Condo neighbour constantly accuses me of causing noises

[kandi]

Short version:

My neighbour who lives in the room under me has been accusing me of causing noises for the past 2 years even though I'm as quiet as one can be.

Long version:

So I have this neighbour. She lives in the room under me (I live in a condo) and complains every few weeks about noises that allegedly come from my room. It's been going like this since I moved in there more than 2 years ago.

For the first two months or so my room was rented in the name of a Thai friend of mine. So whenever my neighbour complained (she never complained to me directly but went straight to the condo management), the condo management called my friend who forwarded it to me.

I was a bit surprised since I don't remember being loud at all but that doesn't have to mean anything. So I apologized over the management since nobody wanted to give me her number because of "privacy reasons".

Time went on and she kept complaining. Every three, four or five weeks I got a phone call from the management with the same content, sometimes by knocking at my door even at midnight.

It all got a bit weird when after one year I got another call and were accused of making loud noises in a time my girlfriend and me (we're living together) weren't even in Bangkok. I told them that and said it looks like this neighbour has been accusing the wrong one but nobody reacted to that.

One day the management asked me to come to my room to see how much noise could be heard from the room below. I agreed, hoping it would prove my point of view. I took a day off to be there at the time they wanted to come. They showed up half an hour late even though their office is in the same building.

Three people came into my room and looked around, opening and closing the doors, turning light switches on and off and dropping several things to see how the noise is being heard from below. Without asking for permission they went into my bedroom and even went that far to open some of my drawers in which my girlfriend put some of her clothings. I was about to ask who the hell they think they are but hold myself back because I didn't want to make a rude impression.

They left and I never heard of anything regarding this "inspection" again.

A few months ago they said the room owner wanted them to install something in my room. Without telling what it was they showed up a few days later and attached some metal thing on the top of my bedroom door that automatically closes it. I think you know what I mean.

They took three hours (!). After they had left, I tried it and immediately hated it. Usually my the door to my bedroom is opened during the day, I only close it when I sleep. Now I had to open the door whenever I went into the bedroom or left, causing a lot more unneccessary noises. After two days I took a screwdriver and took it off because I didn't see even the slightest advantage of it.

A few months ago I found a letter in my mailbox. Two pages, hand-written by my neighbour, in Thai, who again brought up the accusation in a very rude way. At that time I got a bit pissed. I've been living in condos and flats for all my life, I do know how to behave when there's somebody living under or above you. I'm always quiet in my room, I almost never have friends over, I never watch TV and I listen to music only through my headphones.

After I got that letter I went straight to the management. I told them I'd like to speak to the person who wrote this letter, right now. They said that was not possible, they wouldn't even give me the number. At that time I knew nothing about the person that kept complaining for the past one and half years, no name, no number, not even her gender.

I asked them to knock at there door and tell them I'd like to talk to them. They again said they couldn't do that since it was 20:00 already. I asked why is it they have no problems waking me up at midnight refuse to knock at their door at just 20:00. After a long pause they agreed.

One of the staff went up and asked them to come down for a few minutes to have a talk. My girlfriend and me waited in the management office. After about 10 minutes they showed up. It was a couple, and it was clear that the woman was the one who was wearing the pants.

I showed her the letter and asked in Thai why she writes to me in such a rude manner. She apologized and said she was a bit in a rage. And why did she never mention her name or her number? She said the management had suggested her not to contact me directly since there have been incidents where this led to "an argument".

I told her what I had told the management all the time before. That it was close to impossible that I caused any noises that were above the normal noises people do when they move in their room. I told her I almost never turn on TV, I always use headphones when I use my laptop, I move quietly so that I can't even hear my own steps, I open and close the doors only when I go to the bathroom.

She sticked to her version, though. She said both of them had to wake up early, and sometimes they felt so disturbed that they had difficulties sleeping. I asked what time they went to bed and they said around 23:00. I answered that during that time I'm sitting on the couch most of the time and do some stuff on my laptop, in my living room which is not even above her bedroom.

She said that before I moved in there were no problems with noises. I told her that the one who lived there before was the friend in whose name the room was for the first months and that this person has rarely been at home because she lived in her boyfriend's room most of the time.

Sometimes my girlfriend had to help me translating a sentence, and after a while the woman accused her of translating it wrong even though - as she had told me before - didn't speak any English at all.

At the end of the talk I asked her to come to me directly next time she feels disturbed instead of going to the management. She agreed. The complains became less, finally.

A few days ago I got a note on my mailbox that she had sticked on the outside instead of putting it inside so everybody could read it. The usual accusations again. I answered with a two pages long letter in Thai and explained everything again, closing it by saying that I have done everything I could and that if she still feels disturbed, she may be a bit too sensitive. In fact, there're living people in this condo who are far louder than me. Some have big parties, listen to loud music, bang the doors or even play the guitar. Apparently this does not disturb her at all.

Until now she hasn't answered my letter, and I think that won't change. But I know it will only be a matter of time until the complains continue. I really have no intention of being on a warpath with any neighbours, that's why I always stayed polite and tried to answer all of her needs as much as I could. But I certainly won't let her limit my daily life. I don't want to move through my room on tiptoe or whisper when I talk to my girlfriend. I think I have the right to live a normal life, and since none of my former neighbours has ever complained, I'm 100% sure I have reduced every possible noise to the minimum already.

Long story, short question: How can I solve this conflict without moving to another condo? Telling her that I don't cause any more noises than normal and sometimes not even being in my room when she accuses me of the opposite apparently doesn't help. All I want is her to stop complaining and let us live next to each other in harmony.

[HooHaa]

its obvious. you cant.

[wym]

You can't stop her complaining.

You can ignore it.

Perhaps prepare for her escalating the complaints with a lawsuit or something by setting up a sound-activated recording system, occasionally using a calibrated volume sample noise as a sample benchmark.

Compress the sound files at mono poor quality and they won't take up much disk space at all.

[heist666]

Tell her it's the condo is haunted and ghosts are causing the noise and she'll probably move out.

Honestly though I'd refer her back to the manager and let them deal with her bullshit. She sounds a bit crazy.

Edited February 24, 2014 by heist666

[wym]

Maybe wants to buy that unit to create a duplex.

[singa-traz]

Bring a cake to the discussion table and assume positive intent from her part.

If noise is perceived coming from door / chair, furniture pads could be used.

Anyway, stay positive and welcome this as an opportunity to practice conflict management you can add this to your CV later.

[thaifkrlim]

you stomp with your heavy heel bone & the floor/ceiling concrete contains hollow sounding spots/cement screed too thin, the noises may come from her neighbours unit below or beside her

[kimbathewhitelion]

Congrats on your patience however I didn't read the entire novel, regardless of whatever, I would jump up & down to torment the lady below, esp., around 3am. If own the condo, would tell the management to f-off but if rent would take it up with the owner & then tell the management to f-off. In Thailand, it's all about money & rent (money) is more important than life with the Thai.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Lucifer]

Clamp a loudspeaker to your floor and play haunting sounds randomly throughout the night. Remove the speaker during the day. Mention to the management that you've also heard noises that you can't explain.

[Lockheed]

1 - You don't know the mental state of this person, so don't assume the neighbour in normal.

2 - The noise is probably coming from somewhere else in the building and being echoed into her room.

3 - Sweetener up mate, if she likes you, that'll be half the problem solved.

4 - How old is she, maybe she's jealous of the bedroom noise, get one of your mates to chat her up and give her the same pleasure.

5 - If it falls into a heap, make more noise then go back to the way you were, then the neighbour will think this is more acceptable.

[Soutpeel]

What a long read...but glad at the end of it the OP asks for solutions

I was expecting the punchline to be "so like how do I sue the buliding owners/lady in the condo below for emotional distress ?"

[Soutpeel]

Tell her it's the condo is haunted and ghosts are causing the noise and she'll probably move out.

Honestly though I'd refer her back to the manager and let them deal with her bullshit. She sounds a bit crazy.

Yeap....ghosties and spririts, if its good enough for a Thai airline... good enough for you...

strap a speaker to floor and start playing ghost noises...silly cow will sh*t herself...

Edited February 24, 2014 by Soutpeel

[nottocus]

Counter-complain. Tell the management that now you can't sleep as loud noises from the woman's room are disturbing you.

[Kitsune]

The fact that she lied about her English abilities is a give-away.

She's obviously making it up.

You know it, the management knows it, but won't tell her to shut up, you're cooked.

In a survey 57% of Thai declared they would not like to have a Farang as neighbor.

She's probably on of them and has decided to act on it and boot you out.

Unless you turn the management in your favor (very unlikely) so they just tell her to stop, you're toast.

[Cylon]

Thai construction methods leave alot to be desired. I live in a block of 3 shop houses. The middle one is empty at night.The noise from the the far end one travels through the walls,so it sounds like they are right next door.They own a hammer and are not afraid to use it. Maybe it not even you,but someone else.

[thailandbeachisland]

You rent ? So just leave !

[Skint]

Just tell her if she wasn't there then it wouldn't happen.

[draftvader]

The way that sound can travel through the supporting walls in condo/apartment blocks can be quite disorienting. Added to this most condo blocks have a "wet wall" space where the pipes for all condos/apartments travel down. These are rarely "insulated" between floors. I have experienced unusual acoustic effects from eaves, nearby building reflection and walls carrying sounds. There have been sounds that I could have been sure came from downstairs that actually came from 2 doors along.

Almost all builds in Thailand do not have construction that is "out of sight" (because if nobody can see it then the money does not need to be spent and can be creamed off....). This leads to all sorts of differences in the acoustic properties of a building.

Maybe you can go to her and (even if it is a slight untruth) tell her that you've been noticing odds sounds too since she mentioned it to you and maybe the next time she experiences these noises you can look together? At very least it will give you a "common ground" to fight these "invisible intruders" and will divert her attention for some time. Another poster suggested cake....not a bad way to open this "new" relationship.

Edited February 24, 2014 by draftvader

[draftvader]

Thai construction methods leave alot to be desired. I live in a block of 3 shop houses. The middle one is empty at night.The noise from the the far end one travels through the walls,so it sounds like they are right next door.They own a hammer and are not afraid to use it. Maybe it not even you,but someone else.

Total aside but I remember staying in an apartment in Ulan Bataar, Mongolia where, at midnight, the tenant below started up with a drill and a hammer. Apparently they had just moved in and wanted to get settled immediately. Another occasion in UB we were kept awake by a "wrestling party" in the apartment above. Turns out that drunk Mongols like nothing more than to strip down to their pants, move all furniture to the edges of the room and wrestle through the night!

[kannot]

start making a lot of noise and see what happens then

[FireMedic]

100% say you hear the ghosts and spirits that are angry at a woman in the building, but they don't say who. Say they speak an old version of Thai that you don't understand completely, but they are angry and won't leave until the she leaves....

[Professor Kevin]

I had a similar problem but it was I who lived below and suffered.

A door slamming hooligan Brit, his Thai girlfriend and about 6 or her up-country relatives rented the 1 bedroom condo above me. Constantly dragging furniture around, sounds of people jumping around, water leaking thru the bathroom ceiling destroying my drywall...even pounding away making som tum on the floor(my ceiling) late at night.

I complained so often they management didn't want to hear it! Get rid of the complainer was the solution.

So I moved out and the management was happy........

My landlord lost a good reliable renter and the above apartment got destroyed.

Reason #999 for not investing in Thailand. Too many morons in charge.

Edited February 24, 2014 by Professor Kevin

[simon43]

Noise??? What noise??

[rak sa_ngop]

I just wish more Thai people would complain.

I am getting fed up going to the condo offices telling them all the faults (all genuine I assure you) and getting these blank looks.

Tarnishes us farangs with a bad reputation. Thais don't seem to mind sitting watching crappy satellite TV picture quality with leaking water stains on the ceiling and listening to knocking water pipes.

Or do they?

[Professor Kevin]

I just wish more Thai people would complain.

I am getting fed up going to the condo offices telling them all the faults (all genuine I assure you) and getting these blank looks.

Tarnishes us farangs with a bad reputation. Thais don't seem to mind sitting watching crappy satellite TV picture quality with leaking water stains on the ceiling and listening to knocking water pipes.

Or do they?

Complain about a Thai and the retaliation can be off the charts. That's why Thais don't complain.

A Thai landlord I know has lost millions due to the police owned karaoke bar next door. Renters just moved out.

The guy is afraid to complain. He has to "worry about his wife and kids" he said.

Get rid of the complainer is what will often happen.