My 6 month conclusions on Thailand (and the women)

[Scarpolo]

I am sure, no one will be sorry to see me go, and the posting will naturally fade once I am back in the States, but

I had a great first time experience in Thailand despite having to jump thru the immigration hoops and leave the country repeatedly before I obtained my first multiple (double) entry visa, but even that is a hassle, requires an immigration stamp and an exit to be vaildated, so, rather than jump through all that, again, and more needless expense, and with the oncoming more brutal heat of the summer,

I am leaving for a while, probably for good, but

how long depends on what I think of America this time around

but here are some things I learned

1) Thai's are not anti american, in fact, I found them to be very friendly

2) Thai's work hard, and for very little. People in the states have no right to complain

3) real wealth opportunity does not seem to exist here for the young

4) there is a burgeoning young middle class, but they have lost their sense of value and perspective as iPhone, iPads and tech gadgets are far too important, as equally valueless as america's youth, and their parents will not be there for them in the next downturn

5) McDonalds and their pink slime burgers and KFC are sure to create more heart disease and hypertension than their helath care system can deal with, and I dont even know if there is genuine health coverage here, but, their diets are already bad, now they are doomed

6) the Thai's are getting ripped off royally and grossly over charged on "imports" and the quality here sucks

7) the fact that girls support their mothers, is absurd, but, their reality, and keeps me from being serious with the girl I am with as she is fleeced royally by her mother and her brother's kid

8) my girlfriend has more aunt and uncles and neices and nephews than I have ever seen, including her fathers second family, and they all expect her to "help out" when called

9) Thai girls are as honest with you , as you are with them, I didnt see anything in my experience that caused me concern

10) the advice I received from well intentioned friends, caused me to be more suspicious than I should have been, and that caused sorrow for both of us as simple miscommunication was easily blown out of proportion.

11) all girls want to be loved, whether they be thai or martian, and all they want is honesty, which I have no problem with

and finally,

the reason I was able to keep a young girl interested in me, is not because of money, but because, she was number one, and not number two.

due to the nature of her work when we met (she stopped for me) she has met innumerable men (all Thai) who promised her the world, condo's houses, cars money, to have a baby, or to be Mistress number 2, or 3 or 4, and she always declined wanting to be number one,

once she realized I wasn't playing her,

she opened up, and we had a great experience,

but other than playing music with some awesome professionals here,

to return here just to be wtih a girl who will most likely go back to her profession within weeks or months after I leave,

is likely a non starter, but anything is possible.

She also doesnt want to come to the states, so, I am not expecting to see her again.

That this happens to many thai girls, is a shame, and I blame it on their immigration policy that keeps people out

and keeps them in, but, it is her choice to stay here and she accepts her lot in life.

All that said,

many of the posters I have read here on Thai visa have had very poor reviews of the thai people and especially the working girls

I come away from my experience here with more respect for the girls who are honest about who and what they are, than many of the girls I had known in the states, who were always "trying" to be something they were not; starting with honesty.

I found the people here honest and without aggression.

I do not know that I will find that back home, but, I am hopeful.

One thing is certain:

At 54, with a g/f 32, there is no way I will get involved with a girl over 40 again, unless I am 65 perhaps, but now? No way

Edited March 13, 2014 by Scarpolo

[benalibina]

Have a good flight back.

[Lockheed]

You've provided some good reading along the way, so good luck with the future.

[beachproperty]

Good Post!.....sounds like you had a Great time in Thailand.

Not sure what you're really looking for BUT the immigration thing seems to have bothered you most. Why not go for a "retirement visa" where the hassle is minimal. Renewal once a year (less than an hour at immigration) and 90 day reporting (less than 15 minutes)....at least that has been my experience for the last 10 years. If that is TOO MUCH of a hassle for you to deal with to stay here .....then I agree with benabilina....."have a good flight back".

As for the women and having to take care of their family......this is Thailand and it is actually one of the things I like! In America the "old folks " are disposable and put in "homes" once they are no longer useful....SAD!

I have been lucky in my 10 years here as extended family have not asked much, so when I give to them its because I want to! Many are barely in survival mode and the little I give helps out greatly! I am happy to do it.

[Somtamnication]

Written at 4 a.m..

[daoyai]

very typical first time or tourist perspective, only the surface has been scratched.

[meatboy]

when you've had over 30yrs experience of Thailand then you can come to some conclusions.

6months doesnt give you time to wet your whistle.

[wym]

'bye, some interesting discussions

fly straight and be safe

[Ricky from Brisbane]

when you've had over 30yrs experience of Thailand then you can come to some conclusions.

6months doesnt give you time to wet your whistle.

I know you are saying that joking like becasue you have the smiley

It dont matter if you are in Thailand for 2 months or 2 years or 30 years, it is all experience and you can make conclusions any time.

[inzman]

Perceptions Change over time, yours will too over time and with more experience. I've been here ten years and my reality still changes frequently.

[Suradit69]

when you've had over 30yrs experience of Thailand then you can come to some conclusions.

6months doesnt give you time to wet your whistle.

I know you are saying that joking like becasue you have the smiley

It dont matter if you are in Thailand for 2 months or 2 years or 30 years, it is all experience and you can make conclusions any time.

" ... it is all experience and you can make conclusions any time."

Yes, but you needn't feel compelled to thrust those conclusions on an innocent and unsuspecting world.

In the wonderful world before Facebook and Twitter people realized that their conclusions about anything after 2 months or 6 months were probably superficial, childish and naive and they wouldn't rush to publish them because, again before Facebook or Twitter, they knew that they wouldn't get past some editor who would realize they were superficial, childish and naive.

In the past we would just wait until the start of the next school year and offer our conclusions in the inevitable "What I did during the summer holidays" essay assignment and our teachers would lie to us about interesting it all was.

Someday we'll look back on this period in history as the time verbal diarrhea and over-sharing ran amuck.

Edited March 14, 2014 by Suradit69

[4evermaat]

Refreshing insight, and I agree that the thread will eventually get overrun by some religious, feminist, or fear mongering troll. To add to your insights, keep in mind:

- Thailand social programs are very basic. It does not attempt to make themselves responsible for everyone's wants.

In exchange, life is simple, sovereignty is up to the individual, and cost of living is cheaper.

On a whole, developed countries tend to take material gain and infrastructure more seriously and with more complexity than developing countries.

- Credit can make people APPEAR wealthy in America, very few people are truly that "fortunate" with liquid cash. You find that out very quickly when you run out of credits.

- I found out that health or wellness is much more than the technical details of the food diet. In other words, stress-free lifestyles, regular exercise, cheap access to produce all contribute to a healthy lifestyle; perhaps more than we realize.

The amount of sweets consumed here is insane, yet the teeth of the majority of the adults appear healthy.

- wanting makes the whole credit system go round worldwide. Some things are expensive in some places and other things are cheap; depends on the culture and what the consumer market there values the most.

- I think it is a choice for the thai girl in terms of how much help they want to give their family. Depends heavily on the 'want 'level of the girl and the family.

- I dont think that the thai girls available/looking for suitors have much to hide. Suiting in this region in general is much more objective, where as in the west the concept of romance has us chasing women and making a load of assumptions about the future. So we tend to hide negative stuff until after we chain down the person (marriage)....then reveal the other stuff only when it is safe to do so.

I had a womanizer friend introduce me to thailand and I respected his honesty. He showed me that you could be honest about your intentions and still get women to stick around.

If we took away the monetary incentive, humans would still want to 'do it', right?

- Next time try to secure a non-imm or double entry before you come; use an honorary consulate.

IMO, Thailand is really just a scaled down version of America when it comes to the materialism. A mini-Joneses of wanting the latest gadgets. It's just more of a choice here to pick if you want those toys. In the west, its almost impossible to even have a basic existence WITHOUT some form of credit unless you are born into a high [liquid] net worth family. Credit comes in a lot of forms, but it is the liquid credits (cash) that gives us the most freedom.

"You dont need to learn to love yourself; you just need to UNLEARN all the reasons you reject yourself..." -sent from TV app (Note 2).

[mamypoko]

Safe flight, brother.

Does Taco Bell cause heart disease? That's how I wanna go.

[maccaroni man]

Spring is a good time to be in the USA and South America is not far to travel having said this I do believe se Asia is a great place to be a man.

[bobmac10]

Thailand has a culture which was based around feudal economics and strong religious/superstitious beliefs. (the religion counterbalancing the supertitions).

Really, not much has changed in the Thai culture, there is now a veneer of modern western consumerism but underneath this, the traditional Thai way of thinking pervades every day life.

The avarage Thai doesn't expect to have a real opportunity to have a say in the way Thailand is run, and therefore the way their life might evolve, that's left to those who have always run it. They are more likely to believe in luck or chance through prayer and other means of invoking good fortune.

it's going to take a long time for real democracy to take hold here, for Thais to embrace egalitarianism and to recognise that the traditional heirarchical structure of wealthy overlords ( and the corruption it encourages) doesn't fit into a proper democracy.

[CharlieH]

I will just simply say, "see you later", because judging by your post, you enjoyed yourself and you will miss it after a few months back in the states.Time will tell. Safe travels.

[kjhbigv]

Everything you have stated is 100% of a stereotypical first-timer on holiday believing any BS a bar girl dishes out!

You have a lot to learn!

But no disgrace, a lot of us have been there....including myself!

On a more positive note there are "real" girls out there, BUT they don't frequent places like Loi Kroh in CM and you have to find them, which takes time and patience.

Anyway, you have been entertaining and have always been honest...so respect...good luck and maybe next time you can get past the bar girl (however she may be disguised) dribble!

Edited March 14, 2014 by kjhbigv

[Berkshire]

Scarpolo, that's a pretty balanced and fair assessment in your OP. I'm astonished. Some of your other posts on other threads (from my limited recollection) always seemed a bit anti-Thai. Anyways, good luck to you.

[JHenry]

"due to the nature of her work when we met (she stopped for me)", the same old sad story. You could just keep this sentence and stop there.

[Metapod]

54 yeas old and u think a young girl went anywhere near you for any other reason but money? Lol

[Ricky from Brisbane]

when you've had over 30yrs experience of Thailand then you can come to some conclusions.

6months doesnt give you time to wet your whistle.

I know you are saying that joking like becasue you have the smiley

It dont matter if you are in Thailand for 2 months or 2 years or 30 years, it is all experience and you can make conclusions any time.

" ... it is all experience and you can make conclusions any time."

Yes, but you needn't feel compelled to thrust those conclusions on an innocent and unsuspecting world.

In the wonderful world before Facebook and Twitter people realized that their conclusions about anything after 2 months or 6 months were probably superficial, childish and naive and they wouldn't rush to publish them because, again before Facebook or Twitter, they knew that they wouldn't get past some editor who would realize they were superficial, childish and naive.

In the past we would just wait until the start of the next school year and offer our conclusions in the inevitable "What I did during the summer holidays" essay assignment and our teachers would lie to us about interesting it all was.

Someday we'll look back on this period in history as the time verbal diarrhea and over-sharing ran amuck.

What you say is true but only to some degree.

Everyone has an opinion and most peple like to tell everyone about tehir opinion if you want to hear it or not. Facebook and twitter are okay becasue that is just people talking about themselves and their lives. That might be boring reading that and looking at photos of food and rice and clothes but it is still a persons opinion and still means something to them.

In the past we all had to listen to TV and radio and newspapers and whatever they said that was it. What they said had to be out opinion because we had no other way to say what our opinon was. Unless you were a journalist your opinion was only what you said to your friends.

Now we have comments and stuff when you read online and everyone can say their opinion. Sometimes they have good opinions and sometimes bad ones but I can tell you I learn more about different ways of thinking from reading 100 peoples comments than i learn from one person writing a newspaper story.

The newspaper writer is just one opinion and maybe 30 years experience, but maybe that writer is unhappy and bitter or maybe they have their own agenda to push.

[kevvy]

Enjoy the rest of your life....but America is not the place.Maybe you will find happinest one day ,true happinest like most ex pats here have .

kevvy

[seajae]

opinions are like ar*eholes, everyone has them, some dribble <deleted> while others just get down to doing their business. It is a bit over the top to think you can sum up Thailand after 6 months, you have given us your thoughts and although some may be close to the mark there are those that are not. It will be interesting to see how long before you are back, I now I may not agree with a lot of what they do here but I also know I prefer to live here than elsewhere, all sh*t aside, Thailand is what you make it, happy hunting

[Daniel Boon]

on reading your post, my first thought was for the young Thai lady that put in on the line for you .... perhaps you have contributed to the anti-American movement ... came in nice and polite, taken what you wanted/needed and (atypically American) gone home ... don't let the door hit ya ...

[kennypowers]

Your post started off pretty well.

I agree, far too many low income earning women are fleeced by their mothers and extended families under the "I took care of you when you were little" excuse – thus many end up selling their bodies to keep their parents in whisky and card games and elevate face in the village that "she's a good daughter".

But then you got into the relationship stuff and ended with:

"At 54, with a g/f 32, there is no way I will get involved with a girl over 40 again, unless I am 65 perhaps, but now? No way."

Why not? What do you have in common with a 32 year-old Thai woman? Music taste? Literature? Golf? Greek mythology?

Be honest, you enjoyed perving all over a young body for 6 months and she let you because she's seeking a secure future for her kids, family and herself, and as a prostitute will not be able to find a Thai or foreign man around her own age.

Fact is, if you made a prostitute the number one woman in your life in the USA, you'd have no problem securing her "love" either.

[bushwacker]

Great conclusions for a 6 monther. Would be different from a 1, 2, 5, 10 year vet. I was the same as you at 6 months but now with 6 years, things are quite different and clearer.

Have a good trip .... see you back soon.

[yanyk]

go back to her 'job'..hehehehehehehehe she left the job for u??..what 'job is that???

[iamariva1957]

When you have been here for longer than 6-months then you will actually be able to comment on Thailand and the people and culture with far more authority. But until then ... listen... though some of the things you said only scratched the surface ... have a good trip home.

[wym]

go back to her 'job'..hehehehehehehehe she left the job for u??..what 'job is that???

He was honest from the beginning she was a sex worker, but "high end soapie" not a bar girl.

[dotpoom]

Good luck and safe journey home. I tend to live one day at a time but I do make plans... I have learned over the years to not assume what i have planned is actually the way it will pan out.....sort of "go with the flow" is my attitude now....if you know what I mean ...and it usually turns out better than I had expected.

I at first seen this "supporting the mother and family" the same way as you do but the reality is that there is no social welfare or old age pensions schemes here so what other option is there. The girls don't object to looking after their "kin" as they see it as their primary duty and of course........they expect to be likewise taken care of when their time comes.

Enjoyed reading your slant on things..GB.