What's the point?

[itsrebel]

Have you ever wondered why everything prescribes love, selflessness and a communal outlook. Why is living for yourself such a bad thing. Why does the society ostracize someone who is independent of it?

One reason is that the human species is not that far removed from swinging in the trees and we are a tribal species, much like Apes. A sense of fulfillment comes from contributing to the whole as part of perpetuation of the species. It is also what makes us territorial and defensive of outside influences. Perpetuation of the species is no longer a concern today with humans infesting every corner of the planet, so our psyche turns to the reason for being. Humans have been asking themselves this question for thousands of years, often confusing spirituality with religion.

There is nothing wrong with living life for yourself. If you are comfortable in your own skin and are resolved to being alone, so be it. You only have to answer to yourself. When you choose a life of solitude, a person tends to turn inward and dwell on aspects of life that you would not have time to ponder if you had a family. One poster advocated to not look inward, forgo introspection and live an outwardly focused life. I disagree as until you know who are, how can you benefit anyone else?

Not sure what you mean about being ostracized for it though, other than many things in life are geared toward couples. Perhaps you can provide an example of how you feel ostracized for not being in a relationship.

Being roughly twice you age and having been in / out of serious relationships most of my life, I can tell you this. The happiest and most fulfilled I have ever been in my life was when I was in a loving, devoted relationship. I have been lucky enough to find the "magic" a few times in life. Unfortunately, I have not been smart enough to figure out how to make it last.

"No man is an island" - John Donne

Without getting into individual specifics, how about the financial benefits offered to people who have a family?

You get a tax rebate in most countries for having a child, while a single individual is taxed more.

Shouldn't it be the opposite? Given that we have already crossed seven billion.

[Dancealot]

/quote

To the OP: you seem as if you are at the point of awakening. Don't let any of the negatvie replys to your post get you down. Your thought pattern is quite profound. It is neither positive nor negative - more thoughfull. For such a young age you really should feel blessed that you are able to question what is! Funny how some think you are resonating at a low frequency when in fact your frequency is elevated.

/endquote

To the OP: Thank you for asking. I am not afraid to appear naïve, as well.

If I understand you correctly you say that every year you ask yourself the same questions and almost always you get the same answers. After you have realised this, you feel bothered with the spiral you put yourself in.

It's funny to see that a turbulent life you lead yourself can turn into a drag. I think to you it doesn't really matter how much you travel, you keep endig up with yourself and you beliefs. I dont hope depravity is one of them.

I read in your 3rd alinea you value your own personal freedom and independance. Take it from there and ask yourself if you really believe this and if so; reconsider WHY you do.

If you cant remember you could always get yourself a dog and teach him how he should respect your personal freedom. Maybe you'll grow to love him. You never know...

Oh, the point? To try to make myself and others happier.

Good luck.

[notmyself]

I read in your 3rd alinea

Utter tosh, you are just making it up.

[Edit] to add a smile.

Edited December 25, 2013 by notmyself

[Dancealot]

Utter tosh, you are just making it up.

[Edit] to add a smile.

Ah, the good old imaginary-emoticon. Nice touch.

[Hugh Geen]

Don't forget http://www.leaderu.com/science/ross-justright.html and http://www.lifesorigin.com/chap10/molecular-knowledge-primordial-soup.php. The fact you are here at all is enormously incredibly unlikely. And are you not proud to live at a time when the ideas of string theory, M-theory and the multiverse were first suggested? Stop wining and make the most of it. You are very, very, very lucky!

[JeffreyWitty]

OP,

Ok, thanks for the rant. Since Thailand is not the right fit for you to improve your life, head on home.

You tried, you failed. No big deal.

[MJP]

If bringing another human being into the world does not give a point to life,then nothing else will,my friends youngest daughter ,who split up with her boyfriend,who wanted children,told him "don't expect me to give you any Grandchildren"

He replied,"I know that already" He reasoned only cold,selfish people,refuse to have, and bring up children,and find reasons to opt out! I can't find any argument there! I'm sure having a career in the local Shopping Mall,as a Accountant,Stocktaker,Auditor,doesn't quite cut it!

I think most men,would find a woman who loves children,a welcome part of her attraction,and the Accountantcy possibly as cold as the job suggests?

I think this is absolutely correct.

[JLCrab]

What's the point? A young Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) had the same query:

[alphaboy123]

Itsrebel:

Make happiness a habit.

Little by little ... force yourself to be happy.

Look at children and see how they are happy without having a reason to be so.

When you force a trait upon yourself it becomes second nature in you after a time.

Practice makes perfect ... this is true for virtue as well.

As for achievements, how come you go through them year after year? Should you

not be reviewing them night after night?

Just what sort of 'achievement' do you refer to as being 'worthy'?

Anyway, whatever your definition, i seem to recall someone saying, 'you cannot be

happy with what you have until you are happy with what you are'.

Indeed, what value can there be in acquiring a nice property, buying some posh car,

making some useful little scientific discovery, setting up a charity, landing a prestigious

job, if you're unhappy with yourself? None of these will fill up the empty spaces in you,

will they ... not for long at any rate.

I do not know what a worthy achievement is to you, but let me point out a few i have

learnt of, which may just turn your life around:

1.- Be civil to folks you dislike; do not antagonize them, & quietly help them out if

they should happen to be in some sort of difficulty.

2.- Hold your tongue when you're insulted or criticized (when you refrain from arguing

your rights, life takes the helm, and within hours or days, it intervenes to save

your honour in very practical ways).

3.- Smile when you find it very difficult to do so (the more you're hurting, the higher

the value that that smile will carry with it).

4.- Don't let others know of your sorrows, but do tell them of your joys (this will train

you in fortitude and self-control, & may help who knows how many folks round

you who happen to be fighting a harder battle).

5.- Avoid people, comments & articles in the media and online forums designed to

bring you down. Remember Strawberry Fields: 'Let me take you down coz i'm

going too'. He who's got a flaw wants you to have it too.

People who tell you that death is the end of you & life has no purpose are merely

speculating, for they haven't got an iota of evidence to support their claims. They

also seem to take it for granted that whatever may be true for them has got to be

true for you as well. But this is not so.

Take advice from he who is light-hearted, for light-heartedness can accomplish

much. As for sarcasm, keep away from it.

6.- If you can love one-sidedly, then love when you cannot love (your parents? ...

imagine you set the example, regardless of response, and without taking the

slightest credit ... would that not be an achievement to be remembered at the

end of the day, and perhaps at the end of your life as well?)

7.- No self-pity. Whatever you do, do not admit self-pity into your heart.

Are you maimed? Are you without love? Smile and hold your head up high.

Life may be sending you these woes that you may sympathize and empathize

with those among us who indeed are physically maimed or without love, ... that

you may learn to unswervingly treat others exactly the way you wish to be treated,

in every particular.

If you can do that, that is the one and only achievement you really need ...

everything else merely follows by extension.

Besides, being without love (unloved) is not as bad as being unable to love,

and the latter can be learnt.

If you were to handle yourself with this sort of dignity, i am convinced that, all alone

and without the slightest effort, you would soon, quite soon, find out whether or not

there is a point to life.

Sincerity, Rebel, one needs to be sincere, one needs to be earnest.

Look at how much a man is willing to invest and sacrifice that the woman he desires

may finally be his. People who want a university degree spend a fortune in tuition fees

and the best years of their lives studying!

And yet, we demand to be told answers to life's most vital questions for free? without

lifting a finger? as if by magic?

I'm afraid life's secrets are not that cheap.

And he who fancies he can treat life like rubbish, will stink all the way to the grave.

'What do you live for?' is not an unanswerable question at all.

But it is both utterly useless and altogether hypocritical to expect to be able to crack

an answer to the most important question pertaining to oneself, when at any given

moment the most fleeting trifle seems to take priority over it!

Discriminate. Be selective. Choose whom you talk to and what you read and watch.

Above all, you cannot live for family, neighbours or country if you're not living well

with yourself first; ... much less will Burma, Sri Lanka or Vietnam be of any help to

you.

You've got to clean up your own home to begin with ... conscientiously.

That done, you'll find that, automatically, doors you didn't know were there will begin to

open up before you, and almost unwittingly, you'll find yourself living for others as well.

[atyclb]

Manic depressive comes to mind after skim reading your post.

Kindly elaborate upon what suggests bipolar disorder in the OP post.

Thank you.

I never suggested anything of the sort.

Bi-polar disorder is the currently used name for "manic depression"

Bi-polar disorder = manic depression / ive

[Pops]

Life is what YOU make of it !!

Anywhere in the world.

Regarding Thailand, and I can only speak for myself, beautiful people, nice weather, good food, wonderful nature, pleasant pricing only make, living life pleasantly, a bit easier.

[keithmeredith]

We are born, then we go about our lives keeping our heads down trying to make the most of it and then later we die, perhaps peacefully in our sleep if you`re lucky or maybe on the job with some bird which is a way I would prefer to go, with a smile on my face.

There is no heaven, there is no glorious kingdom where we will spend all eternity living in some paradise wonderland, we only get one crack and one chance to enjoy our short lifetimes and that`s about it.

Only one crack? Here in thailand?

[sbk]

Inflammatory post removed, suggest you rethink your attitude before posting again

[Dancealot]

I consider life as a gift and a large part of the point.

[MJP]

I consider life as a gift and a large part of the point.

Your one liner there has got to be one of the best head straighteners I've ever read.

[Berkshire]

To the OP: you seem as if you are at the point of awakening. Don't let any of the negatvie replys to your post get you down. Your thought pattern is quite profound. It is neither positive nor negative - more thoughfull. For such a young age you really should feel blessed that you are able to question what is! Funny how some think you are resonating at a low frequency when in fact your frequency is elevated.

It is one thing to become awakened. Realizing that your plane of existence is out of whack is not an automatic pass to the next level. Many, including myself can empathize with the OP as we are all in this plane until we find the way to progress. More and more people are awakening to the spiritual aspect of our existence without applying dogma and are seeking fulfillment. Unfortunately there is no handbook and each person's path is different. The fundamental message I have ascertained from studying theology and spirituality for decades is that love, selflessness and a communal outlook on society are the keys. Unfortunately, western society dictates just the opposite.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them" - Henry David Thoreau

Have you ever wondered why everything prescribes love, selflessness and a communal outlook. Why is living for yourself such a bad thing. Why does the society ostracize someone who is independent of it?

There is nothing wrong with just living for yourself. Freedom of choice and all that. But if you then complain that you see no meaning in your life, well then....

The only certainty in your life is that you will die, as will I. So in the short time that we have on this Earth, why not make the best of it?

[Escapologist]

Itsrebel,

I cant help sympathies with you, reading you own post is almost like reading my own script. I myself in late 30's have done the living in Thailand plus other countries hoping to find a reason that will make me content.

Unlike you I actually realize what I'm searching for and I feel your searching for the same thing although you might not realize it.

There is only one thing in life that matters mate and that's human bonds, having people care about you and you caring about people whether it be wife, children, friends they will give you the reason that we all need to live everything else means nothing!

Loneliness is the devil so break the mold that you have landed in and you'll find no need to be on this forum at Xmas.

Don't worry I'm working on it too!

Good luck

The best bit of advice this guy is going to get. Having a few special people to share life with makes the difference between existing and living. I don't live in Thailand and I've noticed that a number expats have undertones of regret about moving there. Decades on a wild goose chase for something, companionship, that they were infinitely more likely to find back home. And now it's too late for them. They blew it.

[Ulysses G.]

Decades on a wild goose chase for something, companionship, that they were infinitely more likely to find back home.

IMO, they are infinitely more likely to find companionship here. Whether it works out, or not, is a different story, but that is true everywhere..

[FM505]

Long list of negatives to be sure... but if you're going to live in Asia, this is the place.

Large expat community.

Healthy international trade - abundance of goods and services.

Plenty of bright and talented locals... requires some vetting.

Beautiful landscapes.

High end properties, resorts, hotels, etc.

Good chow... and again, the large expat community.

[Escapologist]

Decades on a wild goose chase for something, companionship, that they were infinitely more likely to find back home.

IMO, they are infinitely more likely to find companionship here. Whether it works out, or not, is a different story, but that is true everywhere..

Proper companionship already presupposes that it has "worked out". Much less likely in a country full of mercenaries who barely speak your language and who share virtually zero cultural references with you. To suggest otherwise is just silly. Even expats are typically 'people like you' and there are many more like that back home.

[Rumpole]

Decades on a wild goose chase for something, companionship, that they were infinitely more likely to find back home.

IMO, they are infinitely more likely to find companionship here. Whether it works out, or not, is a different story, but that is true everywhere..

Depends what kind of 'companionship' they are looking for. Quality human interaction can often be even more elusive in Thailand.

[claffey]

your in your mid thirties and you volunteered with war victims in vietnam! from which war! life is about experiences.having a family is the greatest experience of all.I feel sorry for. someone as cynical as you.

Sent from my Vodafone Smart II using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Hugh Geen]

Just came across this. Any help?

Happy New Year campers.
'This is true happiness; to have no ambition and to work like a horse as if you had every ambition. To live far from men, not to need them and yet to love them. To take part in the Christmas festivities and, after eating and drinking well, to escape all on your own from all the snares, to have the stars above, the land to your left and the sea to your right: and to realise all of a sudden that, in your heart, life has accomplished its final miracle: it has become a fairy-tale.' (Kazantzakis.)

[gopis108]

Hey dide and others like you-You got the answer but you cannot see it for looking-This material with its four basic defects-birth-death-old age and disease is in fact part of hell because thats what hell is all about-not having a good time so that one you we may wake up and say-this world is lousy there must be something better and begin looking for it.Unfortunately most of us try everything else but the one thing thats going to help us get our sense of happiness back.There is no possibility of being really happy here because or the above mentioned problems-plus of copurse it is all temporary so whatever we do get or achieve has to be left behind in due course.So the soltion-start doing some serious meditative thinking and what will really help is to begin doing some chanting of the best mantra ,ie.Hare chrishna-otherwise go on suffering.