Dilema

[Jai Yen Yen]

My advice: read the posts of "Guesthouse" several times until they sink in. If you want visa advice, send me an email. Good luck!

[nagasaki]

This is a great thread, as I am in a similar position, and I think a great many people who just view this board, rather than contribute will also find it of value

am slighly younger 43, from UK visited Thailand 2 years ago and thought wow, at current rate i could have about £230k in cash (not all at moment, but a lump sum, with more later). I have no dependants and will be quite happy when i pop my clogs if theres nothing left.

however i have visited Thailnd 4 times in last 2 years, and to be honest its getting a bit 'samey', I was beggining to get slightly bored there especially in the evenings, when I last left a couple of weeks ago, I had a slight pang, but nothing compared to how i felt fisrt time I left

my advice would be like so many others, visit it a few times, and perhaps spend a few months there, i am considering doing that next winter, would like a lifestyle where i could winter in Thailand and summer in UK. Also investing any real money there is something I dont think i will ever do, seems to me far more sensible to rent, rather than bury, and the idea of buying a business is a no-no

[astral]

You do not say how much your pension is, but remember the Immigration expects you to have 80,000 baht a month to qualify for a retirement visa.

I agree with the people who say come and try it for 3 months.

The life here is not for everyone.

Keep your cottage and rent it out.

It is an additional source of income and gives you a bolt-hole if life here

does go pear shaped at some stage.

[monsieurhappy]

You do not say how much your pension is, but remember the Immigration expects you to have 80,000 baht a month to qualify for a retirement visa.

Is this a misquote or have they put the amount up from 65,000 baht per month??

[Thaiquila]

The retirement visa requirement is 800,000 baht in a Thai bank account OR a pension of 800,000 baht per year, OR a combination of both totalling 800,000 baht (for example, bank account 200K, pension 600K).

I know what you mean about SAMENESS, that does tend to happen, certainly. However, wouldn't this happen ANYPLACE in the world? We get familiar, we get accustomed, we get bored. Sounds like home.

[oopapasan]

Had a look to try and find like minded threads, but only people from other countries discussing finances.

What I feel I need is what are the pitfalls and common mistakes. ( some threads maybe)

Thanks

HONEST??? I thought I was set for life after my second marriage. No difference accross countries of the world. Women want; and will leave; if THEY are not happy. Men just take it in the nuts. ( DO SOUND BITTER?)

Last time I was in my thirties and knew deep down life would get better and I would get another chance. This time at my age in the UK there is nothing for someone who is over 50 nothing at all.

Anything is better than a UK woman.

[ourmanflint]

John...

You've just been handed an incredible second chance at life, whether you wanted it or not, now.... don't just think that because you've heard many great stories about Thailand and it's very friendly bars, that this is where you should go!! It might be for you , then again it might not... I'm moving there in a few weeks as well, but I am in no doubt that there are other choices all nearby.

For Brits, Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, has a fantastic, strong and varied expat community, not at all like Thailand, where everything it seems revolves around the "bar scene" ( a bit of a generalisation I know it! ), it has great weather, there are no language problems to speak of, and is just as cheap. What about Bali??? Now there is a real gem for someone in your position, with enough money to build or buy... a wonderful and unique island, again the language is not so much of a problem and is easier to learn than Thai.

All I'm saying is go to Thailand have a look see, then go elsewhere, explore Asia, it's a big place... and I'm sure after a while you will know where is better for you.

[john1000]

Thanks for all the advice.

Firstly, my interest was stimulated by a friend who visits every six weeks who is in a good position to do this as he is single, and works 3 monts of the year having a couple of properties rented out.

I am NOT in the same position, my work in IT provides 35k PA and I am bored.... my friends are mostly settled, and all I seem to get when trying to kickstart my life here, is sad dating agencies full of women I don't fancy with baggage.

I am well travelled but not in Asia. So my choices are simple I think.

1. Compromise in life with someone new and never be truly satisfied.

2. Be a sad old git and drink and dream of how things used to be.

3. Top myself.

4. Try something new

Maybe I have no choice. My pension will have penalties if taken early, additionally I could rent what I have left after the divorce ( she is going for the throat) so will need to perform some calculations.

This is a watershed for which I have not planned.

[Ted]

Come on GuestHouse that is a huge generalisation that you need to be'extremely fortunate' to meet girls out of the bar scene! Just swap the Same Same singlet and Diesel shorts and you'll see...

Perhaps is a generalization, but I suspect less so when the foreigner is a guy in his 50s, straight from the divorce courts and on his first trip to Thailand.

And to be precise I said the bar scene and what the Japanese call the 'Water Trade" ...[Mizu Shobai]

I don't have a same same singlet and I own nothing from Diesel.

I was joking GuestHouse

[Mobi]

Thanks for all the advice.

Firstly, my interest was stimulated by a friend who visits every six weeks who is in a good position to do this as he is single, and works 3 monts of the year having a couple of properties rented out.

I am NOT in the same position, my work in IT provides 35k PA and I am bored.... my friends are mostly settled, and all I seem to get when trying to kickstart my life here, is sad dating agencies full of women I don't fancy with baggage.

I am well travelled but not in Asia. So my choices are simple I think.

1. Compromise in life with someone new and never be truly satisfied.

2. Be a sad old git and drink and dream of how things used to be.

3. Top myself.

4. Try something new

Maybe I have no choice. My pension will have penalties if taken early, additionally I could rent what I have left after the divorce ( she is going for the throat) so will need to perform some calculations.

This is a watershed for which I have not planned.

You've absolutely gotta do it, but as you're not exactly overloaded with dosh, you've got play it a bit canny. You certainly don't want to end up with option 3 in Pattaya, when the money dries up.

Just a thought. You're in the IT busines which is absolutely crawling with contract workers. I know you want to get the heck out of it, but maybe you should consider a shortish break in Thailand, then back home for a contract job for a few months - then back over here for another looksie. You could conserve your dosh - maybe even add to it, and start the retirement process moving. You might even end up working for part of the year and spending part in Thailand. Many do that very happily.

Full retirement could come when you're nearer to 60. And you never know, you might meet someone along the line that could accompany you on your trips back home. But please be careful.

Edited May 11, 2006 by Mobi D'Ark

[Thaiquila]

When I looked into it casually, Indonesia BALI didn't seem to be a practical choice in any way for a retired foreigner, visa-wise.

Malaysia on the other hand, seems friendlier and much more straightforward than Thailand; I guess they have to be because they are less popular. Why is that? Less feeling of everyday sanuk, I think.

[Nignoy]

When I looked into it casually, Indonesia BALI didn't seem to be a practical choice in any way for a retired foreigner, visa-wise.

Malaysia on the other hand, seems friendlier and much more straightforward than Thailand; I guess they have to be because they are less popular. Why is that? Less feeling of everyday sanuk, I think.

Malaysia has a great system in place , for Europeans who want to retire there,It used to be called The silver hair program, takes 4 weeks to get the first 5 year visa , but it takes you 20 years to recover from the shock of the cost and the conditions that apply!! Richard Branson could probably afford to retire there Nignoy

[udon]

so choose very carefully - the big demands usually come some way down the line in the relationship.

How true!

[john1000]

Maybe better to start in a place called udon thani?? Have heard this is more rural and not so many bar girls.

Anyone have experience there?

[samran]

Twi Comments:

) John, mate you seem like you are rushing into all this. Take it easy, there is no rush to be in Thailand now. It will always be here. Thailand is no place to be poor or semi-preparered for all the things that can go wrong in life

2)

One of my pet peeves is that too many assume that every farang who enters Thailand is an idiot.

Maybe they aren't idiots back home, but they tend to forget pack their brain before they leave.

[Mobi]

Maybe better to start in a place called udon thani?? Have heard this is more rural and not so many bar girls.

Anyone have experience there?

I'm sorry guys - I've said it before and I'll say it again.

This guy is a troll.

Deny it john1000.

[bkkmadness]

Maybe better to start in a place called udon thani?? Have heard this is more rural and not so many bar girls.

Anyone have experience there?

Maybe Udon Thani is a little too rural for you if you are not well travelled in Thailand?

Anyway, there's some good info on this site if you need some more info on that area:

Udon Map

[john1000]

"I'm sorry guys - I've said it before and I'll say it again.

This guy is a troll"

Whats a troll?? I have come on here to ask serious questions about my future, and found people very helpful. ( except you ) If you cannot be constructive, flame someone else if your bored.

[john1000]

The reason Udon Thani is on my mind, is that this maybe a place where street bars and drunk Farangs are not in your face, and my mate says transport links are good to other places.

Also accommodation may be chaeaper. If I did strike lucky and find someone maybe a better disposition as she would be from a rural area.

I am not so much in a hurry, but really need something to focus on. IE look forward to.

[elGrande]

Thanks I will get this book.

So most Thai women are out for financial again and have no scruples??

For sure less than 100% of Thai women are out for financial gain and have no scruples but certainly more than 99% are. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to find that 0.1% ... consider it mission impossible and go for it.

[Dakhar]

When I met my wife she was in the US. I had no money to speak of, I was more in debt than anything. She was just starting her graduate work, and I had just finished mine. Folks warned me then she just wanted a way to stay in the states, and she wanted my money.

Well, at the time, I had no money, and at the time she said she did not want to live in the states in the first place.

We got married despite all the warnings. I worked, earned good money, she and I saved our money earnestly, and now after 6 years of marriage we are now in Thailand. We have enough money to easily "survive" off of left in the states, and I have a good paying job here in Thailand.

The point is

She did not want to marry me for the money... I had none at the time & she did not marry me in order to stay in the states.

So not all Thai women see farangs as an ATM machine and a bridge to the "good life."

I wish the OP luck. I think he is being a little rash, making such choices due to a divorce. If you think she got a lot out of you.... I promise you a Thai woman will have the ability to take it ALL, not just half.

Good luck

[BKKstan]

Yes I expect you have heard this before, but I am 52 years young and just going through a painful divorce whch may cost me dear, and wish to build a new life in Thailand.

However I have a pension due and some cash wil become available from the sale of my cottage ( £200,00) but really do not know where to start.

I have a friend who visits frequently, but maybe for all the wrong reasons.... his choice.

Somewhere quiet where I could meet an honest?? girl and start over.

This may be the story of many but would appreciate any threads that would illustrate obvious pitfalls.

Thanks

If you are not a troll,you are incredibly naive to think that Thailand is the place to find an honest woman.Your only place of reference is a friend who visits Thailand for the sex.He is only a ''tourist'' and knows not much more than you about ''living''here!You have not worked out your divorce yet and you are thinking about moving here??You ask for advice from strangers?You should browse through the forums because you will find all your answers.And like most,will not take heed!

[Mobi]

Well I still reckon you are a troll - I can smell them a mile off.

Now let's look at some of his posts:

"So most Thai women are out for financial again and have no scruples??"

Come on, he says he wants to retire over here, and he knows nothing about Thailand and Thai girls? Not even from his so-called mate who visits every 3 months? A bit too innocent to be true.

"do ex pats stick together and have a close community? are there pitfalls here?"

What sort of bullshit question is this?

"Why do you need dosh to make friends? and what scenario should I be aware of?"

And this...?

"Yes Yes I know there are pitfalls and people here are saying " see what happens" Keep your eyes open, do your research, but " what " exactly di I look out for?"

and this...?

"...but have no idea of specifics in Thailand....

So my choices are simple I think....

3. Top myself."

Come on.. the guy's asking about retiring and then he casually drops in an option of topping himself. I wonder where he got that idea from...?

"Maybe better to start in a place called udon thani?? Have heard this is more rural and not so many bar girls."

His mate comes here every 3 months - "maybe for the wrong reasons" The question doesn't hang together - if his mate's told him about Udon Thani, why does he ask us in such a naive way? The whole manner of the question sounds like a wind up to me.

"Whats a troll?? I have come on here to ask serious questions about my future, and found people very helpful. ( except you ) If you cannot be constructive, flame someone else if your bored"

He asks what a troll is, but he is familar with the term 'flame'??

"The reason Udon Thani is on my mind, is that this maybe a place where street bars and drunk Farangs are not in your face, and my mate says transport links are good to other places."

He knows nothing about Thailand but uses the term 'farang'

If I'm wrong, I'll offer an unreserved apolgy and buy John1000 a meal, if he ever comes to Pattaya.

BTW I did offer some helpful advice.

Edited May 12, 2006 by Mobi D'Ark

[taxexile]

john 1000 , you sound depressed after your divorce.

you need a couple of years to settle your mind a bit before coming out to a place like this.

its a graveyard for someone in your present situation.

come out for a holiday by all means , but spend some of that time travelling around the country , dont bury yourself in the bars , they can easily become destructively addictive.

there are plenty of decent moral women here , but you will need a lot of time here before you can distinguish who's who and who you can trust.

dont burn your bridges yet.

[john1000]

Maybe better to start in a place called udon thani?? Have heard this is more rural and not so many bar girls.

Anyone have experience there?

I'm sorry guys - I've said it before and I'll say it again.

This guy is a troll.

Deny it john1000.

As I have said I am genuine and found others on this board have been very helpful .and don't give a stuff what YOU think. Go and play somewhere else as Do you understand?? GO AWAY!!!

[john1000]

john 1000 , you sound depressed after your divorce.

you need a couple of years to settle your mind a bit before coming out to a place like this.

its a graveyard for someone in your present situation.

come out for a holiday by all means , but spend some of that time travelling around the country , dont bury yourself in the bars , they can easily become destructively addictive.

there are plenty of decent moral women here , but you will need a lot of time here before you can distinguish who's who and who you can trust.

dont burn your bridges yet.

Understand what you are saying, but how long do we have... Yes I am depressed but also I am trying hard to see this as an oportunity to change my life. My friend has been here about a dozen times and likes it, but not the bars. He thinks like me the alternative in the UK does not bear thinking about.

Also UK women are as materialistic as TG. So people HERE are saying caution, but they are living in LOS!!

[phibunmike]

My main problem will be lack of friends and family, so would have to build up from scratch... do ex pats stick together and have a close community? are there pitfalls here?

You will get very sound advice in here, from a lot of decent blokes who have been here longer than me. But my couple of cents would be:

1. Don't rush into a relationship with the first girl that makes your heart (and other bits) flutter. Wait, calm down, you are not old and on the shelf, there are lots of opportunities for you. Try other places in S.E. Asia too, not only Thailand. Make sure you like the place, not just the girl.

2. When you do meet someone, don't read too much of the Stickman-like comments (no offence to Mr. Stickman), have confidence in yourself and if you know you can trust her, then trust her - most of the writing about negative points with Thai girls are written by people who have been hurt and are hunched over the computer, venting. The happy ones are sitting with their wife, enjoying a glass of wine as they watch the sun set over the rice paddy. As with many things, there is a very vocal group who have bad experiences, but who are not necessarily the majority. You will probably find most posters here are happy with their better half. No, not all Thai girls are after your money.

3. Read the book "Thailand Fever" (you can buy it in Bangkok Airport), and try to keep in mind that "our" way of doing everything is not the only way, or the right way, it's just one way.

Good luck.

P.S. I am happy with my wife, the reason I am hunched over the computer is that I am away on business without her

Edited May 12, 2006 by phibunmike

[john1000]

Well all I have to say is thanks for all the advice. I have a bitter battle coming up soon in the courts, from my wife who contributed nothing, but after eight years is trying to get as much as possible. Also for step daughter who I only knew for nine yeays. ( She is 15 )

So I will have time to reflect. I have been single in the past, but with now two marriages bust, I can't be any good at them, hence my yearning for a change.

I suppose if marriage went pear shaped in Thailand, would the TG have access to UK investments?

Not being paranoid but a thought.

[GuestHouse]

I have a bitter battle coming up soon in the courts, from my wife who contributed nothing, but after eight years is trying to get as much as possible

Get your head around the fact that she'll get 70% regardless of what your opinion is. Don't fight the battles you can't win - use your head and go for protecting your pension and retirement.

Let her have what she wants and keep what you need.

No need to be personal about things you have no control over.

[Dakhar]

I do feel your pain. I can't understand how the courts allow for such huge hand outs.

Sorry.... but like they said, you can't change it, just role with it.

It seems odd that a person that will loose so much do to a female (twice now) would want to up-root and head to another country for the sole goal of finding another female.

To me it would be like happily seaching for another malignant mass somewhere.