Why go to so much trouble marrying/dating someone of a different culture, nationality, mentality etc

[umbanda]

I have to agree some what with the OP.

Have heard of lot's of problem case's more than the one's that go right.

I am English been married to an English girl lasted 3 years have had several lady friend's since then all English and all money grabber's or played around on the side.

Been coming to Thailand for many year's eventually met up with a Thai lady been an item for over 13 years now married.

Does she moan ask for monies well NO in fact quite the opposite save's me bundle's we laugh every day and I've never been so happy. Problems what problems.

It seems to me if you get on alright it doesn't matter what culture they are, you do have to get used to their quirky way's and they with yours, if you can do that you'll stand a good chance of it working out in the end.

There will always be one's that don't go right who's fault who know, the ladies that Farang's meet in bars are on for a slippery slide from the start you can never compare like with like.

Every relationship has it's ups and downs just go with the flow if it doesn't suit get out.

But I know where Id sooner be.

Bad luck! I was thinking in write here exactly the same...but I will have to pay you for the copyrights......I only can ad that my Thai wife is the most affectionate and caring woman I met in my life....and the most beautiful too!

[thehelmsman]

Pretty funny. So do I like a challenge.

I'm noo in Thailand, from the good ol' USA, and recently married a Thai woman much younger than myself. Why? Well, lots of reasons, but mainly because I love her and she loves me.

I know, I know; I'm getting conned, right? Maybe, maybe not. She has a degree, is financially stable, healthy and optimistic, and, like me, doesn't drink. What's more, she has a great sense of humor, meaning she laughs at most of my jokes (once I explain them to her; God, please never let her be as jaded and cynical as I am). Future both looks and feels good; sometimes I have to pinch myself.

Will it last? I'm old enough to know (and accept) that nothing lasts forever: bad, good, indifferent, whatever. I mean Dang! Lou Reed just died! But I plan on letting it last as long as my karma will allow. In the meantime, my mind is open to new possibilities and experiences, and so are my eyes and ears.

You love her, fair enough, but you can't assume she loves you.

She is much younger, educated, financially stable, healthy, great sense of humour ......... But stop a moment, what do you have?

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural thing.

Enjoy today, forget about the future.

At my baby's birthday as the older ladies from our soi prepared the food I poured shots of BLEND for all the ladies. They always get a kick out of that.

It's kinda hard to make a statement for most married ladies

cheers

[sangsom69]

I agree with the OP to a degree despite it being troll-bait.

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate. If you are not fluent in Thai, or your GF isn't fluent in English, then where's the profound connection: great sex and making you laugh you can find in any bar in Thailand. Cleaning the house and great food you can find with domestic help. But then a lot of fellas seem to express bitterness about women back home who had the audacity to have personalities and challenge them when they were being pr*cks, so welcome to paradise.

If you were lucky enough to have relationships with women who were attractive in every sense back home, then Thailand isn't paradise, but a place where you actually find it more difficult to find a GF due to communication issues. Fair play to the posters who've traversed that and have normal healthy relationships. From my experience, they are a minority .

[dunque]

Why go to the trouble of getting married to ANY women....Divorce rates in America are 4.95 per 1000 and in Thailand its .58 per 1000 (http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate )

You do the math!

Whoa! I do like the looks of that site and it seems well managed with a whole bunch of data, but unless I am misunderstanding the ratio meaning, these figures seem waaaaaaaaaay off. Is this 4.95 marriages out of 1,000 marriages end in divorce? HELL NO! Who runs this site. The Vatican? 495 per 1,000 is probably closer, but still a bit shy of the real total.

I do agree with you anyway. Why marry any woman? It's just a three-way contract and the third (most powerful) entity usually makes things much worse, should something bad happen within the institution.

P.S. - The Thai female in the above picture is pretty dam_n far from ugly! Light chocolate for the taste buds!

I think the statistics are per annum, and per 1000 people not per 1000 marriages.

[dotpoom]

Myself and the Thai Mrs. laugh together most of the day...that to me is the perfect relationship.....(for myself more important than anything because most other things have to be fairly good to be able to laugh with someone) but it took some time to get to this point. She eventually got to understand and TRUST ME, I was never a butterfly, so it hadn't occurred to me that she was not letting herself trust me when we first started going together, .....based on her observations of foreign men around Pattaya. When I got to understand that it wasn't only about me trusting her,..... but also about her learning if she could trust me....that's when things improved.

Butterfly = bar talk = you hang out with hookers.

Here's hoping you didn't learn the word from someone close.

Very good 52.....did you think that up all on your own....or did you need help?

[kannot]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

Bought and paid for?

[RikDao]

Good points, thanks for the respectful reply.

I can feel she loves me, and I can see it in her eyes and actions. Plus, I'm a Scorpio, so I know! (LOL, right? I don't know anything...)

What do I have? Well, I am much older, educated, financially stable, healthy (and getting healthier on a Thai diet), have a great sense of humour (make that "humor,") and am willing to admit that I'm not perfect. Who is? Also, I couldn't give a toss what Thai people here or Americans back in the States think. I'm not in junior high school. Speaking of which, I enjoy the term "farang," it has a pleasant ring to it... Seems almost like a term of endearment. I mean, shucks, we've all been called much worse things.

I met my wife online, BTW, and got to know her basic personality a long time before I came over here, visiting her three times, meeting her family, etc, before we decided to get married. Love Skype!

[FiftyTwo]

I enjoy the term "farang," it has a pleasant ring to it... Seems almost like a term of endearment. I mean, shucks, we've all been called much worse things.

I prefer to be called 'green pumpkin'.

(Some think I also have a sense of humour, that and a million Baht will get me a girl)

Edited November 10, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Bpuumike]

I have to agree some what with the OP.

Have heard of lot's of problem case's more than the one's that go right.

I am English been married to an English girl lasted 3 years have had several lady friend's since then all English and all money grabber's or played around on the side.

Been coming to Thailand for many year's eventually met up with a Thai lady been an item for over 13 years now married.

Does she moan ask for monies well NO in fact quite the opposite save's me bundle's we laugh every day and I've never been so happy. Problems what problems.

It seems to me if you get on alright it doesn't matter what culture they are, you do have to get used to their quirky way's and they with yours, if you can do that you'll stand a good chance of it working out in the end.

There will always be one's that don't go right who's fault who know, the ladies that Farang's meet in bars are on for a slippery slide from the start you can never compare like with like.

Every relationship has it's ups and downs just go with the flow if it doesn't suit get out.

But I know where Id sooner be.

And it's great fun both of us exploring the other's language.

Nobody else knows what we are talking about.

[FiftyTwo]

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate.

All this tosh about love, soul mates, life partners, meaningful relationships.

Silly western nonsense! Meaningless rubbish to the other 85% of the world population.

My wife entered into a legal contract to produce babies and sleep with me.

Not really much need for communication there.

It's all about reproduction, nothing else is important.

Edited November 10, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Nemesis7]

Since when people dates another only because of the the fact they speak the same language?

[thailiketoo]

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate.

All this tosh about love, soul mates, life partners, meaningful relationships.

Silly western nonsense! Meaningless rubbish to the other 85% of the world population.

My wife entered into a legal contract to produce babies and sleep with me.

Not really much need for communication there.

It's all about reproduction, nothing else is important.

You wrote in another thread, "Just another type of contract, not legally binding between a husband and wife in Thailand. What is the matter with you people, why can't you listen!"

So did the law change?

[Gsxrnz]

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate.

All this tosh about love, soul mates, life partners, meaningful relationships.

Silly western nonsense! Meaningless rubbish to the other 85% of the world population.

My wife entered into a legal contract to produce babies and sleep with me.

Not really much need for communication there.

It's all about reproduction, nothing else is important.

Hmmmm..........Freud would have a field day with that perspective on life.

[transam]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

Blimey, think I am in love AGAIN............

[Rumblecat]

Most western woman do not even know what it is like to be a real woman.

Nah, that's just nonsense.

Sometimes I wonder just what the hell some of you were doing in your home countries. I mean like... what you were wearing, how you smelt, what your personality was like... No offence meant, it's just when I read people saying things like what you said- "being with most western women is a bit like being with a man" - and then I look at the kind of girls I dated back home, there's a massive gulf between these two things. I dated smart, sexy confident and attractive women. And you apparently could only date people who were masculine.

So yeah... I'm not discounting your experience or your views on the world, it's just when you make sweeping statements like that, it's sounds to me like it's more about your failings rather than the failings of the opposite sex, if you see what I mean. Jesus, that sounds harsh, sorry. It's not meant to be nearly as offensive as it probably sounds.

[HardenedSoul]

I agree with the OP to a degree despite it being troll-bait.

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate. If you are not fluent in Thai, or your GF isn't fluent in English, then where's the profound connection: great sex and making you laugh you can find in any bar in Thailand. Cleaning the house and great food you can find with domestic help. But then a lot of fellas seem to express bitterness about women back home who had the audacity to have personalities and challenge them when they were being pr*cks, so welcome to paradise.

If you were lucky enough to have relationships with women who were attractive in every sense back home, then Thailand isn't paradise, but a place where you actually find it more difficult to find a GF due to communication issues. Fair play to the posters who've traversed that and have normal healthy relationships. From my experience, they are a minority .

Absolutely spot on.

[FiftyTwo]

I love being with a woman who embraces her own femininity, and is not scared to death of it. Being with most western women is a bit like being with a man. If I wanted someone who was more masculine than myself, that is what I would seek out, but that is not what gets me going.

What about ladyboys then?

Where do they rank on your scale?

More or less masculine than western women?

More or less manly than yourself?

[JLCrab]

I am I guess in the minority. The girl doesn't speak a lick of English; I started learning Chinese 40+ years ago. Thai was my 5th Asian language.

BTW it's coming up on the 100th anniversary of Marcel Proust's 'Swann's Way' so we have lots to talk about.

Edited November 10, 2013 by JLCrab

[Halion]

OP: Normality is very boring, no one wants to read or write about that.

You never read in the press about how such and such Politician is a loyal loving husband do you? You only ever see the Tabloid gossip, the juicy stuff...

It's the same here on ThaiVisa.com... We only read about the train wrecks, but to draw the assumption that this is representative of majority of relationships between Westerners and Thai's is somewhat naive...

Sadly it is true that the majority of relationships between Falangs and Thais end in disaster of one sort or another, with average relationships lasting less than 4 years. This is predominately true with bar girl relationships but they is also a high statistical average for failure within relationships outside the entertainment industry as the Thai's like to refer to their rampant prostitution.

[Sealbash]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

Come on then how did you get that picture of my wife????

Does she have a daughter?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[thailiketoo]

OP: Normality is very boring, no one wants to read or write about that.

You never read in the press about how such and such Politician is a loyal loving husband do you? You only ever see the Tabloid gossip, the juicy stuff...

It's the same here on ThaiVisa.com... We only read about the train wrecks, but to draw the assumption that this is representative of majority of relationships between Westerners and Thai's is somewhat naive...

Sadly it is true that the majority of relationships between Falangs and Thais end in disaster of one sort or another, with average relationships lasting less than 4 years. This is predominately true with bar girl relationships but they is also a high statistical average for failure within relationships outside the entertainment industry as the Thai's like to refer to their rampant prostitution.

How do you know this? Link would be nice.

[Sealbash]

quote name="RikDao" post="7021407" timestamp="1384063326"].

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural .

Where did this tidbit of folklore originate?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[transam]

quote name="RikDao" post="7021407" timestamp="1384063326"].

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural .

Where did this tidbit of folklore originate?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Seems not from your company. .............

[Sealbash]

quote name="RikDao" post="7021407" timestamp="1384063326"].

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural .

Where did this tidbit of folklore originate?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

Seems not from your company. .............

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Sealbash]

quote name="RikDao" post="7021407" timestamp="1384063326"].

Most married Thai ladies don't drink, ever, it's a cultural .

Where did this tidbit of folklore originate?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

Seems not from your company. .............

I bow to your superior experience with the typical habits of Thai culture. I stand corrected.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[lucifer666]

My Thai wife is also my best friend. I could never say that about any Western women that i ever dated.

[thaibeachlovers]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

Waking up next to someone that doesn't look like my granny- priceless.

[thaibeachlovers]

I love being with a woman who embraces her own femininity, and is not scared to death of it. Being with most western women is a bit like being with a man. If I wanted someone who was more masculine than myself, that is what I would seek out, but that is not what gets me going.

What about ladyboys then?

Where do they rank on your scale?

More or less masculine than western women?

More or less manly than yourself?

They certainly dress more attractively than most of the western women I saw in London. For some reason, many London women like to dress like men.

Given that they work hard to be "female", IMO they would have to be <less masculine than western women>.

[thaibeachlovers]

I agree with the OP to a degree despite it being troll-bait.

I don't think you can have a profound, meaningful relationship with someone you don't really know, and to know someone you need to be able to communicate. If you are not fluent in Thai, or your GF isn't fluent in English, then where's the profound connection: great sex and making you laugh you can find in any bar in Thailand. Cleaning the house and great food you can find with domestic help. But then a lot of fellas seem to express bitterness about women back home who had the audacity to have personalities and challenge them when they were being pr*cks, so welcome to paradise.

If you were lucky enough to have relationships with women who were attractive in every sense back home, then Thailand isn't paradise, but a place where you actually find it more difficult to find a GF due to communication issues. Fair play to the posters who've traversed that and have normal healthy relationships. From my experience, they are a minority .

You don't seem to realise how many western men hate western women. Google it if you are interested. Many web sites on the subject.

[bobmac10]

Some farangs who decide to marry with women from Thailand have certain defects, such as being unattractive or unfashionable and socially inept, misfits, loners, or have done the rounds in their home countries - become stayed in their ways – maybe have grown old and no longer desirable to younger Western women.

So they have read all the reports and media hype that Thai women are loyal, subservient and given a chance to settle down with a home and a little pocket money each week will be content to settle down with any farang, becoming a sweet little housewife and be grateful for it.

Then later the reality hits the fan that Thai women are no longer the easily available, cute, sweet, young, subservient little princesses as they were made to believe and that in fact the modern day Thai women are not much different from their Western counterparts, have similar outlooks and ambitions. This is a main reason why so many farangs go for the more desperate Thai women of the poorer lower classes, because most middle to upper class Thai women would prefer to marry a Thai rather than a farang. Culturally it is considered going down the social ladder to marry a farang, especially if there is a big age gap between them. Then these farangs become disgruntled having not been able to buy the girl of their dreams and their love and will blame all Thais and the country as a whole for their failures and errors of choice or for diving in head first on a pipe dream for what was actually a fanciful hope or scheme, especially if they get conned or scammed for their blind stupidity.

very astute summation of what often happens here.

You hit the nail on the head.

So many losers believe the fantasy of subservient asian women, then they arrive and first contact is with prostitutes, young pretty and .... subservient, for a price.

wow so the fantasy is real?

Then they marry one, no real attempt at compatibility, all they want is sex and then for them to go away.

Well it always ends in tears.

On the other hand, if you make a real effort to meet a women of similar age and interests, you've got a good chance at a successful marriage.