Farangs with Thai Women

[MantisMan]

It's not only Thailand, but also Japan, Hong Kong and Mainland China.

It's a worldly thing, but my 20 years living in a few Asian countries tells me that it's especially an Asian thing, culturally speaking.

In Japan, it's called having an "Aijin" (lover) or "Nigo" (2nd). It's common for men to have a mistress, as I said culturally speaking.

So, western men see this and think that they can use it as an excuse to do the same thing.

You can find married Japanese Business men working in Hong Kong going up to Shenzhen to visit their mistresses.

Prostitution is legal in Hong Kong and slightly in the Economic Zone.

My wife's father, coming from Guangzhou China, is the son of his fathers 2nd in charge concubine. This is not uncommon.

Actually, it's much easier to get away with it here in Asia. Lots of younger women go for slightly older men and don't give a dam_n if he is married or not.

Asia has a completely different outlook at sexuality then our prospective countries do. To Asian people, sex is no more then eating and breathing. It's all a part of life.

Most Asian women are quite sensual in their behavior and do so unconsciously. They are just very sexual people, and we, I, love them.

Western men are attracted to that and don't want to bother with head games as you get with Western women.

Asking an Asian woman, in a non-rude manner, if she would like to go home with you DOES NOT elicit as slap in the face or a snub as what would happen with a Western woman, generally speaking.

If she is interested, then great. If not, no big deal. There is no loss of face.

So, when you live in a country that does not SHAME sex like Christian countries do, live among sensual sexy women who celebrate sex ( just check out the fertility parades in Japan and some parts of China if you don't believe me ), legal prostitution, concubine system and having a mistress as normal, what do you expect?

Sorry, but that's just the way it is, like it or not.

This was meant to help, not hurt.

Edited December 27, 2013 by MantisMan

[SeaVisionBurma]

Post containing inappropriate language removed

[SeaVisionBurma]

Derogatory post removed.

Please read carefully: If you cannot post in a civil, mature, and objective manner then don't bother posting here. If you feel you must post using vulgar, obscene or inflammatory language then expect a suspension.

[lahgon29]

He pretended to go for massages. Packed my bags and came back to Oz. We did notice how they flirted but he always said that it was pathetic how old men went with young woman and I believed him.

Now I understand..You're from Oz...I had the joy of 2 marriages and divorces to Oz ladies. Years of stress. I discovered what selfishness, lawyers, and property settlements were all about from these 2 wonderful women..I got over it all, and am now married to a Thai women who seems to have all the opposite attributes.

I have my own idea why he butterflied. From the bitterness you exude while claiming to be happy, that idea is reinforced.

Try and lighten up.

[qdinthailand]

Just a guess: Not all relationships are Nightmares.

Many farang-Thai relationships are in the "pinch me, I must be dreaming" good dream category.

Of course, you only read the sh*t stories, so you think they are all nightmares. You need to rethink your opinion.

[maximillian]

Instead of slagging off Thai women why not put the blame where it belongs..........your husband.

Or yourself.

[Traveller45]

Yeah you could totally agree. I am a business woman and earned more than he did

If that little picture there is you, you are actually quite attractive ! I really don*t understand your husband...

[bobmac10]

Talking about the suicide nightmares. If your happy with Thai then good for you.

yes, but that's not what you said in your original post.

I've been happily married to a Thai woman for 36 years.

She's a very level headed and content person, not money oriented.

Your online name "cheated " says it all.

[cup-O-coffee]

I only loved him. He begged my forgiveness and to take him back. No way.

Being perfect is a lonely row to hoe, isn't it, cheated?

Take it easy on both of your selves. Life is too short. Throwing away such a big investment is stupid and only brings more hurt. I've no doubt he'd give his kidney or lung or life to save yours if it were warranted at this moment.

I see those words above as nothing more than pain and anger. Get through it and deal with it. Eros love (Erotic) is nothing more than the measure of what you have built through your Phyleo love (Friendship) and Agape love (Unconditional).

I am surprised that you didn't see this coming. You say you only loved him, right? So, how is it that you unleash your love (your love) towards something or someone and get blindsided by it? Isn't that a shame on you and not a shame on him? Isn't tossing it aside without any attempt to discuss it or reconcile fully or at least to an acceptable standard simply a reflection back on you, and your high and lofty standards?

Anyways... I hope you work it out. He needs you now and you need him... if for nothing more than to talk it out and discover where the Phyleo and Agape went off the track. However, the window of opportunity is closing. Men simply do not just go out and commit an act like this without cause or reason. Same with women. They can't say that they are shocked or surprised when their man does something like this without cause or reason. Focusing on the act only and not the steps that got to the act is a mistake and makes me think your "only loving him" is disingenuous at best.

So, I read your posts and you still haven't been able to provide your view of why, perhaps, he did this. You do realize that scorning, degrading and disparaging him as a reply only points back to the person that you chose to "only love"? It is impossible for you to hurt so much and not love him. Follow your heart, and not your emotions.

Thanks for letting me ramble...

All the best to you and him and that long overdue honesty and discussion.

[maximillian]

All this talk about western men coming to Thailand for beautiful Thai women, but having spent nearly 15 years in Thailand I can't recall that many times I've seen a western man with a beautiful Thai woman.

I'm not saying there aren't any western men who have met and married beautiful Thai women, of course there are, but its a rare event.

Something wrong with your eyesight, GuestHouse ?

I can see many lovely Thai ladies with less lovely farang.

All of my Thai g/f I considered beautiful. And my Thai wife is beautiful, for sure.

Don't forget: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

[marioc]

Thank you for agreeing. Most of the nasty comments are from guys who are pathetic anyway. Don't even read them. Some of my best friends are Thai women and I love them. It was a generalisation of the men committing suicide it is sad.

Sorry Cheated,.....but actually you sound rather pathetic..... men have been cheating on women and women have been cheating on men since thousands of years.

So what?

Thai women's fault?

You must be joking or on drugs!!!!

Definitely.

[Halion]

Been married to a Thai for 27 years and lived 25 of those years in Singapore and now living in Thailand. Have been coming to Thailand for over 30 years and have a wealth of experience as to the pitfalls that beset the westerners that come here looking for God knows what. Thailand for a tourist or business visitor can be an exciting sojourn, however to live here is a horse of a very different color. There have been legions of stories pertaining to outwardly sensible men coming to grief over relationships with Thai women. The vast majority of cross cultural relationships are truly parasitic, however, owing to the fact that these men can get a much younger women to sleep with him and superficially take care of him they consider the relationship to be symbiotic which it is not. Just wait until the funds for support start to dry up and these women are off like geese going south in winter.

Thailand is a honey trap for the hapless travelers and nothing is likely to change soon. What most western men do not seem to realize is that their partners are not on the same page at most levels and in many cases they are not even on the same book.

There is a lot more to relationships than bedding down and having your washing done. Perhaps your husband has now found the truth in that and has no one to blame but himself., however owing to the culture that prevails he is not alone in this as the majority of western men living here are doing exactly the same simply because they can and it is not a reflection on their wife or partner, just stupidity and lack of understanding as to the consequence.

There exist a massive hypocrisy amongst western males or most of the male species for that mater and that is that should they sleep with another then they expect to get away with it by saying that it did not mean a thing, however, should their woman do this it is betrayal of the highest order and unforgivable. I have had friends on both sides of this equation and the attitude and response is always the same.

[Bluetiger]

I always liked the old Henny Youngman joke:

Don't get married... Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

Holds true most most any culture.

[abrahamzvi]

I really want to know why western men get caught up with the nightmare of being with a Thai woman. When are they going to learn it's all about the money. I read so often about men committing suicide and it is unbelievable. I moved to Phuket with my husband after buying a restaurant. Within 3 months he was cheating with a Thai woman. Go figure.

I think its dangerous for a western wife to live in Thailand with her husband. I would almost guarantee he will wander, in most cases secretly. You can't compete with the looks of a Thai, unless you are very attractive and slim.

But, I agree its all about the money,as long as the money flows it will be OK.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Utter nonsense!!! There are some very attractive European ladies, and some awful looking ones, the same as Thais, Japanese etc. Secondly, not all Thai women are after money only!! I have been married to one for 26 years and although we are well off now, we have had tough times together and we are still very happily married with two adult daughters. Just goes to show how wrong you are!!!!!

[Scottythai]

I think you are misreading me. Read yesterday that another farang commited suicide over a Thai. I have read about this a lot and have friends who have come home bankrupt. To all of you who have met the woman of your dreams great good luck with it. To all you that have been left heartbroken and broke you have my sympathy.

People who buy this stuff are awesome. No link or proof just a I read. Well I read 90% of these types of stories are fake. Just as I read 87% of all percentages given on the internet are false....

I think the OP is the one misreading/misunderstanding things.

It is not that fact that the women are Thai that these men are commiting suicide.

It is sadly more likely to do with the fact that the men in question have got into a relashionships with unrealistic expectations, with a particular type of woman regardless of her nationality.

If a man decides to enter into a relashionship where he is financially supporting the woman and possibly her family family, then he should be realistic enough to expect the "love" to run out at the same time his money does!

The stigma attached to dating Thai women is unjust in my opinion (if refering to normal middle class thai ladies), Im not saying all thai women are good, many of them are complete cxxt's like many women worldwide.

However many men come here and unfortunately date and marry prostitutes!

A thai prostitutes international reputation is only one notch above that of an al qaeda terrorist.

So what do you expect to hear from men that date or marry these types? .... happy endings (pardon the pun)

Your reading way to much into this topic. It's a troll post to try to get comments like the bolded. Congrats you got trolled....

[zeichen]

"The cranky old c**ts, sex tourists and ex-sex tourists, here are hardly the types to give you helpful life changing advice."

Which one are you?

So Lara C, it is ok for you to doubt this OP, but you judge my wife? You have your head up your own arse.

If you read the first line of the OP, and you don't find that racist, then chances are you are just as ignorant and racist as the OP.

if you actually could read fully, you might have read other things in my post which stated that if the OP was written differently, she might get actually the responses should would need.

Walk up into a all black neighborhood and yell out how a black woman stole your white husband calling them all the things the OP said. See how you will be treated.

My point was to show the problem with the language of the OP. exchange the word Thai for Black, and would you ever make the same comments?

[atyclb]

I only loved him. He begged my forgiveness and to take him back. No way.

Perhaps if you post a curriculum vitae and some photos you can find some forum members willing to console you.

[LaraC]

So Lara C, it is ok for you to doubt this OP, but you judge my wife? You have your head up your own arse.

Who are you? Who's your wife? The one that wanted to punch the OP? My shock at that means i have head up my own arse? (But actually...that terminology refers to someone self-asborbed and unaware of what is going on around them...which i cannot see how that fits to be honest...

..but i digress, so back on track.. )

If i see a person wishing to punch another person who is obviously distressed so not thinking clearly, then yes, i do feel shock at that. If someone said to me they hate all women with blue eyes because their husband went off with one, id see they werent being very rational and feel sad for them..not wish to punch them (i have blue eyes). Maybe thats just my character though.

[mrowe1973]

There is a very simple solution to this problem. Everyone should just be in an open relationship. It's not logical to think a man or women wants to have sex with the same person for forty years. Life is short enjoy it! Also I have found western women use sex as a means to control a man. I went and cheated on my x wife because my needs were not being met. Make your lovers happy!!!

[HerbalEd]

Yeah ... go figure. 5555

[Beetlejuice]

I only loved him. He begged my forgiveness and to take him back. No way.

May I asked you; are you still living in Thailand, do you still own and manage the restaurant? Or have you been left high and dry here in Thailand? Are you still officially married to your husband? Is he still with this Thai woman? How old is your husband?

There are always two sides to a story and would be interested to here your side of it.

[BlackJack]

I know lots of happily married couples

eventually they end up in our law office

its not if but when

[Bignose]

While this is an excellent forum for discussion and the expression of opinion, I have to admit to being a bit frustrated with the tone and lack of basic manners in some posts. The personal attack by bifftastic renders his otherwise legitimate comments as worthless. I understand this is a fairly emotive subject and it's easy to "press buttons" when commenting, but can we please tone down the insults?

[HerbalEd]

Why do so many men cheat with other women in Thailand? For the same reason a dog licks his testicles ... because he can. Most men in the West would do the same thing if they had the same opportunities. It's not really a matter of morality, it's just human nature.

Edited December 27, 2013 by HerbalEd

[Packu2]

My Thai wife is not with me because of my money. In fact she has more than me.

If you look for good middle and upper class Thai ladies they exist in droves. With

careers, jobs, money and no bf or husband. But don't expect them to behave like

a farm girl girl working in NP.

[godden]

He pretended to go for massages. Packed my bags and came back to Oz. We did notice how they flirted but he always said that it was pathetic how old men went with young woman and I believed him.

you didn't fall that old line surely!!!

[khunpa]

He pretended to go for massages. Packed my bags and came back to Oz. We did notice how they flirted but he always said that it was pathetic how old men went with young woman and I believed him.

you didn't fall that old line surely!!!

Yeah a classic, but it still works with many western women :-)

[Hawkman]

Just like you get farang men with hangups about farang women, you do go get some farang women who come here and get very cynical and bitter towards Thai women. Understandable in many ways as they are not receiving the attention themselves and can see through some of the Thai women's intentions. However, to be bitter against all farang men with Thai women is just unfair, hypocritical and ridiculous. And without sounding sexist, there may be a bit of resentment that here men have choices, whereas back home in somewhere in the UK mens choices are a lot less compared with women, generally. Nice to even it out a bit.

I will always remember bumping into a fellow female Brit, when myself and her fellow male traveller chatted to a couple of nice looking Thai girls, the farang girl got right on her high horse and saying all farang men who are interested in Thai girls are perverts, it's just wrong for a farang man to date local girls etc etc. When her friend pointed out that she jumped into bed with many Australian men while traveling through Australia and had a thing for Spanish men, her argument was, "that's different, they don't have a bad reputation / they are the same as us". I'm sorry, but sleeping around with people who like to sleep around, sure that's bad reputation in capital letters and why does the person we choose to sleep with have to have the same color skin, culture or upbringing? She had no basis for her argument, so I felt she was just bitter, jealous and cruel.

On the other coin, I know some farang women who come here understand the situation and get on with lives, not bitter, have acceptance and enjoy dating Thai men or farang men without any hangups. There's enough men here with female hangups all over the land and there's plenty here that just happen to suffer from Yellow fever, as we call it.

Edited December 27, 2013 by Hawkman

[Korat28]

A lot of the stories of farangs and their nightmarish thai girlfriends stem from older men dating young bar girls who themselves have no formal education and are mostly from poor areas (would you turn to prostitution if you had the option of a better job?) and when the ATM (the farang) runs dry they look for a new gullible, horny farang to finance them. But, not all Thai women are like that. Sure, plenty do just care about money, but then again, you should include Vietnamese, Laotian, Khmer women and whoever else in poorer SE Asia into that category. I lived in Nam and it seemed worse there than here.

Edited December 27, 2013 by Korat28

[Korat28]

My Thai wife is not with me because of my money. In fact she has more than me.

If you look for good middle and upper class Thai ladies they exist in droves. With

careers, jobs, money and no bf or husband. But don't expect them to behave like

a farm girl girl working in NP.

I totally agree!