The " Extended family " how far does the money tree go ?

[elliottm]

Yes, the nephews and nieces are very important.

My wife makes a point of paying them at least 1,000 each from her New Year bonus (there are 8).

Similarly, small amounts are imparted during the year, especially if you do not see them often, this will also extend to treats for 2nd cousins etc in the family.

Please note this will be practised by the brothers/sisters across the family (regardless of relative incomes), bit like keeping face/merit and showing love as if your own.

[A1Str8]

As far as their imagination can possibly go really.

[Dublin]

For the wife an I family only, daughters Mother Father and sister, however they only ever borrow and thus far always pay back.

Anyone else looking for cash Aunts, uncles, cousins, either borrow with an agreed interest rate and pay back date, and if a large sum they give us something of value. If they are not looking for a loan but just want cash they are offered work around the house which is normally what they choose other wise Doris will just say sorry don't have it,

Doris is the ultimate cheap Charlie so nobody gets nothing for nothing which sometimes back fires on me when I'm looking to change my bike then its time for the quarterly re-program to get her back in line.... Most of you I'm sure know how that goes,,,

[robertson468]

Just for the novelty, I am currently supporting my Brit Daughter's Son (My Grandson) as he has just arrived here to work in Thailand. In a couple of months or so he should be financially on his own feet, but pro tem, I am very happy to subsidise his start-up. So not only in Thailand huh?

[Zpete]

Dont marry some poor Isaan girl who's familly grows rice ,then it goes as far as your wife and children ,sorry if this seems harsh but its the truth and sometimes it hurts.

Don't foget wifey's, mama's sick buffalo'

[HardenedSoul]

Yeah....you're right ....but in Thailand its "dimes on a dollar".....a lot cheaper as I pointed out earlier

But your right women are women....dump us men once we're no good to them anymore....

Same all over the world....

for me now though ....met a great Thai women ...and I'm happy....been so for 10 years...so nothing to complain about...

Yeah and I guess men don't dump women once they get old and their tits get saggy?

[kangeroo]

My partner of nearly 10 years not married does not ask for money anymore but every shopping trolley has a extra item for nephew or sister real or not real but I can put up with that ,but I have to laugh because in the Thai kitchen of her uncles house I think there are about 20 different Teflon frypans of all sizes and a dozen boxes of knives and plates .

Cheers

[hhiser]

Nowhere I have no money to flow.

[saroq]

As far as you let it go!

As stated it's your dollar, you decide. If your wife complains then tell her she is entitled to give her brothers and sisters as much of HER money as she wants.

[amykat]

Its funny about Thai women and money....WHY you ask? because when I was married in the West...my "wives" (yes I was married a few times before) would ask me for shopping money (always no less than $100 or the credit card).....Here in Thailand my wife doesn't ask I just give her 500-1000 baht and she squeals with delight.... I Love Thailand! alt=thumbsup.gif width=25 height=19>

Yeah....you're right ....but in Thailand its "dimes on a dollar".....a lot cheaper as I pointed out earlier

But your right women are women....dump us men once we're no good to them anymore....

Same all over the world....

for me now though ....met a great Thai women ...and I'm happy....been so for 10 years...so nothing to complain about...

Yeah and I guess men don't dump women once they get old and their tits get saggy?

Beachproperty ....Wow, really ...your wives had to ASK you to spend UP to $100 in the west?? That seems a bit extreme unless you are talking about 1970 or before? Grocery store costs at least this much each week, pet store, easily, book and music store, a nice dinner, a good lunch for few freinds, a night out on the town, bar, club, parking, all of these common things can cost that much, and one can spend $100 a day on common expenses, gas, lunch, stop at the pharmacy, buy a magazine, a hair clip, whatever!

I sort of thought that Western people, in couples, ASKED to spend on things like new furniture, new car, huge new clothing purchase, new watch, jewelry, artwork, vacations, things like this?

And WOMEN don't all act the same, and do not all dump men when they "are no good to them anymore" but I guess your experiences might make you think that ...I am just assuming you have had bad experiences. I have also had bad experiences but realize it has more to do with me, as in what I chose, than ALL men ...obviously if you and I were together, we both could not exploit each other, under normal circumstances ..one would do better than the other.

Anyway, thanks Hardened Soul for pointing out the other obvious point to be made here!

[oogster8]

Dont marry some poor Isaan girl who's familly grows rice ,then it goes as far as your wife and children ,sorry if this seems harsh but its the truth and sometimes it hurts.

isnt this the only kind of girls available for the farang to marry? always exceptions-too bad i never see them in public.........................lol.

[welsh1]

I give 100,000 a month to each of them, all 37.

Cheap Charlie

[Kudel]

would you support them if you married your own kind in your home country ?

same same answer should apply...

buffalo ATM

the day you run out of money, if the day you are useless to all of them and will be replaced in a snap

@ belg i assume you come from Belgium like me judging by the name on your avatar.When married in Belgium if the husband or the wife has a parent or parents in an old folks home and the parents dont have sufficient funds to pay the bills for the old folks home the goverment will force the children to help pay for said bills they will even go so far as to confiscate money from bank accounts as to take a second mortgage on the childrens property and even running away to a foreign country and having youre income or pension paid from Belgium will not help you for one bit.Talk about sick buffalos.

[Hardened Spanker]

Yeah....you're right ....but in Thailand its "dimes on a dollar".....a lot cheaper as I pointed out earlier

But your right women are women....dump us men once we're no good to them anymore....

Same all over the world....

for me now though ....met a great Thai women ...and I'm happy....been so for 10 years...so nothing to complain about...

Yeah and I guess men don't dump women once they get old and their tits get saggy?

Let's be honest here,apart from youth and beauty most Thai girls have very little else to offer!

If the relationship is based on you having money and them having said youth and beauty,once they break their side of the contract by ageing surely it's time to trade them in for a younger model?

[ableguy]

10 Yen,

your statements ie: "I expected the usual replies", "Nobody gives money" and "Reality is probably different", said a lot that, you are used as the family ATM, and do not believe that us expats, that do not give money, you believe that is a requirement to be married to a Thai lady in Thailand. You need to take a long look at your relationship if your wife expects you to support her family. tell her "no" if she leaves, you are being used as an ATM, If she does not leave then your problem is solved!

I am not saying those expats that willingly help the family are wrong, but when you are expected to give money to her extended family, that is where I would have drawn the line.

All of my wife's family have jobs and are very hard working, many of them are rice farmers, that are having a very hard time because the government has not paid the rice scheme funds and their money is held up at the bank. They have borrowed money from the rest of the family until their money is released by the banks, I feel kind of slighted that they have not asked me to lend some money, which in this situation, within reason, i would lend it if asked!

I have never supported any of my wife's relatives, just the wife and two step daughters, I love my MIL and FIL, they have never asked me for money in the 10 years I have been married (I was not asked for sin sot), If they ever do ask, I would do everything I possibly could do to help them, including lending them money.

Cheers:

Do not understand why you mentIon SIN SOT as they already had this from the first husband, they only get it once.

[ableguy]

Dont marry some poor Isaan girl who's familly grows rice ,then it goes as far as your wife and children ,sorry if this seems harsh but its the truth and sometimes it hurts.

isnt this the only kind of girls available for the farang to marry? always exceptions-too bad i never see them in public.........................lol.

Head to pattaya.

[kikoman]

10 Yen,

your statements ie: "I expected the usual replies", "Nobody gives money" and "Reality is probably different", said a lot that, you are used as the family ATM, and do not believe that us expats, that do not give money, you believe that is a requirement to be married to a Thai lady in Thailand. You need to take a long look at your relationship if your wife expects you to support her family. tell her "no" if she leaves, you are being used as an ATM, If she does not leave then your problem is solved!

I am not saying those expats that willingly help the family are wrong, but when you are expected to give money to her extended family, that is where I would have drawn the line.

All of my wife's family have jobs and are very hard working, many of them are rice farmers, that are having a very hard time because the government has not paid the rice scheme funds and their money is held up at the bank. They have borrowed money from the rest of the family until their money is released by the banks, I feel kind of slighted that they have not asked me to lend some money, which in this situation, within reason, i would lend it if asked!

I have never supported any of my wife's relatives, just the wife and two step daughters, I love my MIL and FIL, they have never asked me for money in the 10 years I have been married (I was not asked for sin sot), If they ever do ask, I would do everything I possibly could do to help them, including lending them money.

Cheers:

Do not understand why you mentIon SIN SOT as they already had this from the first husband, they only get it once.

You need to read up on the past threads, many Farangs asking what is a fair amount for sin sot, many are asked and pay it.

Also many Thai males pay Sin Sot more than once and it is usally in the 100,000 baht range here in our village Have a Thai nephew been married twice, paid sin sot twice and his second wife had been married before.

Cheers

[tomyumchai]

i rocked up in the village in udon in 2006 to the amazement of my then g/f. her amazement was that her father, who she hadnt seen or heard of for 14 years suddenly took it apon himself to also rock 200km up to the village on a 'surprize' vist to see the ferrang..........i gave him a bucket of catfish.

on the next visit my g/f stupidly (for her) translated what granma was growling at me when i arrived..............

"what he come back here for.......if he not make the house for me tell him go away".........well done granma, ive not been taken for a mug since.

Edited December 11, 2013 by tomyumchai

[Hardened Spanker]

i rocked up in the village in udon in 2006 to the amazement of my then g/f. her amazement was that her father, who she hadnt seen or heard of for 14 years suddenly took it apon himself to also rock 200km up to the village on a 'surprize' vist to see the ferrang..........i gave him a bucket of catfish.

on the next visit my g/f stupidly (for her) translated what granma was growling at me when i arrived..............

"what he come back here for.......if he not make the house for me tell him go away".........well done granma, ive not been taken for a mug since.

A classy,intelligent and no doubt sartorially elegant family there!

[tingtongtingtong]

My get money from my Thai girlfriend, not the other way round. She is smarter and richer than me and her family has money and wouldn't dream of asking anyway (just like the UK). Why should it be any different?

Do the same you would in your home country.

[tingtongtingtong]

Yeah....you're right ....but in Thailand its "dimes on a dollar".....a lot cheaper as I pointed out earlier

But your right women are women....dump us men once we're no good to them anymore....

Same all over the world....

for me now though ....met a great Thai women ...and I'm happy....been so for 10 years...so nothing to complain about...

Yeah and I guess men don't dump women once they get old and their tits get saggy?

Let's be honest here,apart from youth and beauty most Thai girls have very little else to offer!

If the relationship is based on you having money and them having said youth and beauty,once they break their side of the contract by ageing surely it's time to trade them in for a younger model?

You must have some shallow relationships in Thailand. I suggest you extend the circle of people you know

[tingtongtingtong]

Why don't you find a good Thai girl with money and whose family has money otherwise your life is going to be a headache...I'd give up on her now.

[jacko45k]

I don't make it my problem.

An initial warning to the wife that I am not interested in making 'loans' to her family.... and what she does with her money I do not fret over.

Like others I am fortunate that her family do not seem to be the type to even ask, and she has no offspring which is normally the worst drain on finances.

If you put a strong foot down, things will be okay, I believe if you are an easy touch, you will be taken advantage of.

[benalibina]

When my wife was pregnant she referred to me that her mother needed to be supported with money. I said...well....whatever your brothers and sisters support her with, 4 persons, i double it. Never heard anything about it anymore. Later i gave her a monthly allowance to pay for everything. Rent, electrical bills, food etc. Surely money has gone to the family but......

At the end of the day in situations like this we marry the most responsible, caring and loving woman in the family !!

[thaibeachlovers]

Why do so many people assume all Thais regress to children once a Farang marries into the family?They survived before you turned up so they'll do it after,I cannot stand parasites!

People at my wife's work are always asking her why she still works when she married a farang. It's assumed that all farangs are rich.

[beachproperty]

Yeah....you're right ....but in Thailand its "dimes on a dollar".....a lot cheaper as I pointed out earlier

But your right women are women....dump us men once we're no good to them anymore....

Same all over the world....

for me now though ....met a great Thai women ...and I'm happy....been so for 10 years...so nothing to complain about...

Yeah and I guess men don't dump women once they get old and their tits get saggy?

Well I haven't and doubt that I ever will as she is a wonderful person with the "biggest heart"....but I guess there will always be people like you who judge people by their looks and feel people are "disposable" when they reached their "use by date"....good luck with that!

Edited December 13, 2013 by beachproperty

[Somsrisonphimai]

Dont marry some poor Isaan girl who's familly grows rice ,then it goes as far as your wife and children ,sorry if this seems harsh but its the truth and sometimes it hurts.

You know you cannot help who you love and want to be with. I say you need to be upfront with them and tell them that you are not their bank account. However, if you are able to help them when they needed you, then why not? It is a noble thing to do.