Thai women and passion

[kingstonkid]

Been here for 3 years, For the first while things were good in bed. NOT GREAT but ok. I am her first real lover(?) she is a upcountry girl grew up with her Grandmother.

She seems to think that being a good wife is cleaning the house, making sure i am fed and looking after all my needs(except one).

There is no passion int he relationship. i have finally after talking to people around her found out why a lot of guys have gf or go to karaoke bars.

My question is this have anyone run into this problem and if so is there a solution.

I left a marriage in Canada for this reason and really do not want to leave er. After all she does everything for me and has been great just not in bed.

for her to show any passion of course in public is a no no. i have asked her to talk to friends but she does not as that would mean face.

[FiftyTwo]

The problem

She doesn't like you all that much, or doesn't find you attractive.

The Solution

Get a wife that likes you more, or at least one that will tolerate you in bed.

Sorry about that, but if you want good sex, it won't be with this woman.

I guess you could go for a bit on the side, but the wife really isn't a keeper.

[meom]

Not all women ( and men) are porn stars in bed.

Everybody can make a baby but great sex is an acquired skill and it takes an open mind, plenty of exercise etc.

For sure she has feelings and if you both find out which buttons to push things might improve.

If not then follow 52 advice.

[Briggsy]

Are you over 10 years older than her? If so, I think a 3-year run of good sex is way over the average. So you should be thankful.

There is the possibility that the culture that is imposed here where sexual desire is viewed as sinful in women and normal in men is negatively impacting sex. If so, I don't think you will get around that one.

[transam]

All women are different. I am SURE of that.

Was sex great when you met?

Did it change when the $ were secure. ?

Not being nasty, just trying to see a picture.

[WitawatWatawit]

Could it be that there was never any real attraction there in the first place? To her, when she first met you, you were an - dare I say it? - oddity, maybe. Exotic. A novelty. Thai women do have a propensity to fall in love with a person who pays a lot of attention to her, but that first gasp of pleasure soon sours into reality. Many will hang around for a long while - sime for financial reasons, some for security reasons, even though the first thrill is gone.

[kingstonkid]

Her attitude to me has not really changed. I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.

as to her desire to be a great wife she is very much in the Thai system that says showing affection in public is wrong. showing her shoulders or cleavage is wrong or not comfortable.

i think a lot of it is culture not person.

[zeichen]

HAHA. NOt cultural unless she is over 50.

The other thing that I find ironic is that the problem with his sex life is his wife. Wake up, the problem is yours and not hers. Women in general are passionate if they feel it from the husband first. A woman that feels loved and not just a servant of her husband will more likely be more passionate.

"Love Dare"

1. Do something like a chore that your wife usually does before she does it.

2. Do something for your wife that she normally does for herself.

3. Do something for her family, that she usually does without you.

4. Buy her something that she enjoys but rarely buys for herself.

5. Get a PhD in your wife. Know everything you can about her and never stop being inquisitive about her growth and her needs.

6. Buy flowers for her.

7. Treat her to a spa or some kind of comforting place.

8. Take extra care of your own hygene, grooming, clothing etc. that you did while single.

9. Don't look at porn, other woman, talk about other woman,

10. Say only nice things to your wife for a day. Don't argue, criticize or blame.

11. Spend one night just pleasuring her and don't think about yourself at all. Don't stop until the job is done.

12. Communicate with her

13. Tell her how beautiful she is and how you want to see her with sexy nighty at home.

If you don't do these things often or everyday then you are to blame and not the wives that you have had.

PS

Thank you OP and other posters. I showed this to my wife and she is so nice to me right now. She realizes how good she has it and feels pitty for your partners.

[FiftyTwo]

Her attitude to me has not really changed. I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.

as to her desire to be a great wife she is very much in the Thai system that says showing affection in public is wrong. showing her shoulders or cleavage is wrong or not comfortable.

i think a lot of it is culture not person.

Thai system is no sign of affection in public.

If she doesn't show affection in private, it's cos she doesn't feel affection for you.

Her attitude has never changed, that's cos she never felt affection for you.

Her interest in you was financial.

You provide, she gives as little as she can get away with in return.

Not to do with you being a foreigner, many Thai marriages are like this too.

Edited November 1, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[mesquite]

Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Especially the sea of Thailand.

There is no need to be stuck with a woman who will not have sex with you. I would bet there are at least 100 who would be willing to take her place and give you all the passion you can handle.

Or, just tell her you'll leave if she doesn't provide for your sexual needs. She'll change. If she doesn't, leave.

Edited November 2, 2013 by mesquite

[Hedghog]

Op.

You need to learn how to light her fire.

It takes two to Tango.

[fatfather]

Her attitude to me has not really changed.   I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.  

 

as to her desire to be a great wife she is very much in the Thai system that says showing affection in public is wrong.  showing her shoulders or cleavage is wrong or not comfortable.  

 

i think a lot of it is culture not person.

Thai women use to say "I can make my heart love..." Good Sex cannot be achieved by body alone, it needs two hearts as well. Tchai daeng, as the Thai call it

Fatfather

Sent from my phone

[Thai at Heart]

It's a cultural thing.

Lust is something that Buddhist women aren't supposed to give into. Can be quite spectacular when it's uncovered.

[grantbkk]

Jesus! Walking on egg shells much? You are not happy it's time to change or re-up. Look around dude. Life is short for both you and the wife.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[Jasun]

Maybe she's into chicks.

[David48]

My instant thought when I read your Opening Post was that your gf/wife is taking care of you.

It's an important part of a being a dutiful Thai woman.

It's sort of like car maintenance ...

She's not using you ... though I doubt she is, as we say in the West, 'in love with you'.

A Thai woman can have a lovely life married to you ... just how it is.

Of course, this is all just speculation from this side of the keyboard.

BTW ... don't fall for the line of 'your my first boyfriend' ... just some friendly advice.

Good luck ... I hope it works out for you.

.

[Aussieroaming]

Mate

My view is this

1. Your wife has a culturally different upbringing to you. If touching and hugging make her in public or private may make her uncomfortable and doing those things won't make her feel intimate. Try more subtle gestures and she will love the fact that you are intimate without being obvious. You will be showing her respect for her culture and love at the same time.

2. Find out what she's lousy work at it with her. Don't do it alone but build her up where she's weak, as she does for you.

3. Re-assure her that she's more important than sex

4. Communicate that you love her and respect her and then back it up with actions that show that, in other words walk the walk.

And these aren't hard things to do if you genuinely love her.

5. Stop thinking that a girl in the bar will be a good fill in...either you want this relationship to work or you don't.

[ThaidDown]

I left a marriage in Canada for this reason

So, this has happened before, have you considered that it might be something to do with you.

As said previously you need two to tango. Forget about any public displays, and find out what she needs in private, even if it's getting her drunk,

watching a porno together, or something else, work at it. You might find that she gets to enjoy it and you come back posting that you need a rest.

.

[Bikkii]

Download some porn-gangbang, atm, bukkake or whatever floats ur boat and "accidently" play it when she comes home. Find some Asian girls in the vids and tell her thats what all good asian girls are like.

Doesn't work then ur either;

1. Too fat

2. Too old

3. Really bad in bed urself or

4. All of the above.

[MilesofSmiles]

Sounds like a dud relationship.

If there's no passion, and never has been, do you really, really actually love each other?

Are you into her, or just used to having each other around ?

Her attitude to me has not really changed. I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.

Of course it is part of it.

But if she's never been any good in bed, that's a bad sign.

[carloscarreon88]

All women are different. I am SURE of that.

[CharlieH]

There is a difference in having sex and making love.

You appear to be impatient and selfish, perhaps she is reflecting that back and you dont like it.

Now here's a really novel and outrageous idea, try talking to her!

Have you tried talking, listening, and maybe even teaching her ?

If you try that and get nowhere then you have bigger issues, communication being the main one.

[M12MKD]

I don't see how this is a lot different from what you could get from a native partner. Some women regardless of how much they love you, do not wish to be very open sexually. I've had uk girls that are not overly adventurous in the bed room.

Maybe as above listen to what she wants and needs, she is most likely worried that she will not be any good at what you are wanting.

My other half is very shy in the bedroom but rome was not built in a day!

[FiftyTwo]

Maybe as above listen to what she wants and needs, she is most likely worried that she will not be any good at what you are wanting.

We ain't in the west, we don't have to put up with this rubbish.

Dump her and get a new one!

'listen to her needs' <deleted>!

[Water Buffalo]

I think more details are needed. Does she refuse to sleep with you at all anymore? or has the excitement just gone due to being used to one another?

May be a cultural thing. I do think Thai women are way less passionate (in general) than western women.

As others have mentioned, it may be a money thing. Has your financial situation got worse recently?

I think those who tell you to dump her are being a bit hasty. She sounds like a good woman. That is hard to find.

I would rather have a good woman who is bad in bed, than a bad woman who is good in bed.

[FiftyTwo]

May be a cultural thing. I do think Thai women are way less passionate (in general) than western women.

I would rather have a good woman who is bad in bed, than a bad woman who is good in bed.

Statement 1

I lived with an English woman that was cold and aloof for 25 years, Thai women have an excess of passion, even when you are paying them.

Statement 2

I would rather be alone in bed, but if I had to choose, bad woman every time.

[Water Buffalo]

May be a cultural thing. I do think Thai women are way less passionate (in general) than western women.

I would rather have a good woman who is bad in bed, than a bad woman who is good in bed.

Statement 1

I lived with an English woman that was cold and aloof for 25 years, Thai women have an excess of passion, even when you are paying them.

Statement 2

I would rather be alone in bed, but if I had to choose, bad woman every time.

If we were talking about being happily single and having a bad girl come over, give you 'what for', then leave you to snooze on your own - i would agree. Or if we were talking about paying for sex, then yeah a bad girl would be preferable.

[Toscano]

" It Takes Two To Tango " !  It is easy to criticize men as not being good performers , not pressing the right buttons .

I am elderly now , but in younger years have enjoyed very good sex and intensely loving relations with my former American wife , English and Italian lovers , all of whom were sexually passionate . I am married to a beautiful educated Thai , now middle aged and retired former head teacher . We have been together 18 years and have a loving relationship on a practical day to day basis . In younger years our sex life was OK , but one sided , without any hot desire on the part of my wife . I am of the opinion that to many Thai women sex is just a function like going to the toilet , quick quick I must take shower to clean up afterwards .

[BritManToo]

Some idiot revived an 8 year old thread!

Edited May 15, 2022 by BritManToo