Why go to so much trouble marrying/dating someone of a different culture, nationality, mentality etc

[FiftyTwo]

Hilarious. I'm taking this as a wind-up joke. No-one can be that tragic, and mistake being a sexpat in a developing country buying a wife for a real relationship. can they? Ye gods.

About 85% of the worlds population still regard arranged marriage as the norm.

Worldwide divorce rate in marriage for love approaching 50%, divorce rate in arranged marriage around 8%.

Makes you wonder which culture is getting it wrong?

Lot of racists thinking the white way is the correct and only way.

(Note: topic title = marriage not relationship)

Edited November 11, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[sangsom69]

When i first got here a little under 6 years ago, I was stunned by some of the drivel some of these guys would trot out about Western women. I heard all the old chestnuts like "once they hit 30, they get fat", "they don't know how to look after a man", "the bitch just wanted the house" and "she put her career and her friends before me" and they said these things with an air of "tough luck you silly cows; you had your chance but I've got a young Thai bargirl now" I was sure I could hear the collective sigh of 400 million Western women kicking themselves for having let these premium specimens get away.

I remember asking myself where on earth they were meeting these dragons cos I'd never encountered them but then, after a while, I began to see a common streak running between pretty much every whinging wheezer on the subject of Western women. They were all - to a man - wannabe alpha males.

You see, back in the West, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you is concerned because so many women take perfectly good care of themselves financially. Indeed, even in instances where it is enough to get a look in, there's way too much competition from younger, better-looking guys with more money than your average Thai expat barfly.

So they roll up here where any insecure, socially-awkward, alpha male wannabe can pull an attractive woman several notches above the heifers he's been used to settling for back in Farangland.

All he has to do is produce a wallet because here, in Thailand, it's acknowledged that cash levels the playing field with Thais in general and with certain Thai women in particular. In Thailand, those soft skills; those ephemeral, wishy-washy qualities like empathy and understanding that women the world over set so much store by - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Of course, the inability to communicate in anything but Thai-lish means that he can only meet her financial needs.

Next thing you hear, he's slating all Thai women

You do post some drivel!

One man's drivel, is another man's lucid, penetrating post that laid bare the sexpat mindset. Tip of the hat, Hardened Soul.

[HardenedSoul]

Hilarious. I'm taking this as a wind-up joke. No-one can be that tragic, and mistake being a sexpat in a developing country buying a wife for a real relationship. can they? Ye gods.

About 85% of the worlds population still regard arranged marriage as the norm.

Worldwide divorce rate in marriage for love approaching 50%, divorce rate in arranged marriage around 8%.

Makes you wonder which culture is getting it wrong?

Lot of racists thinking the white way is the correct and only way.

(Note: topic title = marriage not relationship)

85%??!! Did you pull that statistic out of your arse?

Shame you waited 25 years to see the light about arranged marriages, isn't it?

Racists? White way??

Now who's spouting drivel?

[Thermopylae]

Hilarious. I'm taking this as a wind-up joke. No-one can be that tragic, and mistake being a sexpat in a developing country buying a wife for a real relationship. can they? Ye gods.

About 85% of the worlds population still regard arranged marriage as the norm.

Worldwide divorce rate in marriage for love approaching 50%, divorce rate in arranged marriage around 8%.

Makes you wonder which culture is getting it wrong?

Lot of racists thinking the white way is the correct and only way.

(Note: topic title = marriage not relationship)

85%??!! Did you pull that statistic out of your arse?

Shame you waited 25 years to see the light about arranged marriages, isn't it?

Racists? White way??

Now who's spouting drivel?

Percent of marriages in the world that are arranged: 55%

Global divorce rate for arranged marriages: 6%

http://www.statisticbrain.com/arranged-marriage-statistics/

See also: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/fashion/weddings/parental-involvement-can-help-in-choosing-marriage-partners-experts-say.html?_r=0

[sangsom69]

Hilarious. I'm taking this as a wind-up joke. No-one can be that tragic, and mistake being a sexpat in a developing country buying a wife for a real relationship. can they? Ye gods.

About 85% of the worlds population still regard arranged marriage as the norm.

Worldwide divorce rate in marriage for love approaching 50%, divorce rate in arranged marriage around 8%.

Makes you wonder which culture is getting it wrong?

Lot of racists thinking the white way is the correct and only way.

(Note: topic title = marriage not relationship)

Lost me a bit there, fiftytwo. What relevance does arranged marriages which usually involve third parties choosing partners for the woman AND the man have to do with the discussion. That's leaving aside the other unshot fish in the barrel, sorry, I mean statistics on its incidence, and the bizarre racism comment.

[FiftyTwo]

Hilarious. I'm taking this as a wind-up joke. No-one can be that tragic, and mistake being a sexpat in a developing country buying a wife for a real relationship. can they? Ye gods.

About 85% of the worlds population still regard arranged marriage as the norm.

Worldwide divorce rate in marriage for love approaching 50%, divorce rate in arranged marriage around 8%.

Makes you wonder which culture is getting it wrong?

Lot of racists thinking the white way is the correct and only way.

(Note: topic title = marriage not relationship)

85%??!! Did you pull that statistic out of your arse?

Shame you waited 25 years to see the light about arranged marriages, isn't it?

Racists? White way??

Now who's spouting drivel?

I think you will find about 15% of the world population is based around white Christianity (Europe, USA, Aus)

The other 85% of the world is not white and not Christian. (Africa, India, Asia)

The white Christian minority seek to force their value system on everyone else, to such an extent that most of them don't know they are in the minority.

Someone else counted here very strange site, but the numbers check out (unless you know different)

http://www.stormfront.org/forum/t798477/#post9187353

Edited November 11, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Jayroo]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

That girl looks more hispanic, lol

[thailiketoo]

Who cares about language and culture??

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

That girl looks more hispanic, lol

The girl is Traci Bingham African American/ American Indian I think.

[eldragon]

I don't really have the types of complaints, concerns, etc. the OP speaks of. The problem I see is the one Beetlejuice mentions: "...most middle to upper class Thai women would prefer to marry a Thai rather than a farang. Culturally it is considered going down the social ladder to marry a farang..." And that might go beyond the middle class up, which is a small percentage of Thailand or any other country these days... I'd say most decent, dignified Thai girls are afraid of foreigners and/or embarassed to be seen with one. The ones that aren't seem to be quirky, immature, or weird. Or shady. Overconfident and snarky is another group I've noticed... But in general, I'd say most of the Thai girls that are willing to go out with foreigners are undesirable to Thais for one reason or another. And I feel like the Thai equivalent of the kind of girl I'd date back home isn't interested in me.

Do not agree. Look at some Thai history and marriage. I cannot mention my thought here but take a look.

What part do you disagree with? I'm not sure what history you're referring to, but it's my understanding times have changed in the last 30 years.

Anyway, I'm not saying it's a hard and fast rule. And I might've worded things a little harshly. Actually, I definitely did... But the fact remains many Thai girls are just not interested in foreigners, regardless of their income level or family's status. That seems to fade a bit as girls get on in their 30s. And there are some exceptions. But you're still talking about a small percentage of Thai women that would get serious with a foreigner.

[Theoutsider]

Very good-looking to Beautiful?? Most of the women I've seen married to the typical Western retiree are trouts. In a country teeming with so many beautiful females, where have these guys been fishing? At the bottom of the barrel??

A status symbol??!! A lot of the time, a bald, corpulent, sandal-wearing hippo?? Serious delusions there, pal.

Willing sexual partners? Not really but if it's part of the arrangement, they keep their end of it

That "no woman's equality shit" works two ways - just stop the stipend; come back and let us know how you got on

As for payment, who cares, not me, I have money, they don't, it's not a big deal to me, like it seems to be for you.

Given the extent of your whinging over your divorce, I find that really difficult to believe.

It's not a problem for me; I'm just not one of those guys who has no choice but to pay

Big yourself up.:-)

[khunpa]

Because the challenges with a Thai-woman are NOTHING compared to living with a selfish, fat, ugly and lazy "want to be a man" western woman.

Asian women are wonderful, sexy, smiling, caring and most important act like women in a relationship. Most men like that... its that simple!

[Theoutsider]

You don't seem to realise how many western men hate western women. Google it if you are interested. Many web sites on the subject.

Sadly, I do, as I've listened in bars to many of them bang on with their bitter, generalising BS. But hate's a strong word. Why would anyone of sound mind hate western women for not being what they want them to be. Preference is a better word. And, it all depends on the reason they prefer them over western women. Because an attractive one or young one at home wouldn't look twice at them? Because they only ever managed to have bloody awful relationships with women at home? Because they were cheated on, or found them insufficiently subservient ? Not always but mainly that's as much to do with the men.

But if you mean men who have a preference for asian looking women over western women, find them more feminine etc or favour traditional relationships with old school power differentials, where they are waited on hand and foot while being the bread winner, then fair enough. Naturally,they will prefer Asian women. But read through these threads, which category would you say most of them fall into?

When i first got here a little under 6 years ago, I was stunned by some of the drivel some of these guys would trot out about Western women. I heard all the old chestnuts like "once they hit 30, they get fat", "they don't know how to look after a man", "the bitch just wanted the house" and "she put her career and her friends before me" and they said these things with an air of "tough luck you silly cows; you had your chance but I've got a young Thai bargirl now" I was sure I could hear the collective sigh of 400 million Western women kicking themselves for having let these premium specimens get away.

I remember asking myself where on earth they were meeting these dragons cos I'd never encountered them but then, after a while, I began to see a common streak running between pretty much every whinging wheezer on the subject of Western women. They were all - to a man - wannabe alpha males.

You see, back in the West, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you is concerned because so many women take perfectly good care of themselves financially. Indeed, even in instances where it is enough to get a look in, there's way too much competition from younger, better-looking guys with more money than your average Thai expat barfly.

So they roll up here where any insecure, socially-awkward, alpha male wannabe can pull an attractive woman several notches above the heifers he's been used to settling for back in Farangland.

All he has to do is produce a wallet because here, in Thailand, it's acknowledged that cash levels the playing field with Thais in general and with certain Thai women in particular. In Thailand, those soft skills; those ephemeral, wishy-washy qualities like empathy and understanding that women the world over set so much store by - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Of course, the inability to communicate in anything but Thai-lish means that he can only meet her financial needs.

Next thing you hear, he's slating all Thai women

can i just ask,,,

why are you here, if you think you are such an alfa male,,???

my ex wife was 14 years younger then me in the uk and i allways did ok, more from personality and having the craic with women,,

i really dont think im alfa male,

im with my thai wife because i love her, look at all my posts and ive never pulled any women down western or thai,

im here because i love thailand,

yes i still work all over the world, so maybe its a little different for me,

all men are different just the same as women, some men shy, so are some women

some men are just shy with everyone.not just women,

some men are outgoing and gobby,( that could be me,,lol )

women are women, so look for love and some look for material things in life,

some are happy to be at home taking care of there partner, and some like to be out clubing,

this is all over the world, its all about finding what suits you,

if your lady happens to be a farmers daughter (like mine) and likes to stay at home, then so be it,

if your lady likes to be out clubing, so be it,

we are all different,

jake

Have you seen Ladbroke grove. Its a dump and most of the women are butters:-)

[HardenedSoul]

Have you seen Ladbroke grove. Its a dump and most of the women are butters:-)

A dump??

Having read some of your posts, I doubt you could afford to buy a coffee there let alone property

What a

I think you will find about 15% of the world population is based around white Christianity (Europe, USA, Aus)

The other 85% of the world is not white and not Christian. (Africa, India, Asia)

The white Christian minority seek to force their value system on everyone else, to such an extent that most of them don't know they are in the minority.

Someone else counted here very strange site, but the numbers check out (unless you know different)

http://www.stormfront.org/forum/t798477/#post9187353

Yeah but that's not what you said is it? You said that 85% of the world regards arranged marriages as the norm and I say you pulled that out of your arse.

Your latest moronic contention is that Africans, Indians and Asians don't marry for love. Only those born and raised in the US, Europe and the Antipodes marry for love, right??

Just go and lie down

[ultimate weapon]

Who cares about language and culture?? width=32 alt=coffee1.gif>

Beautiful-thai-Women.jpg

That girl looks more hispanic, lol

The girl is Traci Bingham African American/ American Indian I think.

Yeah thai girls have a more oriental type of look even the darker skinned ones when they take pictures and lighten their color they turn out looking rather chinese.

[thehelmsman]

Hmm ... Why on earth would anybody want to date/marry a Thai lady? Deep question. After 2 seconds of thought the following popped to mind:

* usually 10-30 years younger

* very good looking to beautiful

* they do the housework, shopping, cooking, laundry as they loose face if man works. They even call it woman's work.

* take direction very nicely

* willing sexual participants (this should be the first point)

* warm, cuddelly, affectionate ... if you do not sleep around

* they see us as a status symbol

* They want the man to be the leader with none of this woman's equality shit like in the West, where they want to make the man into a lady-man

* they do nag but in a very qute way

* etc

Why would anyone not date/marry a Thai lady. And if it does not work out, go into the lady forest and pick another one.

Going into the lady forest is still putting a smile on my face. A good sense of humor is hard to come by around here.

[FiftyTwo]

Yeah but that's not what you said is it? You said that 85% of the world regards arranged marriages as the norm and I say you pulled that out of your arse.

Your latest moronic contention is that Africans, Indians and Asians don't marry for love. Only those born and raised in the US, Europe and the Antipodes marry for love, right??

Just go and lie down

Just because you think something is normal, doesn't mean you have to do it.

[richard_smith237]

Hilarious. I'm taking this as a wind-up joke. No-one can be that tragic, and mistake being a sexpat in a developing country buying a wife for a real relationship. can they? Ye gods.

About 85% of the worlds population still regard arranged marriage as the norm.

Worldwide divorce rate in marriage for love approaching 50%, divorce rate in arranged marriage around 8%.

Makes you wonder which culture is getting it wrong?

Lot of racists thinking the white way is the correct and only way.

(Note: topic title = marriage not relationship)

85%??!! Did you pull that statistic out of your arse?

Shame you waited 25 years to see the light about arranged marriages, isn't it?

Racists? White way??

Now who's spouting drivel?

Percent of marriages in the world that are arranged: 55%

Global divorce rate for arranged marriages: 6%

http://www.statisticbrain.com/arranged-marriage-statistics/

See also: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/fashion/weddings/parental-involvement-can-help-in-choosing-marriage-partners-experts-say.html?_r=0

Any statistic comparing separation / divorce rates between arranged marriages and conventional marriages is highly skewed and unbalanced based on the cultural restrictions of cultures that practice arranged marriages.

For many in a culture practicing arranged marriage separation / divorce is simply not an option and many would go through life unhappy instead of making a cultural faux-pas and risking financial and social peril.

Conversely in the West divorce at the first sign of trouble is the norm. Much of this may stem from the fact that the in cultures commonly practicing 'love-marraige' (i.e. conventional Western Marriage) the partners concerned are usually financially independent and have far greater freedom to make their individual choices.

Which is the better option ?... With such male domination, if I were female I'd definitely choose a culture which permits equality. And, as I'm a male I'd much rather live in a culture which practices equality in a relationship whereby I don't have to impose or force my will and dominance through financial control.

Thus: No arranged marriage for me, however, I suspect both my Parents and my Wife's parents are very happy with our choices.

[FiftyTwo]

For many in a culture practicing arranged marriage separation / divorce is simply not an option and many would go through life unhappy instead of making a cultural faux-pas and risking financial and social peril.

Conversely in the West divorce at the first sign of trouble is the norm. Much of this may stem from the fact that the in cultures commonly practicing 'love-marraige' (i.e. conventional Western Marriage) the partners concerned are usually financially independent and have far greater freedom to make their individual choices.

But at least the kids have two parents.

Not much financial independence, the man usually ends up paying by force for the woman's choices.

[sms747]

Asian women are wonderful, sexy, smiling, caring and most important act like women in a relationship. Most men like that... its that simple!

In your dreams maybe, marry one and it's often a very different story. Oh yes they are all sexy, smiling and caring- at first

[pigeonjake]

why do these threads always turn into a cat fight,

i personaly dont give a <deleted> what any of you think,

this is my life, if i make mistakes well that will be down to me,

i do enjoy these threads,and i enjoy joining in, but no matter what anyone sayd it wont change my life here,

it was me who picked thailand to live,

it was me who picked my wife,

it make me laugh, when you read some on here saying,, its me way or the highway,,what a way to be living your life,, if this lady dosnt do everything they say they get rid of them,,like putting out the rubbish,

they are the ones that, maybe, couldnt do that in there own country, and are now finding this all great new power,,?

me well ive been on here long enough for people to no, im just happy bumbling along, beautiful wife and beautiful daughter,

in the end living in thailand is what you want it to be, what you make of it,

some want to sit in a bar all day,read the paper and watch the world go buy,

some want to sit in a bar all night and chase the young girls,

some want to go clubing and look for free girls,

some want to walk round the shopping centers looking for girls,

the list could go on,

thats why thailand is so beautiful,

you dont have to fall into one catorgory,

now just be happy with what you want to do,

if others dont like it tough,

were not all going to like the same thing,

jake

[JLCrab]

Hello Jake -- I sometimes divide the world into 2 sets of people: One that either doesn't notice that you have put on weight or, if they do, doesn't say anything, and the other set who will say "Hey there JL -- You've put on weight" knowing full well that in saying so that it can only serve to make the recipient feel worse about the situation.

[tim armstrong]

When you get a bit older, having someone to laugh with and talk to, everyday, is maybe even better than sex.

[LaraC]

Because the challenges with a Thai-woman are NOTHING compared to living with a selfish, fat, ugly and lazy "want to be a man" western woman.

Asian women are wonderful, sexy, smiling, caring and most important act like women in a relationship. Most men like that... its that simple!

Um do you realise that says a lot about you due to the kind of western women you were only able to be with...

[Jasun]

Diversity. If you really wanted to marry someone identical to you, you'd marry your sister. And we know how that turns out.

[spidermike007]

Just simply my observation, and the observation of dozens of my friends who have dated in the west for decades. We can't all be wrong, can we? I realize a statement like "Most western women do not even know what it is like to be a real woman" is a very sweeping statement. But, I stand by it. I have met very, very few in this lifetime who are truly comfortable being a woman, and embracing the qualities that make women so outstanding. Instead, they insist on wearing the pants, and behaving like a control freak. Now, I realize quite a few of you that are reading this post will have already surrendered to a western woman, and will be under her complete control. I can see how you could find this offensive. But, for those of you who still wear the pants, and are still in full possession of your cajones, the truth is the truth. When I am back in the States, I am always amazed at how few of my friends who are either married, or in serious relationships have control of their lives. They have surrendered nearly complete control to these women, and are nearly incapable of making decisions on their own. Let me see what the wife thinks. Let me run that by my wife. I could never make a decision like that without my wife. For God's sake, we are talking about getting together this evening for a drink, we are not talking about mortgaging the family home!

So, if it makes you feel better to believe that this opinion is based on my own failings, rather than the exposure to hundreds and hundreds of western women, than go ahead believing that. But, I must say, I am not the only one who have experienced this. I have spoken to countless men from all over the world who feel this way.

the fact that you and these "countless" other men feel you have the authority to define what a modern woman is defined as speaks volumes. about you.

it is certainly not with any degree of "authority" that I make these statements. It is simply an opinion, for what that is worth. You are certainly welcome to dismiss it outright, which you apparently have done. But, there is at least a possibility that some truth exists here, no? Or do you deny that possibility completely? I just simply think that life in the west has stripped women of so much of what is appealing to a real man. Not an emasculated man, but a real man. LOL.

[LaraC]

it is certainly not with any degree of "authority" that I make these statements. It is simply an opinion, for what that is worth. You are certainly welcome to dismiss it outright, which you apparently have done. But, there is at least a possibility that some truth exists here, no? Or do you deny that possibility completely? I just simply think that life in the west has stripped women of so much of what is appealing to a real man. Not an emasculated man, but a real man. LOL.

In order to illustrate a point, i think a photo easier explains the differences. Most women in this world are middle ground. No, we wont bust your balls, nor will we lay down to be a personal doormat. I will never apologise for being a person in my own right..that doesnt make me unfeminine in any way shape or form.

[FiftyTwo]

I think a lot of the posters on this forum have trouble expressing themselves.

They don't hate western women, they don't find western women masculine or unattractive.

What we do find, is how easy it is for our western female partners to gain entitlement to our homes, savings and pensions.

What we do find, is how hard it is for us older men to obtain a much younger and more attractive western female lover.

The simple truth is that in Thailand many of us don't encounter these problems.

Now HS is always the first one to tell us what we did wrong, but like many English coloured gentlemen I know, he wasn't ever really interested in having a wife and family, so didn't encounter the same problem (sudden unexpected asset loss on divorce) that we English white gentlemen have encountered.

Edited November 12, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[AYJAYDEE]

I think a lot of the posters on this forum have trouble expressing themselves.

They don't hate western women, they don't find western women masculine or unattractive.

What we do find, is how easy it is for our western female partners to gain entitlement to our homes, savings and pensions.

What we do find, is how hard it is for us older men to obtain a much younger and more attractive western female lover.

The simple truth is that in Thailand many of us don't encounter these problems.

what problems?

[FiftyTwo]

what problems?

Sudden unexpected asset loss on divorce.

[AYJAYDEE]

Just simply my observation, and the observation of dozens of my friends who have dated in the west for decades. We can't all be wrong, can we? I realize a statement like "Most western women do not even know what it is like to be a real woman" is a very sweeping statement. But, I stand by it. I have met very, very few in this lifetime who are truly comfortable being a woman, and embracing the qualities that make women so outstanding. Instead, they insist on wearing the pants, and behaving like a control freak. Now, I realize quite a few of you that are reading this post will have already surrendered to a western woman, and will be under her complete control. I can see how you could find this offensive. But, for those of you who still wear the pants, and are still in full possession of your cajones, the truth is the truth. When I am back in the States, I am always amazed at how few of my friends who are either married, or in serious relationships have control of their lives. They have surrendered nearly complete control to these women, and are nearly incapable of making decisions on their own. Let me see what the wife thinks. Let me run that by my wife. I could never make a decision like that without my wife. For God's sake, we are talking about getting together this evening for a drink, we are not talking about mortgaging the family home!

So, if it makes you feel better to believe that this opinion is based on my own failings, rather than the exposure to hundreds and hundreds of western women, than go ahead believing that. But, I must say, I am not the only one who have experienced this. I have spoken to countless men from all over the world who feel this way.

the fact that you and these "countless" other men feel you have the authority to define what a modern woman is defined as speaks volumes. about you.

it is certainly not with any degree of "authority" that I make these statements. It is simply an opinion, for what that is worth. You are certainly welcome to dismiss it outright, which you apparently have done. But, there is at least a possibility that some truth exists here, no? Or do you deny that possibility completely? I just simply think that life in the west has stripped women of so much of what is appealing to a real man. Not an emasculated man, but a real man. LOL.

the possibility i see is that what is appealing to you is a doormat because you dont seem to have what it takes to hold your own with western women