Why is being married so important to arangs here?

[Jip99]

After 5 years of living together I married my girlfriend, this is 7 years ago. This was my decision as I am getting older, there is 23 years difference between me and my wife, and in my country the widow receive a pension equal to 80% of the husband last pension income till she die or till she remarried.

She still not believe it, " Why should they want to do that " is her argument.

A few years ago she started a small business in order to support herself and to "be safe" the day I am no more there.

I put on a document all my coordinates and told her she has to go to my embassy with it, after my death, I feel I have done what I had to do, the rest is up to her.

Maybe different depending on which country you come from but embassies are usually as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike in these situations.

They will not assist in getting pension entitlements and, the case of the British embassy, they often wrongly tell widows that they are not entitled to UK benefits because they live in Thailand.

[luckyluke]

^

Not the case for my country, at least according to their site, so far you are written off in your country and registered at the embassy.

[Mosha]

The OP may consider himself not married, however I know how much it irritated erindoors, when I answered queries with "No she's not my wife.". In my mind I was making sire we were ok and not going to be arguing all the time. But after 5 months in her eyes we were married and she told me as much.

[Travel2003]

jesus mate get a life...why u want marry...and have all the problems that go with it..we come thai to get rid of all the bull shit..

Your mommy and daddy must start to be worried by now.

[DrTuner]

Marriage is a paper one can get for a small amount of effort from an amphoe, helps with bureaucrats. So why not. Relationship is another matter, don't need papers for that.

[rayongchelsea]

Why Marry at all.

The pool of available women isn't that great for the middle and older group and that is overstating it, infact it's very poor and it's mainly issan bar girls from out of the way villages..

Basically poor, uneducated,and at the the lowest level of Thai society, can't speak any English.Not very presentable, mutton dressed up as lamb.

Why burden yourself with problems which come with a companion from that background.Thai is a very hierarchical society, and a poor girl with a farang will be viewed by other Thais with some contempt, the gf or wife will be aware of this the farang will be almost oblivious.

It's not rocket science . Just look around you old guys with dogs..they are farm girls..

Just read the nonsense on this board..lived here a very long time a lot of it I can't even relate too..gambling, drinking, laziness,uncouth behaviour, financial stress,violence..can't clean..start businesses ( really!)..my gf says this my wife says that..all of a sudden they are bloody geniuses..

Reality sinks in after a while..Thailand gets you like that..

Why come here to marry..and not just enjoy yourself especially for the older guys...this I completely don't get!!! Other than they must have come looking for a wife( sexpat).

Then you get these farangs who don't even like their own country or fellow foreigner..not a good reason to come here and then isolate themselves, not a good omen for a good marriage..

Then you get farangs who hate western women...how much success will they have with any women..

What has become of the Thailand I once knew..!!it use to be a joy to say hello to a fellow farang once..now I hold back.

Of course this is a generalization but it's just what I see since I sold my business and retired and seem to have missed for the last 10 years..

Most farangs I have met are decent enough folks..and just want to be law abiding and decent but they just rush into everything, shouldn't marry for 5 years ( if you are going to ) and buy a house for 10years..

The young have a better chance and those working here..I have become very limited in meeting a possible partner since I stopped working, even then it was very difficult..been married twice..once straight after uni and then in Thailand mid 80's..

Good luck to those who have successful marriages..but the odds are just not there..especially now...and a lot of it is down to the farang not the Thai..the Thai in the bar is not deluding anyone..only the farang for thinking it is something else..

Take care..stay single..

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[Jip99]

Why Marry at all.

The pool of available women isn't that great for the middle and older group and that is overstating it, infact it's very poor and it's mainly issan bar girls from out of the way villages..

Basically poor, uneducated,and at the the lowest level of Thai society, can't speak any English.Not very presentable, mutton dressed up as lamb.

Why burden yourself with problems which come with a companion from that background.Thai is a very hierarchical society, and a poor girl with a farang will be viewed by other Thais with some contempt, the gf or wife will be aware of this the farang will be almost oblivious.

It's not rocket science . Just look around you old guys with dogs..they are farm girls..

Just read the nonsense on this board..lived here a very long time a lot of it I can't even relate too..gambling, drinking, laziness,uncouth behaviour, financial stress,violence..can't clean..start businesses ( really!)..my gf says this my wife says that..all of a sudden they are bloody geniuses..

Reality sinks in after a while..Thailand gets you like that..

Why come here to marry..and not just enjoy yourself especially for the older guys...this I completely don't get!!! Other than they must have come looking for a wife( sexpat).

Then you get these farangs who don't even like their own country or fellow foreigner..not a good reason to come here and then isolate themselves, not a good omen for a good marriage..

Then you get farangs who hate western women...how much success will they have with any women..

What has become of the Thailand I once knew..!!it use to be a joy to say hello to a fellow farang once..now I hold back.

Of course this is a generalization but it's just what I see since I sold my business and retired and seem to have missed for the last 10 years..

Most farangs I have met are decent enough folks..and just want to be law abiding and decent but they just rush into everything, shouldn't marry for 5 years ( if you are going to ) and buy a house for 10years..

The young have a better chance and those working here..I have become very limited in meeting a possible partner since I stopped working, even then it was very difficult..been married twice..once straight after uni and then in Thailand mid 80's..

Good luck to those who have successful marriages..but the odds are just not there..especially now...and a lot of it is down to the farang not the Thai..the Thai in the bar is not deluding anyone..only the farang for thinking it is something else..

Take care..stay single..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Why marry at all - I quite agree. Only for later financial benefits would it maker sense.

As for the rest of your diatribe, you clearly haven't got a clue.

[rayongchelsea]

Maybe I don't.

Then please enlighten me..

These are my observations..are u denying that I don't see what I see..

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[FiftyTwo]

Why Marry at all.

The pool of available women isn't that great for the middle and older group and that is overstating it, infact it's very poor and it's mainly issan bar girls from out of the way villages..

Basically poor, uneducated,and at the the lowest level of Thai society, can't speak any English.Not very presentable, mutton dressed up as lamb.

Why burden yourself with problems which come with a companion from that background.Thai is a very hierarchical society, and a poor girl with a farang will be viewed by other Thais with some contempt, the gf or wife will be aware of this the farang will be almost oblivious.

It's not rocket science . Just look around you old guys with dogs..they are farm girls..

Just read the nonsense on this board..lived here a very long time a lot of it I can't even relate too..gambling, drinking, laziness,uncouth behaviour, financial stress,violence..can't clean..start businesses ( really!)..my gf says this my wife says that..all of a sudden they are bloody geniuses..

Reality sinks in after a while..Thailand gets you like that..

Why come here to marry..and not just enjoy yourself especially for the older guys...this I completely don't get!!! Other than they must have come looking for a wife( sexpat).

Then you get these farangs who don't even like their own country or fellow foreigner..not a good reason to come here and then isolate themselves, not a good omen for a good marriage..

Then you get farangs who hate western women...how much success will they have with any women..

What has become of the Thailand I once knew..!!it use to be a joy to say hello to a fellow farang once..now I hold back.

Of course this is a generalization but it's just what I see since I sold my business and retired and seem to have missed for the last 10 years..

Most farangs I have met are decent enough folks..and just want to be law abiding and decent but they just rush into everything, shouldn't marry for 5 years ( if you are going to ) and buy a house for 10years..

The young have a better chance and those working here..I have become very limited in meeting a possible partner since I stopped working, even then it was very difficult..been married twice..once straight after uni and then in Thailand mid 80's..

Good luck to those who have successful marriages..but the odds are just not there..especially now...and a lot of it is down to the farang not the Thai..the Thai in the bar is not deluding anyone..only the farang for thinking it is something else..

Take care..stay single..

1. Every foreigner is fishing in the same pool.

2. Many Thais view all foreigners with contempt.

3. Judging a woman only by her looks may restrict your personal chances of finding a partner.

4. You are in Thailand, why not learn to speak Thai.

5. All Thais are genius, according to them.

6. Some men want love, no matter what their age or chance of success.

7. Some people might consider those whom want to meet foreigners because they are foreigners as racist.

8. You get some farangs who hate older white male foreigners.

You also take care, I don't think you will have any problem staying single.

Edited November 16, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Skint]

Any chance of changing the title?

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[rayongchelsea]

52.

You are probably right in that last sentence..not always abad thing..

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[WhingeingMoaners]

The prospect of getting old and living alone is so frightening for many elderly male Farangs. They need someone to look after them as soon as senility sets in and to assist them when they become physically incapable in their dotage.

[rayongchelsea]

But what about their families and it seems crazy to leave everything behind and move to a foreign country, and is their any guarantee that someone will look after them..but surely that doesn't entail the need to get married ?

I was walking along soi 31 in sukhumvit and a taxi stopped and asked us to look after a somewhat confused elderly farang. To cut a long story short he couldn't remember where he was staying, we found out he had stayed in hotel 27 a short term type hotel for 3 months on soi 22 with a girl who disappeared and they kicked him out because they thought he was going to die..eventually at 2 in the morning I took him into the foyer of the queens hotel and got them to call the tourist police, he was very unhappy as he was an overstay but what else could I do..I left him there..there is a big downside to the land of smiles for the elderly if things go wrong.

That was a few years ago now but really opened my eyes to how things can end up here..

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[Jip99]

But what about their families and it seems crazy to leave everything behind and move to a foreign country, and is their any guarantee that someone will look after them..but surely that doesn't entail the need to get married ?

I was walking along soi 31 in sukhumvit and a taxi stopped and asked us to look after a somewhat confused elderly farang. To cut a long story short he couldn't remember where he was staying, we found out he had stayed in hotel 27 a short term type hotel for 3 months on soi 22 with a girl who disappeared and they kicked him out because they thought he was going to die..eventually at 2 in the morning I took him into the foyer of the queens hotel and got them to call the tourist police, he was very unhappy as he was an overstay but what else could I do..I left him there..there is a big downside to the land of smiles for the elderly if things go wrong.

That was a few years ago now but really opened my eyes to how things can end up here..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

i know people in England who have done that in Brighton or Worthing.....

[DavidMavec]

Very simple reason....

Before Marriage my Wife and I could not stay together, we could not openly holiday together and I had to have her home before Midnight whenever we went out for dinner.

Sometimes we'd go out, be having a great night, but the crunch came at 11:30pm when I had to drop her home. Quite often I used to stay late at her house and have a few drinks with her parents after dropping her back. The rules were respected, well, we tried our best !...

Of course we slipped away for the odd holiday in and around Thailand. My Wife's parents parents probably guessed that she wasn't really visiting her cousin in the UK when we took off skiing or visited my parents... It was my Brother In Law who pointed out that these frequent trips away are getting a little 'too' obvious.

After a few years Marriage was the logical step for us as a couple.

Of course the cynic would suggest that its only the Woman who gains from Marriage, but in reality we have both gained, particularly with regards to our freedom, but also with regards to respect from both of our families for not shunning tradition or the expectations of those whom we respect.

Marriage simply rounded things off and made it easier for everyone...

Was she a virgin when you met her? That's important. If not, there is no reason for the above.

[luckyluke]

I suppose that most happy married people will promote marriage and most unhappy/delusional not.

[rayongchelsea]

Without question a happy marriage is hard to beat...

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[FiftyTwo]

I suppose that most happy married people will promote marriage and most unhappy/delusional not.

Nope, the unhappy promote marriage more, as they want everyone to suffer their misery.

[Jip99]

I suppose that most happy married people will promote marriage and most unhappy/delusional not.

I think I have spotted a typo - shouldn't the /delusional appear after the word "married" ?

Divorce rates, and the number of people who admit to being in an unhappy marriage, would support my view.

[Straight8]

Why Marry at all.

The pool of available women isn't that great for the middle and older group and that is overstating it, infact it's very poor and it's mainly issan bar girls from out of the way villages..

Basically poor, uneducated,and at the the lowest level of Thai society, can't speak any English.Not very presentable, mutton dressed up as lamb.

Why burden yourself with problems which come with a companion from that background.Thai is a very hierarchical society, and a poor girl with a farang will be viewed by other Thais with some contempt, the gf or wife will be aware of this the farang will be almost oblivious.

It's not rocket science . Just look around you old guys with dogs..they are farm girls..

Just read the nonsense on this board..lived here a very long time a lot of it I can't even relate too..gambling, drinking, laziness,uncouth behaviour, financial stress,violence..can't clean..start businesses ( really!)..my gf says this my wife says that..all of a sudden they are bloody geniuses..

Reality sinks in after a while..Thailand gets you like that..

Why come here to marry..and not just enjoy yourself especially for the older guys...this I completely don't get!!! Other than they must have come looking for a wife( sexpat).

Then you get these farangs who don't even like their own country or fellow foreigner..not a good reason to come here and then isolate themselves, not a good omen for a good marriage..

Then you get farangs who hate western women...how much success will they have with any women..

What has become of the Thailand I once knew..!!it use to be a joy to say hello to a fellow farang once..now I hold back.

Of course this is a generalization but it's just what I see since I sold my business and retired and seem to have missed for the last 10 years..

Most farangs I have met are decent enough folks..and just want to be law abiding and decent but they just rush into everything, shouldn't marry for 5 years ( if you are going to ) and buy a house for 10years..

The young have a better chance and those working here..I have become very limited in meeting a possible partner since I stopped working, even then it was very difficult..been married twice..once straight after uni and then in Thailand mid 80's..

Good luck to those who have successful marriages..but the odds are just not there..especially now...and a lot of it is down to the farang not the Thai..the Thai in the bar is not deluding anyone..only the farang for thinking it is something else..

Take care..stay single..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Why marry at all - I quite agree. Only for later financial benefits would it maker sense.

As for the rest of your diatribe, you clearly haven't got a clue.

Jip,

At a guess I would say it's you who doesn't have a clue [and possibly never will].

Do yourself a favour and take time to digest what Rayongchelsea has written, fact and fiction are two different things. However if you are happy with whatever it is you are doing in relation to this topic, kudos to you.

Rayong.. you are spot on!!

Edited November 17, 2013 by Straight8

[FiftyTwo]

I suppose that most happy married people will promote marriage and most unhappy/delusional not.

I think I have spotted a typo - shouldn't the /delusional appear after the word "married" ?

Divorce rates, and the number of people who admit to being in an unhappy marriage, would support my view.

Divorce rates for arranged marriages is 6-8%, pretty good IMHO.

[rayongchelsea]

 

Why Marry at all.

The pool of available women isn't that great for the middle and older group and that is overstating it, infact it's very poor and it's mainly issan bar girls from out of the way villages..

Basically poor, uneducated,and at the the lowest level of Thai society, can't speak any English.Not very presentable, mutton dressed up as lamb.

Why burden yourself with problems which come with a companion from that background.Thai is a very hierarchical society, and a poor girl with a farang will be viewed by other Thais with some contempt, the gf or wife will be aware of this the farang will be almost oblivious.

It's not rocket science . Just look around you old guys with dogs..they are farm girls..

Just read the nonsense on this board..lived here a very long time a lot of it I can't even relate too..gambling, drinking, laziness,uncouth behaviour, financial stress,violence..can't clean..start businesses ( really!)..my gf says this my wife says that..all of a sudden they are bloody geniuses..

Reality sinks in after a while..Thailand gets you like that..

Why come here to marry..and not just enjoy yourself especially for the older guys...this I completely don't get!!! Other than they must have come looking for a wife( sexpat).

Then you get these farangs who don't even like their own country or fellow foreigner..not a good reason to come here and then isolate themselves, not a good omen for a good marriage..

Then you get farangs who hate western women...how much success will they have with any women..

What has become of the Thailand I once knew..!!it use to be a joy to say hello to a fellow farang once..now I hold back.

Of course this is a generalization but it's just what I see since I sold my business and retired and seem to have missed for the last 10 years..

Most farangs I have met are decent enough folks..and just want to be law abiding and decent but they just rush into everything, shouldn't marry for 5 years ( if you are going to ) and buy a house for 10years..

The young have a better chance and those working here..I have become very limited in meeting a possible partner since I stopped working, even then it was very difficult..been married twice..once straight after uni and then in Thailand mid 80's..

Good luck to those who have successful marriages..but the odds are just not there..especially now...and a lot of it is down to the farang not the Thai..the Thai in the bar is not deluding anyone..only the farang for thinking it is something else..

Take care..stay single..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

 

Why marry at all - I quite agree. Only for later financial benefits would it maker sense.

 

As for the rest of your diatribe, you clearly haven't got a clue.

 

 

Jip,

 

At a guess I would say it's you who doesn't have a clue [and possibly never will].

 

Do yourself a favour and take time to digest what Rayongchelsea has written, fact and fiction are two different things. However if you are happy with whatever it is you are doing in relation to this topic, kudos to you.

 

Rayong.. you are spot on!!

It wasn't meant as a diatribe, it is just very frustrating that I can't find a companion for my later years..it wasn't meant as a criticism it was just my observations and again certainly not a diatribe , thanks anyway..

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[luckyluke]

Nobody is really interested in happy news, in fact being happy in one way or another is not news; newspapers, television, forums...are generaly spokesmen of calamities.

So when somebody mention he has a happy marriage on a forum, he doesn't fix in the context and is considered as an exemption.

[geronimo]

Personally I think along the lines of ..... Why fix it if it ain't broke!

You seem to have a fine relationship with your partner and if you didn't concern yourself too much about why western men seem to feel the need to marry, you wouldn't waste any mental energy.

I always love to hear of things that work!