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Posted

Been here for 3 years, For the first while things were good in bed. NOT GREAT but ok. I am her first real lover(?) she is a upcountry girl grew up with her Grandmother.

She seems to think that being a good wife is cleaning the house, making sure i am fed and looking after all my needs(except one).

There is no passion int he relationship. i have finally after talking to people around her found out why a lot of guys have gf or go to karaoke bars.

My question is this have anyone run into this problem and if so is there a solution.

I left a marriage in Canada for this reason and really do not want to leave er. After all she does everything for me and has been great just not in bed.

for her to show any passion of course in public is a no no. i have asked her to talk to friends but she does not as that would mean face.

  • Like 1
Posted

Not all women ( and men) are porn stars in bed.

Everybody can make a baby but great sex is an acquired skill and it takes an open mind, plenty of exercise etc.

For sure she has feelings and if you both find out which buttons to push things might improve.

If not then follow 52 advice.

  • Like 2
Posted

Are you over 10 years older than her? If so, I think a 3-year run of good sex is way over the average. So you should be thankful.

There is the possibility that the culture that is imposed here where sexual desire is viewed as sinful in women and normal in men is negatively impacting sex. If so, I don't think you will get around that one.

Posted

All women are different. I am SURE of that.

Was sex great when you met?

Did it change when the $ were secure. ?

Not being nasty, just trying to see a picture. smile.png

Posted

Could it be that there was never any real attraction there in the first place? To her, when she first met you, you were an - dare I say it? - oddity, maybe. Exotic. A novelty. Thai women do have a propensity to fall in love with a person who pays a lot of attention to her, but that first gasp of pleasure soon sours into reality. Many will hang around for a long while - sime for financial reasons, some for security reasons, even though the first thrill is gone.

Posted

Her attitude to me has not really changed. I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.

as to her desire to be a great wife she is very much in the Thai system that says showing affection in public is wrong. showing her shoulders or cleavage is wrong or not comfortable.

i think a lot of it is culture not person.

Posted

Her attitude to me has not really changed. I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.

as to her desire to be a great wife she is very much in the Thai system that says showing affection in public is wrong. showing her shoulders or cleavage is wrong or not comfortable.

i think a lot of it is culture not person.

Thai system is no sign of affection in public.

If she doesn't show affection in private, it's cos she doesn't feel affection for you.

Her attitude has never changed, that's cos she never felt affection for you.

Her interest in you was financial.

You provide, she gives as little as she can get away with in return.

Not to do with you being a foreigner, many Thai marriages are like this too.

  • Like 2
Posted

Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Especially the sea of Thailand.

There is no need to be stuck with a woman who will not have sex with you. I would bet there are at least 100 who would be willing to take her place and give you all the passion you can handle.

Or, just tell her you'll leave if she doesn't provide for your sexual needs. She'll change. If she doesn't, leave.

  • Like 2
Posted

Her attitude to me has not really changed.   I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.  

 

as to her desire to be a great wife she is very much in the Thai system that says showing affection in public is wrong.  showing her shoulders or cleavage is wrong or not comfortable.  

 

i think a lot of it is culture not person.

Thai women use to say "I can make my heart love..." Good Sex cannot be achieved by body alone, it needs two hearts as well. Tchai daeng, as the Thai call it

Fatfather

Sent from my phone

Posted

Jesus! Walking on egg shells much? You are not happy it's time to change or re-up. Look around dude. Life is short for both you and the wife.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

Posted

My instant thought when I read your Opening Post was that your gf/wife is taking care of you.

It's an important part of a being a dutiful Thai woman.

It's sort of like car maintenance ...

She's not using you ... though I doubt she is, as we say in the West, 'in love with you'.

A Thai woman can have a lovely life married to you ... just how it is.

Of course, this is all just speculation from this side of the keyboard.

BTW ... don't fall for the line of 'your my first boyfriend' ... just some friendly advice.

Good luck ... I hope it works out for you.

.

  • Like 1
Posted
I left a marriage in Canada for this reason

So, this has happened before, have you considered that it might be something to do with you.

As said previously you need two to tango. Forget about any public displays, and find out what she needs in private, even if it's getting her drunk,

watching a porno together, or something else, work at it. You might find that she gets to enjoy it and you come back posting that you need a rest.

.

Posted

Download some porn-gangbang, atm, bukkake or whatever floats ur boat and "accidently" play it when she comes home. Find some Asian girls in the vids and tell her thats what all good asian girls are like.

Doesn't work then ur either;

1. Too fat

2. Too old

3. Really bad in bed urself or

4. All of the above.

Posted

Sounds like a dud relationship.

If there's no passion, and never has been, do you really, really actually love each other?

Are you into her, or just used to having each other around ?

Her attitude to me has not really changed. I hae been going through changes that have not always been positive and think that might be part of it.

Of course it is part of it.

But if she's never been any good in bed, that's a bad sign.

Posted

There is a difference in having sex and making love.

You appear to be impatient and selfish, perhaps she is reflecting that back and you dont like it.

Now here's a really novel and outrageous idea, try talking to her!

Have you tried talking, listening, and maybe even teaching her ?

If you try that and get nowhere then you have bigger issues, communication being the main one.

Posted

I don't see how this is a lot different from what you could get from a native partner. Some women regardless of how much they love you, do not wish to be very open sexually. I've had uk girls that are not overly adventurous in the bed room.

Maybe as above listen to what she wants and needs, she is most likely worried that she will not be any good at what you are wanting.

My other half is very shy in the bedroom but rome was not built in a day!

Posted

Maybe as above listen to what she wants and needs, she is most likely worried that she will not be any good at what you are wanting.

We ain't in the west, we don't have to put up with this rubbish.

Dump her and get a new one!

'listen to her needs' <deleted>!

  • Like 1
Posted

I think more details are needed. Does she refuse to sleep with you at all anymore? or has the excitement just gone due to being used to one another?

May be a cultural thing. I do think Thai women are way less passionate (in general) than western women.

As others have mentioned, it may be a money thing. Has your financial situation got worse recently?

I think those who tell you to dump her are being a bit hasty. She sounds like a good woman. That is hard to find.

I would rather have a good woman who is bad in bed, than a bad woman who is good in bed.

  • Like 1
Posted

May be a cultural thing. I do think Thai women are way less passionate (in general) than western women.

I would rather have a good woman who is bad in bed, than a bad woman who is good in bed.

Statement 1

I lived with an English woman that was cold and aloof for 25 years, Thai women have an excess of passion, even when you are paying them.

Statement 2

I would rather be alone in bed, but if I had to choose, bad woman every time.

Posted

May be a cultural thing. I do think Thai women are way less passionate (in general) than western women.

I would rather have a good woman who is bad in bed, than a bad woman who is good in bed.

Statement 1

I lived with an English woman that was cold and aloof for 25 years, Thai women have an excess of passion, even when you are paying them.

Statement 2

I would rather be alone in bed, but if I had to choose, bad woman every time.

If we were talking about being happily single and having a bad girl come over, give you 'what for', then leave you to snooze on your own - i would agree. Or if we were talking about paying for sex, then yeah a bad girl would be preferable.

  • Like 1
  • 8 years later...
Posted

" It Takes Two To Tango " !  It is easy to criticize men as not being good performers , not pressing the right buttons .

I am elderly now , but in younger years have enjoyed very good sex and intensely loving relations with my former American wife , English and Italian lovers , all of whom were sexually passionate . I am married to a beautiful educated Thai , now middle aged and retired former head teacher . We have been together 18 years and have a loving relationship on a practical day to day basis . In younger years our sex life was OK , but one sided , without any hot desire on the part of my wife . I am of the opinion that to many Thai women sex is just a function like going to the toilet , quick quick I must take shower to clean up afterwards .

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