Assault, harrasment to daughter

[JLCrab]

Some of the suggestions as above in contacting the family of the 'perpetrator' might leave the OP more vulnerable to legal claims against him from the kid's parents than to solving the ongoing day-to-day vulnerability of his daughter.

[Sheryl]

His behavior is escalating and this is a very dangerous situation. It is exactly the pattern that often precedes a fatal assault.

If it is at all feasible, I would have someone guard your daughter and/or get her somewhere he can't find her.

Would also simultaneously proceed with some of the other suggestions i.e.

restraining order

have police call on the family (if you have any influential friends, they can help make this happen)

[HeijoshinCool]

His behavior is escalating and this is a very dangerous situation. It is exactly the pattern that often precedes a fatal assault.

If it is at all feasible, I would have someone guard your daughter and/or get her somewhere he can't find her.

Would also simultaneously proceed with some of the other suggestions i.e.

restraining order

have police call on the family (if you have any influential friends, they can help make this happen)

Agreed.

Restraining orders, however, only hold sway on those who were likely never an advanced (serious violence) threat, and usually never work on those who intend serious harm, but in the States, they are PC.

As a cop, my estimation of them was they never stopped the truly violent, rather just the petty, insecure harrassers.

People who are afraid of the consequences of breaking an RO, follow them. They were never a threat to begin with. Those who aren't afraid of consequences, don't. Not many consequences here in LOS, if any. Any "man" who engages in this activity for seven months, and spits on a woman, is not a a rule follower, nor afraid of consequences.especially if his parents are rich.

Restraining orders can indeed, even exacerbate the situation, being seen as a challenge and/or an insult.

Transgressors who are intent on causing harm, will not be deterred by papers served, official warnings, or threats.

First get the girl out of harm's way.

[JLCrab]

Sheryl -- I agree with the protection as I posted in #6. The OP has said he contacted lawyers and there is no such thing as a 'restraining order' in Thailand. There have been police reports filed and as the police did no follow-up the parents of the kid can deny anything took place.

Note: Overlap to HJSC

Edited November 17, 2013 by JLCrab

[NeverSure]

Agreed.

Restraining orders, however, only hold sway on those who were likely never an advanced (serious violence) threat, and usually never work on those who intend serious harm, but in the States, they are PC.

As a cop, my estimation of them was they never stopped the truly violent, rather just the petty, insecure harrassers.

People who are afraid of the consequences of breaking an RO, follow them. They were never a threat to begin with. Those who aren't afraid of consequences, don't. Not many consequences here in LOS, if any. Any "man" who engages in this activity for seven months, and spits on a woman, is not a a rule follower, nor afraid of consequences.especially if his parents are rich.

Restraining orders can indeed, even exacerbate the situation, being seen as a challenge and/or an insult.

Transgressors who are intent on causing harm, will not be deterred by papers served, official warnings, or threats.

First get the girl out of harm's way.

[somtampet]

_{Go to this scumbags family,with your daughter and reports from cop shops.Explain VERY clearly that u will not allow him to harrass your daughter EVER again,and they have a respnsibility to discipline their son for wrong doings.}

_{If all else fails then i would have to re-arrange his face permanently}

[JLCrab]

Great -- and while you are reading the riot act they call their friends in the cops and have you arrested for trespassing and threatening their family.

Edited November 17, 2013 by JLCrab

[FiftyTwo]

She needs a new 'violent thug' boyfriend who isn't into stalking ex-girlfriends.

That way, the stalker is taken out pretty quickly, and the 'thug' moves on shortly.

Edited November 17, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[Sheryl]

Sheryl -- I agree with the protection as I posted in #6. The OP has said he contacted lawyers and there is no such thing as a 'restraining order' in Thailand. There have been police reports filed and as the police did no follow-up the parents of the kid can deny anything took place.

Note: Overlap to HJSC

There is in fact such a thing as a temporary protective order, enacted as part of legislation on violence against women.

The police were either incorrect or didn't want to be bothered. It vcan still be pursued, though indeed he may not respect it.

Getting an influential person to give him and his family the message that this has to stop is the most efficacious solution but dependent on the OP having such connections.

Lacking that a meeting with a higher ranking police official accompanied by some tea money may work. A lot depends on just how rich/powerful the family is.

[JLCrab]

You can hire someone perhaps an off duty police man to guard the daughter today. All the rest is protracted. The problem with getting influential persons to contact the family is that they may be more influential.

If the kid is that wacko then sooner or later he may attempt to visit the girl in her own dwelling (while protected) and then criminal charges under the Thai Criminal Code can be brought against the kid. All the rest is fluff.

BTW my only encounter when anything close to this in Thailand occurred when I was threatened and my land lady contacted the police who said I should file a report so, if i get the sh-t beaten out of me, they will know who did it.

[NeverSure]

I'm 100% with HC. Priority 1 is to get the girl out of harm's way. I too have seen restraining orders do nothing but make the perp more angry and determined and they often end in disaster. In Thailand with that matter of "face"...

We farangs simply can't compete with Thais, especially rich ones in the justice system. This has been going on for 7 months and indicates a guy who is mental. The only thing you have a hope of changing is your daughter's (secret) location. It's a shame it is that way, but it is.

[donniereadit]

Buy her some mace/pepper spray, you can even get the kind that is for dogs that works just as well on humans.

[beachproperty]

JL Crab....said "The problem with getting influential persons to contact the family is that they may be more influential."

And therein lies the real problem....If they are at the top of the food chain...you will not be able to get ANY BIB to talk to them. The BIB's may take your money and say they'll talk to them ...but all they will talk about is how the "dumb' farang gave him money... and have a good laugh....

The BIB's are more afraid of losing their job if they confront some "high-up" so ....depending on how high up is the "real question".

Get your daughter away...NOW ...make sure she is not in contact with the scumbag (he may be telling her how sorry he is, how he really cares, etc...) You gotta remember TIT ....if you get confrontational...your daughter and you and the family may conveniently "disappear".

..

And also remember ....in the West we fight to "win" ...Thai's fight to "kill",

Any confrontation by you to them is futile....forget about it.

Sorry if this sounds brutal ....but that's my opinion....Your daughter is your #1 concern ...Protect her now...get here away ...Send her to your home country with family (or friends) for awhile..

Feel bad you have to deal with this ....but with some Thai's ...there is no reasoning!

Edited November 17, 2013 by beachproperty

[Beetlejuice]

Here is what to do:

If this guy attends the same University as your daughter?

Firstly I have no doubts that this moron is also harassing your daughter online.

Save all the material online and emails as evidence, including IP addresses and header details from emails. Then print this out on paper.

Visit your daughter’s University and demand a meeting with the heads of departments, take all your evidence with you. Insist that the guy is either dismissed from the University or as a compromise is given an official letter stating that if he commits any more harassment against your daughter that he will be expelled and also that the guy’s parents are made aware of the situation and unless this is met, you will immediately remove your daughter from the University and publish the reasons why on the Internet.

If the University complies and the guy still continues to harass your daughter, then go and visit his parents. Take some people with you; do not go alone without witnesses otherwise the parents may claim that you started a confrontation first. If the guy attempts to follow your daughter home, then you can physically remove him from the areas around your home and if the guy gets hurt, so be it, as providing reasonable force is used this is perfectly acceptable by the police. But in case of any inquires, make sure that you yourself is squeaky clean here in Thailand, visas, work permits if working and so on, just in case the parents try to establish anything they can use against you.

Next; and this is most important, curb all your daughters activities on facebook, social networking sites and whatever else she does online for the time being, even change her mobile phone number, so that this guy and others who may go against your daughter do not get any leads as to your daughter’s whereabouts and daily routines and any other information that could be used to stalk your daughter by this guy.

Unfortunately crime prevention in Thailand is given a low priority and they don`t normally act until something happens. But make the University aware that police reports have been made and that the police are aware and monitoring the situation. Even if the police are not monitoring the situation, tell this to the University anyway.

Do not entertain this guy or make any compromises with him, not even for an instant, take a no tolerance stance against him by first taking the actions I have mentioned above.

[JLCrab]

My opinion & 20 baht gets you a ride on the SkyTrain but the above to me would be a good description of what you should not do.

-- meaning you should not confront the parents of the kid and you should not drag the school into it.

Edited November 17, 2013 by JLCrab

[slapout]

Thanks for the input for the most part. The kid "got out of dodge" for the weedend, staying with trusted friends. Will probably check out of school and apt. Monday or Tuesday and come home to regroup. and bond with dad. ha

Just to answer some of the suggestions, her apartment is secure and the security will not alow the boy in, (after first incident) she got a new phone number 1 month ago, ( he got it somehow.) The school will only get involved unless an assult takes place on campus, (the school does not address bullying in code of conduct), boy is careful and knows this, No matter how many holes you plug, a rat will find another or gnaw their way The parents are protective, unseeing. The mother witnessed the boy physically assulting the daughter and did nothing. The father even mentioned that a man may need to sort a women out every so often.

With the girl at home, even if the boy comes to CM and stays at their vacation home here, he is a coward, he has maintaned a great distance between him and me, unfortunately. I have even told the daughter that she can relay that I would enjoy meeting him in person, but no luck. I am sure that some will say there are better ways to handle the situation, but the daughters physical safety is first and other measures can follow.

[EyesWideOpen]

Well I admire you for your restraint.... :-) I have a three year old daughter. If she was older and going to university, and some worthless

son of some " hi-so" was beating on my daughter, I cannot even imagine the level of violence I would then visit upon him.......

So if you have put up with this nonsense for 7 months, and are talking about restraining orders, clearly we are cut from

different bolts of cloth........

Edited November 17, 2013 by EyesWideOpen

[HeijoshinCool]

With the girl at home, even if the boy comes to CM and stays at their vacation home here, he is a coward ….

All "men" who commit violent acts on woman are cowards. Think about what you are saying.

he has maintaned a great distance between him and me, unfortunately ….

This is typical of the more dangerous. Don't be fooled into thinking he does not have the potential for violence.

I have even told the daughter that she can relay that I would enjoy meeting him in person, but no luck ….

Encouraging her to contact him, even through intermediaries, for any purpose, might well be seen as a challenge or invitation, and prompt him to move forward.

Bear in mind you do not think like him.

Best of luck.

[JLCrab]

Whatever else has happened to date, the girl has apparently suffered no great physical harm. What could happen in the future if the boy would be allowed further contact with the girl is only speculation. However, one could exert a level of violence against the boy here in Thailand such that the father might never see his daughter again except on visiting days.

Edited November 17, 2013 by JLCrab

[A1Str8]

I am planning to advertise myself as a helper. Whenever these slutty boys feel tough and get aggressive, instead of hurting a brittle woman I would require them to give me a call and meet me so I could deal with these soft sweethearts.

[yourauntbob]

I would hire a rather aggressive body guard. Not aggressive enough to go looking for this guy, but aggressive enough to consider the sight of said person as putting my daughter in eminent danger and to neuter neutralize the assailant.

[Tchooptip]

Why have you allowed this to go on for so long? 7 months,? Why didnt you deal with him day one he put his hands on your child![/quote.]

An answer undoubtably of great help for OP, congratulation!

[Mario2008]

Contact the Duang Prateep foundation for help and advice.

http://en.dpf.or.th/

If anyone can make the police to act..

[CraigSchuler]

Motor bike taxi driver......That's all I'm gonna say!

[bitcoinbob]

the first thing to realize the domestic abuse in thailand is off the charts. this boy is a product of his family- dad has done they same thing to his mother, going to the family would be worthless maybe even increase the violence at the fathers encouragement. thai police in this situation are equally worthless. 7 months is way to long and sounds like it has been increasing. he can get violent at any time so protect your daughter , noifity the university and whatever womens groups in thailand that they have for help. if nothing move her out and into hiding , before you dont have a daughter anymore.

[cosmont]

As a father, i empathize and I will immediatly give a call to the boy to put pressure on him. I will let him know that I am aware of the problem and will take action against him if this happen again.

Second step, will contact the family.

Third step, hope not reach this step.

[TechnikaIII]

Apologies if this contravenes Thailand's or TV's laws (particularly in light of what you were told), but I know what I would be doing if some little perp were slapping/harassing my daughter; the wealth/status of said perp's family doesn't come into it.

... yes and make a public show of it. ... " as the boy is from wealthy family". Drag them into it, and threaten them, naming them, shaming them, everything. Let them know that their wealth does not provide their shit-for-brain son with impunity. Have you got photos of him? Use them.

I did similar when I was robbed by two guys in my town. One was from a "respected family". The other a drop kick. The local cop was reluctant to take action against the connected one. But he called both in for questioning. A debate out the street had them agree to return the stolen money or I would press charges.

I had the money returned within 24 hours. Generally the peaceful type, I also bailed up one of them out in the street, threatening to drop him on the spot, and let the entire neighborhood know, that stealing from me will result in swift and strong action.

Admittedly I was emboldened by having a connected family or two watching my back too. But the immediate neighbours don't know that.

Edited November 18, 2013 by TechnikaIII

[Hecate]

Please get your daughter to a safe location where she is not alone. Don't take any risks with her safety. It's not worth it. He could kill her. Men who kill their partners usually have a pattern of stalking and assault first. Missing a semester of college may seem like a big deal, but really it's not. Make sure she has some tools available to her such as mace, self-defense training and so on. Maybe even a gun. Install video cameras, and make sure his family is aware you have these, but not their location. Keep records of everything.

Women should be aware of warning signs so they are less likely to become involved with people like this, although some of these nuts become obsessed with women they have never spoken to.

[beachproperty]

I find it amazing that most of the posters believe that western logic and a western solution will work in Thailand....

Personally, although I agree with said solutions as being applied in the west, this problem is occurring in Thailand...you have to take a step back and "think" Thai (if there is even such a mode)....

Taking into consideration the uselessness of the BIB's, the court system, etc....OP is basicly on his own....The Thai solution may be to have the scumbag "disappear", but the more civilized solution, and I believe, the safest for all concerned would be to remove the daughter from access (send her abroad.... it would be good for her anyway). It appears there IS STILL contact between her and him (I have even told the daughter that she can relay that I would enjoy meeting him in person, but no luck ) Why, in God"s name, would you even consider having the daughter relay anything to him.....to stay in contact?????

IMO.... you better toughen up, as first off you let this fester for 7 months AND she,apparently, is STILL in contact with him...Helloooooooooo

Still I wish you luck in resolving a tough situation....

[Nip]

Contact the Pavena Foundation for Children and Women 1047 - 51 Pon Luang Complex Soi AmpornPhan 12, Moo 7 Phaholythin Road, Klong Tanon, BangKhen Bangkok 10220 Tel: 0972 5489 90 Website: http://www.pavena.thai.com/emain.html Email: [email protected]

The Pavena Foundation for Children and Women was founded by Mrs. Pavena Hongsakul, Bangkok Member of Parliament - It is a non-profit organization that was established to help children and women who are in need of help. Pavena normally makes a phone call to the local police and they have no option but to take immediate action. Copy all the police reports to her and if necessary go see her. She is a very impressive operator and is genuinely concerned about women's issues....