Opinion and advice please on somewhat difficult "relationship" with Thai

[CharlieH]

There none so blind as those who will not see, and none more deaf as those who will not listen!

The nationality doesnt matter, the principal does !

[lemoncake]

I'm surprised that the OP has got himself in this situation.

With his apparent wealth of knowledge on all things Thai highlighted in so many other threads, plus his ability to speak fluent Thai, one finds it difficult to understand how this situation could possibly arise.

Equally, one wonders why he is unable to satisfactorily resolve the predicament to his satisfaction.

Since you felt like trolling , please do post a link to a thread when I claimed to speak fluent Thai and when I claimed to be an expert on all Thai things.

Will await for either the links or an apology

Here you go. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/657944-no-russian-mafia-in-pattaya-chief-of-banglamung-district/page-6?hl=%2Brussian+%2Bmafia+%2Bfluent+%2Bthai#entry6677565

Although I do recall that you edited your post and said that you spoke fluent Russian instead, but I'd already quoted you saying you spoke fluent Thai. I never knew which piece of rhetoric (if any) to believe.

That's interesting, it says fluent Russian but you recall it was Thai ? So I edited it just for you? Or was I planning some future mastermind??

It sure helps to think sometimes with the head above the shoulders

[Orac]

Everyone keeps referring to the 'employee' and her 'son' when, according to the OP they are both in fact employees. Though the woman was employed to work in the hotel and the OP asked her to look after his house while he was away the son was specifically employed to look after the house. I am not sure what the labour laws are in Thailand but the OP needs to deal with the situation accordingly so it is more a case disciplining/sacking the lad rather than just treating him as the son of another employee.

[bifftastic]

The OP had an emergency, and had to leave LOS for an extended time. The eleven animals is what came so devastating into play.

Now he's back, animals are skinny, things stolen and broken, and everything's filthy.

I can see Beetlejuice's point. If the business is not entirely above board, there's a problem getting tough with the staff.

But Scooterboy, he's a different story.

Assuming you are not going to, as CharlieH says, come clean with us, here's my advice:

Tell the woman her son is out in 5 minutes. NOW! If she does and he leaves --- in five minutes --- she keeps her job. If not, have the police come, take them out, file a report for theft and damages and take your lumps.

If Scooterboy leaves, tell the woman to clean everything, by herself, and arrange everything as it was. Buy the cleaning supplies for her. Change the locks.

Go back to work.

NOTE TO THAILAND NEWBIES: Don't ever get yourself in a situation where you must depend on the average Thai to watch over your things when you have an emergency. And, keep all your doings here in LOS, above board.

Excellent advice.

Get the son out immediately. Get this staff member to restore the house to it's previous condition. Any refusal or hesitation, call the police.

When we go away and leave our house in the care of our relatives (wife's sister, nephews etc.), my wife locks everything of value in our bedroom. She even puts the sofa and chairs in our daughters room and locks it! And that's for our relatives, not staff who we don't even know!

[HeijoshinCool]

Sorry for your situation. It is awkward but really she is ultimately responsible for damages which occurred.

Is it really that hard to replace her as an employee? Sounds like you are more attached to her emotionally than you are admitting.

Best of luck

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

It is hard at the moment, being high season and more so good maids are really hard to find

What's hard, Lemoncake, is that the woman that trashed your house and made it filthy, is a maid.

If you spent your time away at your mom's bedside, it's doubly devastating to come home to such a mess. Don't drag this out, man. Get it sorted and move on.

Possibly one of the reason for not being able to think straight.

She did work in hotel and did look after the animals, so as I mentioned, she did do a good deed, it's just the state of house and her family attitude towards my stuff that is bothering me

People of low social status and education are not emotionally equipped to care about others' property or feelings.

She did not do you any favors. She stood by while others took advantage of you, stole from you, and disrespected you. They also disrespected her, not caring about the fact that she is your staff.

Selfish, stupid lot.

[transam]

Sounds like she had a few ding dong parties .

She might be a perfect employee but it seems she is a slob in her own personal life style.

As for the lad, party is now over, so adios.

[Gsxrnz]

I'm surprised that the OP has got himself in this situation.

With his apparent wealth of knowledge on all things Thai highlighted in so many other threads, plus his ability to speak fluent Thai, one finds it difficult to understand how this situation could possibly arise.

Equally, one wonders why he is unable to satisfactorily resolve the predicament to his satisfaction.

Since you felt like trolling , please do post a link to a thread when I claimed to speak fluent Thai and when I claimed to be an expert on all Thai things.

Will await for either the links or an apology

Here you go. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/657944-no-russian-mafia-in-pattaya-chief-of-banglamung-district/page-6?hl=%2Brussian+%2Bmafia+%2Bfluent+%2Bthai#entry6677565

Although I do recall that you edited your post and said that you spoke fluent Russian instead, but I'd already quoted you saying you spoke fluent Thai. I never knew which piece of rhetoric (if any) to believe.

That's interesting, it says fluent Russian but you recall it was Thai ? So I edited it just for you? Or was I planning some future mastermind??

It sure helps to think sometimes with the head above the shoulders

Check out #136 where I quoted you. But never mind Dude, my BSometer is way off the scale with you so I can't be bothered debating your ability to keep track of your vibrant imaginative tales. Sayonara <------- That's Japanese.

[farang000999]

Start walking around naked. Sit next to him on the couch and put your hand on his leg and tell him that you are horny. Hopefully he won't murder you and leaves.

[HeijoshinCool]

Start walking around naked. Sit next to him on the couch and put your hand on his leg and tell him that you are horny. Hopefully he won't murder you and leaves.

There is, you know, a chance that might not turn out well.

[davethailand]

People of low social status and education are not emotionally equipped to care about others' property or feelings.

She did not do you any favors. She stood by while others took advantage of you, stole from you, and disrespected you. They also disrespected her, not caring about the fact that she is your staff.

Selfish, stupid lot.

Really?

[mrtoad]

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Animals are al? What does that mean?

Please please please tell me how and why my tax matters related to OP or any of your business ???

BJ is just being a jobsworth. There is an ignore button, use it, you won't be missing out on anything.

You have made several errors 1) you have created a position where the staff knows the you are reliant on them 2) you mixed business with personal life 3) you employed additional family members 4) you haven't confronted the person and kicked them out.

You are a soft target. Grow some &lt;deleted&gt;.

Edited November 17, 2013 by mrtoad

[mrtoad]

Did you fill out tax returns this year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

Animals are al? What does that mean?

why don't you stop your utmost silly questions?

the OP has asked for advice / opinions and last not least assistance. whether he filed a tax return or not as well as the kind of his pets are irrelevant!

I think BJ has taken on the role as Thai Visa work and employment police. I wonder if he has a nice polo shirt and shiny badge?

[arthurwait]

Pick the kid up and throw him out the door.

You never know the mother maybe glad ,it all maybe his doing. She may not have control over him

If she does then she doesn't respect you and get rid. Yes I know how difficult it is to find staff in Thailand due to so many of the population being so lazy, but this is the problem with people like this give an inch and they take a mile.

[arthurwait]

Start walking around naked. Sit next to him on the couch and put your hand on his leg and tell him that you are horny. Hopefully he won't murder you and leaves.

Eats, shoots and leaves ?

[BookMan]

I'm surprised that the OP has got himself in this situation.

With his apparent wealth of knowledge on all things Thai highlighted in so many other threads, plus his ability to speak fluent Thai, one finds it difficult to understand how this situation could possibly arise.

Equally, one wonders why he is unable to satisfactorily resolve the predicament to his satisfaction.

Since you felt like trolling , please do post a link to a thread when I claimed to speak fluent Thai and when I claimed to be an expert on all Thai things.

Will await for either the links or an apology

Here you go. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/657944-no-russian-mafia-in-pattaya-chief-of-banglamung-district/page-6?hl=%2Brussian+%2Bmafia+%2Bfluent+%2Bthai#entry6677565

Although I do recall that you edited your post and said that you spoke fluent Russian instead, but I'd already quoted you saying you spoke fluent Thai. I never knew which piece of rhetoric (if any) to believe.

That's interesting, it says fluent Russian but you recall it was Thai ? So I edited it just for you? Or was I planning some future mastermind??

It sure helps to think sometimes with the head above the shoulders

Well, you certainly did say you spoke fluent Thai...and edited later...as per the link below

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/657944-no-russian-mafia-in-pattaya-chief-of-banglamung-district/?p=6677266

[Mighty Mouse]

When you live in a house day in and day out, you fail to see how untidy and dirty it really is until you visit a house where the owner is fastidious about cleanliness.

I have managed to obtain some photos of the OP's house prior to him going away on his trip.

With the help of his female employee , I managed to obtain some photos of his house after he came home.

It's easy for us to see that nothing much has changed in the OP's house, so why is he complaining?

[PaullyW]

When you live in a house day in and day out, you fail to see how untidy and dirty it really is until you visit a house where the owner is fastidious about cleanliness.

 

I have managed to obtain some photos of the OP's house prior to him going away on his trip.

{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif mess5.jpg{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif mess12.jpg{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif mess1.jpg

 

 

With the help of his female employee , I managed to obtain some photos of his house after he came home.

{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif mess16.jpg{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif messy.jpg{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif room-640x480.jpg{style_image_url}/attachicon.gif messy5.jpg

 

 

It's easy for us to see that nothing much has changed in the OP's house, so why is he complaining?

Wow. Atrocious. I might have to put lunch on hold until I can get it out of my mind.

[harryfrompattaya]

When you try to get the son to move he will attack you he thinks you are his mothers lover plain and sample

Sell the business and get out of the country you are going end up dead.if you stay

Maybe sell nothing and just leave

You are very rich it is only money you have only one life

Stop being a cheap Carlie

Edited November 17, 2013 by harryfrompattaya

[lemoncake]

My opinion forget about the damages it was stupid of you to ho have her babysit your house. Your mistake, cant make her pay for it all.

However tell her her son needs to go your a foreigner and need privacy unlike a Thai. Change locks and see it as a learning experience. In the past i have had Thais babysit my house and dogs too. There were always some things going wrong like alcohol missing ect, not as extreme as in your case. In the end it was worth it for me inclusive the damages.

Your case is more extreme but the damages will be hard to recoup without getting problems with your staff. Bigger problem in my book is that my dog is / was part of my home security and its dangerous to have the kind of individual as you describe trusted by your dog.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

I was thinking down the same kind of path and although the care she and family provided was not the best. animals did stay at home and seemed to be ok.

There is no doubt she loves animals, but does not have as much knowledge or experience with them.

[lemoncake]

When you try to get the son to move he will attack you he thinks you are his mothers lover plain and sample

Sell the business and get out of the country you are going end up dead.if you stay

Maybe sell nothing and just leave

You are very rich it is only money you have only one life

Stop being a cheap Carlie

, do you get scared of your own shadow?

[Piccadilly Circus]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

People like this are very dangerous, this is a prime example why one should keep ones mouth shut, firmly shut.

[lemoncake]

When you live in a house day in and day out, you fail to see how untidy and dirty it really is until you visit a house where the owner is fastidious about cleanliness.

I have managed to obtain some photos of the OP's house prior to him going away on his trip.

mess5.jpgmess12.jpgmess1.jpg

With the help of his female employee , I managed to obtain some photos of his house after he came home.

mess16.jpgmessy.jpgroom-640x480.jpgmessy5.jpg

It's easy for us to see that nothing much has changed in the OP's house, so why is he complaining?

I guess you failed to read few rules? or is trolling your nature?

[lemoncake]

If you are running a business in Thailand than there must be other Thai directors involved, as imposed under Thai law. If not and this woman is your only staff member, than your business cannot be legal.

Also you mentioned that you have some animals. what sort of condition were these in when you returned to the home?

If the son and this woman are still in your home, than it appears there is more to this other than just a employer staff relationship, because no employer would let a staff member squat in their own home, no matter how good the employee.

If your business is legal with the other Thai directors, so why not insist on their support in coming to some arrangement with this so-called staff member?

So what`s the real deal here? Because none of this makes sense.

Please read what has been written, saves me having to repost same thing over and over again, especially when it's only 1 page

Nope, I`ve looked and still ask the same questions.

Where are the Thai directors of your company who should be sharing this burden with you.? Because if this woman and her son are refusing to leave your home, then this is a police matter as she is intruding.

Were the animals treated well during your absence?

And are you seriously trying to say that good staff in Thailand are so valuable that an employer would let them take over their homes?

Did you fill out tax returns last year and is this staff member registered with the tax and employment office as a legitimate employee of your company?

People like this are very dangerous, this is a prime example why one should keep ones mouth shut, firmly shut.

So why are not you practice what you preach?

[MichaelJackson]

No staff is worth tolerating that abuse of your kindness and generosity of employment. Clean the house and the staff out.

[lemoncake]

Thai way?

Thai or not, anyone who refuses to leave your house, purportedly because of a fear of ghosts , is not someone even one's own mother can handle through "talking."

She gets rid of him, she keeps her job. You can let her go when low season comes around.

Heij, the kid is not a bad kid, he is only 16-17 years, naturally he wants to stay in a house with tv, internet and everything else.

I have no doubts asking him to leave would not be an issue sort of speak, its just asking in a way not to offend.

The reason why i am somewhat hesitant as well is because even now that i am back, she continues to help out with the animals.

Some have read i have brought 2 more dogs from Australia(they belonged to my mother) so its somewhat hard to look after 5 when going for walks.

Do note, i did not ask her to help or say anything, she is doing it on her own accord and says she likes go for walks with my dogs twice per day.

So i really do not feel she has a bad streak in her or she intentionally caused the damage.

Her kids, in my opinion simply were not taught house manners. Day after i raised the issue of toothpaste, son stopped using mine, though still no admission of guilt.

Would receiving at least a "sorry" make me feel better? may be

I may well be over reacting and it may well be Thai way or some Thai way.

[Piccadilly Circus]

No staff is worth tolerating that abuse of your kindness and generosity of employment. Clean the house and the staff out.

Or maybe Lemon brain could tell the kid if he don't leave he will send you round their with bubbles to "take care of him".

[FiftyTwo]

Kid, you wrecked my home and stole my stuff, get out.

There you go, no offence intended.

[lemoncake]

There is more to this story than is being revealed. You should either be hinest with us, so we can help appropriately or be honest with yourself and admit there is more going on with how you feel about this female. It seems she has something over you, or you are affraid she is going to do something and all this is stopping you doing and behaving how you know you should.

You are asking for ways to handle a situation but I dont believe you are being 100% honest about everything.

No one is interested in the type of business, what animals, taxes or anything else like that, (they might be curious etc) its not relevant to the issue, the issue is the relationship with the woman, the damages, the son, and getting back on an even keel, so to speak.

So whats really going on with her?

Other than being good staff, whats she got on you, what you scared of?

As for the son, tell him to leave, change the locks etc, get the house straight again, no one allowed in!

Once the house is free of him, cleaned up back to normal, next you address the problems with her etc people can help with that when you give a bit more on her and the real situation.

Mate, already explained numerous times. She has nothing over me.

There is no hidden secret or agenda

Not everyone lives in some covert world.

Sometimes, it is as simple as it sounds and possibly my over reaction or failure to set terms is biting me back

[PaullyW]

OP, given your responses, it would seem that your relationship with the woman may be more involved than you are letting on, no? If this is what it is, why don't you just let things develop naturally?

Keep them in the house and take on the father figure role for the teenage boy. Make a more serious commitment to the female staff, perhaps leading to a sharing of business ownership between the two of you.

[metisdead]

A post containing profanity has been removed as well as a reply.