Eight Years Together - Is The End Near?

[ToddWeston]

"I don't buy this cultural difference stuff...and he basically adapted the Western way of thinking and attitude...."Anyone else see the obvious contradiction?Yes your partner had to come from his culture to yours to improve things. That's called cross-cultural adaptation. That's part of the reality of cultural differences. One or both of you have to make a move, culturally, for things to work. My contention is that the OP has not moved far from his Western, direct communication, say it like it is, confrontational, devil-may-care-whether-you-lose-face-or-not culture. The B/F is fed up with it.In addition to the probable need for some personal communication adjustments, I really like the last poster's advice:"My suggestion is give him some space, don't give up just yet let the affair run it's course and be there for him when it fails, you're in love and hopefully he's your best friend, the investment is worth it IMO." There's a time to try to save it, and there's a time to move on. Only you will know the difference.

Well I added "a lot" happy ? after 25 years it's not only my opinion but my husbands as well.

Why not focus on the common rather than the difference (if any)

[Fookhaht]

"Why not focus on the common rather than the difference (if any)"

That's the ideal, but sometimes the differences can be the deal-breaker. Especially if there is little adaptation from either side.

So happy things worked out for you, with 25 years in a relationship where there's been a lot of give-and-take, providing an admirable role model for the rest of us, especially in a typically promiscuous gay subculture.

[onni4me]

My suggestion is give him some space, don't give up just yet let the affair run it's course and be there for him when it fails, you're in love and hopefully he's your best friend, the investment is worth it IMO.

Yes, that is what I try to do. I hope that the affair is short-lived. This, despite some thinking me being very Western person or somehow culturally insensitive, has been some of the most difficult days in my life. I can't sleep, I can't get these thoughts out of my mind and I have a constant headache.

Not much to do, actually, when our loved ones suddenly turn to us and surprise us in this sort of a way. I was no way expecting all this. Maybe I have been too busy and not seen the signs earlier. I still don't see myself as the biggest culprit. It takes two to tango. Culture or not.

[ToddWeston]

My suggestion is give him some space, don't give up just yet let the affair run it's course and be there for him when it fails, you're in love and hopefully he's your best friend, the investment is worth it IMO.

Yes, that is what I try to do. I hope that the affair is short-lived. This, despite some thinking me being very Western person or somehow culturally insensitive, has been some of the most difficult days in my life. I can't sleep, I can't get these thoughts out of my mind and I have a constant headache.

Not much to do, actually, when our loved ones suddenly turn to us and surprise us in this sort of a way. I was no way expecting all this. Maybe I have been too busy and not seen the signs earlier. I still don't see myself as the biggest culprit. It takes two to tango. Culture or not.

Don't blame yourself, when these things happen the other person is usually pretty good at covering their tracks.

The stress must be unbelievable, perhaps a mild sleeping tablet is in order for a few nights to give your brain a break from working overtime, I know it all sounds good in theory but any diversion will most likely be beneficial. (Worst case visit the general news section and start commenting - that'll keep you busy for hours :) )

Take care of yourself and let time take its course or as the saying goes Keep Calm and Carry On.

[kaspercat]

Something like this happen to a close friend here too. He went out for 4years with a local. Got her car, job, company and preparing for house for her mom. Then after a few nasty fights about work, she started having an affair. Found out that she had fallen in love with another.

My friend try to win her back for nearly half a year. She keeps saying she loves him and the other. Since they have company together, he still provides for her.

To make a lone story short.... She still ask my friend to wait it out. She will move to Korn Kaen in Jan and if not work out, she will come back to my friend. But for now, he's so crazy about her. Drives everyone nuts. He say he will wait. Everyone say for what? It's over. She's bedding and moving away with another and he's still giving to her.

Difficult to say whose right and whose wrong. I guess time will tell. Just do what is in your own heart. Eventually the other one will corn back. But the damage is done and so great... Would the love be the same?

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[isanbirder]

No couple is like any other couple. A bit of a truism, I'm afraid.

Yes, cultural differences will have an effect, but it's not necessarily a bad effect. Financial differences, too.

I suppose what I am saying is that you shouldn't trust what other people say about relationships. Yours is unique,and you have to sort it out in accordance with your two characters, not with what people tell you.

I have had two long relationships, one of 19 years (it ended with his death from cancer) with a Chinese, one for 12 or 13 years (we don't exactly know!) with a Thai. So far so good.... but tomorrow is another day.

[kaspercat]

I think the bigger question to ask is if anyone been successful in a relationship the second time around. This is after the lover or spouse have left for another and then come back. I would imagine the damage inflicted and the affair of the other one have pushed the relationship past the salvage point.

Any success stories?

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[onni4me]

Difficult to say whose right and whose wrong. I guess time will tell. Just do what is in your own heart. Eventually the other one will corn back. But the damage is done and so great... Would the love be the same?

Maybe the love will be different or even stronger, who knows?

I have given one month to come up with some sort of an answer. I feel that whatever comes needs to be addressed honestly.

We people have an amazing talent to forget. It might take couple of years but finally we just do. I give him a chance.

[onthemoon]

Pardon me for coming in late to this thread and having another opinion.

I don't think that the OP did anything wrong. Cultural or otherwise. For two reasons:

1.) They have been together for 8 years. If he were culturally offensive, it would never have lasted that long.

2.) The BF confided in him, appeared to be genuinely confused, did not just run away, and offered that they sell the house and the OP can keep the money. This is not about money.

My feeling is that life happened. People fall out of love with someone, or they fall in love with somebody else unexpectedly. I feel sorry for the OP but have no idea how he could change his BF's feelings towards this other person. Being friendly and supportive would be my advice, but I know from experience that this is the most difficult way to be in this situation. Anyway, maybe it is just a fling and he will come back, so it's advisable not to act in an opposing way.

[LeCharivari]

"Gay life seems to be in some occasions very promiscuous." The studies and statistics tend to agree with you. Exacerbating that, the "try before you buy" prevalent mentality in developed countries, (that is, sex before commitment), seems to work against committed relationships, both in homosexual and heterosexual relationships. It's a minefield out there.

"The studies and statistics tend to agree with you."

Actually the studies and statistics tend to show the reverse - that gays in general are no more promiscuous than their straight counterparts, although there are a number that are so promiscuous (and so adamant that they are "representative" of gays generally) that they skew the results of poor studies.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/oct/19/gay-men-promiscuous-myth

http://timrfisher.tripod.com/dgstats.htm

No couple is like any other couple. A bit of a truism, I'm afraid.

Yes, cultural differences will have an effect, but it's not necessarily a bad effect. Financial differences, too.

I suppose what I am saying is that you shouldn't trust what other people say about relationships. Yours is unique,and you have to sort it out in accordance with your two characters, not with what people tell you.

I have had two long relationships, one of 19 years (it ended with his death from cancer) with a Chinese, one for 12 or 13 years (we don't exactly know!) with a Thai. So far so good.... but tomorrow is another day.

Agreed 100%, which is why I would not even try to give any "advice".

My "views", though, would be that :

Thais in my experience are no more and no less hot-blooded than anyone else, but they can be more "economical with the truth" than some westerners to avoid confrontations - although confrontation does come, they tend to be rather more mercurial with less in the way of "escalation".

You (onni4me) seem to be a little unclear of your intentions: "At this point I think pressing him with ultimatum would probably not be beneficial" is rather different from "I have given one month to come up with some sort of an answer." Honesty is of paramount importance in most long-term relationships, but so is consistency.

YOU are the only one who (hopefully) knows both yourself and your partner, and consequently the only one who can decide what YOU want to do - other people's experience, even if it seems similar to your own, may involve very different people and very different circumstances so any advice given here may inevitably be based on a misreading of the situation.

[Scott]

You might want to take a look at this site if you think gay men are not more promiscuous than heterosexuals:

http://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity

And that doesn't even get into the entire category of MSM. Drop by a gay sauna. Take a look at the phone number on the public toilet walls. Hang around some of the shopping malls. These aren't ladies looking for a good time.

I know a lot of people who are not able to be sexually exclusive, but I do know quite a few who are emotionally exclusive. The OP here has the horrible problem of not just having to deal with infidelity, but with an entire relationship.

[sustento]

You might want to take a look at this site if you think gay men are not more promiscuous than heterosexuals:

http://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity

Oh please! Are you REALLY serious? Why not quote the KKK in support of the NAACP????

CARM -

About The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

CARM is a 501©3, non-profit, Christian ministry dedicated to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ and the promotion and defense of the Christian Gospel,

FRC -

Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.

Exodusglobalalliance -

Welcome to Exodus Global AllianceProclaiming that faith in Christ and a transformed life is possible for the homosexual through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

[onni4me]

You (onni4me) seem to be a little unclear of your intentions: "At this point I think pressing him with ultimatum would probably not be beneficial" is rather different from "I have given one month to come up with some sort of an answer." Honesty is of paramount importance in most long-term relationships, but so is consistency.

Well, there has been a bit of communication between him and me in the meantime. I don't want to make an ultimatum like: "You do like I say or else..." so I don't want him to try to please me but choose himself (which makes me fell gutted, of course but I see no other option).

We talked and he asked some time to sort his feelings and clear his head and I suggested that it would be good if that could be done before New Year so maybe we could start from a clean slate. He agreed so he has to decide now what it will be. This is by no way easy on me, I am shifting from a mood to another.

What I can make of all this is that he is deeply sorry what he has been doing but is still emotionally confused what to do. According to him he hasn't told the third party about me so it might just be a fling. Also I see him being a bit unsecure of himself where he is standing in all this and somehow thought maybe he felt sort of empowered or had a boost of self-confidence from the affair.

Remains to be seen. I try to keep an open and positive mind even I would like to go out and scream...

[anon8]

Oh please! Are you REALLY serious? Why not quote the KKK in support of the NAACP????

 

CARM -  About The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

Refrencing that org is a fail, of course.

But there is no arguing how much easier it is for gay men find sex, and many gay men have sex as often as they want.

I think we are more promiscuous, then straight men, simply cos it takes us much less effort to find sex.

Straight guys have to work harder to get it. If they would have it as easy as we do, they would be just as promiscuous.

Sent from my C6802 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Scott]

An off-topic post has been deleted. The thread is about a problem posted by the OP. Stay on topic.

[LeCharivari]

onni4me, you asked for "friendly advice".

I am still reluctant to give any "advice" for the reasons I outlined in post # 40, as one person's view of being in a "relationship" or "together" or "with" somebody can be totally different from someone else's, but since yours is apparently not an "open" relationship what I would advise unreservedly is that real or imagined promiscuity in other gay relationships is NO excuse for it in your relationship, and just because some extremist anti-gay organisations use it in their gay-bashing agendas and some gays (and straights) accept it in their relationships does NOT mean that you should or that you should feel encouraged to minimise the significance of any infidelity.

If you and your partner's relationship was/is based on monogamy (as I think yours is, and as is mine and some others' here) and you accept infidelity then, in my view, you are effectively ending your relationship as it stood and possibly starting a new one - there is nothing wrong with "open" relationships, again in my view, IF that is what you and your partner want, but is that what the two of you want? Are you prepared to accept the occasional "fling"? You don't seem to be, and I think you are right to make that clear - that doesn't make it an "ultimatum" so much as an honest and open statement of how YOU feel, how YOU see your relationship and how YOU feel about him. Now its his turn to say how HE feels, how HE sees your relationship and how HE feels about you, but you chose when to make your views clear so its only fair that you let him choose when to do the same; putting a finite limit on it like "New Year" or "one month" is something you may regret, particularly as your time limit approaches.

..... You say you don't want to make an ultimatum like "...or else", but what happens when your time limit expires? Is the relationship automatically over? ..... at least he "told (you) about this other person" and you didn't just "discover" it . He also "asked (you) to give him time to sort his thoughts" - do you think he meant a finite amount of time, or he meant as much time as it takes? ..... how much time does he deserve and are you prepared to give after 8 years, or is it (and I may be overstepping the mark here, in which case I apologise) that you are as worried about him becoming "sort of empowered" and having "a boost of self-confidence" as you are about his "fling" and that is why you want to regain control by setting a time period? Maybe he's growing up, and its as much about his moving away from living with his mother as it is about his moving away from you and he's enjoying his new found freedom.

Difficult, as I say, to "advise" .....

Edited December 6, 2013 by LeCharivari

[Scott]

You might want to take a look at this site if you think gay men are not more promiscuous than heterosexuals:

http://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity

Oh please! Are you REALLY serious? Why not quote the KKK in support of the NAACP????

CARM -

About The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

CARM is a 501©3, non-profit, Christian ministry dedicated to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ and the promotion and defense of the Christian Gospel,

FRC -

Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.

Exodusglobalalliance -

Welcome to Exodus Global AllianceProclaiming that faith in Christ and a transformed life is possible for the homosexual through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

Read some of the other reports that are more balanced. Most report more promiscuity that with other groups. Whether it is statistically significant is sometimes questioned, but the number of sexual encounters are higher. Numerous studies also cite gay couples. Gays are not necessarily couples.

However, this discussion might be a better topic for a separate thread.

[Scott]

You might want to take a look at this site if you think gay men are not more promiscuous than heterosexuals:

http://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity

Oh please! Are you REALLY serious? Why not quote the KKK in support of the NAACP????

CARM -

About The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

CARM is a 501©3, non-profit, Christian ministry dedicated to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ and the promotion and defense of the Christian Gospel,

FRC -

Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.

Exodusglobalalliance -

Welcome to Exodus Global AllianceProclaiming that faith in Christ and a transformed life is possible for the homosexual through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

Read some of the other reports that are more balanced. Most report more promiscuity that with other groups. Whether it is statistically significant is sometimes questioned, but the number of sexual encounters are higher. Numerous studies also cite gay couples. Gays are not necessarily couples.

However, this discussion might be a better topic for a separate thread.

[LeCharivari]

You might want to take a look at this site if you think gay men are not more promiscuous than heterosexuals:

http://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity

Oh please! Are you REALLY serious? Why not quote the KKK in support of the NAACP????

CARM -

About The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

CARM is a 501©3, non-profit, Christian ministry dedicated to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ and the promotion and defense of the Christian Gospel,

FRC -

Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.

Exodusglobalalliance -

Welcome to Exodus Global AllianceProclaiming that faith in Christ and a transformed life is possible for the homosexual through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

Read some of the other reports that are more balanced. Most report more promiscuity that with other groups. Whether it is statistically significant is sometimes questioned, but the number of sexual encounters are higher. Numerous studies also cite gay couples. Gays are not necessarily couples.

However, this discussion might be a better topic for a separate thread.

IF this is now to be continued here, maybe you could provide links to those "other reports", as "most" that I am aware of (and am happy to link to) report the complete opposite.

IF it is not and is worth continuing elsewhere, I will be quite happy to start a separate thread on the subject and to dispel some of these unsupported myths, beloved though they may be by both extremist anti-gay organisations who use it in their gay-bashing agendas (such as carm) and by promiscuous gays who want to be seen as representative of other gays and "normal" in their sexual behaviour, when they are neither.

[onni4me]

Well, what comes to promiscuity I think it relates to being aware of ones looks and seeking for that dream guy...

My bf certainly ain't bad looking by any means. He goes to gym, doesn't drink. doesn't smoke, eats healthy and gets looks from many gay guys.

I actually think that many Thais get ideas from the magazines, media and Thai soap operas and somehow get all confused about what is real and what their true responsibilities are. Dreaming the pie in the sky and trying to eat it as well. This combined with less than remarkable schooling system that anyone can get a pass without much trying contributes a lot to the society here, contributes to the lack of responsibility, future planning and not really paying attention to what your family or close ones need. Some Thai families are very very dysfunctional. So was my bf's as well, father left the family in early stage and never contributed in any ways.

It is so easy to give into illusions and dreams when the other alternative is to struggle and plan long-term. I have now been talking to him more than in couple of months in all and we seem to get to some sort of stage that i understand why this happened. It is that maybe I didn't get involved with his worries and didn't "take care" enough. This evening we will have another talk where to go from all this and hopefully it will resolve the feelings to some sort of conclusion.

I just like to point out that sex is not the biggest problem here. He has developed feelings towards another guy and that is much bigger problem. Personally, I don't see sex as such big of a deal. There has in my knowledge never been a shortage of it in the LOS. These personal feelings are hell of a lot more difficult to overcome but I keep my hopes up.

[Scott]

My thoughts are with you. It is very difficult to have your partner become emotionally involved with someone else. Like you, sex is less important, but when they start having an emotional affair as well, it gets very difficult.

Keep us posted as to how this goes for you. I think there are lessons for everyone to learn.

[anon8]

sex is less important, but when they start having an emotional affair as well, it gets very difficult.  

 

  

Exactly!

My guy was straight, I knew this from get go.

He had sex with women, karaoke places, and he payed 500 like every local does, if he is simply after short time thing. I often gave him money for that, afterall he was straight, if I had forbidden him having sex w girls, it would have been unfair to him.

I never saw, still dont see girls as competition, or even cheating. They have something I dont.

As long as my guy comes home at night, doesnt spend a night w a girl, it is allright w me.

But. If he falls in love w a girl, and his heart belongs to somr girl, its over.

I would never have tolerated him being w another man.

I dont know if this makes sense to you guys.

[Scott]

A post with a link to another forum has been deleted. This is against forum rules.

[LeCharivari]

(edited)

I just like to point out that sex is not the biggest problem here. He has developed feelings towards another guy and that is much bigger problem. Personally, I don't see sex as such big of a deal. There has in my knowledge never been a shortage of it in the LOS. These personal feelings are hell of a lot more difficult to overcome but I keep my hopes up.

I'm not sure if you're saying that you were both already having casual sex with others or not, but if so I think that you've been tempting providence and its only been a matter of time until he found someone else who was not only better sex but better company as well and who may be taking him more seriously. Its all part of the whole and you can't separate and ignore any one aspect , and sex plays a part just as anything else does.

These "relationships" where partners can have sex with anyone else but its relatively unimportant as long as nobody develops any "personal feelings" aren't "relationships" but just "habits", rather like having a maid doing the laundry on Wednesdays or meeting a friend for a game of snooker every Friday evening. A "relationship" is all encompassing otherwise its just a habit and at the most a friendship, and its a bit like putting on an old jacket because its comfortable and not noticing that its falling apart until its too late.

In my view there is NO excuse for infidelity in a gay relationship anymore than there is in a straight one. The only possible justification is if there is some physical reason why one partner cannot satisfy the other's physical needs (and I emphasize needs, not lusts) for a medical reason or infirmity, and that does not appear to apply here. Others may disagree and be more "open" in their views and their relationships than I am, and if they and their partners are happy with that "openness" then I have no problem with that at all, but as the objective studies show the vast majority of gays are not promiscuous despite what the "pro-traditional sexual practice" homophobes and a small minority of gays who are maintain, and your sort of "open relationship" is NOT the "gay norm".

If you don't take your relationship or your partner seriously, in all aspects, you are risking someone else coming along who does and that now seems to be what happened here. Maybe you (and anyone else in a similar "relationship") will learn the lesson from your experience and apply it.

..... just my personal view , and my "friendly advice" - I don't think unctuous sympathy serves any point, as in my view you've brought this on yourself and you need to do something about it if you are to save the situation.

[onni4me]

I'm not sure if you're saying that you were both already having casual sex with others or not, but if so I think that you've been tempting providence and its only been a matter of time until he found someone else who was not only better sex but better company as well and who may be taking him more seriously. Its all part of the whole and you can't separate and ignore any one aspect , and sex plays a part just as anything else does.

No, I am not saying that we both did have casual sex with others. What I was trying to say is that if it would have been just a sexual encounter never to be repeated again, it would be easier to put behind and try to save our relationship. When infatuation or love is involved, it makes things worse - from my point of view, anyway.

Since he is Thai and possibly pretty ashamed of his confusing feelings, it has been quite difficult to get to the bottom of things. However, bit by bit I have finally got the trurh out of him. Maybe he was scared that I go mad and get violent (which I never have, angry yes but never physical) so I got confession in parts. Now I believe there is no more secrets between us. Things unraveled so far:

1. He met the guy and was besotted by his speaking, wealth, position, profession and the nice way he made him feel important and valuable at the same time building whole lot of pies in the sky. Good salesman I must give credit. The guy is a businessman so he is now selling ideas to invest and take loan through "trusted friends". He even suggested he would move into a condo he owns (it gets serious in Thailand when you agree to have a mutual place = long term).

2. They had sex. Only once - or so I am told. This makes me uncomfortably sad but could be overlooked if it really stays that way and doesn't continue.

3. They have developed feelings through him talking nice and filling my partners head with all sort of BS. Only Thais can manage in this way with another Thai. If I say something to his arguments, he says I don't really understand what they are talking about and actually I believe I do. I have university education and I know a lot about Buddhism among other things. Also, I was - and in a small way still am - running a business so the pink eye glasses have worn out quite a long time ago. I try warn him not to put anything on trust, only in paper. How many Thais that I have been dealing with have tried to pull a fast one. I think I got him talking not saying 'I know better than you...' rather speaking softly saying 'I believe that...'. Forcing your own thinking at this point is like throwing gasoline into a fire. So slow approach is needed.

4. We had very emotional evening feelings ranging from anger to tears. But eventually we talked things over and came to an agreement. I said that he can take time to decide what he really wants. I said that I don't believe the guy to really love him. The guy is wealthy, in good position and I just can't see him taking a lover (my bf) 7 years older to support him. Not to mention that if things get to that point, he has his mother and our adopted daughter to think about. Would a Thai guy support someone else's family to that point? I wonder...them suddenly living together is not an image I see as going very far.

5. Morning we much back to normal and awful a lot of emotional stress was gone. I don't know if it's normal but I have had headache all this time combined with waking up several times a night. I haven't been eating well and am experiencing stress levels not seen for many many years. Now I am hopeful that the first excitement will wear off and reality seeps in. Now, when I am fully aware what has been going on, the excitement factor will diminish soon and reality will step in. Hopefully so.

So, at the moment I fill my days with routines and hope that my guy will eventually realize how much I love him and return to me. If not, I hope him the very best. That is life. Broken hearts or not, we must continue.

I will keep you guys posted if there are any changes. Maybe not the most professional place to open up but didn't want to turn to family before it really is the time to do so. So thanks for any opinions and advice. It helps to talk - or write one's tangled thoughts. We will take a day off with my bf this week and go away to surroundings that don't remind us about our problems. I hope this little distance to things will make things a bit more easy to go on.

[Scott]

My thoughts are with you. It's a horrible ordeal to go through. Keep us posted.

[onni4me]

Yes, it indeed is.

I have mood swings from wanting to buy an air ticket and run away to thinking that I should just be patient. It doesn't help that there are only a couple friends that I can talk to and don't really want to pour the whole load on them since they both know us.

I was never really thought to deal with my emotions and/or talk about my feelings. When I was young, the attitude was something like 'Never say you sorry and never forgive'. Part of culture of living in the very North of Europe, I guess. Climate in my native country is far from pleasant during the winter months and that has given us the very black and white mentality. Something either is or isn't. So, you must forgive me if I don't always feel like going whatever 'Thai culture' demands. I have tried in my own way to take care and invested time and money to make it work and I have no real regrets.

The emotional burden is enormous. I believe that only people been through this sort of experience can truly understand what I am experiencing.

Anyway, what will be will be. Que sera, sera.

In the meantime we all can listen Doris Day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZbKHDPPrrc

Edited December 9, 2013 by onni4me

[anon8]

Yes, it is the worst thing to go through.

It sounds allmost silly, you have to be strong now. Nothing worse than depression, very difficult to come out of it.

Sent from my C6802 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[ToddWeston]

Best of luck, I hope everything works out, in the meantime take care of yourself.

[onthemoon]

You might want to take a look at this site if you think gay men are not more promiscuous than heterosexuals:

http://carm.org/statistics-homosexual-promiscuity

Oh please! Are you REALLY serious? Why not quote the KKK in support of the NAACP????

CARM -

About The Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

CARM is a 501©3, non-profit, Christian ministry dedicated to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ and the promotion and defense of the Christian Gospel,

FRC -

Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.Family Research Council's mission is to advance faith, family and freedom in public policy and the culture from a Christian worldview.

Exodusglobalalliance -

Welcome to Exodus Global AllianceProclaiming that faith in Christ and a transformed life is possible for the homosexual through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

Read some of the other reports that are more balanced. Most report more promiscuity that with other groups. Whether it is statistically significant is sometimes questioned, but the number of sexual encounters are higher. Numerous studies also cite gay couples. Gays are not necessarily couples.

However, this discussion might be a better topic for a separate thread.

IF this is now to be continued here, maybe you could provide links to those "other reports", as "most" that I am aware of (and am happy to link to) report the complete opposite.

IF it is not and is worth continuing elsewhere, I will be quite happy to start a separate thread on the subject and to dispel some of these unsupported myths, beloved though they may be by both extremist anti-gay organisations who use it in their gay-bashing agendas (such as carm) and by promiscuous gays who want to be seen as representative of other gays and "normal" in their sexual behaviour, when they are neither.

I think it is worth opening a separate thread for this. Please do.