What Do You Pay For, For Your Girlfriend?

[wilko]

I would say that Thailand is around 50 years behind the UK in terms of gender relations, both economically and thus culturally. Things are changing and may take more than 50 years to be like the UK but they are changing. BTW the UK hardly has gender equality in the workplace or home as a rule but is far ahead of Thailand.

People like Glenbat and Monochaser are well suited to a society in which the man is expected to pay, of which Glenbat is 'thankful' for his upbringing. All due respect, don't take what I say personally please. Its funny since Glenbat was saying that he never paid a penny to his bargirl girlfriend, but in reality paid for everything (which he states). And whilst there is not necessarily anything wrong in that per se (and yes that applies to many women in the world), I can assure you she was wanting you to provide more and more. Anyway back to topic.

The reality is that this cultural idea is derived from the man being the breadwinner. As the economics of gender change so will cultural expectations.

I think the judgement should be an academic one based upon money. If the man earns more, which is inevitably the case with a farrang bf/husband then fair dues he should pay proportionally more.

But one should be aware of a woman who has sought a partner for 'this reason'.

Of course many men don't care! They just like the nice young thing on their arm and know that their money could never get them something like that from the country they are from.

You seem to be suggesting that there is a linear progression toward gender equality taking place in these 2 countries and that the only difference is the point in time along that progression. I can't see that sitting happpily with the great cultural differences that prevail in both societies both now, 50 ago and 50 years hence.

[Jared]

I pay for everything, she looks after me the house and our son, the exact same situation it would be back in the Uk if I was married to an English girl and we just has a child.

[Jookster]

Interesting how some people say that most people on here are with bargirls and others regard members as having mostly high earning, high powered wives/gf's. Anyway at least that points to ideas of differences between society.

Anyway Wilko, although I think that gender relations certainly change nearer to 'equality' (note I do not regard the UK or the West generally as equal per se) I never said that Thailand would be the same as UK in 50 years.

I stated that it will may take more than 50 years, but that things are changing. I think you would agree with that

Edited December 11, 2006 by Jookster

[kmart]

Thailand and a lot of Asian countries attract Western men because the roles of gender are probably 30-50 years behind that of the West. Western culture has become so occupied with "equality" in everything that the goalposts have moved off the field altogether. Now we have "Affirmative Action" and reverse discrimination being "normal", just to really tee off the traditionally productive and successful members of society.

Sorry, rant over!

I normally pay when we go out. The missus has a reasonably paid secretarial job and some money for herself and her family, but I am the major earner and it seems to work out well for us both.

[Simbo]

Our money is just that "our money" It has always been that way from the start. hel_l, Now almost 20 years of marriage (same girl) it seems like some women want to run the show.

No problem, Have at it!

I am ok with that cause I'm going fishin.

Got a place to sleep and meals when hungry.

Yea, go ahead, show me You got a beat em at there own game.

Are you my husband??

The fishing was a dead giveaway there

He doesn't really leave me in charge tho, we make decisions together about our money. But mainly, he just goes fishing

There is fishing and fishing, golf too.

[undercover]

We're about 50/50 in the daily household things, she has a job and likes to have her own money and pay her share, Any big expences like house repairs ect then its me that fits the bill, I would hate to have a cash cow like some blokes.

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

Seems to me that this question in Thai Visa Forum is not representitive of the general Farang population in Thailand.

Most of the posters on this Forum are married to high powered, high earning hi-so women, the others have girlfriends they met in top universities who have connections to the monied elite.

We even used to have a poster whose wife was having lunch with the deputy Prime Minister on a regular basis.

How can one expect truthful or accurate replies on an anonymous internet forum?

I don't know man, in my experiences with the guys who marry bar girls, they generally don't give a F*&^ what anyone else thinks ( guess you would have too) and have no problems saying they met their wife in a bar. I Rember my boss for my first middle east Assignment was a Salty old Marine that married a Philipeno bar girl. his wife came by the office while we were all outside on a ciggerate break, he told us without hesitation,after she had left, "Yeah I took her out of the bar, I don't blame here thats just the way of escaping poverty for these women"

[pumpuiman]

When I was single I always paid for everything. All my life. Now I'm married and the money is "ours" although we have seperate savings accounts.

The seperate savings allows for "surprise" purchases for your spouse's birthday or holiday gifts, and maintains a little individuality in the relationship.

[Unknown]

Just curious about how you and ur wife/tgf handle finances.

1. If you go out 10 times - Just say to a restaurant, movies ect on average how many times will you pay? How many times will your gf pay?

She will always pay.

But she's got my ATM card...

[tingtonggirl]

Thailand and a lot of Asian countries attract Western men because the roles of gender are probably 30-50 years behind that of the West. Western culture has become so occupied with "equality" in everything that the goalposts have moved off the field altogether. Now we have "Affirmative Action" and reverse discrimination being "normal", just to really tee off the traditionally productive and successful members of society.

Sorry, rant over!

I normally pay when we go out. The missus has a reasonably paid secretarial job and some money for herself and her family, but I am the major earner and it seems to work out well for us both.

I don't think so.

[a2396]

Seems to me that this question in Thai Visa Forum is not representitive of the general Farang population in Thailand.

Most of the posters on this Forum are married to high powered, high earning hi-so women, the others have girlfriends they met in top universities who have connections to the monied elite.

We even used to have a poster whose wife was having lunch with the deputy Prime Minister on a regular basis.

How can one expect truthful or accurate replies on an anonymous internet forum?

EXACTLY CORRECT!!!

[a2396]

WOW!! Where do I find one of these "my wife pays for everything" women?

[meemiathai]

Except the bras are hers and the men undies are mine, everything is ours. We don't really remember whose hands our money is leaving from.

[a2396]

I guess I come from the old school. I expect to be the breadwinner and I expect my wife NOT to have to work. I give my wife 20,000 baht per month. She pays all the utilities, food and household expenses. She does have money left over at the end of the month and that goes in her bank account. I pay for big ticket items and yearly insurance premiums. Works well for me.

I pay ALL the house/food expenses and give my lady 6000 bht freebie money, to spend as she wishes + another amount each month to her Mama. My lovely pisses & moans that she doesn't have enough money.

[pampal]

My gf pays for everything and she is happy to do so.

she has a very good business so there is no financial strain. I don't pay for anything including house,utilities,pocket money,leisure or anything else.

Most guys in Thailand foot the bill for their women, but I have everything paid for me.The only way to go.

[In the Rai!]

We both work, we both earn money and we both pay the bill. Its called marrage.

[kwamrakmaimeeraka]

My gf and I both have office jobs and our own income, but I would say that I do pay more often when we go out to a movie or whatever. Her mom pays for the house, I just pay the internet and electricity. Usually whoever has cash on them at the moment pays, unless of course we are with her older sister or her sister's bf. Then we never hardly pay

[Asiajonny]

Sorry in advance to many of the same thinkers but this is brilliant, I was just going to read and chuckle a bit but I couldn't help myself...... I am a young guy and I was sent to work here, I earn and I pay, it just depends whose wallet it comes out of that time but it all comes from the same place. Call it what you will, a 'cash cow' or whatever. My gf dosn't take the piss, I am happy to do it and after 8 years we have a great relationship..... Maybe I am wiered but I cant relate to a couple of these posts....

Some of these girls it seems having read a few of these replies, probably thought some of their worries were over. Instead they are stuck with the stereotypical free loading foreigners who would be doing bugger all at home in the west, spongeing off society, but that can be expensive so they come here and do bugger all instead. Why not come to thailand and be a loitering bum??? Its cheaper here and its awaight "eer in doors", 'the missus'' ,'the trubul and strife' as a gud job and pays for evryfink innit...... Going halfs over a couple of hundred baht cinema tickets, and a dinner???? <deleted>?????

There are some classics on this general forum........... Apologies for the rant as I said, I just couldn't resist.......!!!!!

Edited June 25, 2010 by Asiajonny

[IanForbes]

Everybody's circumstances are different, so the definitive answer is impossible.. I came from the old school where the man always paid. And, I still do because I usually have more than the women I'm with. The whole topic is actually silly because you can't put everyone in the same category, and stereotyping is basically a poor premise to start a debate.

However, if the REAL reason for the topic is to actually learn how couples manage their finances, then just be more specific. It is ridiculous to try and compare single people to those with young children, or some man with a high income and partner who stays home, to low income earning couples who are both working.

If I ask a woman out on a date then I am always expected to pay. I wouldn't think of not doing so... even if the woman had 10 times my income. If I get asked over to someones home for supper, I'll bring a bottle of wine, but I would expect everything else to be supplied.

When I was married I paid for everything, and anything my wife earned outside the home was her own. However, they usually paid for their personal items, such a shampoo, body lotions and hair care. Like others here, my salary was considered the family income which we shared equally. If I wanted other stuff (like fishing tackle, cameras, boats etc) it came out of my art sales and writing earnings. I never spent what I didn't have, and didn't buy things on credit unless I could pay everything off at the end of the month. I still operate that way and won't pay interest on anything if I don't have to.

[Semper]

Everybody's circumstances are different, so the definitive answer is impossible.. I came from the old school where the man always paid. And, I still do because I usually have more than the women I'm with. The whole topic is actually silly because you can't put everyone in the same category, and stereotyping is basically a poor premise to start a debate.

However, if the REAL reason for the topic is to actually learn how couples manage their finances, then just be more specific. It is ridiculous to try and compare single people to those with young children, or some man with a high income and partner who stays home, to low income earning couples who are both working.

If I ask a woman out on a date then I am always expected to pay. I wouldn't think of not doing so... even if the woman had 10 times my income. If I get asked over to someones home for supper, I'll bring a bottle of wine, but I would expect everything else to be supplied.

When I was married I paid for everything, and anything my wife earned outside the home was her own. However, they usually paid for their personal items, such a shampoo, body lotions and hair care. Like others here, my salary was considered the family income which we shared equally. If I wanted other stuff (like fishing tackle, cameras, boats etc) it came out of my art sales and writing earnings. I never spent what I didn't have, and didn't buy things on credit unless I could pay everything off at the end of the month. I still operate that way and won't pay interest on anything if I don't have to.

I always thought they were your daughters.

[Heng]

I always pay unless there is someone more important than me (father, grandfather, more successful uncle, aunt, etc.) at the table.

We break down finances (according to % of ownership) for business ventures and combine finances for some capital purchases though (mostly real estate).

[tijnebijn]

Sad question from the OP really .

How much do you pay for , I know it's common , but really read your own line , it does does sound pathetic doesn't it ?

[Seizetheday]

Sad question from the OP really .

How much do you pay for , I know it's common , but really read your own line , it does does sound pathetic doesn't it ?

I hope that your previous 2293 posts have been as informative as this one

[IanForbes]

I always thought they were your daughters.

Geez, the Asian women I'm with are not THAT old. :lol:

[BlackGrape]

100,000 baht a month. I live in Samoa and i will be very happy to see my wife next year.

[BlackGrape]

My gf and I both have office jobs and our own income, but I would say that I do pay more often when we go out to a movie or whatever. Her mom pays for the house, I just pay the internet and electricity. Usually whoever has cash on them at the moment pays, unless of course we are with her older sister or her sister's bf. Then we never hardly pay

Mate, I think a big congats is due for you. Obviously have a good balance in your life and a decent. Good on ye mate. I mean it..

[soundman]

Who-ever has money their pocket and/or who-ever calls to settle the account.

[Tonto21]

My wife doesn't have a paid job, her job is looking after the house and son etc.Iam the bread winner and pay, its the way I like it and Iam happy with it.

EPG.

Same here!

I see it as a partnership, the miss’s does most the house work, (not all, I look after the TV remote) and running of the house, I have a paying job……….So we both contribute, one way or another. I hand over cash as needed, just pin money, I’ve tried to give her a set amount every week, to save coming to me for 50B here, 25B there but, by her own admission she is so bad with money if I gave her 5000B or 50B on a morning, it would be gone by tea time! “Where’s it gone?”….She hasn’t go the foggiest!

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

What's mine is hers, what's hers is hers.

But seriously, we are married, both have money and there is never any talk of who shall pay - whoever pays that particular time pays that particular time.

I personally can't imagine being in a relationship where paying for things is even potentially a sticking point... I do know some couples who are quite ordered about who pays for what and when and they seem OK with it, so good for them, just never been a priority for me.

Cheers

[Tonto21]

Seems to me that this question in Thai Visa Forum is not representitive of the general Farang population in Thailand.

Most of the posters on this Forum are married to high powered, high earning hi-so women, the others have girlfriends they met in top universities who have connections to the monied elite.

We even used to have a poster whose wife was having lunch with the deputy Prime Minister on a regular basis.

How can one expect truthful or accurate replies on an anonymous internet forum?

I think you right Creeper!

From the replies I’ve read and the westerners I know and have meet living around Thailand, to be honest the answers to the topic I’m reading are not what I’d expected. It’s not that I don’t believe the answers given, after all, my answer fits in with the other replies.

IMHO you’re never going to get, but a few honest answers from anyone who is being bleed dry by his beloved. Let’s face it, who’s going to put himself, or herself up for possible ridicule……………”What on TV………..Never”