oogster8 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Kangabollox have you ever been with a BarGirl?I would rather stay single for a lifetime, my personal choice.Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand It was an interesting question you asked in your OP. However, if you have no experience with bar girls then maybe you shouldn't have started it ?? You don't have to date a bar girl to have some insight, do you think they tell their boyfriends the truth, the untruths could give a misguided view. Often men will tell themselves and others stories to make themselves and others accept their partners bar career because many are not quite comfortable with it, they will portray them to be an amazing woman who is making the ultimate sacrifice out of love for the family because of her amazing heart. Rubbish, but if it makes people feel better,why not. I had a close friend who married a bar girl, he did that, he is single now and broke, there is absolutely nothing positive about the industry. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand this is very true. the only positives are the customers seem to like it.............................lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sceptict11 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 There are some dreadful people posting here ! My wife (a Thai lady) and I help disadvantaged girls/women. We provide free help with reading/ writing /speaking both in Thai and English, assistance with arithmetic , managing money, and sexual health matters. We have 23 ladies who visit our house twice a week ------these are people who are keen to learn and improve their lives ------ Many more wish to get on the "course" but we have limited space. Some need to look at themselves and be ashamed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oogster8 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I do find it very sad that there are so many wonderful bright and enthusiastic young stunners all over the country who would love to marry a good farang. where are all these stunner? and then where are all these good farang? you believe in unicorns and flying fairies too. good farangs dont migrate to los! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munger Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Got a young friend - come down the first time to Phuket bad bf in North and hates it but it pays for her family I offered to help her get a job in a resort she liked the idea but the salary isn't enough she thinks. Not the type who sleeps with men either known her four months and only been with 4 men in that time - she wants to go back home but her bf wants to be back with her and her mother wants this also so now she is too scared. Feel sorry for girls like this and to be completely honest she is the only one I have come across, but I am sure there are many others. 2.5 yrs living here before any remarks happily married a year before any remarks there. Actually drink in the same bar but talk outside as friends . ONLY 4 men in 4 months, working as a hooker in Phuket and hates it? BUT if she got that job in a resort the salary isnt enough? and you feel sory for her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jameskrabi Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Not working as a hooker Just a bar attendee nice bar at that - sais a lot about you 5555 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I do find it very sad that there are so many wonderful bright and enthusiastic young stunners all over the country who would love to marry a good farang. good farangs dont migrate to los! Bit of an over-generalization wouldn't you say? where are all these stunner? and then where are all these good farang? Their numbers may not be a large percentage, but I've found hundreds myself personally so I know there are tens of thousands. And who's talking about the farang migrating here? Many girls are willing to go overseas, they'd only need to be here for a few weeks at a time even if the overall process takes a year or more. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Not working as a hooker Just a bar attendee nice bar at that - sais a lot about you 5555 Just understand that by traditional Thai standards going with an average of a different man every month (that you know about) isn't considered a decent girl anymore. And most farang here would consider her just barely one step up from being an outright prostitute, just working the long con rather than short time. Personally I think nothing wrong with it, and the point of the OP being "these poor girls don't have choices" I think a good counter-example, she's looking to better herself much more quickly and easily than what she can do in the straight world, given her education and current skills. Edited January 17, 2014 by wym 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munger Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 There are some dreadful people posting here ! My wife (a Thai lady) and I help disadvantaged girls/women. We provide free help with reading/ writing /speaking both in Thai and English, assistance with arithmetic , managing money, and sexual health matters. We have 23 ladies who visit our house twice a week ------these are people who are keen to learn and improve their lives ------ Many more wish to get on the "course" but we have limited space. Some need to look at themselves and be ashamed. So just tell the hookers to get a job that does not involve them lying on their backs. Big C , Tescos, and many 7/11 s are hiring. It can be difficult to find staff here with a unemployment rate of appox. zero to 1 % Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munger Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Not working as a hooker Just a bar attendee nice bar at that - sais a lot about you 5555 But you said you feel sorry for girls like that. WHY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 In the same way I feel sorry for guys that try to look for a decent long-term partner in the bars of the tourist areas. Maybe he thinks she's harming herself by choosing to trade on her youth and beauty for financial security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 The trouble is that to many sex tourist, and others do not know anything about Thailand its Politics or culture to have any idea why some girls women Work the bars. they do not understand or want to understand why 99% do it, The problem here is, that the men who go with these girls just for sex could not give a rat`s behind about the predicaments of these sex workers and to be frank, are simply not interested. To them these girls are no more than products for the providing of sexual services, they do the deed, pay the money and the relationship ends there. To the male clientèle the girls are just part of an evening out, a meal, some drinks and a woman for dessert, and that`s all these women mean to them. The women who are willing participants within the sex industries are using their bodies as a business product for providing a service as a means of earning a living. There is no fondness, glamour or dignity about it. As regards the culture and politics of Thailand, I very much doubt if the average short stay tourist could care less. Once the holiday is over, they return home and their only memories is the sight seeing and probably some of the paid sex ventures they had, which they will boast about to their mates in their home countries and nothing more than that. The reality is that the sex industry is all fake and make believe, there are no feelings involved, it`s strictly business. The men pay their money, the girls start convincing them they are God`s gift to women and still desirable to young women in their 60s or 70s. The more they pay, the more flattery will be placed upon them. Considering and placing all this in perspective, the whole scenario is rather sordid and undignified, which could be simply classified as being about money in an industry that is really just a meat market. I have been with prostitutes here in Thailand, so I am not trying to come across as being holier than thou and self righteous, I am only telling this how it is. The morality of these issues is a matter of opinion and a subject that could be debated forever. My personal view is; that if there are women willing to sell themselves for money, than so what, nothing much is ever going to change them and there will always be men keen to use these women simply as products providing a service without any thoughts for their well being or thoughts regarding their personal lives. The options are for the men; pay the money and play the game, or don`t go seeking out these sorts of adult entertainments and stay clear of it. That`s the way it is and always will be. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) It's kind of sad really because I would love to marry and take one if those girls out of the bar. However, once they start treating men as customers it's a lost cause. It's like the entire concept of love is tossed out the window and every relationship with a man becomes a business transaction. If your a farang it's ten times worst because they are taught to pray on you as a customer. I had one girl who was sleeping with me for free on a regular basis and I wanted to marry her and take her home. The problem is she expects a monthly salary to leave the bar. Why would I send money to Thialand when there is no guarantee she will ever leave the bar? How many others are sending her money? Will I ever be treated as a human being and not a customer? It's just one big heart breaking waste of time! I find it much easier and cheaper to pay the 2000-3000 Bhat and be done. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app you are far from knowing the score. Edited January 17, 2014 by manarak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2014 No disrespect, can I ask is anyone here married to or dating a current or former bargirl. You may have interesting insight into the matter. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand To the poster who said relationships with bargirls are purely financial to them, I say he is very mistaken. I have been nearly 2 years with a girl I met in a bar. Family is poor, parents are deadbeats, and after she had 3 children with her husband, he died. She is honest, loyal, not lazy, etc. can't really fault her on anything nor can I criticize her for the choices she made in life. Money has to come in somehow. She is a wonderful person and deserves everyone's respect. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) Sorry if I sound critical but it's not hard to be critical of a poor choice when other options were available. Not everyone will agree with me, I accept that, however not everyone will agree with the rosy picture of rising out of the gutter through the wonderful world of bar work that you painted in your post. The time in the bar could have been dramatically shortened, if the money went on education, something that an intelligent person as you described would have done well to do rather then suffer the unhappy bar life she did not like for over a decade. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand well, other options... some girls don't mind sex with strangers too much. And their bar life isn't too unhappy either. it's a mistake to assume that a life away from the bar is automatically better than working as a bargirl. Edited January 17, 2014 by manarak 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Kangabollox have you ever been with a BarGirl?I would rather stay single for a lifetime, my personal choice.Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand It was an interesting question you asked in your OP. However, if you have no experience with bar girls then maybe you shouldn't have started it ?? You don't have to date a bar girl to have some insight, do you think they tell their boyfriends the truth, the untruths could give a misguided view. Often men will tell themselves and others stories to make themselves and others accept their partners bar career because many are not quite comfortable with it, they will portray them to be an amazing woman who is making the ultimate sacrifice out of love for the family because of her amazing heart. Rubbish, but if it makes people feel better,why not. I had a close friend who married a bar girl, he did that, he is single now and broke, there is absolutely nothing positive about the industry. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand extrapolate from one case you know to knock all bargirls... well done. you know what, I know plenty of guys who have done the same in the West with girls that weren't bargirls, and the same happened! maybe it just has to do with poor judgement in choosing their wives? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 In the same way I feel sorry for guys that try to look for a decent long-term partner in the bars of the tourist areas. Maybe he thinks she's harming herself by choosing to trade on her youth and beauty for financial security. ummm... I have problems to follow your argumentation, because many of the girls working in bars look better than equal age ladies sweating in factories or preparing som tam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 The trouble is that to many sex tourist, and others do not know anything about Thailand its Politics or culture to have any idea why some girls women Work the bars. they do not understand or want to understand why 99% do it, The problem here is, that the men who go with these girls just for sex could not give a rat`s behind about the predicaments of these sex workers and to be frank, are simply not interested. To them these girls are no more than products for the providing of sexual services, they do the deed, pay the money and the relationship ends there. To the male clientèle the girls are just part of an evening out, a meal, some drinks and a woman for dessert, and that`s all these women mean to them. The women who are willing participants within the sex industries are using their bodies as a business product for providing a service as a means of earning a living. There is no fondness, glamour or dignity about it. As regards the culture and politics of Thailand, I very much doubt if the average short stay tourist could care less. Once the holiday is over, they return home and their only memories is the sight seeing and probably some of the paid sex ventures they had, which they will boast about to their mates in their home countries and nothing more than that. The reality is that the sex industry is all fake and make believe, there are no feelings involved, it`s strictly business. The men pay their money, the girls start convincing them they are God`s gift to women and still desirable to young women in their 60s or 70s. The more they pay, the more flattery will be placed upon them. Considering and placing all this in perspective, the whole scenario is rather sordid and undignified, which could be simply classified as being about money in an industry that is really just a meat market. I have been with prostitutes here in Thailand, so I am not trying to come across as being holier than thou and self righteous, I am only telling this how it is. The morality of these issues is a matter of opinion and a subject that could be debated forever. My personal view is; that if there are women willing to sell themselves for money, than so what, nothing much is ever going to change them and there will always be men keen to use these women simply as products providing a service without any thoughts for their well being or thoughts regarding their personal lives. The options are for the men; pay the money and play the game, or don`t go seeking out these sorts of adult entertainments and stay clear of it. That`s the way it is and always will be. You ignore the fact that many relationships which in turn often resulted in marriage (many happy and some unhappy) started in bars. It's the same as in any other aspect of life, when you meet someone and you feel "something" with that person, then more is likely to develop. Of course, some girls take men to the cleaners when the men have poor judgement and poor perception of what's going on, but in many cases the relationships and the marriages are genuine and happy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 ??? "trade on" doesn't mean "use up" or "wear out" I'd say workers in any of the industries that depend on looks for success will look better than workers in those that don't. Plus in those industries, those that don't look good tend to go away, while you can keep making som tam until your hands can't grip the pestle anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 it's a mistake to assume that a life away from the bar is automatically better than working as a bargirl. I think people making such judgement are more concerned about "better" in the sense of conforming to their religion-based morality than the actual happiness of the individuals involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oogster8 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Got a young friend - come down the first time to Phuket bad bf in North and hates it but it pays for her family I offered to help her get a job in a resort she liked the idea but the salary isn't enough she thinks. Not the type who sleeps with men either known her four months and only been with 4 men in that time - she wants to go back home but her bf wants to be back with her and her mother wants this also so now she is too scared. Feel sorry for girls like this and to be completely honest she is the only one I have come across, but I am sure there are many others. 2.5 yrs living here before any remarks happily married a year before any remarks there. Actually drink in the same bar but talk outside as friends . ONLY 4 men in 4 months, working as a hooker in Phuket and hates it? BUT if she got that job in a resort the salary isnt enough? and you feel sory for her? 1 customer a month? either very ugly or just doesnt smile. smiling really does help................lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad mary Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Is a Bargirl who comes out of the game & gets wed ,has kids,etc,. still classed as a BG(lowlife <deleted>) by you Kangabollox ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I think there's a lot more honor in being a high-end escort/call girl than what most lawyers and wall street types get up to. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 The trouble is that to many sex tourist, and others do not know anything about Thailand its Politics or culture to have any idea why some girls women Work the bars. they do not understand or want to understand why 99% do it, The problem here is, that the men who go with these girls just for sex could not give a rat`s behind about the predicaments of these sex workers and to be frank, are simply not interested. To them these girls are no more than products for the providing of sexual services, they do the deed, pay the money and the relationship ends there. To the male clientèle the girls are just part of an evening out, a meal, some drinks and a woman for dessert, and that`s all these women mean to them. The women who are willing participants within the sex industries are using their bodies as a business product for providing a service as a means of earning a living. There is no fondness, glamour or dignity about it. As regards the culture and politics of Thailand, I very much doubt if the average short stay tourist could care less. Once the holiday is over, they return home and their only memories is the sight seeing and probably some of the paid sex ventures they had, which they will boast about to their mates in their home countries and nothing more than that. The reality is that the sex industry is all fake and make believe, there are no feelings involved, it`s strictly business. The men pay their money, the girls start convincing them they are God`s gift to women and still desirable to young women in their 60s or 70s. The more they pay, the more flattery will be placed upon them. Considering and placing all this in perspective, the whole scenario is rather sordid and undignified, which could be simply classified as being about money in an industry that is really just a meat market. I have been with prostitutes here in Thailand, so I am not trying to come across as being holier than thou and self righteous, I am only telling this how it is. The morality of these issues is a matter of opinion and a subject that could be debated forever. My personal view is; that if there are women willing to sell themselves for money, than so what, nothing much is ever going to change them and there will always be men keen to use these women simply as products providing a service without any thoughts for their well being or thoughts regarding their personal lives. The options are for the men; pay the money and play the game, or don`t go seeking out these sorts of adult entertainments and stay clear of it. That`s the way it is and always will be. You ignore the fact that many relationships which in turn often resulted in marriage (many happy and some unhappy) started in bars. It's the same as in any other aspect of life, when you meet someone and you feel "something" with that person, then more is likely to develop. Of course, some girls take men to the cleaners when the men have poor judgement and poor perception of what's going on, but in many cases the relationships and the marriages are genuine and happy. If you read my first post I have said; there are always going to be exceptions to the rule and I also said that these issues are open to debate. I am neither condoning nor condemning marriages to prostitutes. What I did say is that many of these women become institutionalised and this can make these relationships extremely difficult, and to add, a lot of these women can also suffer from mental and emotional problems that can cause complications within these relationships. For me personally I would never become romantically involved with a prostitute for reasons I have mentioned above, but everyone has different opinions and some of you maybe wiling to take the gamble. It`s up to you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oogster8 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Marrying prostitutes= dont do it is the rule...................lol. Dont live with them. Pay your money and have FUN-kind of simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) The trouble is that to many sex tourist, and others do not know anything about Thailand its Politics or culture to have any idea why some girls women Work the bars. they do not understand or want to understand why 99% do it, The problem here is, that the men who go with these girls just for sex could not give a rat`s behind about the predicaments of these sex workers and to be frank, are simply not interested. To them these girls are no more than products for the providing of sexual services, they do the deed, pay the money and the relationship ends there. To the male clientèle the girls are just part of an evening out, a meal, some drinks and a woman for dessert, and that`s all these women mean to them. The women who are willing participants within the sex industries are using their bodies as a business product for providing a service as a means of earning a living. There is no fondness, glamour or dignity about it. As regards the culture and politics of Thailand, I very much doubt if the average short stay tourist could care less. Once the holiday is over, they return home and their only memories is the sight seeing and probably some of the paid sex ventures they had, which they will boast about to their mates in their home countries and nothing more than that. The reality is that the sex industry is all fake and make believe, there are no feelings involved, it`s strictly business. The men pay their money, the girls start convincing them they are God`s gift to women and still desirable to young women in their 60s or 70s. The more they pay, the more flattery will be placed upon them. Considering and placing all this in perspective, the whole scenario is rather sordid and undignified, which could be simply classified as being about money in an industry that is really just a meat market. I have been with prostitutes here in Thailand, so I am not trying to come across as being holier than thou and self righteous, I am only telling this how it is. The morality of these issues is a matter of opinion and a subject that could be debated forever. My personal view is; that if there are women willing to sell themselves for money, than so what, nothing much is ever going to change them and there will always be men keen to use these women simply as products providing a service without any thoughts for their well being or thoughts regarding their personal lives. The options are for the men; pay the money and play the game, or don`t go seeking out these sorts of adult entertainments and stay clear of it. That`s the way it is and always will be. You ignore the fact that many relationships which in turn often resulted in marriage (many happy and some unhappy) started in bars. It's the same as in any other aspect of life, when you meet someone and you feel "something" with that person, then more is likely to develop. Of course, some girls take men to the cleaners when the men have poor judgement and poor perception of what's going on, but in many cases the relationships and the marriages are genuine and happy. If you read my first post I have said; there are always going to be exceptions to the rule and I also said that these issues are open to debate. I am neither condoning nor condemning marriages to prostitutes. What I did say is that many of these women become institutionalised and this can make these relationships extremely difficult, and to add, a lot of these women can also suffer from mental and emotional problems that can cause complications within these relationships. For me personally I would never become romantically involved with a prostitute for reasons I have mentioned above, but everyone has different opinions and some of you maybe wiling to take the gamble. It`s up to you. The exceptions are so many that they invalidate your alleged "rule". You need to see things yourself instead of hearsay and reading horror stories. Bad stories tend to be relayed more anyway. For each bad story you read or hear about, there are 3 happy relationships about which your never hear a word. On the other hand I understand some people are unable to form a good judgement and therefore need to use rules to make decisions for them. EDIT: see perfect illustration above Edited January 17, 2014 by manarak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad mary Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Marrying prostitutes= dont do it is the rule...................lol. Dont live with them. Pay your money and have FUN-kind of simple. Is she still classed by you as a prostitute after marriage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oogster8 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 (edited) for every bad story you hear there are 99 others just like it and one maybe ok marriage. prostitutes out of the business for a period of time or failed prostitutes might be the exception to the rule...........................lol. Edited January 17, 2014 by oogster8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 for every bad story you hear there are 99 others just like it and one maybe ok marriage. prostitutes out of the business for a period of time or failed prostitutes might be the exception to the rule...........................lol. have you been bitten by one of your decisions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil B Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 They do it for two reasons, 1. Money 2. Find Mr Right Unfortunately once embedded in the bar there is no getting it out their system, as they say you can take a lady out of a bar but you can not take the bar out the lady. Surprisingly I have meet many girls and come to one conclusion, a real job is too much like hard work for them, they come to Pattaya because they hear the streets are paved with gold, and when they meet someone who is kind enough to help them out with some money each month, probably more than the average factory worker gets, it is not enough and back to the bars they head. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Well the "jackpot" is when they land a guy with more-than-just-enough money and get taken care of for the rest of their life. It's not just a few that get exactly that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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