Am I just a farang bank to her?

[tingtongtingtong]

YES YOU ARE JUST A FARANG BANK TO HER

repeat

YES YOU ARE JUST A FARANG BANK TO HER.

I have been married and divorce to a Thai women. (I'm only 31)

YOU ARE BEING PLAYED 100%

You wont listen, you have invested too much now, the real question should be how much more time and money are you willing to loose and how difficult of a life's lesson are you going to make this for yourself?

Will you be able to bounce back from being financially and emotional drained?

You

are going to be bankrupt and they rolled on to the next plane or in a ditch.

Find a women who is closer to your age, financially sound and education and pay nothing... You must have very low selfesteam...you can do it! Get out now!

Imagine if rich asian men went over to the UK or the US and threw money around trying to marry kids just out of high school or dole scum, smackheads and trailor trash, boardline homeless or people with social and emotional disorders...you would think you were mad!!!

My current Thail girlfriend is richer and smarter than me and has a great family and will get nothing money wise from me regarding weddings and junk...hell she's sending money to the UK to ME!

And where do you think she's getting this money to send you in the UK?

From the office job she works at. Central Bangkok bank. I have sat at her desk and talked to her co-workers...Don't even try lol

That's only her day job though.

At night she goes to university to study her masters, I have walked her there every day. Now while I am in the UK she comes straight home from workor university and falls asleep on skype every night with me until she wakes up and goes to her office job early morning...keep trying.

You see OP this is the kind of behavior you need to be certain in this country any red flags or doubts or even talking about money and I would walk away

[tingtongtingtong]

"from the office job she works at. Central Bangkok bank. I have sat at her desk and talked to her co-workers...Don't even try lol"

Unless she is the bank manager, she isn't making any more than 30k baht a month, so if she makes more than you, you must be poor as hell.

I am not working I am a student studying my PGCE to teach in international schools in BKK...we are both young, her moneys good, middle class Thai plus she has saved all her life and worked abroad and has a rich family...Trust me I've had worse lol

and its talked about to show the OP that not all Thai girls are on the look out for sinsods or poor

Plus if I had a UK girlfriend who was rolling in it I would joke about it all the time

Its not easy to find a 'good girl' in Thailand especially if you are middle aged and going for young girls - what do you expect?

Edited January 4, 2014 by tingtongtingtong

[Andre0720]

Well, I have a good advice...

Run....

[lostmebike]

Guys ( and viewers!)

95 percent of thai ladies are only interested in a " farang " for the money.There is only one way to test to see if she really likes you and that is:

1. Tell her you have absolutely "Nothing".

2. Give her absolutely "Nothing"

and if she is still with you after 6 months then " she likes you "!!!!

Oh and if you do meet a nice lady and who has a normal job and you want to live together then it's 50 /50 with all the bills!!!!

( Please note that i am " single " ) 5555

Agreed. Test the relationship, see if it's love the girl wants or money.

My wife's family asked me for 500k plus 20 Baht (weight) in gold, my wife told them on my advice that I didn't have it and that any money I did have would be for our future. The family agreed to the wedding on the proviso I could show 400k, which I did and got every last Baht back!

As some posters are saying, why do you have to buy your wife? 'This is Thailand' blah, blah but I'm not gonna skint myself for some greedy Thai. Some might say the families are poor and so on and I agree, some do need supporting, that's if you are willing to that is but with my wife's lot, they are professional people with properties, land and businesses and this is why I dug my heels in.

Thai's worship money and will try to get a payday from any man that marries a daughter, not just farangs too. Thai guys (usually with help from their families) also pay the dowry. Then there is the question of where in Thailand you are. If you in Isaan, good luck, they will want it regardless of their financial standing. As some here have already said, many families actually hand it back to the newly weds 'for the future', again it depends on the family and where you are I suppose

[Shancloudy]

the little girl, her sister, is probably her daughter, lol

farang ATM

wake up

did she put on her profile she wanted a sponsor or a sugar daddy

virgin and on internet dating site? get real

It's possible that virgin is on dating site. One of my bestfriend has an account on dating site and I know she never been kiss and never been touch. She is a registered nurse in the Philippines and currently teaching here and doing online business in Philippines.

Edited January 4, 2014 by Shancloudy

[Hardened Spanker]

Seriously OP,you have so many red flags here from people who do and don't know Thais and their culture.The engagement Sin Sot is a massive one,I've never heard of it before.
I really think you need to take all the advice here and have a very serious heart-to-heart with the whole family,saying that they'll just probably tell you what you want to hear as they have done up till now!

I think that you know deep down what the answer is,you know what they say...

There's no fool like an old fool!

[zeichen]

"the little girl, her sister, is probably her daughter, lol

That would make the girl 13 when she had her. Not likely.

REad all responses from the OP before making assumptions.

[metisdead]

This is not the Thai language forum, a post using Thai language has been removed. Send the info by PM.

Some troll posts have been removed.

[ggt]

I believe the OP is sincere in stating the facts as he sees them...

Understand sir...you...if you choose to remain with this girl...have become a part of HER family...it appears that momma rules the roost...you are there because you can contribute to their daughter's and their welfare...

I agree...with others...that she probably has a Thai bf on the side...does not require sleeping with you to be taken care of it that area...it is pure BS at this point...that she need a chaperone...

Man up...decide where you want this relationship to go ...and just do it...

[metisdead]

A post containing inappropriate language has been removed.

[harryfrompattaya]

The saddest part is she's almost certainly married already to Somchai,the tuk tuk driving "Uncle"!

Sin sot for an engagement now,it just gets worse!

It seems you are right

[atyclb]

As I mentioned in another topic too today:

Thailand is one of many countries and areas in the world where woman are put in dependable and dangerous positions and often are simply sold by the family.

Calling it culture does not justify it, it is wrong not matter how it's labelled!

I agree with you and human trafficking is deplorable BUT it is the boyfriend/husband that will become the slave in these cases (as OP)

[philliphn]

My gf gave me 2000 Baht the other day and sent me off to have a few beers for a couple of days.

The money is fast running out though....what should I do?

Run Forest run!

[Hardened Spanker]

"the little girl, her sister, is probably her daughter, lol

That would make the girl 13 when she had her. Not likely.

REad all responses from the OP before making assumptions.

Not really,she's probably 25 and "Uncle" Somchai the tuk tuk driver is the Father.It's a common trick in Thailand!

[lostmebike]

I gotta go agree with the 'get out brigade'.

The family asked you for 5 million Baht sin sod, you said no way, they then (IMO) panicked, thinking you would leg it, invented the 'engagement party' and 'gifts' story just to get something from you.

To me it seems suspect. I know of engagement parties but not with the tying of string. This is the real deal, ball and chain stylee!

Also of interest is the way the OP hasn't replied to any posts. He asked for advice but as of yet remains silent. I wonder...

[sdshaman]

If the girl is so young and sweet and her parents have a business and she lives in a city then for her to love and care about you, you must be handsome and young. There is no need for a girl like that to look for a mate on the internet. She could find all she needs in Chiangmai. If she is looking for a rich person, and she thinks you are one, then one might doubt her sincerity when she talks about love..Unless of course you are a handsome hunk and she may have fallen for you. If you are a middleaged+ farang without any special attributes, rest assured that she is trying to harvest gold. I doubt her sincerity, get out of the situation . This is my opinion.

middle-age and handsome. Kind of celebrity job. She works all the time and has no friends, only family. we fell for each other because I work all the time and have few friends also. That was our common ground. Then came caring and understanding... and constant contact on skype, day and night. I told her about my job and she was ok with not being together all the time. Because she will just work like she always does. I really think she is sincere and maybe I am thinking too much? this is day 3 with no money we will see.... I just do not want to hurt her if she is really being sincere and just thinking that I have plenty of money and this should be no big deal to do what she asks. really it isn't that big of a deal, I just read so many horror stories and this fits right in with them. That is why I post here.

[harryfrompattaya]

Nobody else will put up with my work. It sounds like you are a hired Killer. But really you are a Fool or a Troll

[sdshaman]

I gotta go agree with the 'get out brigade'.

The family asked you for 5 million Baht sin sod, you said no way, they then (IMO) panicked, thinking you would leg it, invented the 'engagement party' and 'gifts' story just to get something from you.

To me it seems suspect. I know of engagement parties but not with the tying of string. This is the real deal, ball and chain stylee!

Also of interest is the way the OP hasn't replied to any posts. He asked for advice but as of yet remains silent. I wonder...

actually I have replied to almost all the posts. And yes the tying of the strings was a little odd!

[atyclb]

Snippet from OP post

"Yes now I feel like a fool but my question here is about tradition. The engagement we had, does that follow any tradition? What I read says not really. Me having an engagement ring... is that tradition? The dowry I paid, is dowry for engagement or wedding? Did we just have a wedding ceremony or was it just an engagement? PLease include any reference material if possible. Thank you"

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind is blowing

Reference to Bob Dylan

[sdshaman]

Nobody else will put up with my work. It sounds like you are a hired Killer. But really you are a Fool or a Troll

12-16 hrs a day, 5-6 days a week with little notice of the actual hours I will be working. I have a start time but never a finish time. I can start work at 6am monday morning and by friday be starting at 5pm working until saturday morning. Or saturday working until sunday morning. 2-3 hotel moves in any given week... How you think?

[lostmebike]

I gotta go agree with the 'get out brigade'.

The family asked you for 5 million Baht sin sod, you said no way, they then (IMO) panicked, thinking you would leg it, invented the 'engagement party' and 'gifts' story just to get something from you.

To me it seems suspect. I know of engagement parties but not with the tying of string. This is the real deal, ball and chain stylee!

Also of interest is the way the OP hasn't replied to any posts. He asked for advice but as of yet remains silent. I wonder...

actually I have replied to almost all the posts. And yes the tying of the strings was a little odd!

Haha, yes I see you have replied to many. My apologies.

Can I ask, did you both kneel, side by side with an almost 'wai' pose when the string was tied and have water poured on your hands?

[harryfrompattaya]

No offence bud. But you seem to miss the key point that everyone else is hitting on. She asked you for 5 Million Baht. That's beyond nasty. Think as you will and read what people are saying but are you telling me 5 million Baht did not set alarms off in your head. I think no. 50% of the replies here all mention it and you have been ducking it like its the plague. You need to think about that slowly and carefully.

I do understand that bro, but this is her parents manipulation for their retirement plan. And maybe that will never go away hence it was all a lost cause. But when I said that was rediculous and walked away her father came back with you decide. Either way, I am talking to her father tomorrow about all this. That Is why I post here, to get the real worlds opinions... and thanks for yours!

Maybe she is really a Ladyboy? Are you Gay?

Edited January 4, 2014 by harryfrompattaya

[atyclb]

To OP and others that use internet dating sites.

PM me for the thai language expression to use in your profile that means "deception is prohibited" Very useful as it will filter most if not all of the "seeking ATM women" . You can simply copy and paste it.

[cocopops]

Most Thai girls are driven by a desire to help and support their parents, this help includes marrying for money. But just because they do marry for money doesn't mean to say ...

General rule: People very rarely do things for a single reason.

[BrutalTruthBKK]

First off, please excuse my English. It is not my first language.

My Background and why I feel I can give my 2 cents worth in this thread.

-I have been in two longer term relationships with two Thai girls. ( over 5 years with each)

- First one was a "good" girl from a middle class background, university student, etc. ( divorced after 6 yrs)

-second (current one) is a bar girl whom I met at one of Bkk s red light district. ( living together happily for 6 years)

I have seen and experienced relationship from two completely different perspective while both with Thai girls.

So here's my two cents:

-first off, a Thai girl looking for a relationship online could be considered a warning sign. Most Thai girls have dreams of marrying their "Thai" prince in shining armor as a result of watching daily soaps. I am sure you have seen these shows on Thai TV. All the plots are similar, poor girl , meets rich, handsome Thai guy, gets abused by some rich girl who have evil parents who wants her to marry the rich guy. etc. My point is there is rarely any plot where a poor Thai girl marries some foreigner. So the question is what are the reasons for her looking online? The real reasons, more often than not are that "Thai men butterfly", " Thai men poor" , " Thai men no take care family".. In my opinion , what is means is she have had relationship at a younger age with a few Thai losers. But she says no relationship in the past, but has the courage to directly post an ad on some dating site to meet foreign men ( most innocent Thai girls I know are scare to death of foreigners), hmm.. seems a bit fishy. Don't be fooled by the innocent look.

"They also have a small daughter that is maybe 6-7" - verify that it is not your girlfriend's daughter. I have seen to many cases where the younger sister/brother is actually the girl's kid.

-on the topic of dowry:

When Herbert Simon ( real estate billionaire) married Miss Universe, Porntip, his dowry was 10million usd, but he is worth a billion plus and in his 70s.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Simon_(real_estate)

In comparison, when a poor Issan farmer friend got married. He promised 30k baht to bride's parent, was able to come up with 10K baht on the day of the wedding. He gave the bride's parent a IOU for 20k baht . It was been 10 yrs and he hasnt paid it off.

In the news, you will often hear of Thai actresses getting dowry 's of millions of baht.

"2 days later while we were sitting in my hotel room she coughs out 5 million Baht"- From a Thai guy's perspective about this amount. 1. he ( the guy) is well off and can easily afford it. 2. the girl is a virgin 3. the girl is a university graduate 4. the girl family have connections/status in Thai society . If these dont apply, well it's a case of the pop's saying to this daughter , " throw out a large number and see if he bites".

Conclusion on dowry: "Face" is everything in Thailand. The more the better, but loves conquer all. Many cases of girls running away with their BF cause he cant afford the dowry. Only to show up a few years later with a kid or two in tow. There have been Thai songs written about these cases.

My advice: Go home or if you are already home good. Do a test, call your girl up and say that you have lost your job. Make up a good reason, like your company was sold or something. Does she love you? or your money when she thinks you won't have any? How is her reaction when u're down?

"2 hours later we arrive back at moms shop. Mom is upset and leaves. A starts crying. I ask her whats wrong. She asks what do you think of me? She says that there is gossip and people think we already sleep together so we cannot go out together anymore. So we only hang out at shop and with her parents after they finish work." - how old is your girlfriend? I only have had this type of experiences when I was much younger and dated girls in their teens. If she have had Thai BFs in the past and over 22 , this seems like a plot to get you to expedite the engagement and get some money to them.

"2000 Baht zoo ticket payment to make"- Sorry friend, if you're complaining about 2000b wait till you get the call from the in-laws about a leaky roof ,etc. It is customary , for the more well off person in the group to pay for everyone, Thai or foreigner. It is about "face" again.

"The engagement we had, does that follow any tradition?" yes, especially if they are chinese-Thai. There is normally an engagement party to make it known that she is spoken for.

" What I read says not really. Me having an engagement ring... is that tradition? yes, but any cheap engagement brand will do. You're expect to get a nice diamond ring for her for the wedding.

The dowry I paid, is dowry for engagement or wedding? according to her father, he wants more.

Did we just have a wedding ceremony or was it just an engagement? ans: engagement only according to her father, right? In my personally experience, no money is exchanged at the engagement, when I got married to my ex. But I have seen wealthy Thai do the engagement money. f

My final advice: This family was getting along just fine before you show up. Yes, once their daughter is gone from the house and business, they will need to find someone to replace her roles. That person is worth 15k-20K baht max in CM. If she ( your sweetly) loves you, in all fairness for her and her family I would send the in-laws 20k per month, so they can afford to hire someone. Most likely they will find some Burmese girl at 9k per month to help out.

Keep in mind, that keeping her around costs the family money, if she doesn't work outside the home. She has to eat, buy clothing, pay for internet, cell phone money, etc. So in a sense, you marrying their daughter is a financial relief for the family.

Lust and love beware of these feelings- before you make a serious commitment double check. I have seen/ heard of all types of scams related to foreign men and Thai women that I can fill a 500 page novel so beware. I can tell you're having doubts and second thoughts. you should go hire a PI to track her background.

-What is she doing while you're back home slaving away at your 9-5? She is going out with her " Thai brother"?

-Check other dating sites, did she post their too? If she did, as a friend to contact her and see if she says to him " sorry, I am enaged to someone" or does she flirts with him. If the later, run for the hills and call it a lost but lesson learned. If she is a good girl, you'll be able to find out.

-If you have a male friend coming to Thailand, have him stop by their business to inquiry about whatever they are selling. He can be you spy.

Hope this all help I spent a hr typing this, as am super slow on the keyboard.

Remember it only gets worse. My ex was a total sweet-heart when we first meet , her parents didnt want anything. it was all " up to me". But after we got married, slowly it was this and that. In the end, they soaked me for a bundle. <sligh> lesson learned. What I am trying to get at is expect this to continued.. it only get worse..Soon, you will be living together, where you will pay for everything and the money she makes goes to the family, etc. Small annoyances, but nonetheless. After years of this and that, it will have it's toll on you. What you do now, establishes the ground rules and lays the foundation of your future with your little Thai sweetie.

<editted to give happier side of Thai girl relationship>

Sometimes you can luck out like I did in my second relationship with a Thai girl. I met her shortly after my divorce at a red light district establishment. She is a poor Issan farmer's daughter, who only wanted a better life and to go to school. But after trying the 300B per day at a "regular" shop, it wasnt enough. So long story short, she is getting her PHD soon. haha no dowry , no expectations from anyone. She knows my deal with the ex and doesnt expect anything. I paid for her education. I was a poor farmer and never got the opportunity for an education, so seeing her excelled was like a check on my life's checklist.

She takes care of everything around the house , has been a great companion and friend. Oh, her family are happy with whatever and never asks for anything. I do send gifts for New Years and help out, whenever I have a compassionate heart. So I lucked out, and you can too!

GL.

PS. if you read to here, thanks for the effort. I know my writing is terrible. And you deserve a .

Reference: Private dancer is a sick ( in a good way) about the real goings of a Thai bar girl. It doesnt apply to your situation though, but a good read .

Edited January 4, 2014 by BrutalTruthBKK

[Somsrisonphimai]

OP, it sounded your girlfriend and her family are still holding the Thai traditional wedding process. Normally, your family and her family meet and discuss the dowry before the engagement. The woman's parents set dowry price depending on the family status such as wealth, education, and prominent. Your family can negotiate dowry price during the meeting. If you agree with the price, you can put down some of the money on the engagement day and have the rest on the wedding day. The ring is also part of the engagement; it does not need to be fancy or expensive ring, but then again it is depending on what the women want. Please note that the engagement can be called off at any time.

In general, for Thai couples, if they want to get married and already live together, they can bypass the engagement ceremony and start the wedding, however, the man and his family will still need to go to the woman's parents to ask for forgiveness and permission to get married and discuss the dowry before the wedding.

[tetleythedog]

HEY, that is my girlfriend and I met her on the Internet too. She loves me. Are you trying to steal her?

Lol !!! You don't pay dowry to get engaged pal. They may be what you see as a "nice family" but reading between the lines, they have done THEIR research. If she is such a "good girl" ...............why the F was she on the net? If she was so good she would have Thai men looking to marry her. Thais are very good at the theatrics, they can turn on the waterworks at will. Take a little advice and don't buy the first thing you see. If you don't want your money........ put it in my account !!!

[Somsrisonphimai]

My gf gave me 2000 Baht the other day and sent me off to have a few beers for a couple of days.

The money is fast running out though....what should I do?

So she has complete control of your bank account and you can only get your allowance?

[Somsrisonphimai]

Not a sympathisers ,90% .yes 90 % of Thai women who look for so called "relationship" with a farang man are looking for a relationship with his bank account.and dont let any Thai visa poster tell you any different

Based on the previous threads, 90% of the forum's members said their wives and girlfriends love them not their bank accounts, so not sure what are you talking about here.

[jcore]

First off, please excuse my English. It is not my first language.

My Background and why I feel I can give my 2 cents worth in this thread.

-I have been in two longer term relationships with two Thai girls. ( over 5 years with each)

- First one was a "good" girl from a middle class background, university student, etc. ( divorced after 6 yrs)

-second (current one) is a bar girl whom I met at one of Bkk s red light district. ( living together happily for 6 years)

I have seen and experienced relationship from two completely different perspective while both with Thai girls.

So here's my two cents:

-first off, a Thai girl looking for a relationship online could be considered a warning sign. Most Thai girls have dreams of marrying their "Thai" prince in shining armor as a result of watching daily soaps. I am sure you have seen these shows on Thai TV. All the plots are similar, poor girl , meets rich, handsome Thai guy, gets abused by some rich girl who have evil parents who wants her to marry the rich guy. etc. My point is there is rarely any plot where a poor Thai girl marries some foreigner. So the question is what are the reasons for her looking online? The real reasons, more often than not are that "Thai men butterfly", " Thai men poor" , " Thai men no take care family".. In my opinion , what is means is she have had relationship at a younger age with a few Thai losers. But she says no relationship in the past, but has the courage to directly post an ad on some dating site to meet foreign men ( most innocent Thai girls I know are scare to death of foreigners), hmm.. seems a bit fishy. Don't be fooled by the innocent look.

"They also have a small daughter that is maybe 6-7" - verify that it is not your girlfriend's daughter. I have seen to many cases where the younger sister/brother is actually the girl's kid.

-on the topic of dowry:

When Herbert Simon ( real estate billionaire) married Miss Universe, Porntip, his dowry was 10million usd, but he is worth a billion plus and in his 70s.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Simon_(real_estate)

In comparison, when a poor Issan farmer friend got married. He promised 30k baht to bride's parent, was able to come up with 10K baht on the day of the wedding. He gave the bride's parent a IOU for 20k baht . It was been 10 yrs and he hasnt paid it off.

In the news, you will often hear of Thai actresses getting dowry 's of millions of baht.

"2 days later while we were sitting in my hotel room she coughs out 5 million Baht"- From a Thai guy's perspective about this amount. 1. he ( the guy) is well off and can easily afford it. 2. the girl is a virgin 3. the girl is a university graduate 4. the girl family have connections/status in Thai society . If these dont apply, well it's a case of the pop's saying to this daughter , " throw out a large number and see if he bites".

Conclusion on dowry: "Face" is everything in Thailand. The more the better, but loves conquer all. Many cases of girls running away with their BF cause he cant afford the dowry. Only to show up a few years later with a kid or two in tow. There have been Thai songs written about these cases.

My advice: Go home or if you are already home good. Do a test, call your girl up and say that you have lost your job. Make up a good reason, like your company was sold or something. Does she love you? or your money when she thinks you won't have any? How is her reaction when u're down?

"2 hours later we arrive back at moms shop. Mom is upset and leaves. A starts crying. I ask her whats wrong. She asks what do you think of me? She says that there is gossip and people think we already sleep together so we cannot go out together anymore. So we only hang out at shop and with her parents after they finish work." - how old is your girlfriend? I only have had this type of experiences when I was much younger and dated girls in their teens. If she have had Thai BFs in the past and over 22 , this seems like a plot to get you to expedite the engagement and get some money to them.

"2000 Baht zoo ticket payment to make"- Sorry friend, if you're complaining about 2000b wait till you get the call from the in-laws about a leaky roof ,etc. It is customary , for the more well off person in the group to pay for everyone, Thai or foreigner. It is about "face" again.

"The engagement we had, does that follow any tradition?" yes, especially if they are chinese-Thai. There is normally an engagement party to make it known that she is spoken for.

" What I read says not really. Me having an engagement ring... is that tradition? yes, but any cheap engagement brand will do. You're expect to get a nice diamond ring for her for the wedding.

The dowry I paid, is dowry for engagement or wedding? according to her father, he wants more.

Did we just have a wedding ceremony or was it just an engagement? ans: engagement only according to her father, right? In my personally experience, no money is exchanged at the engagement, when I got married to my ex. But I have seen wealthy Thai do the engagement money. f

My final advice: This family was getting along just find before you show up. Yes, once their daughter is gone from the house and business, they will need to find someone to replace her roles. That person is worth 15k-20K baht max in CM. If she ( your sweetly) loves you, in all fairness for her and her family I would send the in-laws 20k per month so they can afford to hire someone. Most likely they will find some Burmese girl at 9k per month to help out.

Keep in mind, that keeping her around costs the family money, if she doesn't work outside the home. She has to eat, buy clothing, pay for internet, cell phone money, etc. So in a sense, you marrying their daughter is a financial relief for the family.

Lust and love beware of these feelings- before you make a serious commitment double check. I have seen/ heard of all types of scams related to foreign men and Thai women that I can feel a 500 page novel sot beware. I can tell you're having doubts and second thoughts. you should go hire a PI to track her background. What is she doing while you're back home slaving away at your 9-5? She is going out with her " Thai brother"? Check other dating sites, did she post their too? If she did, as a friend to contact her and see if she says to him " sorry, I am enaged to someone" or does she flirts with him. If the later, run for the hills and call it a lost but lesson learned. If she is a good girl, you'll be able to find out. If you have a male friend coming to Thailand, have him stop by their business to inquiry about whatever they are selling. He can be you spy.

Hope this all help I spent a hr typing is as am super slow on the keyboard.

Remember it only gets worse. My ex was a total sweet-heart when we first meet , her parents didnt want anything. it was all " up to me". But after we got married, slowly it was this and that. In the end, they soaked me for a bundle. <sligh> lesson learned. What I am trying to get at is expect this to continued.. it only get worse..Soon, you will be living together, where you will pay for everything and the money she makes goes to the family, etc. Small annoyances, but nonetheless. After years of this and that, it will have it's toll on you. What you do now, establishes the ground rules and lays the foundation of your future with your little Thai sweetie.

GL.

PS. if you read to here, thanks for the effort. I know my writing is terrible. And you deserve a .

Reference: Private dancer is a sick ( in a good way) about the real goings of a Thai bar girl. It doesnt apply to your situation though, but a good read .

Nice post.