Staying at the in laws in Phrae at Songkran - hold me

[Shiver]

Make an appearance and drop the wife off with a wad of cash.

+1

That would be my solution also. Btw, does anybody have an EMP device to shut the noise down from a truck 'DJ' that decided to park outside my shack instead of their own? Between being handler for a farang friend and also fitting in with local time behaviour, I'm starting to lose it. A couple of hours sleep in between might make a big difference in my behaviour. The gods smiled on me mid afternoon yesterday and the rain came, so instead of people bleaching my eyes with buckets of surfactant, the umbrellas came out and it all went quiet for a while. Maybe in 24 hours I can act like a responsible guest once again.

Signed, Grumpy old man syndrome.

[rtco]

Got the same problem. Regularly go "up country" and used to stay in a local hotel but apparently my wife's family didn't like this so I relented. I now stay 2 nights (at most) ... no air-con just a fan, mattress on the floor, no Wi-Fi (although I use my phone as a Wi-Fi hotspot), always end up bitten to shreds (even using an insect repellant), toilets and shower are OK cos we doubled the size of the house a few years ago and I insisted on a proper bog. Now I even sometimes do the roundtrip in a day to avoid staying (between 9 & 10 hours on the rod) but at least the motor has aircon. No I ain't no wimp and accept that this is village life but I just like my home comforts ... so what!

[heybuz]

iv'e known of worse bogs in Greece

[CanThaiMike]

You should be humble. Why are you listening to all these cheap British and European Bastards here. There is nothing wrong with paying for some Thai people in and around the community. How many times a year do you go there? And by the way this is their holiday the least you can do by wishing them a Happy New Year is to join in and be part of the celebrations wow a few days of you buying whisky and beer and food. And about the airconditioning, Did you ever think to be kind enough to offer to buy an air con unit for them and have it installed so that way the next time you did go to visit them that you have aircon and you can stay with your Thai family and not in a hotel. Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families.

[rtco]

You should be humble. Why are you listening to all these cheap British and European Bastards here. There is nothing wrong with paying for some Thai people in and around the community. How many times a year do you go there? And by the way this is their holiday the least you can do by wishing them a Happy New Year is to join in and be part of the celebrations wow a few days of you buying whisky and beer and food. And about the airconditioning, Did you ever think to be kind enough to offer to buy an air con unit for them and have it installed so that way the next time you did go to visit them that you have aircon and you can stay with your Thai family and not in a hotel. Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families.

Those of us with Thai families pay our share, and some, but there are certain limits to what we can (want to) endure. It's not about being "cheap" it's about wanting a few home comforts ... that's all.

[belg]

no bum gun? unacceptable... or do you use the green water hose in the garden or that thing above the bucket?

[kennypowers]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

You're absolutely right. The problem is that none of these aspect of life are part of the package when such guys meet their Thai love in a big city or tourist destination. Most fall in lust with the sexy lady they met that night and can never mentally accept that the country bumpkin girl is the reality, not the high-heeled temptress.

The sad thing is most never love these women for who they are, but instead for who they want them to be. Thus the reason they can't wait to get away from the family home - lack of acceptance.

Again, you hit the nail on the head. Such guys think the car, condo, and fancy restaurants are an upgrade, but that's just another part of the big city fantasy she plays away from home. Moreover, many guys think the girl should be grateful for such an upgrade from her humble beginnings. And then they get angry when the girl is seemingly unappreciative no matter how much she is given. But they just don't get it, the smile doesn't fit the mouth, the shoes will never fit the feet. It's forced change for the sake of face, not really who she is, what she cares about and what warms her heart.

[ZigZagMan]

Do the relatives a favor and let them party without the pressure of a farang hanging out.

The farang is a novelty for an hour or so.

[shadmo63]

You absolute la-la. 25+ years ago every dunny right through asia was like that. There's a certain sort of cleanliness with a dunny where only your feet touch anything. Just like there's a certain sort of cleanliness with the now popular bum-gun.

[thejcb]

You lot don't know you've even been born. Cop this !!

[pinkpanther99]

Pink panther, I regret to inform you but you are displaying all the signs of a wimp.

Unless you're a vastly overweight fat b.....d, that toilet is no problem and indeed more hygienic than a toilet with a seat.No doubt there is a tank containing water next to it for flushing.Much more useful than toilets with a cistern which are useless if the water is cut off for any reason.

I suggest you attend a boot camp here in Bandung before next year to get you in shape both physically and mentally.Charges are very reasonable and on completion you're allowed a visit to the nearest Tesco Lotus, only 8 km away.

I'm not a wimp and I'm in excellent shape, probably the best shape I've been in my life.

But my point about the toilet is a valid one I think.

It's 2014 - people don't need to use a toilets like that any more!!

And there isn't a tank for flushing, check out the picture, it's just a bin filled up with water, you have to flush out the toilet yourself using a small bucket - it's not hygienic at all.

[ggt]

So that's my Songkran in upcountry over then.

After a 13 hour drive back from Phrae we arrived back home in Hua Hin just after midnight.

All in all it was fairly uneventful! Thanks to those who posted advice in here.

I did my bit, joined in playing with the water with the kids and got drunk with the village locals on another night before sneaking off back to my air con hotel room, every night apart from one.

Apparently my wife's old man didn't like the fact that I didn't want to stay at the family palace but does the Pink Panther's face look in the slightest bit bothered?

Another good thing is that I told my Mrs that it would be her and not me paying for trips to Big C and the like, which saw my Mrs be much more careful with spending on the family than I reckon she would have been otherwise - I think she might have actually learnt a thing or two this trip about managing personal finances!

Anyway, for those of you saying I should been a man about the whole thing and just stayed at the shack, here's why I stayed 3 out 4 nights in a hotel:

Surely a farangs worst nightmare?

To all you blokes who live in upcountry Thailand, does your toilet look anything like this?

Commonly referred to as a "bomb site" by many foreigners...no toilet paper...just you and a cup of cold water...

[pinkpanther99]

Now let me make this point clear, the inlaws (and extended family) aren't bad people it's just that we have a completely different mindset and I know that it is inevitable that we will make the trip to Big C or Tesco Lotus with about 15 people huddled in the back of the pickup who will seemingly just come along for the ride - I didn't realise supermarkets were such an attraction!

They aren't bad people, but you don't really like them. The completely different mindset seemed to attract you when you'd met your wife/gf.

Many people can't just go to Big-C, or Tesco, as a lack of transportation, isn't that much better to travel with friends and relatives, while making jokes about the foreigner's long nose and not understanding their language?

I did that so many times and never had a problem doing so. Sleep there for four days, where they live their whole lives.

Supermarkets are always an attraction as there's air conditioning. Many Thais just hang out there for hours, didn't you know that?

The inlaws have a two year old Toyota Vigo - it's a much nicer car than mine - they can go to Big C whenever they want. It's just that when I'm in town, they ALL want to go.

And as for my Mrs, when we got in bed last night, air con blasting out, she turned to me, kissed me on the cheek and said "I'm very happy to be back home". She maybe from the shack, but she's now used to air con, sleeping in a bed as opposed to the floor, eating at the table etc

[pinkpanther99]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

Yes, you make some valid points and as I said in my OP, I have tried to think about this from her point of view. Imagine if we went back to the UK at Christmas, for example, and she went to stay in a hotel instead of with my family. I wouldn't feel great. That said, our toilets are much nicer, even in Manchester.

[atyclb]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

You're absolutely right. The problem is that none of these aspect of life are part of the package when such guys meet their Thai love in a big city or tourist destination. Most fall in lust with the sexy lady they met that night and can never mentally accept that the country bumpkin girl is the reality, not the high-heeled temptress.

The sad thing is most never love these women for who they are, but instead for who they want them to be. Thus the reason they can't wait to get away from the family home - lack of acceptance.

Again, you hit the nail on the head. Such guys think the car, condo, and fancy restaurants are an upgrade, but that's just another part of the big city fantasy she plays away from home. Moreover, many guys think the girl should be grateful for such an upgrade from her humble beginnings. And then they get angry when the girl is seemingly unappreciative no matter how much she is given. But they just don't get it, the smile doesn't fit the mouth, the shoes will never fit the feet. It's forced change for the sake of face, not really who she is, what she cares about and what warms her heart.

We have yet another tv philosopher. there's one slight(LOL) fact that would seem to nullify your theorem. tons of those girls build nice western standard houses for mum, dad, auntie etc etc with western toilets, hot water showers, modern fully equipped kitchens and a/c with our money whether or not the "trophy husband" lives there or not.

[pinkpanther99]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

You're absolutely right. The problem is that none of these aspect of life are part of the package when such guys meet their Thai love in a big city or tourist destination. Most fall in lust with the sexy lady they met that night and can never mentally accept that the country bumpkin girl is the reality, not the high-heeled temptress.

The sad thing is most never love these women for who they are, but instead for who they want them to be. Thus the reason they can't wait to get away from the family home - lack of acceptance.

Again, you hit the nail on the head. Such guys think the car, condo, and fancy restaurants are an upgrade, but that's just another part of the big city fantasy she plays away from home. Moreover, many guys think the girl should be grateful for such an upgrade from her humble beginnings. And then they get angry when the girl is seemingly unappreciative no matter how much she is given. But they just don't get it, the smile doesn't fit the mouth, the shoes will never fit the feet. It's forced change for the sake of face, not really who she is, what she cares about and what warms her heart.

I agree with your points, except for one thing. My Mrs isn't sexy, not even close. However, I love her for the beautiful person she is inside, for her great sense of humor, her caring nature, her ability to always look on the bright side of life and for the way at how each and every day she never fails to amaze me just how good a mother she is to our young daughter. My life would be incomplete without her, but sexy? Not a chance..

[pinkpanther99]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

You're absolutely right. The problem is that none of these aspect of life are part of the package when such guys meet their Thai love in a big city or tourist destination. Most fall in lust with the sexy lady they met that night and can never mentally accept that the country bumpkin girl is the reality, not the high-heeled temptress.

The sad thing is most never love these women for who they are, but instead for who they want them to be. Thus the reason they can't wait to get away from the family home - lack of acceptance.

Again, you hit the nail on the head. Such guys think the car, condo, and fancy restaurants are an upgrade, but that's just another part of the big city fantasy she plays away from home. Moreover, many guys think the girl should be grateful for such an upgrade from her humble beginnings. And then they get angry when the girl is seemingly unappreciative no matter how much she is given. But they just don't get it, the smile doesn't fit the mouth, the shoes will never fit the feet. It's forced change for the sake of face, not really who she is, what she cares about and what warms her heart.

We have yet another tv philosopher. there's one slight(LOL) fact that would seem to nullify your theorem. tons of those girls build nice western standard houses for mum, dad, auntie etc etc with western toilets, hot water showers, modern fully equipped kitchens and a/c with our money whether or not the "trophy husband" lives there or not.

Also agree with this.

[zoroastra999]

It may be your annual low, but it's the highlight of the year for your relatives. The rest of their year is a continuous low - way off your graph.

[pinkpanther99]

You should be humble. Why are you listening to all these cheap British and European Bastards here. There is nothing wrong with paying for some Thai people in and around the community. How many times a year do you go there? And by the way this is their holiday the least you can do by wishing them a Happy New Year is to join in and be part of the celebrations wow a few days of you buying whisky and beer and food. And about the airconditioning, Did you ever think to be kind enough to offer to buy an air con unit for them and have it installed so that way the next time you did go to visit them that you have aircon and you can stay with your Thai family and not in a hotel. Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families.

No offence Thai Mike but I've never heard so much rubbish. I joined in with the celebrations, went partying, even had a night drinking Lao Kow. However, let me tell you a story about being humble and offering to buy things....

My last visit at the shack, prior to this one, I offered to pay for a whole new bathroom at the family home. My offer was to accompany my father in law to the local store and purchase for him whatever he wanted. He point blankly refused only to keep on pestering my wife for cash so he could go and buy everything he needed himself. She refused to give him cash, explaining that my original offer was a good one. We later found out that when he got no luck from me, he asked my ex-brother in law (also a farang) for cash to do up the bathroom. He gave him 5k Baht, which the father in law went and lost in a game of cards!! (very frickin humble!!!)

More than 2 years later and the bathroom, the one pictured in this thread, is in exactly the same state of disrepair it was previously. As for air con, they actually have 2 air con units from when her youngest sister split up from her farang husband, they're wrapped up in plastic bags in the living room but the father in law refuses to get them installed.

[tubby johnson]

Pink Panther has shown the ultimate insult to his wife's family by deeming her parents' home beneath him. He took one look around the house and sniffily declared: "A dog kennel for poor people, unfit for a civilised man from the big city. Adios, chumps."

[atyclb]

You should be humble. Why are you listening to all these cheap British and European Bastards here. There is nothing wrong with paying for some Thai people in and around the community. How many times a year do you go there? And by the way this is their holiday the least you can do by wishing them a Happy New Year is to join in and be part of the celebrations wow a few days of you buying whisky and beer and food. And about the airconditioning, Did you ever think to be kind enough to offer to buy an air con unit for them and have it installed so that way the next time you did go to visit them that you have aircon and you can stay with your Thai family and not in a hotel. Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families.

"Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families."

Basically the choice is to be on welfare back home versus being the welfare provider in thailand? some people are not cheap but simply cautious and intelligent. basically anyone with a high school diploma from a developed country including korea, taiwan, japan, singapore has little or nothing in common with many of those girls not to mention their families. remove the financial support and see how long those "teerak love" relationships will last.

[pinkpanther99]

Pink Panther has shown the ultimate insult to his wife's family by deeming her parents' home beneath him. He took one look around the house and sniffily declared: "A dog kennel for poor people, unfit for a civilised man from the big city. Adios, chumps."

Absolutely not. This couldn't be further from the truth. I've stayed in the shack many time before. I think I stayed for 5 days once. Just this time, I chose to stay in a hotel.

To be honest, I think they didn't want a 'sniffly' farang hanging around anyway - win, win for everyone.

And if you read my earlier post, the 2nd and 3rd nights, my daughter stayed with me because it was so hot, she needed the air con room - she's only 18months old

[atyclb]

You should be humble. Why are you listening to all these cheap British and European Bastards here. There is nothing wrong with paying for some Thai people in and around the community. How many times a year do you go there? And by the way this is their holiday the least you can do by wishing them a Happy New Year is to join in and be part of the celebrations wow a few days of you buying whisky and beer and food. And about the airconditioning, Did you ever think to be kind enough to offer to buy an air con unit for them and have it installed so that way the next time you did go to visit them that you have aircon and you can stay with your Thai family and not in a hotel. Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families.

No offence Thai Mike but I've never heard so much rubbish. I joined in with the celebrations, went partying, even had a night drinking Lao Kow. However, let me tell you a story about being humble and offering to buy things....

My last visit at the shack, prior to this one, I offered to pay for a whole new bathroom at the family home. My offer was to accompany my father in law to the local store and purchase for him whatever he wanted. He point blankly refused only to keep on pestering my wife for cash so he could go and buy everything he needed himself. She refused to give him cash, explaining that my original offer was a good one. We later found out that when he got no luck from me, he asked my ex-brother in law (also a farang) for cash to do up the bathroom. He gave him 5k Baht, which the father in law went and lost in a game of cards!! (very frickin humble!!!)

More than 2 years later and the bathroom, the one pictured in this thread, is in exactly the same state of disrepair it was previously. As for air con, they actually have 2 air con units from when her youngest sister split up from her farang husband, they're wrapped up in plastic bags in the living room but the father in law refuses to get them installed.

That sounds about right (exceptions duly noted) gambling, drinking(alcoholism),zero personal development, zero critical thinking, reasoning, logic, foresight. Image over substance cause there not a whole lot of substance. Sure the blame is on the education system and culture but it doesn't change the facts of what you are dealing with and how it impacts others.

[Frank James]

You should be humble. Why are you listening to all these cheap British and European Bastards here. There is nothing wrong with paying for some Thai people in and around the community. How many times a year do you go there? And by the way this is their holiday the least you can do by wishing them a Happy New Year is to join in and be part of the celebrations wow a few days of you buying whisky and beer and food. And about the airconditioning, Did you ever think to be kind enough to offer to buy an air con unit for them and have it installed so that way the next time you did go to visit them that you have aircon and you can stay with your Thai family and not in a hotel. Maybe all you cheap foreigners should go back to your countries and go on welfare if you can not afford to stay here and take care of your Thai families.

Oh, this has got to Win Self Righteous Post of The Day, if not the week!! and after only 3 posts!

My wife went back to the rice patch to be with her family, supplied with a nice little wad of baht, with all of her gold and latest clothes and shoes (my Gawd, the SHOES!) and flew in on Nok Air so she could arrive like a Hi-So. I stayed in CM. We've been chatting via video calls and I smile and wave and sawasdee krap everybody, and they are always squatting on the big mat, eating/drinking and digging each others company. There is absolutely no reason for me to go there, to sleep on a mat with the family, slapping at mosquitoes, sweating my ass off in the crapper shed, having nobody to talk to, watching everybody drink...you all know what I'm talking about. I respect all of their traditions, but THAT AIN'T ME, BABE! My wife knows this, and I know she's happier not having to take care of me, as she feels is her life's work.

--Cheap American Bastard

[Frank James]

PS: I put no judgement whatsoever on my wife or her family. I love her strong "country ways", and I know she is "Isaan Proud", as she should be. They're all good people and I like them. I'm fairly sure they like me. But I might as well be from the somewhere beyond Jupiter. They don't know what to do for me when I've been there, so this is better. We get a few days apart, and that's good too.

There's a lot of ways to view all this stuff we're discussing here, no?

[louse1953]

Why do you need hot water in April for a shower? Take a big icebox and plenty of beers, buy a mosquito net the type you string up around the bed. Mosquito repellant cream for the daytime. No aircon could be tough.

Sleep out side with foldable mozzie net,bought on the side of road.

[zaZa9]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

This is a bit over the top isnt it?

I dont see the op puting his wife or her family down , just commenting on the fact that a visit to the baan at this time of the year will involve some inconveniences - inconveniencies that he would prefer to avoid.

Would you have his wifes ( and possibly some of the families) breadwinner unwell and unable to provide after showing some sort of warped idea of 'respect'?

My tg expected me to sleep on a mat on a tiled floor the first time.

I did so the first night and didnt complain , but at 53 years old , I awoke with a bad back and barely able to drive the family in my pickup anywhere next day.

Would it have been a better outcome for her and family if I had persevered another night and probably awoken worse , or with a bout of fever , or a bad attitude because of lack of sleep?

Respect is a two way street , and its what I got when I said I was staying at a hotel . The family shrugged , where I sleep was obviously up to me...

And thats the beauty of it all here , what you choose to do is up to you , and nobody generally has the insecurity or false sensibilities to pretend that if your given the choice of a proper bed , a fan or a/c , a vermin free environment and a pool you shouldnt take it. That somehow they should be insulted ..

In fact some of the teens asked if they could and stay at the hotel to! 555

[louse1953]

Welcome to the third world 555

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

No ac and hot water,and that makes it 3rd world!!!

[JSPS]

That's certainly the cleanest one of those I have seen in many a year. No problem when I was younger, but my knees just can't take it anymore. My wife is even more worse off. She has Rhuematoid Arthritis and that completely rules out Squatees. (What? Do you think those beautiful young brides will never get older?)

[lumply]

OP glad to hear that you got the hotel room... Will certainly make things much comfortable and also gives you the freedom to slip away for a bit of privacy when needed

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

....not to mention that essential me time on a decent Crapper!