Poll regarding How to Discipline for your Child

[beachproperty]

Dear TV readers a Topic was started called

Christmas in Thailand....My daughter

Although I was only trying to tell a cute story as happens in TV the "vitril" started flying please go to said Topic and Vote on which method of discipline you think would've been best in dealing with my "independent and rebellious" 14 year old daughter ...I hope there is enough information there for you to make an informed opinion as I look forward to the results

To vote for beachpropery press "like" in the #1 post

To vote for Kevvy press "like" in the #6 post

To the moderators if this post or topic is inappropriate....please delete

Edited October 29, 2013 by beachproperty

[I Like Thai]

Going by you starting this thread, I would say that you are the type of person who is always right. 100% of the time. But I am not going to feed your ego by voting in a silly poll.

[beachproperty]

Going by you starting this thread, I would say that you are the type of person who is always right. 100% of the time. But I am not going to feed your ego by voting in a silly poll.

I respect your opinion.....but the truth be told I've learned more from my failures than successes....so being wrong is not a problem with me....

[I Like Thai]

Going by you starting this thread, I would say that you are the type of person who is always right. 100% of the time. But I am not going to feed your ego by voting in a silly poll.

I respect your opinion.....but the truth be told I've learned more from my failures than successes....so being wrong is not a problem with me....

So, even when your wrong, you still manage to find the right in it.

To lock a child out of her home and run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong, it is illegal.

[beachproperty]

Going by you starting this thread, I would say that you are the type of person who is always right. 100% of the time. But I am not going to feed your ego by voting in a silly poll.

I respect your opinion.....but the truth be told I've learned more from my failures than successes....so being wrong is not a problem with me....

So, even when your wrong, you still manage to find the right in it.

To lock a child out of her home and run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong, it is illegal.

And that's your opinion....great ....I hope you went to the Topic and gave keevy a Like...

Illegal??? and may I ask how? You are aware this occurred in Thailand?

Edited October 29, 2013 by beachproperty

[krisb]

Going by you starting this thread, I would say that you are the type of person who is always right. 100% of the time. But I am not going to feed your ego by voting in a silly poll.

I respect your opinion.....but the truth be told I've learned more from my failures than successes....so being wrong is not a problem with me....

So, even when your wrong, you still manage to find the right in it.

To lock a child out of her home and run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong, it is illegal.

Sometimes tough love is the only way. What 1 parent sees as wrong or harsh, another may see as the right or best option. Locking your kid out may seem harsh, but much harsher was the kid who grew up over the road from me. He used to get belted hard.

[dao16]

I just read the first page of the other thread (can't be bothered to read anymore), but here it goes...

I understand some people's reactions, as they might live in downtown Bangkok, where I certainly wouldn't want my 14 year old (strangely enough, I have a Thai stepdaughter of about that age right now) outside roaming around.

However, sometimes they need to be broken, like a horse, one might say, especially if their behavior is that bad. A half an hour outside, pleading to get in pales in comparison to the trouble she could have found outside in the wee hours of the night. So, for me, you did the right thing and made her completely reassess her way of seeing things. It's a tough moment when you realize that you are weak in the world all alone, and that breaks them.

Of course, you were dealing with one who had already reached a point that required drastic measures. Luckily, we got here a few years earlier and were able to mold our kids before they reached that danger area and now they are turning into cool young adults.

On a final note, we did have severe clashes with the daughter and, yes, she did go storming out a time or two and my wife said "let her go." We didn't lock her out (different situation all together) and I watched from upstairs as she sat out on the street and cried/stared into the nothingness for a few hours. We live sort of in the sticks, so nothing much to get her as long as we checked from time to time. She learned that playing ball with us (and, therefore, with other people) got her farther than always trying to get her way.

What you did definitely hurt her momentarily, but it also helped her long term. Very nice story. Glad she has it together now.

[I Like Thai]

Going by you starting this thread, I would say that you are the type of person who is always right. 100% of the time. But I am not going to feed your ego by voting in a silly poll.

I respect your opinion.....but the truth be told I've learned more from my failures than successes....so being wrong is not a problem with me....

So, even when your wrong, you still manage to find the right in it.

To lock a child out of her home and run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong, it is illegal.

Sometimes tough love is the only way. What 1 parent sees as wrong or harsh, another may see as the right or best option. Locking your kid out may seem harsh, but much harsher was the kid who grew up over the road from me. He used to get belted hard.

Both are wrong. Likening it to a situation that appears worse does not make the first situation any more right.

Two wrongs never make a right.

His first action after taking control of the situation was to lock her out. He didn't do this to help guide her by showing her the error of her ways. He did this so that he would Win! He then came on here to tell everyone about it so that we would pat him on the back and tell him what a wonderful fellow he is

Edited October 29, 2013 by I Like Thai

[beachproperty]

I Like Thai

QUOTE

"Both are wrong. Likening it to a situation that appears worse does not make the first situation any more right.

Two wrongs never make a right.

His first action after taking control of the situation was to lock her out. He didn't do this to help guide her by showing her the error of her ways. He did this so that he would Win! "

Not sure why your so hung up on the WIN -LOSE thing.....All I wanted was a comprise....she wants to go out ...fine...be home by 10pm .....

Heck I wasn't able to stay out past 8pm until I was 17.....

[benalibina]

I truly wonder about your ego.

What do you care what others think ? Your thread got the reactions it deserved. Whether positive or negative. As you are still convinced you did the right thing, why bother what others stated.

At least for all this topic is clear. Others read and commented on the other 1 on their perception. So what ?

[kikoman]

I like Thai

In my opinion your logic is very faulty at best, the child a product of a broken home the mother the single parent working two jobs to support her family. daughter already had many years of the lack of supervision, mother and Farang marry, first time in years she was required to face restrictions, a time limit was set when her partying would end and she was expected to be home. She refuses to comply and was lock out of the home for a short duration of time on two occasions.

Your faulty reasoning, Why are you concerned that she could:

"run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong,it is illegal".

Why would you only think that those dangers you posted to, would only happen after she came home at 2:00 AM, If you are fair in your assessment.

Why would you not worry about her "falling into harms way on the streets at night" between 10:00 PM curfew and 2 AM return home, you have the option of being selective in your opinion. A responsible parent does not and must worry about her falling into harms way every night when she is out on the streets at night.

If you have a reason for your statement ""it is illegal" please explain how it is "illegal"?

Cheers:

[I Like Thai]

I like Thai

In my opinion your logic is very faulty at best, the child a product of a broken home the mother the single parent working two jobs to support her family. daughter already had many years of the lack of supervision, mother and Farang marry, first time in years she was required to face restrictions, a time limit was set when her partying would end and she was expected to be home. She refuses to comply and was lock out of the home for a short duration of time on two occasions.

Your faulty reasoning, Why are you concerned that she could:

"run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong,it is illegal".

Why would you only think that those dangers you posted to, would only happen after she came home at 2:00 AM, If you are fair in your assessment.

Why would you not worry about her "falling into harms way on the streets at night" between 10:00 PM curfew and 2 AM return home, you have the option of being selective in your opinion. A responsible parent does not and must worry about her falling into harms way every night when she is out on the streets at night.

If you have a reason for your statement ""it is illegal" please explain how it is "illegal"?

Cheers:

The OP requested that the child be home by ten. Why ? because it is late and not an appropriate time for a child to be out

She broke the rule and he punished her by inflicting a punishment that goes against the reasoning for having the child in by a reasonable hour.

It's illegal because the op is no relation of this child. He was neither a parent or legal guardian, that is why his action of barring her from her residence is illegal.

Even if he was a guardian, it would be illegal, look at page 8 in the below link

http://www.thailawforum.com/laws/Child%20Protection%20Act.pdf

[Forethat]

I like Thai

In my opinion your logic is very faulty at best, the child a product of a broken home the mother the single parent working two jobs to support her family. daughter already had many years of the lack of supervision, mother and Farang marry, first time in years she was required to face restrictions, a time limit was set when her partying would end and she was expected to be home. She refuses to comply and was lock out of the home for a short duration of time on two occasions.

Your faulty reasoning, Why are you concerned that she could:

"run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong,it is illegal".

Why would you only think that those dangers you posted to, would only happen after she came home at 2:00 AM, If you are fair in your assessment.

Why would you not worry about her "falling into harms way on the streets at night" between 10:00 PM curfew and 2 AM return home, you have the option of being selective in your opinion. A responsible parent does not and must worry about her falling into harms way every night when she is out on the streets at night.

If you have a reason for your statement ""it is illegal" please explain how it is "illegal"?

Cheers:

The OP requested that the child be home by ten. Why ? because it is late and not an appropriate time for a child to be out

She broke the rule and he punished her by inflicting a punishment that goes against the reasoning for having the child in by a reasonable hour.

It's illegal because the op is no relation of this child. He was neither a parent or legal guardian, that is why his action of barring her from her residence is illegal.

Even if he was a guardian, it would be illegal, look at page 8 in the below link

http://www.thailawforum.com/laws/Child%20Protection%20Act.pdf

This is one of the best posts I have ever read on TV. To the point. Well put. Supported by documentation. Hats off!

[mca]

Last year my daughter aged 9 threw a strop over something minor and grandly declared that she was leaving home. So me and my wife helped her pack a suitcase. We both struggled not to laugh as she tried to maintain her composure as my wife asked her " do you want to take this blue dress", "how much underwear do you think you'll need?' etc. The icing on the cake was me offering to take her to the bus station before me and mum went to sizzler ( her favourite) for dinner. Collecting as much dignity as she could muster she then decided that maybe she would leave the next day.

[Jasun]

The tactic worked, but I don't know if it was good parenting or good fortune. We could have been reading a post about the daughter you haven't seen in 6 years who broke into the house and stole the gifts from under the christmas tree.

[kikoman]

I like Thai

In my opinion your logic is very faulty at best, the child a product of a broken home the mother the single parent working two jobs to support her family. daughter already had many years of the lack of supervision, mother and Farang marry, first time in years she was required to face restrictions, a time limit was set when her partying would end and she was expected to be home. She refuses to comply and was lock out of the home for a short duration of time on two occasions.

Your faulty reasoning, Why are you concerned that she could:

"run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong,it is illegal".

Why would you only think that those dangers you posted to, would only happen after she came home at 2:00 AM, If you are fair in your assessment.

Why would you not worry about her "falling into harms way on the streets at night" between 10:00 PM curfew and 2 AM return home, you have the option of being selective in your opinion. A responsible parent does not and must worry about her falling into harms way every night when she is out on the streets at night.

If you have a reason for your statement ""it is illegal" please explain how it is "illegal"?

Cheers:

The OP requested that the child be home by ten. Why ? because it is late and not an appropriate time for a child to be out

She broke the rule and he punished her by inflicting a punishment that goes against the reasoning for having the child in by a reasonable hour.

It's illegal because the op is no relation of this child. He was neither a parent or legal guardian, that is why his action of barring her from her residence is illegal.

Even if he was a guardian, it would be illegal, look at page 8 in the below link

http://www.thailawforum.com/laws/Child%20Protection%20Act.pdf

Did you bother to read the document you posted, I do not believe you did.

Point #1 "He is not a parent or legal guardian", Check the definition of "guardian" which includes "step father" (who the child lives with) check the definition of "primary Shelter" which you state, are the reason you stated "that the OP's actions is illegal".

Your assumption is not what this act states to,.also the act states that the Changwat court is tasked with the responsibility of the judgement of what acts are legal or not in compliance with the intent of the law..

Point #2. check definition under the child actions, ""Child at risk of wrong doing".

The act states to the intent of the law, the Court decides on the proper application of the law.

I am not a lawyer that would interpret and argue their intent of the law before the court.

Simply because a law states to the area of the protection of the child, the legal interpretation and decision of compliance with the law is with the court. an example, prostitution is not legal in Thailand, yet it happens, it is up to the enforcement unit (police), to take issue with a case and the court to decide if the police action was legal.

The law of the land has not been extended to the point as in my home country, where the child has a right to sue the parents, legally divorce the parents, and/or dictate to the parents they have no control over the right's of the child in their household.

We can only thank God for that, nothing in the act states to the child has an absolute right not to obey the rules of his home!

Cheers:

[kikoman]

This is one of the best posts I have ever read on TV. To the point. Well put. Supported by documentation. Hats off!

Please point to what in the documentation you posted to that,

#1 the points involved were well put.

#2 How does the posted documentation, support the points of the poster? Which I find that the poster most likely did not read the act in itself.

I know it is easy to simply agree with the bleeding heart response to someone else's post then to respond where the law concurs with what you posted to,

I understand your statement (in a different post) that education has a lot to do with the responses on TV, but education has nothing to do with good parenting! dose it not? Education does not instill the concept of "common sense" in parenting to a parent.

Many of us have a University degree and many years of paid work experience in the field of Child Protective Services, and what constitutes Abuse, Neglect or Exploitation.

A parent that allows a 14 year old to run the streets, without attempting to deal with that behavior, clearly is neglecting the welfare of that child.

Cheers:

Edited October 30, 2013 by kikoman

[AYJAYDEE]

This is one of the best posts I have ever read on TV. To the point. Well put. Supported by documentation. Hats off!

Please point to what in the documentation you posted to that,

#1 the points involved were well put.

#2 How does the posted documentation, support the points of the poster? Which I find that the poster most likely did not read the act in itself.

I know it is easy to simply agree with the bleeding heart response to someone else's post then to respond where the law concurs with what you posted to,

I understand your statement (in a different post) that education has a lot to do with the responses on TV, but education has nothing to do with good parenting! dose it not? Education does not instill the concept of "common sense" in parenting to a parent.

Many of us have a University degree and many years of paid work experience in the field of Child Protective Services, and what constitutes Abuse, Neglect or Exploitation.

A parent that allows a 14 year old to run the streets, without attempting to deal with that behavior, clearly is neglecting the welfare of that child.

Cheers:

i believe he was saying exactly the same as you

[singa-traz]

Last year my daughter aged 9 threw a strop over something minor and grandly declared that she was leaving home. So me and my wife helped her pack a suitcase. We both struggled not to laugh as she tried to maintain her composure as my wife asked her " do you want to take this blue dress", "how much underwear do you think you'll need?' etc. The icing on the cake was me offering to take her to the bus station before me and mum went to sizzler ( her favourite) for dinner. Collecting as much dignity as she could muster she then decided that maybe she would leave the next day.

Hope you had a debriefing session with her. You might have scarred her for the rest of her life.

[JLCrab]

Maybe next time someone's child, after his/her parents have carefully helped them pack their bag to temporarily run away from home, will encounter these friendly & helpful folks:

Young students kidnapped by human-trafficking gangs

Category: Khon Kaen news

Published on Tuesday, 24 September 2013 12:31

Khon Kaen Provincial Police have issued warnings about human-trafficking gangs widely operating in school areas.

There have been several incidences in Khon Kaen and Udon Thani of children going missing after school time attributed to kidnapping by human-trafficking gangs.

http://www.khonkaengazette.com/news/79-local-news/1785-young-students-kidnapped-by-human-trafficking-gangs

[mca]

Last year my daughter aged 9 threw a strop over something minor and grandly declared that she was leaving home. So me and my wife helped her pack a suitcase. We both struggled not to laugh as she tried to maintain her composure as my wife asked her " do you want to take this blue dress", "how much underwear do you think you'll need?' etc. The icing on the cake was me offering to take her to the bus station before me and mum went to sizzler ( her favourite) for dinner. Collecting as much dignity as she could muster she then decided that maybe she would leave the next day.

Hope you had a debriefing session with her. You might have scarred her for the rest of her life.

Yeah I think the follow up where we bundled her into the back of an unmarked van with a pillowcase over her head, took her to an abandoned factory, waterboarded her and made her sit for five days blindfolded playing white noise through some headphones was more effective than stopping her pocket money for a month. You know what they say, spare the rod and spoil the child.

[JLCrab]

I would guess to some of the parents whose children are still missing the above might not be so funny.

[mca]

Possibly not. My apologies.

[kevvy]

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well this a first you start a poll to prove you are right in another poll some people will go to any lenghts to prove they were right. Imagine what happens in the home.

Ok you won happy now

[beachproperty]

Sent from my GT-I9500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well this a first you start a poll to prove you are right in another poll some people will go to any lenghts to prove they were right. Imagine what happens in the home.

Ok you won happy now

Hey Kevvy.;;;;;don't get your knickers all in a wad.....can't catch fish if your squirming all about

[Neeranam]

Maybe next time someone's child, after his/her parents have carefully helped them pack their bag to temporarily run away from home, will encounter these friendly & helpful folks:

Young students kidnapped by human-trafficking gangs

Category: Khon Kaen news

Published on Tuesday, 24 September 2013 12:31

Khon Kaen Provincial Police have issued warnings about human-trafficking gangs widely operating in school areas.

There have been several incidences in Khon Kaen and Udon Thani of children going missing after school time attributed to kidnapping by human-trafficking gangs.

http://www.khonkaengazette.com/news/79-local-news/1785-young-students-kidnapped-by-human-trafficking-gangs

The infamous 'white van' story.

My daughters will never be locked out my house - they are ALWAYS welcome, no matter what they do.

[LemonSqueeza]

I like Thai

In my opinion your logic is very faulty at best, the child a product of a broken home the mother the single parent working two jobs to support her family. daughter already had many years of the lack of supervision, mother and Farang marry, first time in years she was required to face restrictions, a time limit was set when her partying would end and she was expected to be home. She refuses to comply and was lock out of the home for a short duration of time on two occasions.

Your faulty reasoning, Why are you concerned that she could:

"run the risk of her falling into harms way on the streets at night, is not only wrong,it is illegal".

Why would you only think that those dangers you posted to, would only happen after she came home at 2:00 AM, If you are fair in your assessment.

Why would you not worry about her "falling into harms way on the streets at night" between 10:00 PM curfew and 2 AM return home, you have the option of being selective in your opinion. A responsible parent does not and must worry about her falling into harms way every night when she is out on the streets at night.

If you have a reason for your statement ""it is illegal" please explain how it is "illegal"?

Cheers:

The OP requested that the child be home by ten. Why ? because it is late and not an appropriate time for a child to be out

She broke the rule and he punished her by inflicting a punishment that goes against the reasoning for having the child in by a reasonable hour.

It's illegal because the op is no relation of this child. He was neither a parent or legal guardian, that is why his action of barring her from her residence is illegal.

Even if he was a guardian, it would be illegal, look at page 8 in the below link

http://www.thailawforum.com/laws/Child%20Protection%20Act.pdf

This is one of the best posts I have ever read on TV. To the point. Well put. Supported by documentation. Hats off!

how easy it is to overlook the fact that the girl's mother had provided he tacit approval to the OP's actions.

i am very thankful i need not answer to the "community" here for the way i raise my child.

out of curiosity it would be nice if those of you with your strong opinions of wrong doing identify how many children you have/teenagers you have raised.

it seems the more shrill PC indignation on the board gets, the more exaggerated the OP's 'crime' becomes.

its quite sad that anyone would choose to make a big deal of this, OP included.

Edited October 30, 2013 by LemonSqueeza

[Forethat]

This is one of the best posts I have ever read on TV. To the point. Well put. Supported by documentation. Hats off!

Please point to what in the documentation you posted to that,

#1 the points involved were well put.

#2 How does the posted documentation, support the points of the poster? Which I find that the poster most likely did not read the act in itself.

I know it is easy to simply agree with the bleeding heart response to someone else's post then to respond where the law concurs with what you posted to,

I understand your statement (in a different post) that education has a lot to do with the responses on TV, but education has nothing to do with good parenting! dose it not? Education does not instil the concept of "common sense" in parenting to a parent.

Many of us have a University degree and many years of paid work experience in the field of Child Protective Services, and what constitutes Abuse, Neglect or Exploitation.

A parent that allows a 14 year old to run the streets, without attempting to deal with that behavior, clearly is neglecting the welfare of that child.

Cheers:

Reading this make me believe you didn't even read my post...

But you're right, a "parent that allows a 14 year old to run the streets, without attempting to deal with that behaviour, clearly is neglecting the welfare of that child". I could not agree with you more. Thanks for supporting my opinion.

[infinity11]

Don't have them?

(sorry couldn't resist)

[kikoman]

This is one of the best posts I have ever read on TV. To the point. Well put. Supported by documentation. Hats off!

Please point to what in the documentation you posted to that,

#1 the points involved were well put.

#2 How does the posted documentation, support the points of the poster? Which I find that the poster most likely did not read the act in itself.

I know it is easy to simply agree with the bleeding heart response to someone else's post then to respond where the law concurs with what you posted to,

I understand your statement (in a different post) that education has a lot to do with the responses on TV, but education has nothing to do with good parenting! dose it not? Education does not instil the concept of "common sense" in parenting to a parent.

Many of us have a University degree and many years of paid work experience in the field of Child Protective Services, and what constitutes Abuse, Neglect or Exploitation.

A parent that allows a 14 year old to run the streets, without attempting to deal with that behavior, clearly is neglecting the welfare of that child.

Cheers:

Reading this make me believe you didn't even read my post...

But you're right, a "parent that allows a 14 year old to run the streets, without attempting to deal with that behaviour, clearly is neglecting the welfare of that child". I could not agree with you more. Thanks for supporting my opinion.

That was not your opinion plain and simple~

your opinion was that she was only placed at risks after the doors were locked at 2 AM!

The OP concern as stated was that her actions placed herself at risks, being on the streets after her curfew of 10 pm, for the OP to allow a 14 year old female to run the streets, till 2 AM in the morning without attempting to stop her careless action ( placing herself at risk) while under his care. Again read very carefully, without attempting to deal with that dangerous behavior (IE: by locking her out).,clearly would have been neglecting the welfare of the child.

As you have never addressed the OP's contention that on the two ,locked out occasions she was under their direct physical observation during the entire lock-out.episode, once she climb in a window, the other time she knocked on the door until she was allowed back into the house.

Then she was never running the streets, after the lock out, The only time she was running the streets was between 10:00 PM and 2:00 AM.

If you were agreeing to that statement, you were clearly agreeing to my opinion!

Cheers:

Edited October 30, 2013 by kikoman