do you have a with your wife listening to you

[wym]

Thai society is strictly hierarchical, impossible for any one individual to be considered "equal" to another.

Obviously she is above you in your family (as you state yourself), but she is teaching your daughter to "do as I say not as I do", in reminding her that she (the daughter) is below you as the father and it would be shamefully against Thai etiquette for her to be cheeky to you.

This superficial status ordering of course doesn't reflect her own family priorities, underneath it all in private the farang is usually absolutely bottom of the pecking order.

Only way to avoid this is to maintain the upper hand from the absolute outset of the relationship, takes constant vigilance, and as soon as you've removed her from her family via the marriage ceremony - which is what you pay the sin sot for - you take her physically away and only allow occasional visits.

If you stick around anywhere near her family, you end up being a mere appendage to it, irrelevant other than as a source of funds.

My rule of thumb is at least eight hours travel away, and no more than once a month visits in either direction no more than 3-4 days.

Should be mandatory reading for any farang man considering a relationship with a Thai woman. Knowing this BEFORE a relationship starts would be invaluable.

Yes, have to start as you mean to go on.

Gets much harder over time as the chivalry/feminist programming by our mothers and sisters kicks in and most girls strive to gain the upper hand over time.

Absolutely critical to lay down the law, the terms of the deal from the very beginning and then stick to them even when it seems unreasonable, pretend it's the principle.

Otherwise like water wearing down a rock they eventually end up running the show and it's game over you're a dead man.

You have to genuinely be willing to walk away at any time, they can see through any bluffing.

And of course this means with a girl of any decent intelligence, worth and self-esteem most of your relationships will only last a few years, maybe ten or twenty. But IMO that's a good thing.

[NHT]

Without reading further,

and without getting into silly "culture" stuff (gosh how do I love this incompetent excuses)

the answer is very simple

She is not interested in what you say, hence, neither in you! Full Stop.

I strongly suggest you look for someone how is. This relationship is a cul-de-sac, meaning, a one way. One need to give, the other is the receiver. Guess, again, who'll need to give!

Good luck

i have been with her for many years and she is very interested in me as we do really love each other it is not the a.t.m or my wallet it is me and we are very happy together

Wait ... you are happy - and then you waste this forum with such a crap question?

boy is there some sich folk around!

[somchaismith]

The question is, are you worth listening to?

[johnmarhall]

Without reading further,

and without getting into silly "culture" stuff (gosh how do I love this incompetent excuses)

the answer is very simple

She is not interested in what you say, hence, neither in you! Full Stop.

I strongly suggest you look for someone how is. This relationship is a cul-de-sac, meaning, a one way. One need to give, the other is the receiver. Guess, again, who'll need to give!

Good luck

i have been with her for many years and she is very interested in me as we do really love each other it is not the a.t.m or my wallet it is me and we are very happy together

Wait ... you are happy - and then you waste this forum with such a crap question?

boy is there some sich folk around!

hahahahahah you are real piece of work no one asked you to go to reply to this topic you maggot

[johnmarhall]

The question is, are you worth listening to?

what a stupid question

[Phuketboy]

As already mentioned in this thread, this does happen often, however this is not a culture thing at all. I asked this question to many Thai friends as I wanted to know the correct answer myself. Every single one of them including my partner said no it's just rude and that although many Thai people are rude in doing this, it's not everyone and it has nothing to do with culture.

[NHT]

As already mentioned in this thread, this does happen often, however this is not a culture thing at all. I asked this question to many Thai friends as I wanted to know the correct answer myself. Every single one of them including my partner said no it's just rude and that although many Thai people are rude in doing this, it's not everyone and it has nothing to do with culture.

It feels good to know, some people have a clear understanding, and don't hide behind "culture" all the time!

[pxlgirl]

hmm.. so when someone calls or comes in the room, my thai better half gives me a quick warning, such as "one moment", or "wait". On the other hand, I sometimes can interrupt others, not meaning to be rude, but rather to speak out my 1000 ideas and thoughts at once. A "let me finish", or "listen to me first" works well in such situations. I'd say certain manners are universal to some extend.

[Gandtee]

My wife speaks very good English and my grandson speaks English as if it is his first language. After twenty something years here, to my shame, my Thai is almost zilch. My excuse is that my wife and I have always communicated in English and if she had not been so fluent, I would have been adept at Thai by now?? (Blaming her) Even so, on the odd occasion that I accompany her to collect him from school, when he gets into the car the conversation is in Thai. On my protests that I am just like the hired driver my wife retaliates that sometimes it is easier for them to converse in their mother tongue.The whole conversation is then explained to me. If they had talked in English in the first place a lot of time and energy could have been saved.I do realise that the problem is mine, but I still get arsey!! With regard to being interrupted, it happens all of the time, in and out of the family. The Thai side of the family are a bit confused when my grandson says "excuse me" when he wants to join in the conversation. I suppose the smart Alec's reading this will say 'what has he done'

[lucifer666]

Happens here also. I can be discussing one subject and halfway through a sentence she can change the subject of the conversation and then return to it 30 mins later. By then, i've forgotten what i was talking about in the first place. I swear she was trained by politicians

[lucifer666]

Happens here also. I can be discussing one subject and halfway through a sentence she can change the subject of the conversation and then return to it 30 mins later. By then, i've forgotten what i was talking about in the first place. I swear she was trained by politicians

[jonesthebaker]

'do you have a with your wife listening to you'

what does that actually mean. really i just can't understand waht it means - and english is my first language?

[wym]

Do you have a problem with your wife listening to you?

I think you must have a being too literal-minded, can't fill in the blanks from context?

[thefamilyjules]

Without reading further,

and without getting into silly "culture" stuff (gosh how do I love this incompetent excuses)

the answer is very simple

She is not interested in what you say, hence, neither in you! Full Stop.

I strongly suggest you look for someone how is. This relationship is a cul-de-sac, meaning, a one way. One need to give, the other is the receiver. Guess, again, who'll need to give!

Good luck

i have been with her for many years and she is very interested in me as we do really love each other it is not the a.t.m or my wallet it is me and we are very happy together

Wait ... you are happy - and then you waste this forum with such a crap question?

boy is there some sich folk around!

hahahahahah you are real piece of work no one asked you to go to reply to this topic you maggot

The OP is not sick because of what he's written. As for 'maggot' and other gratuitous drive-bys, how about staying on topic and refraining from projections onto others?

[NHT]

Wait ... you are happy - and then you waste this forum with such a crap question?

boy is there some sick folk around!

hahahahahah you are real piece of work no one asked you to go to reply to this topic you maggot

The OP is not sick because of what he's written. As for 'maggot' and other gratuitous drive-bys, how about staying on topic and refraining from projections onto others?

As for johnmarhall, and the one who started this shoddy topic, I won't quote you on your frivolous social patterns. It's simply a waste of time.

As far as the familyjule whizkid is concerned, you are so smart, "kid" you will sure be able to explain "gratuitous drive-bys". Or was that just an attempt to join the former two?

Besides, how can someone stay on a topic where there is none from the beginning? Whiskas ... your turn again, say - something - again.

[wym]

IMO the OP topic can be summarized:

Is the fact that Thais often interrupt conversations in English due to their just being rude, or are there cultural/language factors that help to explain the phenomenon?

I think it's been pretty well answered so far, but ad-hoc personal sniping doesn't help the conversation nor the forum.

[NHT]

IMO the OP top

ic can be summarized:Is the fact that Thais often interrupt conversations in English due to their just being rude, or are there cultural/language factors that help to explain the phenomenon?

I think it's been pretty well answered so far, but ad-hoc personal sniping doesn't help the conversation nor the forum.

Can only agree, and I answered short and to the point.

However,

if other think they need to stick their sweet fingers into a beehive, then they shouldn't cry if they are stung but realise how stupid they were.

Unfortunately, this forum is crowded by attention-seekers and "i need to say something" (although they have nothing to say at all.

But let's summarize this again:

when i am talking to my girlfriend and someone comes along and interrupts she automatically turns and answers them leaving me there with my mouth still speaking i think it is very rude so does this happen to you as well or is it just my girlfriend she is a thai lady

Then he answers back (because obviously he doesn't like what I said), that they are together for a long time already and they really love each other.... Wait a minute - Where is your issue, boy? Or - are you just another attention-seeker?

Seriously, someone together for many years? And then "bothering" about something that little (is there something at all) ??

Wait, I have another question for him; "do you wonder if she is rude, because she doesn't finish her plate, but you spent so much time cooking up her favourite dish"?

Kids, get a life, will you and if you're bored, take a book and do some reading! (apparently it stimulates something. Go, give it a try)

To all others, who open their mouth and just let all their cra* fall out, expect someone to pick it up and throw it back into your mouth!

Edited January 17, 2014 by NHT

[jerry1989]

this is common especially in schools. teachers would just pop into your room and are allowed to interrupt an on going discussion, with their two eyes not blinded. Some even just pop in and in a high tome announce whatever they wanna say, never asking permission from the one in charged. On the contrary, foreign teachers always say "excuse me may I bla bla bla...", then some Thai teachers learned from it at least.

[dighambara]

In general, Thais do not understand English tone usage and Foreigners do not understand Thai tone usage.

In Thai, conversations are directed based on common Social relationships.

In English, sound fluctuations determine the process of speech - i.e. when an American has completed his comment, he (or she) drops tone slightly.

A self test is to count, out loud, to five, listening to yourself, then count to six - the '5' will have a different tone in a series vs being at the end.

Maning, YES, tones are used in all languages.