year's "Asian heroes". Below Paradorn and the Farang he married.

This relationship between a person from Isaan and a Farang failed, just as so many others have.

[LaraC]

You think Thai cant differenciate between obviously well-matched Thai/Farang relationships and ones based on.. security?

Mixed race and culture partnerships happens all over the world, and surely all can see when the pairing seems generally well-matched. Similar age, mindset, academic background etc.

If i, as a young farang woman, were to marry an overweight elderly man with maybe some health issues or charm issues..etc. You can be sure people would think "he must have money". Frankly, like it or not, it would appear odd.

But, ultimately its up to people to decide what makes them happy, and who are we to judge as long as they arent harming anyone.

In America and many western countries it would seem odd, western culture dictates you marry for love.

In the rest of the world it would seem normal, they often have arranged marriages, love not required.

Funny fact

In marriages for love in the USA, divorce rate is nearly 50%

In arranged marriages worldwide, divorce rate is 6%

Western world only accounts for about 15% of the world population, our culture is in the minority.

Not to mention we are living in an Asia country.

As for racism, many Asians look down on those who marry non-Asians.

Nothing new, it has been like that throughout known history.

In Thailand many marriages are unofficial, and when they do marry, its taboo to divorce (loss of face). Enter Mia Nois. The lack of official or quantifiable divorce statistics in Thailand does not indicate happier partnerships.

Thailand is a small and insignificant part of the rest of the world (and a surprisingly sexually liberal part).

Not only that, but you are wrong about divorce in Thailand, very common, nobody thinks twice about doing it.

Unofficial marriage common due to marital property laws, nobody likes to share.

China, India and Muslim countries are a huge part of the world population, and all practise arranged marriage.

Nobody is slamming you because you are a woman, you're getting slammed for projecting/forcing your moral values on to everyone else, in a country where the people don't share your moral values.

What are my moral values and where did i state them ?

[DrTuner]

The middle income middle-class Thai view of Thai Farang marriages HAS CHANGED over the last 10 years. If you cant see it (those readers in Isaan, poor areas, or Pattaya, Phuket are excused because we are talking about conservative middle-class middle income Thailand) you are living in a bubble and don't understand the place you live in.

You just gave the reason why Isaan, Pattaya and Phuket (among other similars) are the only livable places in Thailand. Who in their right mind would like to live in conservative middle-class middle income Thailand ?

Edited October 29, 2013 by DrTuner

[jmerrin]

The middle income middle-class Thai view of Thai Farang marriages HAS CHANGED over the last 10 years. If you cant see it (those readers in Isaan, poor areas, or Pattaya, Phuket are excused because we are talking about conservative middle-class middle income Thailand) you are living in a bubble and don't understand the place you live in.

You just gave the reason why Isaan, Pattaya and Phuket (among other similars) are the only livable places in Thailand. Who in their right mind would like to live in conservative middle-class middle income Thailand ?

you might well be right there!!!

[I knew this would happen]

In America and many western countries it would seem odd, western culture dictates you marry for love.

In the rest of the world it would seem normal, they often have arranged marriages, love not required.

Funny fact

In marriages for love in the USA, divorce rate is nearly 50%

In arranged marriages worldwide, divorce rate is 6%

Western world only accounts for about 15% of the world population, our culture is in the minority.

Not to mention we are living in an Asia country.

As for racism, many Asians look down on those who marry non-Asians.

Nothing new, it has been like that throughout known history.

I think the divorce rate of forced mariages can´t be compared to those done with a free will.

It´s of course not the same everywhere, but in an old fashioned stone age forced marriage the women is an object chaning it´s owner. She cannot run away, she belongs to her husband, she grew up in such circumstances and doesn´t know anything else, leaving the husband will damage the families honor, she´ll hardly find a new husband, she might suffer from poor education....and so on...........

[kannot]

Just shows how closed their minds are and nothing else.

[FiftyTwo]

I think the divorce rate of forced mariages can´t be compared to those done with a free will.

It´s of course not the same everywhere, but in an old fashioned stone age forced marriage the women is an object chaning it´s owner. She cannot run away, she belongs to her husband, she grew up in such circumstances and doesn´t know anything else, leaving the husband will damage the families honor, she´ll hardly find a new husband, she might suffer from poor education....and so on...........

Arranged marriage is not forced marriage.

Most of the guys and girls involved are fully willing participants.

Are for those that are forced,

Why are you picking on the woman being forced, maybe the guy is the one being forced?

[thailiketoo]

Paradorn Srichaphan (Thai: ภราดร ศรีชาพันธุ์; born 14 June 1979) is a retired professional tennis player from Thailand. He was the highest ranked men's singles player from Thailand and Asia in history, reaching a career high world no. 9. His nickname is "Ball". Paradorn is extremely popular in Asia, especially in Thailand. He was Thailand's flag bearer at the opening ceremony of the 2004 Summer Olympic Games. The Nation newspaper named him "Thai of the Year." Paradorn was featured on the cover of Time and featured as one of the year's "Asian heroes". Below Paradorn and the Farang he married.

This relationship between a person from Isaan and a Farang failed, just as so many others have.

True proving that face has little to do with Asian reality. But, I think the point was that he was an Asian role model and found no problem in Thailand or the rest of Asia when he married a Farang in fact it may be expected when you are a success and looking for a trophy wife that a Farang is the first choice. You may want to google Tiger Wood's women for another example.

[TheSpade]

I've met everything from less well off Thai's to well off Thai's who were interested in farangs.

From 7/11 workers to brain surgeons.

[I knew this would happen]

I think the divorce rate of forced mariages can´t be compared to those done with a free will.

It´s of course not the same everywhere, but in an old fashioned stone age forced marriage the women is an object chaning it´s owner. She cannot run away, she belongs to her husband, she grew up in such circumstances and doesn´t know anything else, leaving the husband will damage the families honor, she´ll hardly find a new husband, she might suffer from poor education....and so on...........

Arranged marriage is not forced marriage.

Most of the guys and girls involved are fully willing participants.

Are for those that are forced,

Why are you picking on the woman being forced, maybe the guy is the one being forced?

There are of course very different forms of forced or arranged marriage. Every culture has or had it´s own form of it.

Does it matter who is forced? Guy or girl? Do you want to be told how to live your life?

"Most of the guys and girls involved are fully willing participants" Maybe because it is expected from them?

Anyway, this doesn´t fit in here. Kinda impossible to compare western values and morales to different cultures, as everyone will claim to know the truth. Just now I made the same mistake

Edited October 29, 2013 by I knew this would happen

[Rob8891]

Hmmm... a member who has an account for 9.5 years and posts only 23 times. Where have I seen that scenario before?...and, surprise surprise, it looks to be a troll OP.

Credit where it's due however, you got a lot of 'bites'.

[yingyo]

All my Western friends here are married to Thai graduates from Chula, Thammasat etc. Some who met their husband while studying for their M.A. or PhD in the UK or Aus.

A few middleclass Thai women I now are married to dark and ugly Thais, much richer than themselves and their family from Southern Thailand and also an Indian Thai.

[metisdead]

Inflammatory posts and a post containing profanity have been removed.

[HardenedSoul]

If what the OP says is true - and I'm not entirely convinced it is - then the primary reason why some newly-moneyed, emerging Thai middle class might think that way about Thai/Farang marriages has less to do with the differences between the cultures and more to do with the massive age gap that tends to hallmark an awful lot of the mixed couples they've seen.

Despite the self-serving and, quite frankly, ridiculous assertions from some forum members married to women up to 35 years their junior that huge age-gap relationships are perfectly common and acceptable in Thailand, the truth is they're not. The norm is for couples to be of a similar age. While it is certainly true that advanced years are revered in Asia, be under no illusions; as far as Thais are concerned, it's one thing to have respect for your elders but quite another to take a portion off them.

Edited October 29, 2013 by HardenedSoul

[Thai at Heart]

Did Thais ever think it was high class?

[I knew this would happen]

Some high class Thais did it, so is it low class?

[yingyo]

Did Thais ever think it was high class?

Well one very high class Thai did it.

She is no longer a member of the Thai royal family.

Edited October 29, 2013 by yingyo