Just tossed GF #4 out in a month

[lormakmak]

Didn't read the lot, sorry if a retread - but to the OP:

Traditional Thai culture, especially among the non-poor subcultures, dictates that a man and woman sleeping together are in a committed relationship.

To us that latter phrase implies marriage, but then again our ideas on marriage aren't the same either.

Just because she expected a salary for her services doesn't mean she didn't genuinely see you as a good candidate for the long term, and believe me she can do a lot better financially if she's as lovely as you say.

So take it as a compliment, the only relevant factor should be "can you afford her", not your judgment that she's being like a prostitute or trying to take the piss, this is an entirely normal arrangement here.

Who knows she may well have been "the one" for you 8-)

But obviously not if you can't afford her.

so you are saying in Thai culture that every woman that is non-poor is being paid a wage to be with their husbands?

I am all for that but to be honest if I was paying someone then essentially I would be in charge of that employee and what I say goes.... it's putting the latter into practice that I do not believe will work out.

[LaraC]

More and more each day Thaivisa forum is becoming an agony aunt column for deadbeats...

[LaraC]

The OP tossed out 4 girls in a month, so I guess that makes him a tosser by profession. (Sorry, couldn`t resist it).

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods. All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in theyre 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased and so on with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their newfound wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up dead.

Many of the Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West, where basically all they want is a child and to accumulate wealth for a comfortable life later on without a male partner. I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, or in other words, tread carefully out there, it can be dangerous world where you stand to lose everything, even your life in some cases.

And you dont feel that due to internet and a more closely connected world, flying long distances becoming so common, that the quality, reason and attitudes of the western men of all ages coming here looking for young women have also not changed in the 30yrs since you met your wife?

Beetlejuice speaks the truth and I believe it. I've seen it, and actually esperienced these farang scamming black widows, though I never lost a penny to them.

You can meet them on Thailovelinks and many other dating sites where there are alot of farang potentials. Also on Soi 11 Sukhumvit, where the more wealthy farangs hang out in the clubs.

You had me transfixed by your story until then.

Record...broken......record.....

[Beetlejuice]

The OP tossed out 4 girls in a month, so I guess that makes him a tosser by profession. (Sorry, couldn`t resist it).

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods. All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in theyre 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased and so on with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their newfound wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up dead.

Many of the Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West, where basically all they want is a child and to accumulate wealth for a comfortable life later on without a male partner. I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, or in other words, tread carefully out there, it can be dangerous world where you stand to lose everything, even your life in some cases.

And you dont feel that due to internet and a more closely connected world, flying long distances becoming so common, that the quality, reason and attitudes of the western men of all ages coming here looking for young women have also not changed in the 30yrs since you met your wife?

Good question and having put some thought into this, I would say no in answer to all your questions because it`s always been the same situations and attitudes pertaining to the guys.

It`s a case of the good, the bad and the ugly.

There are the good guys, seeking women of similar age for love and romance believing that finding a female soul mate in the third world is not as competitive as in the Western countries, the bad guys seeking girls of ill repute just for cheap sex basically to use and abuse and than the ugly, meaning granddads hoping that women young enough to be their daughters or granddaughters will be content to stay with them taking on the roles as a sexual partners and carers in exchange for some financial and material benefits, sort of rent a wives only with them while the money lasts.

Some of these guys still believe it`s like the movie, Mutiny on the Bounty in these regions of the world, that Asian girls will fancy any guy with a white skin, whatever age they are or how they look and believe these women consider it going up status forming relations with farangs and literally queuing up for their attentions.

Of course many of these farang guys will aim for the Thai girls from the lower end of Thai society, considering these women as being more desperate and less of a challenge to pull, because most middle and upper class Thai women would never consider going with a farang, unless the guy is someone of prominence, as a matter of fact Thai women who do form relationships with farangs are frowned upon in Thai society, some Thais consider it as dishonouring their families.

My point is that the attitudes of these women have changed over the last 30 years, in other words they have smartened up plus of course the Thai economy has much improved and as a whole Thai people are a lot better of today than they were in the past. I know, I was there. This means that nowadays many Thai women are no longer living in hope that a knight in shining armour will whisk them away and rescue them from a life of strife and poverty.

The problem is that there are many Thai women who believe that settling down should only be with another Thai (the real deal for them) and farangs are only suitable as friends with benefits, if that is the right term? Meaning the farang guy gets sex with perhaps the semblance of the woman being a girlfriend and the woman obtains financial and material benefits, mostly within the under and lower classes of Thai society as they perceive this as a means of gaining some wealth and improving the status of their families in the local poor communities. Once the woman has fulfilled this purpose than she expects to move on and will not consider the farang as suitable long-term marriage material, we could describe this as a sort of game or the act of going through the motions. Of course this is not always the case, but my point is that farang guys seeking Thai girlfriends or wives should be aware and understand these facts prior to falling head over heals in love and jumping in at the deep end too soon.

Just something to point out to the OP: He should ask himself, why would attractive young girls need to advertise for boyfriends or be seeking husbands on some free or cheap crappy dating sites? This alone should send alarm bells ringing that these women are looking for gullible fools in order for gain and have no intentions of forming genuine relationships.

[puukao]

I am currently on Thai girlfriend #1,876,232

#189,762 was crazy, she wanted me to learn thai

#387,219 was even crazier, as she wanted to go out in public

#872,662 was insane, as she wanted to talk in some deep, philosophical manner

#1,238,762 barely turned 19. I was 79 at the time. Almost worked.

#1,652,652 had to go when she knew i dated her whole village

and #1,876,231 was almost a keeper, but she found out i had 1000 aliases on TF and asked me about it

[GrantSmith]

This place gets more like the wooden portal every day.

You mean, we just need a witch and a lion?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[GrantSmith]

More and more each day Thaivisa forum is becoming an agony aunt column for deadbeats...

But it brightens your day just ever so slightly, no?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[wym]

There but for the grace of dog go I

[lormakmak]

The OP tossed out 4 girls in a month, so I guess that makes him a tosser by profession. (Sorry, couldn`t resist it).

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods. All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in theyre 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased and so on with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their newfound wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up dead.

Many of the Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West, where basically all they want is a child and to accumulate wealth for a comfortable life later on without a male partner. I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, or in other words, tread carefully out there, it can be dangerous world where you stand to lose everything, even your life in some cases.

And you dont feel that due to internet and a more closely connected world, flying long distances becoming so common, that the quality, reason and attitudes of the western men of all ages coming here looking for young women have also not changed in the 30yrs since you met your wife?

Beetlejuice speaks the truth and I believe it. I've seen it, and actually esperienced these farang scamming black widows, though I never lost a penny to them.

You can meet them on Thailovelinks and many other dating sites where there are alot of farang potentials. Also on Soi 11 Sukhumvit, where the more wealthy farangs hang out in the clubs.

You had me transfixed by your story until then.

Record...broken......record.....

Why don't you take a break before you have a melt down treacle

[wym]

so you are saying in Thai culture that every woman that is non-poor is being paid a wage to be with their husbands?

I am all for that but to be honest if I was paying someone then essentially I would be in charge of that employee and what I say goes.... it's putting the latter into practice that I do not believe will work out.

I'm not saying anything at all about other people's wives.

I know I myself would never want anymore to start any relationship on any other basis.

At least among the girls that stay with me, they EXPECT me to take the lead, if you were to ask "so honey what kind of restaurant would you like to go to tonight?" they would panic, try to think what the "right answer" is, thinking it was a trick question or something, what are you asking ME for, obviously UP TO YOU. Not just because I'm paying, but like any senior/junior relationship in the traditional hierarchical Thai mindset.

The flip side of that is that I have an obligation beyond just paying her, to anticipate her needs, to genuinely try to make her happy, maybe not giving her everything she WANTS, but doing my best to take care of her very real NEEDS.

And since they won't explicitly communicate their inner thoughts at first, it takes a bit of experience and intuition, being sensitive to their non-verbal cues etc etc.

Sure on fundamental issues, sticking to the financial deal not giving in to emotional manipulation there sometimes you have to be the hard guy. But it isn't in the interest of the family unit to let an immature teenage-mentality brainwashed by consumer culture and maybe greedy family to drive you to bankruptcy is it?

None of this is any different from any M-F relationship, just the starting basis foundation IMO makes it much more LIKELY to turn out well compared to looking for "lurve" in all the wrong places.

[HooHaa]

What makes me so different to them except for the colour of my skin?

Attitude? From the tone of your post, you dont come acrosd as someone looking for a loving partner to share the joys and sorrows for the rest of life. You seem to be looking for a beautiful girl who loves sex and willing to pay for her own upkeep.

jesus, aren't we all?

id even line up.

[wym]

Beetlejuice speaks the truth and I believe it. I've seen it, and actually esperienced these farang scamming black widows, though I never lost a penny to them.

You can meet them on Thailovelinks and many other dating sites where there are alot of farang potentials. Also on Soi 11 Sukhumvit, where the more wealthy farangs hang out in the clubs.

Oh my Buddha is right.

OK, grains of truth and all, but really, widen your horizons a bit. . .

[HooHaa]

so you are saying in Thai culture that every woman that is non-poor is being paid a wage to be with their husbands?

I am all for that but to be honest if I was paying someone then essentially I would be in charge of that employee and what I say goes.... it's putting the latter into practice that I do not believe will work out.

I'm not saying anything at all about other people's wives.

I know I myself would never want anymore to start any relationship on any other basis.

At least among the girls that stay with me, they EXPECT me to take the lead, if you were to ask "so honey what kind of restaurant would you like to go to tonight?" they would panic, try to think what the "right answer" is, thinking it was a trick question or something, what are you asking ME for, obviously UP TO YOU. Not just because I'm paying, but like any senior/junior relationship in the traditional hierarchical Thai mindset.

The flip side of that is that I have an obligation beyond just paying her, to anticipate her needs, to genuinely try to make her happy, maybe not giving her everything she WANTS, but doing my best to take care of her very real NEEDS.

And since they won't explicitly communicate their inner thoughts at first, it takes a bit of experience and intuition, being sensitive to their non-verbal cues etc etc.

Sure on fundamental issues, sticking to the financial deal not giving in to emotional manipulation there sometimes you have to be the hard guy. But it isn't in the interest of the family unit to let an immature teenage-mentality brainwashed by consumer culture and maybe greedy family to drive you to bankruptcy is it?

None of this is any different from any M-F relationship, just the starting basis foundation IMO makes it much more LIKELY to turn out well compared to looking for "lurve" in all the wrong places.

good lord do you love the man you portray yourself to be.

Edited March 20, 2014 by HooHaa

[wym]

WHo said anything about sex on the first date? 6 weeks from when we met until we slept together. No hint of "take care" or me expected to pay for her at anytime up until we slept together. Just looking for a normal girl with a normal job who loves sex, is hot and willing to pay her own way in life. Is that really too much to ask in a city of 12 million people? Thai guys get it all the time, even the unemployed losers. What makes me so different to them except for the colour of my skin?

Money?

Well the color of your skin causes most people to see her as. . .

That loss of face needs to be compensated for.

And face it you're just not. all. that.

Yes, IMO for the standard you're looking for, you will need to pay. If you just don't want to pat that much, you'll need to cange your strategies and your target profile.

It would save everyone so much trouble if the girl could just tell you upfront on day one about her expectations rather than wait until you've slept together. Just a complete waste of my time in hindsight.

And she wasted hers, which is obviously much more valuable.

Let's call it the "medium con"

Help me out with an analogy.

Someone bragging they can get laid lots in Thailand is the same as...

Talking about what a great fisherman you are, turns out you're not going any further out to sea than here

[Seastallion]

"I feel bad for the poor sucker that hooks up with her him long term"

[Skint]

Oh dear, op why do you wait before smashing your GF's? Waiting for that special night makes zero difference I reckon your just trying to relive losing your virginity

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[JLCrab]

I am currently on Thai girlfriend #1,876,232

#189,762 was crazy, she wanted me to learn thai

#387,219 was even crazier, as she wanted to go out in public

#872,662 was insane, as she wanted to talk in some deep, philosophical manner

#1,238,762 barely turned 19. I was 79 at the time. Almost worked.

#1,652,652 had to go when she knew i dated her whole village

and #1,876,231 was almost a keeper, but she found out i had 1000 aliases on TF and asked me about it

Sure, but how many of them were significant (as in SO's)?

Edited March 20, 2014 by JLCrab

[LaraC]

You had me transfixed by your story until then.

Record...broken......record.....

Why don't you take a break before you have a melt down treacle

coming from the man who uses thaivisa forum as an agony uncle page.....

I dunno lormakmak, maybe the patronising a-hole approach works on farm girls who dont understand English, but for the slightly more discerning woman, it just doesnt cut it to be honest. 0/10

[alyx]

"so many other men are willing to offer her up to 20,000 a day for sex (I've seen the texts)"

From her mates, the oldest trick in the book and you bought it.

Ah no.it was guys from internet dating sites. You want to know what they looked like? I saw their profiles..mid 50s, officer manager type of look, actually pretty normal which surprised me as why would they have to offer that kind of money? You could see a guy in a wheelchair or disfigured having to ante in 20K but not a normal looking older guy.

It's a big world out there and attraction has nothing to do with appearance ( physically challenged or disfigured people are not rejected by all, on the contrary )....just check out all the targeted websites

Also some guys ( or women for that matter ) prefer to pay as in a NSA way of life and I don't blaim them. It is better that waking up with a bill on the table for a job one hadn't receive any quotation

Note that, at least at the moment, I do not fit any of the categories cited above

This being said, 30,000 a month for an average of 60 brief encounters is a lot cheaper than what a spouse costs you for a lot less received

[somchaismith]

"so many other men are willing to offer her up to 20,000 a day for sex (I've seen the texts)"

From her mates, the oldest trick in the book and you bought it.

Ah no.it was guys from internet dating sites. You want to know what they looked like? I saw their profiles..mid 50s, officer manager type of look, actually pretty normal which surprised me as why would they have to offer that kind of money? You could see a guy in a wheelchair or disfigured having to ante in 20K but not a normal looking older guy.

It's a big world out there and attraction has nothing to do with appearance ( physically challenged or disfigured people are not rejected by all, on the contrary )....just check out all the targeted websites

Also some guys ( or women for that matter ) prefer to pay as in a NSA way of life and I don't blaim them. It is better that waking up with a bill on the table for a job one hadn't receive any quotation

Note that, at least at the moment, I do not fit any of the categories cited above

This being said, 30,000 a month for an average of 60 brief encounters is a lot cheaper than what a spouse costs you for a lot less received

Don't forget that there would be a substantial discount for a bulk purchase.

[sam sen]

Bait is all your ever going to get. Get used to it. YOUR A CHUMP.

'YOUR A CHUMP.'

methinks the chump is you

[lomatopo]

That's what you get with "no emotional baggage", or is it "why you love Thailand"?

And everything seemed so rosy a mere 10 days ago…

I now date a gorgeous and sexy 25 year old office worker.

Unless she just aged two years, 27 or 25, this may be a different GF? Hopefully the OP can keep track, maybe he get's them numbered tattoos?

Edited March 21, 2014 by lomatopo

[yourauntbob]

Help me out with an analogy.

Someone bragging they can get laid lots in Thailand is the same as...

someone saying they can eat a lot at a buffet

[MrHammer]

Excellent salesmanship by the girl here. First she built a connection, then she made the irressistible one time offer at the time you were your weakest. These girls waste their time selling sex. If they had any kind of drive, they could have made excellent sales reps in other business.

[lomatopo]

Excellent salesmanship by the girl here.

Not sure what qualifies as "excellent", but not only did she fail to close, she wasted 4 weeks on a poor prospect and got thrown out by the customer.

Based on her performance this quarter I'm not sure she would make a very good sales rep?

[yourauntbob]

Help me out with an analogy.

Someone bragging they can get laid lots in Thailand is the same as...

I don't want to get laid lots….that's got nothing to do with the point of my post. Its more about a lack of normal quality girls that are willing to date a 42 year old (not fat).

i am sure there are plenty of 35 year olds that would fall in that category. are you chasing the uni girls or ones closer to your age?

[MrHammer]

Excellent salesmanship by the girl here.

Not sure what qualifies as "excellent", but not only did she fail to close, she wasted 4 weeks on a poor prospect and got thrown out by the customer.

Based on her performance this quarter I'm not sure she would make a very good sales rep?

You're right, she needs a rigorous course on closing. Any volunteers?

[thailampang2012]

4 in a month? Dude you must be a serious man! Why not make it 5 then? Easy won easy gone.

4 in a month??? For a 40 years old farang is a very low handicap in Thailand.....even no paying...

[oldsailor35]

Well, i must look rather well off, as i get "chatted up" on a weekly basis. I am a senior. Only yesterday i was chatted up whilst waiting for the Koh Samui ferry, by a quite attractive, probably early 40's lady who is a hotel receptionist. Did'nt swallow the bait though.

[impulse]

This being said, 30,000 a month for an average of 60 brief encounters is a lot cheaper than what a spouse costs you for a lot less received

60 encounters in a month? Jeez, I'd need to add the Emergency Room fees and/or the cost of a home defibrillator.

Now, 20 30 years ago....

Edited for honesty.

Edited March 21, 2014 by impulse