How much information do you divulge to your gf / wife re your financial situation back home

[Jasun]

I don't see the point in hiding anything from my wife. If we were to divorce, the courts would be quite capable of finding out exactly what I own and earn. Hopefully with an open, honest relationship it'll never come to that. But i'm prepared to live with the consequence if it ever does.

[peterpop]

I was in the same position as you 7 years ago. I am now in a really happy trusting relationship.

Neverthe less I made a pre nuptial agreement that clearly separated her wealth and possessions[zero] and mine[significant and NOT in Thailand]. We were married 2 years later and I then made a will in Thailand.

I have been lucky to find real love. I am 71 and she is 50. This is more OK in Asia than elsewhere.

Go for it. Fall in love. Enjoy your life. But don't forget the hard learned lessons.

[slipperylobster]

What my wife does for me is priceless... She wants to help out financially, but I asked her to just take care of me and keep me company. She knows everything about my pension, but says it is quite alright to keep our money in my account in the States. I set up an emergency fund for her in Thailand, and she never touches it. Damn lucky to have her. She rambles on quite a bit, however. At least it is done in English. She is quite good at taking care of the bills, and never runs short on our budget. I find she is actually more frugal than I, when she is handed the monthly wad of cash. No credit, so no worries. She shops less and I don't sweat the details as long as we are eating good throughout the month, and the bills are paid. The remainder is savings and goes in my account, which I openly show her. She smiles and enjoys the progress.

[jackr]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

[risky11]

Don't tell the wife anything, really. She has never asked about that. I do tell her things about when I might get an exceptional payment so we can replace our fridge or get a new motorbike or whatever, just to keep her in the loop. That said, she sees no bank ledgers or anything like that. She has her bank account and I have mine (of course, I pay for most things--her account is for her or others she wants to spend on).

We are both happier when I take care of the finances, so has never been an issue.

I agree with this fellow. Share things on a "need to know" basis. You already know that foreigners are financial targets. Keep a low profile. The idea that you should share everything in marriage is a dangerous myth. A ploy to make the target vulnerable. Don't fall for it. Women are "hypergamous" by nature. This means they will always go after the man who offers them the best deal at the time. Marriage counts for nothing. It's all about the moment. Past favors and generosity mean nothing. Stay mysterious. Be challenging. Women like that. Do NOT get married. Do NOT pay a sin sod. Just keep "paying the meter." Keep her happy. Give her a reason to keep YOU happy. Always rent - never buy. Good luck, bro...

Edited December 26, 2013 by risky11

[Halion]

As long as yo can reliably demonstrate that you are financially self sufficient and stable to provide an appropriate lifestyle for the both of you,then that is all you should disclose , anything more is unnecessary and potentially dangerous.From what you say in your post I think that she will accept this, however, should she keep delving into your financial background take it as a warning sign.

[thailiketoo]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

So you both die because the hospital can't get payment for that expensive heart surgery that would have saved your life. RIP he had a million but no one knew where to find it.

[rayongchelsea]

1980's sitting in the Toby jug in silom..

One piece of advice given to me as a youngster here..

Never tell a Thai women what you have..the future for them only extends till tomorrow..still rings true.

[rotary]

Leave things as they are. Do not start showing your deck of cards. Why in the world would you want to tell her about your

financial position.

[jackr]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

So you both die because the hospital can't get payment for that expensive heart surgery that would have saved your life. RIP he had a million but no one knew where to find it.

Your opinion.

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman

[BlueSkyCowboy]

IMO NEVER divulge your financial info to a Thai woman.

If she really loves you for yourself, she will not ask, though she will probably want to know if you have enough to provide for her.

If my wife had insisted on knowing how much I have back home, she wouldn't be my wife, or my GF. How else do you know if she loves you for yourself or your money?

Same goes for buying her a house, car or giving money to her family/ paying Sin Sod etc.

If you wouldn't do it with a western woman, why would you do it with a Thai woman?

Because u get more bang for the buck in Thailand LOL. I bought 30 Rai, 2 motor bikes and the downpayment on a car. That's it. I forgot to mentionI, I also put money into a business. The wife works hard and is very skilled. The darn thing is really making money for us. Basically I told my wife that I have enought to live in the US again or some other country. Only invest what u can afford to leave behind in Thailand, especially if u are older and can't make the money again. BTW I knew my wife for 3 yrs before we got married 2 yrs ago. Take your time to get to know the person and don't be in a big hurry. May I ask your ages?

Edited December 26, 2013 by BlueSkyCowboy

[khunpa]

If she is middle to upper class as you say, then what is your worries and why do you need to "test' her? In that case, she would not need your money. Why the need to get married fast? or purchase things together now? If you love each other, then whats the rush?

Live with her for a couple of years and you will quickly find out if she has any bad intentions with you. The basic mistake most people do, when they lose everything here, is to act to fast.

[BlueSkyCowboy]

1980's sitting in the Toby jug in silom.. One piece of advice given to me as a youngster here.. Never tell a Thai women what you have..the future for them only extends till tomorrow..still rings true.

Yes still true today on Nana street

[Beetlejuice]

Some years ago I was taken to the cleaners by my first wife in the Uk, but this has not made me paranoid about concerns and giving trust over my assets.

All my US, European, UK and Thai bank accounts are in joint names with my Thai wife, both of us have full access to all the accounts without restrictions. My wife never has to ask me for money, we have certain budgets each month and both of us have the common sense to control our spending so as we do not go over our monthly income budgets and start dipping into the capital amounts. Plus the home is in the names of our children, so if any happens to me or the wife, everyone has no problems and will be well secure, there was never any need to make a will.

Trust is what marriage and being a proper family unit is all about, and regarding those who have doubts about their partner`s loyalty and trustworthiness, must have serious flaws within the relationships.

The OP mentions that he receives a pension income, so I guess that he is much older than his Thai girlfriend. If this is the case, than yes, he should be extremely wary and cautious and not dive into the deep pool head first until he is absolutely certain of the true feelings and future ambitions of his present girlfriend, no matter how long it takes.

[FiftyTwo]

Hate to break it to you OP, Upper class women in Thailand do not date/marry western men 10+ years older than them. It just isn't done.

The most upper class woman in Thailand did exactly that.

[forumuser10]

You are already selected because of your financial situation. 98% of all the foreigners who can afford to travel across the world, are considered rich by many Thais. Even if they are considered low income people in the west.

[Prettygirl051469]

Am am now lucky to be the partner of prettygirl. I met a Filipino in 2005 and she appeared to be very disinterested in my financial situation. I was duped. Ended up a big unhappy looser. You pass a lot of control to your partner when she becomes your wife. She may even change her personality dramatically once you are trapped. I escaped and feel very lucky to have a new chance with a person I heave learnt to trust over a number of years.

[asiamaster]

I always say that I'm broke and ask her to send some money for the sick cow..

[thailiketoo]

If she is middle to upper class as you say, then what is your worries and why do you need to "test' her? In that case, she would not need your money. Why the need to get married fast? or purchase things together now? If you love each other, then whats the rush?

Live with her for a couple of years and you will quickly find out if she has any bad intentions with you. The basic mistake most people do, when they lose everything here, is to act to fast.

I knew an upper middle class Thai lady who shot three husbands. She was beautiful; had a great business and two cars and a house all paid for. She was perfect except for the husband shooting thing.

Edited December 26, 2013 by thailiketoo

[Andre0720]

Tell her you have enough to feed her....

[Beetlejuice]

Here are some of my comments I have mentioned many times in the past here on Thai visa regarding these type of subjects:

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods. All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in they’re 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased and so on with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their newfound wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up dead.

Many of the Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West, where basically all they want is a child and to accumulate wealth for a comfortable life later on without a male partner. I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, or in other words, tread carefully out there, it can be dangerous world where you stand to lose everything, even your life in some cases.

It`s really a case that the OP has to form his own judgements based on his life time worldly experiences and play it by stealth and by ear. One good piece of advice I can give, is to especially keep an eye on the girlfriend`s online activities, such as facebook and type in her email addresses, mobile phone numbers, nicknames and so on into Google and see if anything comes up about her. Watching these people online often gives a good indicator as to the true characters of people. Although this may seem sneaky, you have to consider your own welfare and interests as number one, also to avoid being whacked hard in the future.

[thehelmsman]

My ex thai wife had a uni degree a good job and family.I had invested 7 million baht in land and building before i met her.

after 5 years of marriage and another 11 million baht in building on my land i closed my company and put my assets in our

married name as she is a thai national life would be easy.the day this happened i became invisible to my wife and her family after

5 years of eating and sleeping under my roof they no longer recognized me then the police turned up and took me for questioning over

a large drug deal they said if i was on the island {samui}in 24 hours i would not see freedom for long time.8 hours later i arrived home

to find 3 thai men in my empty house all with pistols i was told by the new owner to leave his land or he will shoot me.my wife and inlaws were gone

even my dog.I sent a long email to the ex and she replied {_UCK OF YOU WERE JUST A PIECE OF SHIT THAT PASSED MY LIFE}

Never trust or tell a thai what you have and never ever try to find love trust or honesty in Thailand it does not exist their every one around

you is corrupt and after your money at all costs you are a small insect with a million birds circling 10cm over your head keep your

guard up at all times and expect the unexpected GOOD LUCK.

Don't hold back - let it all out. Feel better.

[ozyjon]

blah blah blah,, heard it all before, i trust my wife 100% (bullshit) she buys me presents (bullshit) she pays for half of.... (bullshit)

did you hear this one.....

"on our wedding night she says to me - Darling now that we are married half of your assets belong to me"

Where do they get that from.

Or try this if you really have the nerve,,,,

Let your finances run down to nothing (hide some cash somewhere for your getaway) then tell her

Darling I HAVE NO MONEY and see how long you last..

I dare you, i dare all of you,, try it out just once.

And just like Nero i will play my fiddle and watch you burn.

[Loptr]

My ex thai wife had a uni degree a good job and family.I had invested 7 million baht in land and building before i met her.

after 5 years of marriage and another 11 million baht in building on my land i closed my company and put my assets in our

married name as she is a thai national life would be easy.the day this happened i became invisible to my wife and her family after

5 years of eating and sleeping under my roof they no longer recognized me then the police turned up and took me for questioning over

a large drug deal they said if i was on the island {samui}in 24 hours i would not see freedom for long time.8 hours later i arrived home

to find 3 thai men in my empty house all with pistols i was told by the new owner to leave his land or he will shoot me.my wife and inlaws were gone

even my dog.I sent a long email to the ex and she replied {_UCK OF YOU WERE JUST A PIECE OF SHIT THAT PASSED MY LIFE}

Never trust or tell a thai what you have and never ever try to find love trust or honesty in Thailand it does not exist their every one around

you is corrupt and after your money at all costs you are a small insect with a million birds circling 10cm over your head keep your

guard up at all times and expect the unexpected GOOD LUCK.

This story and thousands like it are reason enough to CYA when it comes to YOUR financial stability. If that means obfuscating the truth regarding your net worth from your new little darling, then so be it.

If you are going to marry her, and you want trust in your marriage ( you will need trust if you want your marriage to succeed) then yes, you tell her about your financial situation back home, there should be no secrets between you, on the other hand, anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business, and vice versa.

Good luck with that.

[mogandave]

I would tell a girlfriend nothing specific, but once you are sure you want to marry I think you should let he know what you have or don't have.

I have my wife on all my accounts and give her a monthly update. Not sure exactly what the downside is if you're carful.

[ozyjon]

Here are some of my comments I have mentioned many times in the past here on Thai visa regarding these type of subjects:

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods. All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in they’re 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased and so on with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their newfound wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up dead.

Many of the Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West, where basically all they want is a child and to accumulate wealth for a comfortable life later on without a male partner. I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, or in other words, tread carefully out there, it can be dangerous world where you stand to lose everything, even your life in some cases.

It`s really a case that the OP has to form his own judgements based on his life time worldly experiences and play it by stealth and by ear. One good piece of advice I can give, is to especially keep an eye on the girlfriend`s online activities, such as facebook and type in her email addresses, mobile phone numbers, nicknames and so on into Google and see if anything comes up about her. Watching these people online often gives a good indicator as to the true characters of people. Although this may seem sneaky, you have to consider your own welfare and interests as number one, also to avoid being whacked hard in the future.

How about that,, i know exactly who you are talking about because every village up and down and across the country has one, in the village i lived there was one and the teacher at the local school would tell the children to grow up and be exactly like her,, so what message are they sending out, especially to young children 5, 6 ,7 years old,, i agree with you in one point, the menfolk i have talked to that have been married for a long time are folk that got married at least 20 years ago,, i don't see the same thing today,, i see poor rice farmers who want to hit the jackpot real quick, but this little black duck is not the jackpot they will find,, who me,, i have no money.

[denby45]

blah blah blah,, heard it all before, i trust my wife 100% (bullshit) she buys me presents (bullshit) she pays for half of.... (bullshit)

did you hear this one.....

"on our wedding night she says to me - Darling now that we are married half of your assets belong to me"

Where do they get that from.

Or try this if you really have the nerve,,,,

Let your finances run down to nothing (hide some cash somewhere for your getaway) then tell her

Darling I HAVE NO MONEY and see how long you last..

I dare you, i dare all of you,, try it out just once.

And just like Nero i will play my fiddle and watch you burn.

I'm gonna try that with my GF. I will tell her I had a bit of bad luck and now I have very little money. I can't say I have no money because she will wonder where I got the money for the beer.

I will let you know what happens.

Den

[thailiketoo]

blah blah blah,, heard it all before, i trust my wife 100% (bullshit) she buys me presents (bullshit) she pays for half of.... (bullshit)

did you hear this one.....

"on our wedding night she says to me - Darling now that we are married half of your assets belong to me"

Where do they get that from.

Or try this if you really have the nerve,,,,

Let your finances run down to nothing (hide some cash somewhere for your getaway) then tell her

Darling I HAVE NO MONEY and see how long you last..

I dare you, i dare all of you,, try it out just once.

And just like Nero i will play my fiddle and watch you burn.

I had a friend, he drank too much. When he got married to a Thai woman he had a nice nest egg and nice income (55 years of age). Because of his drinking in 10 years it was gone. He also had a brain tumor. The doctors operated but the operation was unsuccessful. So there he was. In a Thai hospital no money and not able to speak or move about. He was a vegetable. His Thai wife took him home. She did the witchdoctor stuff. He got better. Bit by bit she nursed him back to health. He went back to work and now they are both doing fine.

[laobali]

If you are going to marry her, and you want trust in your marriage ( you will need trust if you want your marriage to succeed) then yes, you tell her about your financial situation back home, there should be no secrets between you, on the other hand, anything that happened in your life before you met her, is none of her business, and vice versa.

If you have managed to achieve a blissful state of marriage yourself, then congrats. Personally, I think it is more a matter of luck, especially these days. If you are genuinely relatively poor, there is a greater chance of success.

[sirineou]

yet an other thread designed to elicit the usual Neanderthal response from the peanut gallery..

or is this a poll?

the answer is obvious to any one engaged in a successful mutually fulfilling marriage, with an IQ exceeding single digits.

All of it !!!

as to your GF, it all depends on your relationship.