Getting out of the bargirl / Isaan dating scene - feels great!

[slipperylobster]

if your young its proberly good for you to get out but if your old like me then this bar girl dating scene is the only option one has

Who are you fooling? Paid dates don't count.

I submit that they sure count what you paid...

[Somsrisonphimai]

Not all bar girl is bad, not all normal girl is good, it is your destiny that will steer you to who you will meet.

You are what your deep, driving desire is.

As your desire is, so is your will.

As your will is, so is your deed.

As your deed is, so is your destiny.

~ Brihadaranyaka Upanishads ~

Now I am confused. Are we creating our own destiny? Why is OP feel the need to go find the normal girl all suddenly? Could it be possible he was guided by the creator to find his normal girl?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Straight8]

The fact that I'd probably earn ten times more than the average Thai can earn probably means it would make sense for me to pay for everything.

As it is I live in the UK and sharing the costs of going out with a girl isn't a massive problem anyway as no one can afford to go out often due to the cost of everything. :-)

It never makes sense to pay for everything . . .

Only lambs to slaughter think like that.

Anyway, the OP sounds like he's made a good move but I suspect he's going to screw it up if his past behaviour is anything to go by.

Remember this is the guy who got annoyed because the locals told his ex bargirl GF that he'd brought a different hooker back to the home they shared together.

he'll be back for more horizontal dirty dancing as soon as he tires from the normal girl routine...

[Straight8]

I read your comments,i am not impressed !

These girls who work the bars , streets ect are mostly in survival mode so I would strongly advise you not to look down your nose at at them...

There is probably a minority that are in it for the money alone but most will be supporting elderly parents,children or other family members...

What did your school teacher friend do to support herself whilst going through university ???

you seriously have NFI!!!!!

[bangkokpoppys]

The OP has an interesting array of arguments on self discovery.

I'd be keen to hear your position on human rights issues associated with your discovery of the new normal you found, and any social cost implications you could identify.

[wym]

I read your comments,i am not impressed !

These girls who work the bars , streets ect are mostly in survival mode so I would strongly advise you not to look down your nose at at them...

There is probably a minority that are in it for the money alone but most will be supporting elderly parents,children or other family members...

What did your school teacher friend do to support herself whilst going through university ???

you seriously have NFI!!!!!

Well I know I don't. Why would you give more or less respect to someone doing a particular career based on how much money they're making or what their reasons are for earning it?

There's no shame in being a sex worker in any case. Doing it because your family needs the money, or being able to buy a Ferrari as a result doesn't make any difference.

[nearlynormal]

you will always get that situation when you date someone from a lower economic position ...that seems obvious to me.

you have now found an equal and will be less inclined to be thinking as the provider.

All males should read the handbook given to new bargirls in places like pattaya that tells them all the tricks to extract money from tourists....it is enlightening.That is not the place to look for love ....just for fun.

[Straight8]

Fair play at this post. I go to Climax and Hilary regularly with the TW and have quite a few friends there. It amazes me the amount of money these girls have; new cars luxury condos, frequent holidays. The guys there compete to spend the most amount of money to show off and bed them. I don't think they have ever let me buy them a drink in all the years we have been friends.

These girls are having an amazing time and know exactly what they are doing. it makes me sick with jealousy, much more fun than my 9-5 desk job.

As one poster put it, they are in survival mode.

[Rob180]

Stopped when I read "The super hot xxxxx built for nothing but sex".

who speaks like this?

These are just normal girl in not so normal situations that you are contributing to.

Yea. I love it how dudes think they can come here and girls are going to fall in love with them for their heart. Meanwhile, they're the farang is going out and drinking and banging different girls and going to massage parlors.

You will find a girl that loves you for your heart, but likely not at one of those places. Not that it's impossible. Actually I met the most amazing woman in the world at Spicy in Chiang mai. Simply phenomenal girl who happened to be there that night (for you naysayers, she's literally been to spicy 3x in her life and has NEVER been a bar girl or rubbed dick for dough). Works harder than anyone I've ever known, non-stop at her restaurants. So it can happen at those places, but it's highly highly unlikely.

There are Thai girls who will love you for real. Just got to be prepared to find someone near your own age (if you're a geezer) and be able to support yourself. We have evolved for billions of years to be the 'supporter'. The one who brings home the bread. Today that ='s dough. Not that you can't find girls who don't need or want it. I've been with several who had their own businesses and never wanted a dime from me. It was me who fuc_ked it up. So they do exist. Just got to be ready to settle down. Don't find some girl who's living with her poor farm family in the sticks and NEEDS the dough. Find a girl who is working hard at her own business and is looking for a partner in LIFE. They exist in Thailand. You just got to be cool and not broke and don't cheat. You'll do alright.

[Rob180]

The most boring statement on this and all Thai forums is the..................'she only work bar since 3 weeks ago' and the 'she only been in a particular place 3 times in her life'.

Anyone who believes either of these lines requires to be placed in the nearest psychiatric hospital and the key thrown away.

GIVE US A BREAK.

[BanTamo]

Yeh, let's celebrate and have a drink! Oh wait, the normal girl don't drink, boring, boring, boring.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Right on, nong sao! I've never met a more boring 'normal' anywhere than the 'normal' Thai woman. Let the OP enjoy his newfound innocent <yawn>. Since first setting down at Don Muang 26 years ago, at the doddering old age of 27, nowhere have I encountered a more ruthless blood sport than that played by the female predators of Thailand. Isaan or Thonglor, Rajabhat or Chula, I'll take the thrill over the chill any night of the week. It does take a toll, but boredom even more.

[Stygge]

OP came for easy women. He probably didn´t get many at home. In Thailand he found them in great numbers and they smiled and were available for him. But he is insulted when he finds out they want money one way or another from him.
The question is why the OP:s likely lack of charm and attractivness that probably kept women of his homecountry well away from him suddenly in Thailand should have reversed to an irresistable charmer for the women. Women in Thailand and in farangcountries are basicly the same but the culture differ. A non charmer in farang country is a non charmer also for the thai ladies. But they still take him on due to economical needs. And OP is astounded and insulted of this. Give me another reason why they should care about him. In his homecountry OP is probably not considered wealthy and ladies there then have no reason to overlook his lack of charm. In Thailand he is considered wealthy by the ladies and they overlook his lack of charm. The surprising thing is that OP doesn´t seem to understand that. Why on earth would they be available for him but for money? Even if they say they don´t a logically thinking gentleman should understand that moneytransfer is implied.
The girls must make a living and having sex with OP is probably not that rewarding in it self.

[Larry001]

Good luck; but why you need to write a post like that and late all the girls who have worked in a bar or live in Issan is beyond me. I know of ordinary Bangkok school teachers who have worked in bars or visited bars / night clubs with the view of meeting a farang. Maybe yours did also if you dig a little deeper

[GOLDBUGGY]

Ya! I Hear You Loud and Clear!

I was there to but now quite a few years ago. I didn't mind the money thing so much. Actually preferred it being a business transaction with some true friendship involved. Can't think of one negative thing to say about the Bar Girls I was with. All Great Girls! But Bar Girls are Bar Girls and they are their to make money. Which I fully understood from day one.

But finding someone more serious was really a nice change for me to. Still wonder once in awhile if after many years I wouldn't be better off, or perhaps the word safer, if I stuck to that way of life. But I know I am happier now and much better off now in every way. Besides, had I a stayed on the same course as I was on back then, I probably would have drank myself to death by now. As that way of life seems to fit in very well with this whole Bar Scene.

Good Luck.

[NeverSure]

Been in Thailand for 6 months. I can totally relate.Good post. I am now dating off of Thai Love Links and I enjoy meeting professional Thai ladies that intelligent and I can get to know.

Just be careful...

Even on Thai Love Links, there are A LOT of ladies (and ladyboys) for whom dating and getting your money IS their profession.

Yes, sorry I have to tell my story again. I have a lady friend who is a school teacher in rural Isaan. I visited her and her school and there was another teacher who had a Dutchman visiting her. They had met on a dating site. This other teacher was married to a Thai and he knew all about it. This teacher played on the dating sites and bled foreign men for money. When one would come to visit, the husband would disappear. He liked the setup because she was bringing in a lot of money.

NO one in that school including my friend would tell the Dutch guy the truth. He thought he had a future bride but she was married and had other marks she was also bleeding for money.

So, since the topic of school teacher and now dating sites has come up, don't believe that a woman's education or profession makes her immune from being a scammer.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Been in Thailand for 6 months. I can totally relate.Good post. I am now dating off of Thai Love Links and I enjoy meeting professional Thai ladies that intelligent and I can get to know.

Just be careful...

Even on Thai Love Links, there are A LOT of ladies (and ladyboys) for whom dating and getting your money IS their profession.

Yes, sorry I have to tell my story again. I have a lady friend who is a school teacher in rural Isaan. I visited her and her school and there was another teacher who had a Dutchman visiting her. They had met on a dating site. This other teacher was married to a Thai and he knew all about it. This teacher played on the dating sites and bled foreign men for money. When one would come to visit, the husband would disappear. He liked the setup because she was bringing in a lot of money.

NO one in that school including my friend would tell the Dutch guy the truth. He thought he had a future bride but she was married and had other marks she was also bleeding for money.

So, since the topic of school teacher and now dating sites has come up, don't believe that a woman's education or profession makes her immune from being a scammer.

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Ajaan]

Good post but where do you meet a average down to earth Thai girl?

You learn to speak Thai fluently, for starters!

[Tmymaimee]

OP came for easy women. He probably didn´t get many at home. In Thailand he found them in great numbers and they smiled and were available for him. But he is insulted when he finds out they want money one way or another from him.

The question is why the OP:s likely lack of charm and attractivness that probably kept women of his homecountry well away from him suddenly in Thailand should have reversed to an irresistable charmer for the women. Women in Thailand and in farangcountries are basicly the same but the culture differ. A non charmer in farang country is a non charmer also for the thai ladies. But they still take him on due to economical needs. And OP is astounded and insulted of this. Give me another reason why they should care about him. In his homecountry OP is probably not considered wealthy and ladies there then have no reason to overlook his lack of charm. In Thailand he is considered wealthy by the ladies and they overlook his lack of charm. The surprising thing is that OP doesn´t seem to understand that. Why on earth would they be available for him but for money? Even if they say they don´t a logically thinking gentleman should understand that moneytransfer is implied.

The girls must make a living and having sex with OP is probably not that rewarding in it self.

The illusion is that women are easy here for anyone. Its not easy getting girls at home when you're short, bald and 42, regardless of your personality, financial situation or charm. If anything, you would need more charm in order for them to overlook your shortcomings. I always had a girlfriend but nothing of the quality I see over here. I am not astounded or insulted over this. Just a little bit surprised at the lies propagated on ThaiVisa about how easy Thai girls are for anyone from a western country.

What I am trying to say is that regardless of my wealth ((very comfortable), these higher end Thai girls do not seem to care and are more interested in the qualities of me as a person. So many posters here think if you are rich in Thailand, you can have any girl you want. That is the crap that new readers start to think is true. As soon as I went past the bar Isaan scene, the higher end girls couldn't care less, never asked about money and didn't even seem to think about it. In essence, they were not for sale.

I would tell anyone moving here to forget half of what you read here. Yes, maybe if I went up to a rural village, I could find a beautiful; hardworking girl but I don't have the time to live out there.

For the poster that said I would drop my girlfriend if a Thonglor beauty gave me the time of day, well, they don't seem to give the time of day to guys parking their lamborgini to hop out and buy some PadThai (in fact, they don't even look at him), so the odds of a random street meeting are zero.

Some many of you still don't get it. The girls i want are not looking for money. If they were, I would have had one long ago as I have lots of it. For my girlfriend today, overall, she is looking for a shared future and not a player. The only way I met her was because of my unattractiveness. She feels that I am less likely to cheat (i.e. meet another non-bar girl in an unpaid relationship) because they won't be interested in me. And she's right.

[NeverSure]

Been in Thailand for 6 months. I can totally relate.Good post. I am now dating off of Thai Love Links and I enjoy meeting professional Thai ladies that intelligent and I can get to know.

Just be careful...

Even on Thai Love Links, there are A LOT of ladies (and ladyboys) for whom dating and getting your money IS their profession.

Yes, sorry I have to tell my story again. I have a lady friend who is a school teacher in rural Isaan. I visited her and her school and there was another teacher who had a Dutchman visiting her. They had met on a dating site. This other teacher was married to a Thai and he knew all about it. This teacher played on the dating sites and bled foreign men for money. When one would come to visit, the husband would disappear. He liked the setup because she was bringing in a lot of money.

NO one in that school including my friend would tell the Dutch guy the truth. He thought he had a future bride but she was married and had other marks she was also bleeding for money.

So, since the topic of school teacher and now dating sites has come up, don't believe that a woman's education or profession makes her immune from being a scammer.

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I was never alone with him and I didn't know if he spoke English. There was always either a large group, or I went to class with my friend.

[rct99q]

Priceless.OP goes on and on about the bar girls and how they are always digging into his pocket. And then states they were not like this back home!! &lt;deleted&gt;.

What country are you from the don't have whores? But I suspect you are one of those guys who is to "shy" to use whores back in your home country. Somebody might see you or get caught up in a sting and then mommy finds out. Instead move to Thailand where nobody will know you are using whores and then complain about how you can not find a decent girl!

If you couldn't pick up a decent girl back in your own country why do you think you can here. Your current girl friend is playing the long con and you will soon find out she has a family and kids and is just using you for your money. Guys like you are all the same. Suckers.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Been in Thailand for 6 months. I can totally relate.Good post. I am now dating off of Thai Love Links and I enjoy meeting professional Thai ladies that intelligent and I can get to know.

Just be careful...

Even on Thai Love Links, there are A LOT of ladies (and ladyboys) for whom dating and getting your money IS their profession.

Yes, sorry I have to tell my story again. I have a lady friend who is a school teacher in rural Isaan. I visited her and her school and there was another teacher who had a Dutchman visiting her. They had met on a dating site. This other teacher was married to a Thai and he knew all about it. This teacher played on the dating sites and bled foreign men for money. When one would come to visit, the husband would disappear. He liked the setup because she was bringing in a lot of money.

NO one in that school including my friend would tell the Dutch guy the truth. He thought he had a future bride but she was married and had other marks she was also bleeding for money.

So, since the topic of school teacher and now dating sites has come up, don't believe that a woman's education or profession makes her immune from being a scammer.

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I was never alone with him and I didn't know if he spoke English. There was always either a large group, or I went to class with my friend.

I was expecting you to say mind my own business and keep out of trouble. But then you would want someone to tell you if your GF has been playing you. There is no secret, it is out there that there are some women so called normal girls, who are married to Thai men, but have several farang boyfriends.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Tmymaimee]

Priceless.OP goes on and on about the bar girls and how they are always digging into his pocket. And then states they were not like this back home!! &lt;deleted&gt;.

What country are you from the don't have whores? But I suspect you are one of those guys who is to "shy" to use whores back in your home country. Somebody might see you or get caught up in a sting and then mommy finds out. Instead move to Thailand where nobody will know you are using whores and then complain about how you can not find a decent girl!

If you couldn't pick up a decent girl back in your own country why do you think you can here. Your current girl friend is playing the long con and you will soon find out she has a family and kids and is just using you for your money. Guys like you are all the same. Suckers.

Because maybe being 5'5" in Thailand isn't the same freak show it is in the West? I was never complaining; only stating that some ThaiVisa posters outright lie about how easy Thai girls are to hook up with.

Playing the long con? Are you for real? Do you mean to imply that 5 years from now, she will put a gun to my head and demand my PIN? This long con crap is another ThaiVisa myth I read on here. So you meet a real sweet girl with no bar connections. no family in financial distress, no hints at buying an Issan homestead, yet its all an act? After all, no self respecting Thai girl really wants to be seen with a foreigner?

So going to work everyday, finishing an education and not sleeping with you on day 1 is all part of an elaborate scam to extract my life's savings? Oh sorry, also hiding her Thai husband and coaching her friends and family on what to say to me…..

Yes, my Thai ex wife walked away with 30 million baht. There was no scam. I was the stupid one and deserved what I got as had I stayed out of the bars, we would still be married. And we started with nothing together and jointly built up a successful business by working long hours together, everyday. Of course a ThaiVisa reader would say she just scammed me. More likely I scammed her youth and innocence by becoming a complete jackass when visiting Thailand with her.

[wym]

What I am trying to say is that regardless of my wealth ((very comfortable), these higher end Thai girls do not seem to care and are more interested in the qualities of me as a person.

-----------

Some many of you still don't get it. The girls i want are not looking for money. If they were, I would have had one long ago as I have lots of it. For my girlfriend today, overall, she is looking for a shared future and not a player. The only way I met her was because of my unattractiveness. She feels that I am less likely to cheat (i.e. meet another non-bar girl in an unpaid relationship) because they won't be interested in me. And she's right.

5555555

[wym]

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Why on earth would you do that? Major mistake, absolutely no upside to that, it's headaches all the way down. Just because he's a fellow male farang?

[Somsrisonphimai]

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Why on earth would you do that? Major mistake, absolutely no upside to that, it's headaches all the way down. Just because he's a fellow male farang?

Would you want someone to tell you if your GF has been playing you?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Daniel Boon]

well I think the OP is young and has no idea of the hundreds of millions of wifes/partners waiting at home for the bread-winner to bring home the pay cheque ... and if he marries this lady he is going with and they have a baby, will he be asking her to go 50/50 with all expenses? Grow up some more and then write about life ... (my 2 bobs' worth)

[wym]

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Why on earth would you do that? Major mistake, absolutely no upside to that, it's headaches all the way down. Just because he's a fellow male farang?

Would you want someone to tell you if your GF has been playing you?

How is that relevant?

I'd like you to come by my house and give me free foot massages every Friday after work.

Does that mean I have some obligation to do that for you?

You think I should be going up to every fool I meet and "educating him" about how he's being scammed by his teerak?

Why would I ever do that? I've tried in the past, lots of friends have too and EVERY TIME it ends badly, either they guy already knows the score and doesn't care, or he doesn't (want to) believe you and hates you for insulting his girl.

The girl and her friends and family and husband are now lining you up as the bad guy, can often actually be dangerous. . .

And to be honest, I'm part of the Thai community here much more so than "on the side of" some silly farang newbie who would've learned ten times more than I could ever teach him in a full-day seminar, just by coming around here and reading for a while.

Good on the girls, they're clever and doing their country a good service raking in the foreign exchange selling some old fool a fantasy he's constructed for himself.

Not my business!

[ttthailand]

Everyone has there own experience with these girls. Most of these girls, bar or normal girl, can fall in love. If they do fall in love with you and you with them your relationship will be great....the problem is when you fall in love and they only play the game. This is the key ! How do you know what their true feeling are ... This could be a topic of its own.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[Somsrisonphimai]

How come you did not tell the Dutch man about it?

Why on earth would you do that? Major mistake, absolutely no upside to that, it's headaches all the way down. Just because he's a fellow male farang?

Would you want someone to tell you if your GF has been playing you?

How is that relevant?

I'd like you to come by my house and give me free foot massages every Friday after work.

Does that mean I have some obligation to do that for you?

You think I should be going up to every fool I meet and "educating him" about how he's being scammed by his teerak?

Why would I ever do that? I've tried in the past, lots of friends have too and EVERY TIME it ends badly, either they guy already knows the score and doesn't care, or he doesn't (want to) believe you and hates you for insulting his girl.

The girl and her friends and family and husband are now lining you up as the bad guy, can often actually be dangerous. . .

And to be honest, I'm part of the Thai community here much more so than "on the side of" some silly farang newbie who would've learned ten times more than I could ever teach him in a full-day seminar, just by coming around here and reading for a while.

Good on the girls, they're clever and doing their country a good service raking in the foreign exchange selling some old fool a fantasy he's constructed for himself.

Not my business!

Please take a chill pill, I get it. I was just wondered how would people handle this type of situation.

Only a very small percentage of women that do certain kind of thing by the way.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Water Buffalo]

It is good that you have found your way out of that. But your attitude towards "them" in general stinks. Of course, the girls who treated you badly don't deserve a good attitude from you, but i am sure many of them aren't all "leeches built for sex". And if you saw one of those pole-dancing girls out in the farm you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Most sex workers come from villages in Isaan anyway.

I am not trying to be too critical because i was once used like an ATM machine by an Indonesian girl (my Ex...and she was a primary school teacher in Java and Bali), but your attitude to them in general is quite bad. They are just normal people usually with a family hounding them for money all the time and they couldn't care less what their daughters/sisters have to do for it, so long as it keeps coming. Some families have some pride and respect and don't treat their children that way - no matter how poor they are.

Funnily enough, i met an Isaan village girl in a bar in Sukhumvit. Not a prostitute bar. One of the nicer ones. She's a real keeper. Almost 5 years later, we have a daughter together and everything is fine. Her family have never bothered me for a single satang. Neither has she. She would often pay for small things (taxis, coffee, food) and buy me gifts (t shirts n stuff). She stuck with me for over 2 years when i was a cheap charlie backpacker. All her work mates, who are not so savory, told her she was stupid for staying with me (they typically prefer to have multiple rich 60 year-old boyfriends/sponsors). I understand that she is probably among the minority of girls in the bar scene, but still.

Many people would say i am victim to the "long-con", but she already has a house built in her name and hasn't left me yet. Nothing has changed.

Anyway, i hope everything works out for you and i understand how you feel as i have been there before, but you should try to put yourself in their shoes before you judge. People act in many ways for different reasons. The mind of the human being is very complex. Think of how many guys spend their lives sitting in Nana and want to stop, but can't. We are very strange creatures, but for girls it's less about sex.