hellodolly Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 The average boy, however young, tends to think a lot more for himself than the average female. That explains the discrepancy you've so plainly witnessed. Females are very easily manipulated, which is also why in time, they become in turn expert manipulators themselves. Gifts will be of no use at all in the long run; they will only foster the perception the family may already have of you being there to supply their material needs and nothing else. My advice as an MD, though i'm not a parent: leave the daughters to the care of their relations; you'll never be anything much to them all taken into account. Focus all your love & efforts on your only son, who has, to begin with, a mental make-up very much unlike that of his sisters, who must & can learn manhood only from you, & who one day may very well want to emulate you & will likely be genuinely happy to call you his dad. Good idea teach the son that women don't matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellodolly Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/685496-irrational-emotional-behaviour/#entry7101034 The OP clearly states what his estranged/ex-wife does so let's not have any more accusations of speculation. Get a grip on reality. That post was speculation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/685496-irrational-emotional-behaviour/#entry7101034 The OP clearly states what his estranged/ex-wife does so let's not have any more accusations of speculation. Get a grip on reality. That post was speculation. Though ....true 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/685496-irrational-emotional-behaviour/#entry7101034 The OP clearly states what his estranged/ex-wife does so let's not have any more accusations of speculation. Get a grip on reality. That post was speculation. My grip on reality is just fine, pal. If the OP didn't know for sure, I wouldn't have been as matter-of-fact with my description of his ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellodolly Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 What a piece of crap this has been. The OP has just complained every one is against him. Not one word of what his wife is doing or why they are not together. Could be he was out whoring every night and she had enough of it. We don't know and the OP has not came out with that information. The answers have been ridicules like he is living in another country and it turns out after 80 posts he says he is. The people that said that were just guessing. He indicated in his OP that he had seen the kids earlier in the month.m Not a word about living in another country. People say don't pay any more money. Where does he say he has paid any money to begin with? With the information he has given here I say the kids are better off. He even says they would be better off with him because he is smarter than the in law's. Whoopeewingydodo. My father had an IQ of 160 didn't help me a bit. When asked questions he evaded them until pinned down on being the real father. What was that all about? Then he comes to Thai Visa and posts how hard he has been treated with absolutely no information of what his part in the whole affair was other than he slept with the mother . He gets no sympathy from me based on the information he has neglected to post. For all these posters telling him how to solve the problem he might be a child molester for all you know. Give some real information. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellodolly Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/685496-irrational-emotional-behaviour/#entry7101034 The OP clearly states what his estranged/ex-wife does so let's not have any more accusations of speculation. Get a grip on reality. That post was speculation. My grip on reality is just fine, pal. If the OP didn't know for sure, I wouldn't have been as matter-of-fact with my description of his ex. Good Grief you speculated and then told every one else not to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Gold Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Maybe the inlaws think the girls have sin sot potential and are trying to steal them away from you? they are 6 years old.... Yes and? In order to get my ex to agree to full custody, I had to promise her that any suitor of our daughter would have to ask her for permission to marry her, and that she would get the sin sot. Our daughter was two at the time. Absolutely. I know for a fact that Thais are happy to have daughters because they will yield cash when they marry. For luk kruengs it's multiplied by 10. Your facts are out of your backside. Er... Ok... Not entirely sure what my backside has to do with this... Anyway: The people I heard that from were of Thai nationality and born and bred in Thailand. Money is an essential component at all levels of Thai society, and it isn't deemed vulgar to add a price tag to everything and mix money matters with feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) Good Grief you speculated and then told every one else not to. <deleted> are you talking about? How did I speculate when I already knew her "status" based on what was said in the thread I posted a link to? Or can't you help being stupid? Edited February 15, 2014 by HardenedSoul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellodolly Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/685496-irrational-emotional-behaviour/#entry7101034 The OP clearly states what his estranged/ex-wife does so let's not have any more accusations of speculation. Get a grip on reality. That post was speculation. Though ....true Here is the post Unknown......well....... most likely u and i can think from what her income comes from. Maybe she is a real estate agent. You are just speculating and trying to post it as fact. If it is fact say she is whoring. You have dodged damn near every thing here about your part in the whole affair and made accusations against others while you don't know what she is doing you just speculate and don't bother to tell us why she is working there. Were you giving her enough money to live on? We know nothing based on your information other than Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 What a piece of crap this has been. The OP has just complained every one is against him. Not one word of what his wife is doing or why they are not together. Could be he was out whoring every night and she had enough of it. We don't know and the OP has not came out with that information. The answers have been ridicules like he is living in another country and it turns out after 80 posts he says he is. The people that said that were just guessing. He indicated in his OP that he had seen the kids earlier in the month.m Not a word about living in another country. People say don't pay any more money. Where does he say he has paid any money to begin with? With the information he has given here I say the kids are better off. He even says they would be better off with him because he is smarter than the in law's. Whoopeewingydodo. My father had an IQ of 160 didn't help me a bit. When asked questions he evaded them until pinned down on being the real father. What was that all about? Then he comes to Thai Visa and posts how hard he has been treated with absolutely no information of what his part in the whole affair was other than he slept with the mother . He gets no sympathy from me based on the information he has neglected to post. For all these posters telling him how to solve the problem he might be a child molester for all you know. Give some real information. Child molester....haha....my kids are raised by child abusers....emotionally and fycially....not in need for ur sympathy....i started a topic....based on questions from others i answered some questions truthfully....maybe u read it all from the eye of the beholder....U.....no need for me to come on here and fabricate stories....just be happy ur not in my shoes....mr empathy.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/685496-irrational-emotional-behaviour/#entry7101034 The OP clearly states what his estranged/ex-wife does so let's not have any more accusations of speculation. Get a grip on reality. That post was speculation. Though ....true Here is the post Unknown......well....... most likely u and i can think from what her income comes from. Maybe she is a real estate agent. You are just speculating and trying to post it as fact. If it is fact say she is whoring. You have dodged dam_n near every thing here about your part in the whole affair and made accusations against others while you don't know what she is doing you just speculate and don't bother to tell us why she is working there. Were you giving her enough money to live on? We know nothing based on your information other than Yes, i was so fed up with her raising our kids...told her go make love...politely put...for money....dump the kids with ur bad sister ...let her manipulate the kids against me.....and chok dee. Ur happy now ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 The topic is about FIL behaviour and the lack of willingness to do what is in the best interest for the kids. To talk with the evil SIL that is. I have been there recently and saw the way how my kids reacted towards me. The daughters severely alienated and manipulated by SIL, under approval of the wife. My son was acting normal to a father who he has not seen for a while. My daughters were scared of me and showed totally no empathy towards me. Eventhough i expected some alienation it was still shocking to witness it. Financially i could have done all to get my daughters with me and make passports for all. This ofcourse if wife would have approved ofcourse. Best interest for the kids. I have always know that for their future it was better overhere and, as i am way better educated, i needed to be with them. Let alone learning them morals, western??, well at least mine, as i know now 1.000000% sure that they are better of with me. What is the point alienating half their blood in their simple minds by evil people. I always had hopes by correspondence with members of the family that they would know and realize that my main interest is about the kids emotional and future wellbeing. Well when i was there earlier...nothing came out of it. For them it must be absolutely no problem that my kids are being raised by a 3rd party, being alienated from me...whilst their mother is working in Patong Beach. Conclusion......it is all totally acceptable for them. I have even spoke to a thai minister in a christian church there, via fb.....he replied....kids are happy and cares totally jackshit....up to you ...he replied to when i wtote that all this brings the kids nothing....no mother and no father......they are happy.....yeah right. Hence my topic....about inlaws....for me it is incomprehensible....totally..... Look, you have our sympathy - or at least from a lot of us. Your POV is completely correct, we agree with you on all counts. The "correct" thing from their POV is that you should just disappear from the lives of the kids other than sending money of course. Keep in mind your ex will want to be re-marrying and it will be very inconvenient for their scam if the new husband (bill-payer) were to see that you're still in their lives. Question now is - what do you WANT to do about it? Then the question becomes HOW can you do that? Time and money are the only other resources you need once you've decided on your goals and are determined to achieve them. If you want further advice do please answer the important questions we've all been asking. Otherwise, what was your question? You have our agreement that you're POV is justified, yes they are evil. Stop being so "I can't believe this" get over it, that's Thainess for you, now consider where you want to go from here and we're happy to help you work through the various options. PS Stop being such a "nice guy", IMO you will not be able to do anything in the best interest of the kids unless you start to toughen up and be willing to play hardball. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timewilltell Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Well....money is ur only parameter apparantly in life....good for u. Very good. Ofcourse i can take care of them.....want to remind u as well......children are not dolls 1 can toss from one to another to take care when it suits them. They have a father and a mother.....if my wife would have wanted kids to be raised in her family she should have shagged a familymember.....right ? Erm . . . no, money isn't the only thing in my life but we're not talking about me, are we? Besides, I think you got the impression I was advocating your making a financial offer to retrieve your children. I'm not I don't think you've got enough to compensate your wife for the surrender of her own flesh and blood. Plus, of course, I'm sure you'd want them to have their mother in their lives. Even if your wife would take money - you'd need to be thinking in terms of millions of baht not thousands. Rest assured, she'll be keen to maximize her haul; even a novice hooker can blow a hundred large in an afternoon at Big C's electrical department. Man you really are quite something! Surrender her flesh and blood - which she has left festering with some half assed family member living with her own daughters, no husband and boyfriend of her daughters laying around! Right! You obviously have a firm grip of the situation. Not! Pay her as little as possible, but paying is the cheapest - otherwise the law - whatever do it quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Somsrisonphimai Posted February 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) There are always two sides of every story. In his previous threads, OP was less positive toward his in laws and the mother of his children. OP, maybe the reason your daughter is being distant from you is not because of your SIL but because you are in and out of her life, she is growing up at the age of wonder "where is my mom and dad when my friends' mom and dad are together." Why would your in-laws trying to alienate your children from you? If they only want money, they would be nice to you and take good care of your children so that you would give them money. Something is not clear here. For the record, if Thais could sit home and be with their kids all day, they would, but they don't have that luxury. They leave their children with the grandparents or immediate family members so they can find work and provide for their children. For people to say that Thais don't want to take care of their children and only want money is simply untruth! And why is OP more qualify to take care of the children than the mother of the children or her immediate family members? Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Edited February 15, 2014 by Somsrisonphimai 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 There are always two sides of every story. In his previous threads, OP was less positive toward his in laws and the mother of his children. OP, maybe the reason your daughter is being distant from you is not because of your SIL but because you are in and out of her life, she is growing up at the age of wonder "where is my mom and dad when my friends' mom and dad are together." Why would your in-laws trying to alienate your children from you? If they only want money, they would be nice to you and take good care of your children so that you would give them money. Something is not clear here. For the record, if Thais could sit home and be with their kids all day, they would, but they don't have that luxury. They leave their children with the grandparents or immediate family members so they can find work and provide for their children. For people to say that Thais don't want to take care of their children and only want money is simply untruth! And why is OP more qualify to take care of the children than the mother of the children or her immediate family members? Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Read topic of "parental alienation" in fam&children forum. Very difficult to understand if u have not experienced it urself. Let alone for a thai for it can be very normal that kids are raised by others within the family. However evilness has no nationality... Why am i more qualified u ask ? And even put familymembers in the question.....funny woman...that u can write english does not alter the way u think....shocking......kids have a father and a mother....nobody else....also by thai law........it is all money related....put face into it....u are thai so should know...or..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 What is my ability in English skills have to do with my view on qualification of raising a child? Ok, I might not have the same level of understanding about raising the child since I do not have one, but I don't think that having education and being from the west make one more qualify than the one without education, without money or without western view. I did no mean that you are not qualify. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 What is my ability in English skills have to do with my view on qualification of raising a child? Ok, I might not have the same level of understanding about raising the child since I do not have one, but I don't think that having education and being from the west make one more qualify than the one without education, without money or without western view. I did no mean that you are not qualify. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Kids have 1 mother and 1 father...that so difficult to understand ? If i want to raise, and am more than qualified to it, why would their mother dump the kids with her sister.....when she leaves them ? Without informing me.... But for many thais...i should be happy that the sister looks after them....yeah right ...am not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesWideOpen Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Maybe the inlaws think the girls have sin sot potential and are trying to steal them away from you? they are 6 years old.... Yes and? In order to get my ex to agree to full custody, I had to promise her that any suitor of our daughter would have to ask her for permission to marry her, and that she would get the sin sot. Our daughter was two at the time. That makes me feel like puking.... :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 Maybe the inlaws think the girls have sin sot potential and are trying to steal them away from you?they are 6 years old.... Yes and? In order to get my ex to agree to full custody, I had to promise her that any suitor of our daughter would have to ask her for permission to marry her, and that she would get the sin sot. Our daughter was two at the time. That makes me feel like puking.... :-( Underbelly !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyesWideOpen Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Parental alienation....Devastating for the child... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsqfiuD06_A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) What is my ability in English skills have to do with my view on qualification of raising a child? Ok, I might not have the same level of understanding about raising the child since I do not have one, but I don't think that having education and being from the west make one more qualify than the one without education, without money or without western view. I did no mean that you are not qualify. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Kids have 1 mother and 1 father...that so difficult to understand ? If i want to raise, and am more than qualified to it, why would their mother dump the kids with her sister.....when she leaves them ? Without informing me.... But for many thais...i should be happy that the sister looks after them....yeah right ...am not.So the only thing that is stopping you from be with your kids is the mother of the kids? If money is no object why don't you move next to your kids? For many Thais, they want the children to be with their parents. Why would your SIL take care of your kids if it is not for wanting to help you and your ex? At the end of the day, the in laws love the children. On the other hand, you and your ex have some serious issue. Why would your ex suddenly take your kids to SIL without informed you? Is it possible that you have done things that pissed her off? Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Edited February 15, 2014 by Somsrisonphimai 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 It might not answer his question but it tells me a lot about you. I know this could be hard to understand but with all the posts the OP has put up have you not thought it funny that he did not mention about his part in the whole thing or claim that he is giving money to the raising of the kids? Over 90 posts quite a few telling him not to give money or cut it to the bone. Many posts by the OP none of them saying he is giving money. I say Bull Crap. Oh really? What, pray tell, does my willingness to defend myself physically if need be tell you about me? Please enlighten us with your psychoanalysis - I'm practically buzzing with anticipation First of all you slate me for speculating his ex is a hooker even though I provided a link to the thread in which he confirms she is. Then, when the OP himself confirms it, you slate him saying that he is speculating If you want to criticise the OP for not providing more info, that's your right but <deleted> does that have to do with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 In order to get my ex to agree to full custody, I had to promise her that any suitor of our daughter would have to ask her for permission to marry her, and that she would get the sin sot. Our daughter was two at the time. That makes me feel like puking.... :-( If you find that surprising you don't understand Thainess very well. I wasn't surprised at all, in fact very relieved I was able to get them so cheap. When those are the stakes, you do what it takes to get the end result you're after. Now here's a good ethical debate question - should I renege on that promise when the time comes? Hopefully a couple of decades before the question arises, maybe she'll be more western by then, since she plans on moving stateside soon. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 Parental alienation....Devastating for the child... Thank u for understanding what i am trying to tell and act against. I have seen it recently with my own 2 daughters.....love of my life.....truly and truly shocking....not wish any parent the same i witnessed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalf12 Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 (edited) One thing I have not seen, and maybe I have just missed it, is why he split from his wife. There has to be a reason and it could be important in the current situation Edited February 15, 2014 by gandalf12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 One thing I have not seen, and maybe I have just missed it, is why he split from his wife. There has to be a reason and it could be important in the current situation Telling it how it is....is the reason. Whatever the reason is....it never but never justifies Parental Alienation....never... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai at Heart Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 Maybe the inlaws think the girls have sin sot potential and are trying to steal them away from you?they are 6 years old.... Yes and? In order to get my ex to agree to full custody, I had to promise her that any suitor of our daughter would have to ask her for permission to marry her, and that she would get the sin sot. Our daughter was two at the time. Absolutely. I know for a fact that Thais are happy to have daughters because they will yield cash when they marry. For luk kruengs it's multiplied by 10. Oh yeah, I await the bazillionsn for my daughter .... What a load of bs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Thai at Heart Posted February 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 15, 2014 In order to get my ex to agree to full custody, I had to promise her that any suitor of our daughter would have to ask her for permission to marry her, and that she would get the sin sot. Our daughter was two at the time. That makes me feel like puking.... :-( If you find that surprising you don't understand Thainess very well. I wasn't surprised at all, in fact very relieved I was able to get them so cheap. When those are the stakes, you do what it takes to get the end result you're after.Now here's a good ethical debate question - should I renege on that promise when the time comes? Hopefully a couple of decades before the question arises, maybe she'll be more western by then, since she plans on moving stateside soon. . . As a farang father if you can agree in any way shape or form to sin sot, then you are a very weird bloke. My daughter will marry who she loves and will be utterly free from obligation to stay with her husband if he let's her down. Sin sot is an abomination. It is not some quaint old custom and as a western dad, I will not take one satang. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 One thing I have not seen, and maybe I have just missed it, is why he split from his wife. There has to be a reason and it could be important in the current situation Telling it how it is....is the reason. Whatever the reason is....it never but never justifies Parental Alienation....never... Well that's rather vague, isn't it? Are you actually looking for help or just misery looking for company to gripe with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benalibina Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 One thing I have not seen, and maybe I have just missed it, is why he split from his wife. There has to be a reason and it could be important in the current situationTelling it how it is....is the reason. Whatever the reason is....it never but never justifies Parental Alienation....never... Well that's rather vague, isn't it? Are you actually looking for help or just misery looking for company to gripe with? Been taken along for the ride....ur happy with that answer ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now